He sits, smoking at a smooth, soothing pace, his lips, sliding into a slow smile, subtly suggesting a more sensual side. Each eye is a dark mirror, maintaining a magical hold on my mind, every moody movement seeming a sign.1
He is ignorant of the image he innocently invites us to see, steady, sensual shoulders supporting a face sweeter than suits one of this sort. He looks lonely, at least to me, but the lesson this time is that this neglected treasure was never meant to be mine.
A contest entry
- ALLITERATION contest by Claudia Norman.
175 points, ended May 10, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Not just good alliteration but very pretty prose.
I especially like "every moody movement seeming a sign."
You have made me want to know your character. He sounds complex...interesting...
Claudia


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Interesting
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Such a lovely use of words! This really flows nicely and easily builds a picture of the person and the emotions of the narrator.


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Wonderful alliteration. I like the description of your character and the deep and lonely emotions you described. This flowed well and had a good pace. I really enjoyed it.!
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Thanks! I guess even silly common things feel mysterious when somebody you'd like to know better is doing them.
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Wow, this seems more of a tongue twister than alliteration.
I like it either way.
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Thank you
, alliteration really isn't my strong suit so I resorted to my cheap sense of melody and rhyme lol.
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