My Love <3

When the water stops its running,
I know all will be okay,
But there is no end in sight,
These tears are here to stay.1

Why you kiss me on the lips,
I know the pain will end,
For when you are gone my heart is torn,
You are my love and my best friend.2

WHen you pull me close to you,
I'll know that all is well,
Finally able to kiss you soft,
And to free my heart from hell.3

When you take my hand in yours,
I'll know you are here for good,
ALl lost hope will be restored,
We'll be together as we should.

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1 - 9 of 9

  • J-Dus
    September 14

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    When you take my hand in yours,
    I'll know you are here for good,
    ALl lost hope will be restored,
    We'll be together as we should.

    Favorite part write there! The word choice in it really adds something (not sure what that something is, but it is something!). This was another very well done piece!


  • ChristieLove
    August 23

    Edit | Reply
    WHen you pull me close to you,
    I'll know that all is well,
    Finally able to kiss you soft,
    And to free my heart from hell.

    I think that was one of the most powerful stanzas, it was just raw emotion, and writen virtually flawlessly. I honestly enjoyed reading this, it was sad, but at the same time gave a feel of relief as you pointed out what would be.

  • Non Paix
    June 13
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    Wow...Written amazing, again...great flow, and wonderful rhymes, they do not seem forced, as many people's tend to. And it was noticeably writen from the heart, where it should be!! Keep up the amazing work!!!!!

  • poium poaupoiujj
    May 4
    Edit | Reply
    Wow...
    "WHen you pull me close to you,
    I'll know that all is well,
    Finally able to kiss you soft,
    And to free my heart from hell."

    That had a LOT of raw emotion...and it was amazing "Free my heart from hell" that line was really powerful...I could really get how you felt when you wrote this...Absolutely beautiful.


  • Tiger-Lily
    March 20

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    I didn't get teh stanza 2's first line. Should it be a question?

    Man, best-friend love is AWKWARD. On another note, someone becoming both is great, cause then it isn't all lust there.

    - HT

    • Non Paix
      March 25

      Edit | Reply
      I think it was a typo, Tiger-Lily....she most likely meant "when" and was just typing quick, lol...I do it all the time...dumb typos suck xD


      • Tiger-Lily
        March 25
        Edit | Reply
        Yeah, couldn't agree more. It breaks the flow of an otherwise smooth piece.

  • LucidLakes
    March 19

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    This is a very nice, sweet poem. The rhyming is superb. It's just so sweet and simple.

    Nice job.


  • easily amused
    March 18
    Edit | Reply
    thats so beautiful!

1 - 9 of 9