She Shall Never Know: The first Introduction

The morning crawled into my eyes like a stranger seeped into the house1

I ventured in the night for the man that said he wanted me2

Was to be his campfire around him? Sex was not my favorite for some reason3

But thinking of him were the thoughts that skipped upon my heart4

In each heartbeat was his name Scott. I kept him like a mirror upon my wall5

Did I truly love him? There he was the houses was beside me encircling6

Me like mosses so nosey they were. Nature felt so as people do listening7

To your conversations I find each nature with eyes and breathe. My man8

Stood like a enchanting sea deep skin of brown his eyes like a darkened crow9

I conversant through them like as if it was my pet. I could not tell him10

When he asked, “What do you see in me” I could not explain that he was11

All my eyes could desire from the warmth of his tone to depth of his eyes12

Only I would be a passing light to his venturing night. My skin was dim though dim but proud. Leaves that passed though my hair when he touched it. Was I special?13

If I cried would he cared seems someone made a candle wise that lost lover’s night14

When I was in my room encircled my tears of doves. Tears of doves these tears of doves could not sing the way a real dove does and these doves were gray. I would say shimmering grey. We had been spending days together as he met me two days ago I could not tell me mother this she would kill me. She was fond of a Christian man from church but this man preached his word upon my heart. I felt God’s touch on his hand. It quietly made me laugh yet hysterically funny this was true. I often could not find love15

So afraid about something about letting my heart dance in fire and then finding out it was fire. There the pain would hit me and when I hurt I hurt all over red buries my face and then my heart feels bitten by a shark. After so no longer will I be able to love the way I did when I thought love was all true. I was not a child I had to find love on my own. Was this supposed to be him? As she walked the man stood there encompassed underneath the tress. “Baby my sweet baby” his smiled that seemed kind a bit monstrous. Hey “I have something so very important to tell you baby I want to be forever with you yet right not I don’t want to be with you.” My mind could not understand him I felt shy to his scary words. I could not utter so the let the silence speak through my singing eyes yet I had too. He wanted a hug there I gave it to him he gave it to me forcefully being raped underneath love. What a crime to this wondrous beauty. Was I not beautiful then? I walked back home in the thoughtful eve. Houses large that16

Felt like giants around me or gods. She opened the door as he mother domed her with “wash up the dishes” I could not tell her my feeling it was only for me. So I went in my room to confess to my diary. I ran up the burgundy stairs. When I reach in my room I grab my journal as my tears fell like stars from the sky melting down a rainy lover’s time. How sweet was this praised with nothing? I was so tormented her mind began to feel discomforted anger raged in a storm. I found my black elegant phone that had silver pokadots. Her phone that went lovely with her elegant white diamond room. Her house was large and her room she decorated so very elegant. Her curtains and such skipped with poised as to the beat of her grace or the voice or gesture through her soft femine lips. A precious star how could he? She called his number as he answers her voice that beguiled her. Scott what do you mean I thought I was your love your princess underneath your arms your moon in your sky and you my wand in my air. I thought… before she could speak he hung up. She stormed deeply inside something fell out her chest a speck of red blush from her heart. She did not know because who knows when the heart breaks. So it was blushed in the air as it turned dark. Speaks of dirt that seemed like dust upon the floor. She began to lie on the bed as she held her storm17

That burned the sky. All was dark and sad. “Go to sleep” was this feeling that could not and would never want to recall. He was furnished like a cloud. She called him again he answers “What is it?” “Listen you dam f don’t ever call my house again you was not my liking” She laughed a bit as she wiped her mosses of tears and thought about the man she hoped for in her mind. He was not so but deep into her eyes he was but the man she thought of would have never left her. The man that was behind her at the houses two houses behind her was the man. The man that enjoyed her as if she was her own. The days swelled like leaves spring was arriving as I felt her nearby her clothed of white summer dress. I nested behind the trees dancing with the air. The way I sang through the birds with the birds harmonizing I did. I could not remember any of those sadden lover’s time. 18

I went and took an exercised in the morning. I was thankful that I had graduated from high school. Those high school time wows. A woman now I was in love with men. Olden men for an older man would not take my heart to a hill and then throw it away for a hill is the highest anyone can walk up to and my graceful legs can not walk that far but if passion so meet the eyes there I would. So in my room I would fiddle with my fingers watch the very wall write stems of poetry and lay up on the bed. My hair would prance against the sheet and I could feel my mother as she began to tap against my door. I could tell she was wearing her sandals how they skipped but with a softer muse sound. She knocked and I opened it but I wondered why her knocked was extreme. I often hated the noise especially when my thoughts were being formed. I wished that was Scot knocking on my door. I then opened it up and there I saw him. It was not my mother. I was a bit disturbed in my nightgown. “Hey baby I just wanted to say I missed you’ I didn’t know what to say because one month has passed and I was not thinking of him anymore. Infact there was this new guy had dreamed of speaking to. This neighbor that I heard was coming. My mom said that he gorgeous and she herself would dream of going with him but I did not know how he looked. I told myself that I was going to see him tomorrow but I kept on forgetting. I must not talk about him now. There was Scott in front of my face. His face looking like a beaten song. I hope this song of my absents bothered him because my eyes could scent the mildew upon him. His scent felt very tearful. He stared at my outfit and I could see that he wanted to smile.” What do you want?” I yelled, “Why are you hear?” Beautiful I want you. He tried to rope me with his arm as I stepped away. Was he trying to take me in his heart again? If he did he would have to clean up the mess? But I knew deep down I did not want him too though he would have to be the only want to deal with such things. He tried to place his palm on the side of my cheek as I want desperately to feel against his hair so I could not help it. So I combed my fingers on his hair just to feel him and then I said, “Your hair is growing curly as I gave a little laugh.” Then I went back to my surprised notion “Umm yeah so why are you hearing.” Darling I “but I am not your darling anymore Have you forgot1” What if he was my love?” He has to show me. I wrote you this poem as he spoke he pulled some roseate sheet out of his pocket. I love being treated as a fairy princess. Then he began the read “Raven what else can I saw then he stopped “I want you to read it because only my heart can understand my words the way I can so there is no reason that I should do the reading.” I calm down as I looked in his eyes my brow calming as he could see. He slowly lifted up a smile. She noticed that so she placed her brows back down and beat him with the same tone. “Aren’t you supposed to read it? She then paused. She was about to speak then felt as though her paused was long so she stood in a tiresome way and spoke as she tapped her feet. “Hurry up!” tell me what “You know what I will read it then and what is your number my mind forgot is. “She said. This time she said it in a casual way. ‘Ok I hope you read it with sympathy” she replied quickly “I hope you remember the sympathy in the way you told me “It’s over without a reason and hanged up.” He turned back and she came closer to him as her tears fell down as if all her words seeped out her eyes. “I’m sorry love I’m sorry I did not mean like that. All I meant was that I can’t be with you because…She spoke “Because you don’t want to be with me anymore” “No because “She broke his line again “because with someone else” as she stared up in his face. There she saw as tears fell out his eyes like rain does to sand. It gave her tender noticed and then she stared in her eyes. “Why can’t tell me? Are you going to leave it because? There are no reasons. There was none.” She pushed him back. “Tell me!” He spoke because I was angry at myself. I mean my grades were slipping and my mom had divorced with my Dad. It made me feel like there was no such word as trusting someone.” She smiled relieved and what she learned was about her that she witness for the first time that someone had loved her back and that she was quite insecure about herself. She grabbed him and then she pushed him HE smiled, “What’s wrong” He said. “Nothing is wrong. I’m wrong so you shouldn’t be beside me or with me because of how I acted.” “No I was wrong for letting my beautiful beauty leave me.” She smiled as she came closer. “That’s what I wanted you to say.” Now sex felt like something she should be doing at this time yet Raven couldn’t. Sex was more precious then anyone. Sex was her. Sex was her heart. If she broke her sex promise to a guy. The guy would have to be the one because once it’s broken so it is the heart that will never be replaced. Sex will always be remembered. HE came closer. She did not reveal to him of her virginity. He could never know such things. Those things were kept for herself. This beautiful Monday evening she wondered if her she can swing with him for four hours but her mother was down stairs. If her mother saw him kissing her she would have such a hard time finding her man. They laid on the bed like a moon a silver moon for an hour and she could hear the tap of someone else. She was hoping it was her cat. She pushed him up as she sat on the furniture. There at the corner of her eye was her mother. Her eyes looked like an oozing cat’s eyes. She was frightened as she jumped up. Did her mother see him on her? Who would know? She couldn’t say anything. Asking her would make it seem so but she did not want to be embarrassed. There in front was a window and her eyes opened wide as she saw the thin curtains swaying and a hand mark on the window. She couldn’t tell him. He probably would never want to be with her but she would never let him back in the house and would never trust me. Raven never knew what her mother thought of her but she cared because she was responsible for her love life, her friends her career. Though she had just graduated she was now moving in to college and freedom was very important to her. She could see the time in his eyes. His eyes were created a hurled moon through his night day’s eyes. The surrounding of morning made me forget because focused in his presence was anything time and it was tonight. I had to show him that I love him as he sat there. Innocently beautiful. I wanted him to know how good I could be. I had to show him I’m everything. My heart filled with tears still she did not dry off all those wet times when she was silent with him. HE could did not call. How could I ever trust him? What if she she’ll never see him again and so that’s what quietly happen he went down stairs as she followed him and outside she kissed him on the cheek. Her mother behind pulled her inside. “What are you doing?” Go in your room now” Theirs going to be no talking on the phone unless I’m there. She went in her room not because she told her but because she wanted too. She wasn’t punished but somehow life had to punish her as beautiful as she was. Her mother could be so jealous. She thought so but as always as someone could do know them selves because they are not the other viewer. The beholder is the one that knows if he is beautiful. Yet she knows she’s gorgeous but she was scared that didn’t appear so. Her insecurity was probably going to be what would poison her. If she did not remove that out of her life but in her lifestyle of what was fear and what was not. It seemed as if the world would not agree if so where this beautiful creature came from? Her heart was more gorgeous then anyone else believable it was but it was true? God was the only one that she believed in but not having him would be a loss to her lovely heart. IT was over” as something her Dad would say to her when he was there but she was a women to stand up for herself infront of even her paretts. It was not over. The next day she spoke to him. She remembered his number. There she was the library speakin to her love. He was seeming a bit odd why he could not be with her now but she could not tell him how worried her mother was after learving her husband it seemed as if she was worried about her daughter being with a man for some reason yet though she seemed to not understand she still tried to understand. Poor Jade freedom could not be hers in this time zone. She could not be loved by her mother she felt so all she wanted to be was love with the man. She was wearing a blue tankp dress with her to the right side of her face with some white sandles that shined when the light came across. It had made her feet appear brown and her toes seemed as if their was snow left on their. She smiled as she spoke to him by the library. She encircled the library like that of a dance. Now she had lied telling her mother that she was of to the library for her class exam which was tomorrow. Really she never took her schoolwork serious. She was quite lazy yet she wasn’t just passionate about Scott who would not stay for her so long or would. She could not give her heart entirely to him though she felt like he was her last. She would write momentously poetry of him like he was Romeo in her life. “Oh Romeo so inlove” as she would press the journal upon her chest squezzing it with a cheerful smile. What if her mother had saw? She had thought but behind her in her house the mother was yelling. My child what is she really doing? Is she really doing her school work or lying as she pranced with her white kitchen outfit. Wear is she?” she better come bring her butt back here now!. I miss my usband19

She went in her room with the coffee she was making and saw a picture in the corner of the family on top of the boxed that were bellow it as tear melted down. She wiped it gently as she place the coffee on the dresser table at the right of her and laid her body down. She turned on the cable T.V. and watched good times as she watched a family. Tears slowly began to cascade which made her a little angry20