Steps

1

My current status sucks. I’m Sarah Hope Love-no kidding. Blue-green eyes, pearl-blond hair, chalk-white skin, sixteen, and a height of five-foot. This is my current status:2

Parents: Divorced, both remarried; step-dad, Ben, and dad, Jack, abusive drunks; mom, Betty, and step-mom, Samantha, try to keep them off me.3

Siblings: Oldest Brother, Jim, away at war; Oldest Sister, Beth, at college; Youngest Brother, Seth, lives with dad and step-mom; and Youngest Sister, Kim, lives with mom and step-dad.4

School: Top student, popular, pitied, have to have daily counseling, and go to a Catholic School that acts as a college as well. It has four extra years and starts in kindergarten.5

Friends: None, too feared.6

Me: Really messed up. Go from mom to dad’s house each week-26 weeks per parent; have this weird, psychic power that goes off if I get too angry or hurt or sad.7

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Chapter 19

I wake up Monday morning. August twelfth, first day of school. I’m a junior. Finally. I get out of bed and go over to the closet to find my uniform. Today, I am at mom and Ben’s house. Oh joy. You see, dad only became a drunk after mom left him. But Ben has been a drunk since eighteen. He’s thirty-one. So is dad. And mom left him nine years ago. So you see my troubles. I take out the plaid skirt, white shirt, black dress shoes, and knee-high stockings that are my uniform. I take a shower and change. I blow-dry my hair and put it into a ponytail. I put on my make-up and go back into my room just as someone bangs on the door.10

“Sarah, you get your ass downstairs right now! You are not going to be late for school!” Ben shouts through the door. I roll my eyes and open the door to see Ben standing there, once again on a hangover. I grab my bag and push past him. I walk down the stairs and see mom and twelve-year-old Kim standing by the doorway.11

“Sarah, do you think you could drive Kim to school? I don’t have the time today. I’m just so busy trying to set everything up for this party.” Mom says. I look at her with pity and sigh.12

“Sure mom. Whenever you need me, I’m just a phone call away. And besides, I’m with you this week.” I grab Kim’s hand and lead her outside. We get in my car and I start the engine. We reach the school in ten minutes. We get out of the car and start walking towards the buildings. There’s one for each school-Elementary, Middle, High, and college. I kneel down next to Kim when we reach the front of the Middle school so that we’re eyelevel.13

“Don’t worry Kim. You’ll just have new teachers and different schedules. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Have fun.” I kiss her on the forehead and stand up again. I walk to my school as soon as Kim goes inside. I walk into the school and all of the guys gasp audibly. The freshmen through the seniors. I’m one…sorry. I’m the most beautiful girl in the school. I walk down the halls and to my locker. I open my locker door and put my books inside. I look into the mirror that’s on every locker door on the inside and see Erik Denver. Erik is the star quarterback on our team. He has golden-blond hair, bright blue eyes that dazzle and look as innocent as a child’s, a strong build up top and medium build below, hottest guy in school, and five-foot-ten. I pull out the books I’ll need for the first half of the school day. I close my locker door and turn around.14

“No. I’m getting sick and tired of going through this Erik. No. I won’t go out with you.” I say flat out when Erik opens his mouth.15

“Please Sarah. One date. Go to homecoming with me. I beg of you, go to the homecoming dance with me. Please.” Erik begs. I shake my head and walk away. It takes a lot more than that to win my heart and Erik knows that. I reach homeroom and take a seat near the back. Chase Carter comes in and sits right next to me. He looks like a mini Erik. That’s odd. He’s on the football team too and most people stay away from me. Oh, wait. I forgot. He’s just another boy.16

“Hey Sarah. Listen, Erik really wants you to go to homecoming with him. Won’t you give him a chance? Just one? He’s been complaining about how you keep rejecting him, all summer, to me and I’m getting sick of it. Please Sarah.” Chase begs. I sigh and lay my head on the table. What is it with Erik wanting to go out with me? At times he hates me, but at other times he wants to make-out and have sex with me. It gets annoying, these thought changes. I look back up at Chase.17

“I might as well just be a mute with the way you guys listen. Now listen to this. No. No. No. Non. Nee. Ei. Hindi. Wala. Nej. Nein. Tidak. Het. Nu. What did I just tell you in twelve different languages?” I demand. 18

“Uh…no?” He guesses.19

“Right on the dot. Now go away.” I push him out of the chair and he falls on the floor. Chase stands up and limps to the front, glaring at anyone who’s laughing. The bell rings and the teacher comes in. Time to enjoy another year of pity and counseling. Oh joy.20

The bell rings and I get up from the cool table. Now it’s time to get my things for the second half of school. I go to my locker and when I open the door a rose falls out. But not just any red rose. A white rose. I pick it up and breathe in its scent. I sigh contentedly. I love white roses. I put my books on the bottom shelf and take my other books from the top shelf. With them comes a letter. I set the rose in my hair and take the letter. I unfold it and start reading.21

Dear Ms. Love, 22

I’ve seen you and admired you for the past two years. Keep this rose as a token of my affection. I’ll be watching you and I hope that you’ll find me. 23

Love,24

Your secret admirer.25

A secret admirer. Secret being the key word. Most guys just practically scream their love for me. A few have actually done that. But a secret admirer. Oh, it’s so romantic! I close my locker door and take the rose out of my hair. I sniff it again and start walking. I run into someone and drop the rose. Before it can even touch the floor, the person’s hand has it and is putting it in my hair.26

“Thank you. And I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” I say absentmindedly.27

“That’s alright. Every young man or woman must fall in love some time, must they not?” A musical voice answers me. It’s like liquid velvet and solid music. I look up to stare into electric-blue eyes that are raised slightly above me. I just come to notice that someone has me by the arm. When trailing up the arm of the person holding me, I find out that it’s the guy I ran into. I examine his face and my heart melts. Black as night hair, the eyes have a hint of coldness to them, the height of about six-foot-two, a crooked smile, and full lips. Everyone is standing still, surprised by me, Ms. Popular, interacting with someone outside my group.28

“I’m Ray. Do you want me to accompany you to History?” Ray asks me.29

“How do you know I have History next?” I ask, shocked. No one knows my personal schedule.30

“Because I sit right behind you. Just like last year. I’m one of the few that are given insight on their schedules and all that.” Ray says. I look Ray up and down. He’s gothic. Wait a minute. Insight on his schedule and all that? But only the rich have that privilege. And there’s only one rich family around here…then it clicks.31

“You’re last name is Jackson, isn’t it?” I ask. Ray nods and everyone gasps. The Jackson’s don’t talk to anybody outside of their family. This is a first. Ray brushes his hand down my face and I suck in a shocked breath. His hand is ice-cold. Ray finally lets go of my arm and that hand drops down to mine. He takes it and starts walking me to History.32

Why would Ray Jackson choose to talk to me, of all people, when I’m just one of those stuck up preps and he’s a silent Goth? I question myself. Ray laughs lightly. I stare at him in wonder. He is hot, but still. Goths stick to Goths, preps to preps, skaters to skaters, and so on and so forth. We reach the History classroom and Ray leads me to the back. He sits down and I sit in the seat right in front of him. All of a sudden, Ray stands up and goes to the teacher, Mr. Varner. A balding African-American in his late forties and about my height.33

“Mr. Varner, I was wondering whether I could move up a seat. I have trouble seeing the board and I need help with my work. I was thinking that maybe Sarah could help me.” Ray says. My mouth drops open and my eyes widen in disbelief. I heard that Ray is pretty smart. And he says that he can’t see the board and needs my help on his work?! That’s not right. Mr. Varner agrees and Ray comes back. He grabs his stuff and sits down right next to me. Before I can stop myself, I blurt out this question, “You need my help?” Incredulously is how I say this. Ray gives me the freakiest look on Earth. Why freakiest? Because it’s the look that both Ben and dad give me. I look at the desk top as tears form in my eyes.34

“Sorry. It just seems unlikely that you would need my help. I heard that you were another top student.” I mumble. A hand is run through my hair and I glance up to see Ray giving me a smile and an apologetic look.35

“I’m sorry. Obviously looks like the one I gave you bother you, right?” He asks gently. I nod and press my palms to my eyes in an attempt to get rid of the tears. Good thing I don’t wear mascara. I think. Ray chuckles fondly and I stare at him again. Erik walks into the room and glances over. He sees me and beams, but then he notices Ray. He looks between me and Ray. After shaking his head, Erik comes over to us.36

“What are you two doing? Together I mean.” Erik asks with a fake smile.37

“Apparently we’re to be History partners, right?” I say uncertainly. Ray nods and continues reading. I lean over eagerly to see what book it is. Ray snaps it shut and looks at me. I lean back and look at the desktop again.38

“Sorry. I like to read so I was wondering-”39

“It’s Lord of the Flies. It’s really interesting. Would you like to borrow it when I’m finished?” Ray asks. My head shoots up and I look at him hopefully.40

“Oh, can I? I really love books and I’ve heard about Lord of the Flies and it sounds really good!” I ramble off. Ray laughs at me and shakes his head.41

“You’re the first girl I’ve met that talks more about books than clothes. You look just the opposite.” Ray says, looking me up and down. I blush, glad that he gave me a compliment. The bell rings and I bring my eyes to the front. Hey, I just realized something. No one’s pitied me yet. Hallelujah. I could go a year without the usual pity, even though I have to go to counseling after last period. I sigh heavily and continue writing notes. Ray looks at me, shocked for some reason and somewhat saddened.42

The last bell rings and I leave the classroom. Now, to head to the counselor’s office. I reach the door and knock. When it’s opened I see, not only the tall, black woman that I know as the counselor, but Ray as well. I walk in and Mrs. K closes the door.43

“Sarah, Ray’s going to be my assistant this year. I believe you know him?” Mrs. K informs me. I feel the color drain from my face. Ray’s going to be Mrs. K’s assistant? Oh no! I don’t want him to find out that both of my dads are drunks and that they both beat me when they’re angry. I moan in my head. Ray looks at me with uncertainty. Mrs. K sits down and gestures for me to sit down too. I set my bag down as I take the chair across from her desk.44

“So, how was your summer, Sarah?” She asks me with a smile. I think back. Well, the beginning was just fine, Mrs. K. But when it got more into the summer Ben got drunk more often and so did dad. And every single night they were angry and took it out on me. I have some scars if you want to see them. I thought about telling her the whole truth but knew against doing so.45

“Quieter than usual. Dad and Ben weren’t as bad as last summer.” I say in a small voice. I hate lying. Even if I told part of the truth. It’s just so wrong. Ray looks at me with sorrow and pity mixed in his face. Mrs. K nods.46

“That’s good. And how have you been?” She asks, knowing that I knew that she meant if I had blown anything up.47

“Good. No disasters yet. Hopefully I don’t get too stressed out during final exams again.” I laugh nervously. Last year I accidentally blew up the exam hall. The staff told the students that it was a harmless gas leak but then confronted me later. I was with mom and Ben that week too. So of course, when Ben found out, I was beaten so bad that I spent half the night crying. Of course I had told Mrs. K and was in tears at the end of the session. The principal wanted to call the state police but I wouldn’t let him. Ben had threatened to come back and kill all of us if I told. But of course I didn’t tell Mr. J that. Mrs. K smiles at me fondly.48

“Have you been taking notes, Ray? I know how this can help you become a psychiatrist.” Mrs. K turns around and smiles at Ray. The blood drains from my face as I see the clipboard in Ray’s hands.49

“Yes. I have been taking notes.” Ray replies. I stand up and grab my bag.50

“Mrs. K, we’ll have to cut today short. I drove my little sister here and she’s the only one in my family who doesn’t know about these sessions. I’m sorry.” I dash out of the room and outside. I spot Kim right away.51

“Kim! C’mon, we gotta go!” I call over to her. Kim runs over and stops right in front of me. If I haven’t mentioned before, Kim is like a mini-me with red hair and green eyes. 52

“Sarah! Wait, you dropped this!” I hear Ray’s voice ring across the yard. I turn around to see him holding the white rose. When I put my hand in my hair I realize that it had fallen out. Ray comes over and tucks it back into my hair. I touch it lightly.53

“You should be more careful with this. I have the feeling that you very much like it.” Ray smiles his crooked smile.54

“Yes. I love white roses and I got it from a secret admirer. First secret. I guess I’ll see you in History tomorrow. Goodbye Ray.” I get into my car and start the engine. Kim stares at me in awe.55

“What?” I ask.56

“That was Ray Jackson. His little sister is in my Math class and she’s horrible. Stuck up and snooty and the teacher’s pet. She’s a snitch too.” Kim informs me.57

“I don’t think they’re all the same. Ray was the one that talked to me first. I ran into him while smelling the rose, told him sorry. If he didn’t want to talk with me, he would’ve just walked away. He said that it was alright and that every young man and woman must fall in love some time, must they not? He told me his name and asked if I wanted him to accompany me to History. I asked him how he knew I had History, he said that he had it as well and sits right behind me and that he got a look at everything, and it clicked. Asked him his last name, he gave it to me, everyone was shocked that he was talking to me, and we went to History.” I reply simply. 58

We reach the house and get out of the car. Kim runs ahead of me as I check the mailbox. I pull out five letters and look through them as I walk up the drive. I enter the house and kick the door shut. I set the letters down on the side table and head into the kitchen. My night to make dinner. I turn on the radio and The Unforgiven by Metallica comes on. I dance around the kitchen while getting ingredients out for Ratatouille. My family loves it the way I cook. Well, everyone except Ben. Speak of the devil. I think as he walks into the kitchen. I start arranging the dish.59

“What are you making?” He demands.60

“Ratatouille.” I say simply.61

“You know that I’m allergic. Why didn’t you remem-”62

“I’m making you eggplant casserole. No need to get worked up. If I had my way, you’d be eating the same thing as the rest of us.” I tell him as placidly as possible. Ben knows that I can’t forget to make him something without him hurting me. Ben makes a sound and leaves the room.63

An hour later I’m setting the plates on the table. Three plates. I’m not eating. As usual.64

“Dinner’s ready!” I call up the stairs once I get into the living room. Ben, mom, and Kim come down the stairs. I walk over to the stairs and start up.65

“You’re not going to eat?” Mom asks.66

“No. I’ll probably get something later. I have some stuff to do.” I walk up to my room and go in. I drop down on the bed and kick my shoes off. I pull off my stockings and change into black sweats and tank. I lie down on my bed and pick up my cell phone. I haven’t texted Jim in a while.67

hey Jim. how r u? its bin 2 long. hows the war goin? im fine. Bens bin bad. hes gotten worse. so has dad. they get drunk mor of10 now. they beat me mor of10 2. win r u comin back? i mis u. Sarah.68

I send the text and close my eyes. It might be awhile before Jim texts back. I sigh heavily and sit up. I grab my laptop and start typing up a list of books that I have to get.69

Lord Of The Flies 70

The Outsiders 71

That was Then, This is Now 72

Julie of the Wolves73

Uglies74

Pretties75

Specials76

Extras77

Lord of the Rings78

The Giver79

Messenger80

Gathering Blue81

So far, this is my book list. There are more that I’ve heard of, I just need the titles for them. A knock comes to my door.82

“Come in!” I call, thinking that it’s mom or Kim. When the door opens the footsteps sound heavier than a girl’s but lighter than a man’s. Who could that be? I wonder. I hear a familiar chuckle and turn around to find Ray right behind me. He reads my list.83

“These are all the books you want? I could get those for you easily.” Ray tells me. I shake my head and turn around completely to find Ray close. Usually too close for me, but not now. Not close enough.84

“No. I want to get those books for myself. I don’t like people to spend money on me. Never have, never will.” I tell him. Ray shakes his head and starts looking around my room. He finds a necklace on my dresser and picks it up. As he’s examining it I realize that it’s the one I got from my grandmother. She passed away a few years ago and left it to me in her will because I told her that I liked it. It’s a pure silver chain and heart with rubies inlaid in the heart. It broke last year when I was beaten once. I stand up and go over to Ray. I take the necklace out of his hands and put it in my treasure box.85

“You’re not to touch that. It was my grandmother’s. She passed away when I was ten. It broke last year when Ben and I were fighting.” I explain. Ray nods and takes my hand. 86

“Ray, what are you doing here? How’d you find out where my house was?” I ask.87

“My father has some business with you-”88

“Ben isn’t my father. He’s my stepfather and I hate him and he hates me.” I cut him off sharply. Ray looks at me.89

“Why don’t you tell your mother that? I’m sure she’d understand.” Ray suggests.90

“I’ve tried. But Ben’s always around when I try and he keeps her busy so he can deal with me without her noticing.” I sigh. Ray squeezes my hand and pulls me over to my own bed.91

“How does he deal with you?” Ray asks.92

“You’ll find out sooner or later since you’re Mrs. K’s assistant.” I tell him. Ray shakes his head and sits down. I sit down next to him. Ray runs his hand through my hair and I laugh.93

“How many times a day do you intend to do that?” I inquire. Ray leans in until his mouth his right at my ear.94

“As many times as I want to.” He breathes. The breath coming from Ray’s mouth tickles my ear and sends chills down my back. Ray runs his hand along my face, brushing color into it. He runs his hand down my arm and pauses momentarily. Ray runs his fingertips over one spot. I look down and realize the he’s found my biggest scar. Ben actually cut me with a shard of glass from a wine bottle. You see, Ben isn’t like any old drunk. He goes for the rich stuff and the brand name stuff. Wines, champagnes, Vodka, Gin, stuff like that. I grab Ray’s hand and hold it between my own, trying to prevent him from examining my arm further.95

“Where did you get that?” Ray asks. I swallow. Should I tell him or should I lie? I don’t want to lie, but I don’t want him to know the truth either. A small debate goes on in my head as I make the final decision.96

“I cut myself on accident. Fell into a vase. It wasn’t bad enough that I had to get stitches though.” I tell him. I flinch. Like I said before, I HATE lying because it’s wrong. Ray looks at me sympathetically.97

“You don’t have to lie to me. I can help you.” Ray tells me gently. I give him a half smile.98

“It takes a lot more than that for someone to gain my trust.” I tell him. Ray smiles and leans in closer. He breathes in and comes so that I can stare directly into his eyes since he is fourteen inches taller than me.99

“I want to do something to show you how much you can trust me. Trust me to do this.” Ray says. I stare at him curiously. Ray leans in until our lips make contact. Things are transferred into my mind. A little boy cowering in the corner, afraid of his shouting father. A kid Kim’s age shouting at his father and then getting smacked. A new teenager running, just running away from pain. And a sixteen-year-old boy arguing with his father and getting hit. Ray pulls away and I stare at him.100

“You’ve gone through all of that?” I ask him. Ray nods and looks away. I can see that those memories pain him. I pull a ‘dangerous’ stunt and pull myself onto his lap. I hug Ray tightly, letting him know that it’s alright. Ray hugs me back.101

“Do you trust me?” Ray asks. I nod and take a deep breath. I start telling Ray the whole story. Starting from when dad first started drinking. By the time I’m done, I’m in tears. Ray holds me against him tightly, rubbing my back in a soothing motion.102

“Alright. You trusted me, and now it’s time that I trust you. I’m not what you think I am.” Ray says.103

“Neither am I.” I say through my tears.104

“On the count of three then. One…two…three.” Ray says. “I’m a vampire.”105

“I’m a mental psychopath.” We tell each other. I stare at Ray in wonder as he does the same thing. “Well. That’s…interesting. A…vampire. Okay. I’m not going to…freak myself out. If I do, the house will explode.” I say. Ray caresses my face with his hand and the color comes flooding back. Just then, the radio comes on. Poison by Alice Cooper.106

Your cruel device107

Your blood like ice108

One look could kill109

My pain, your thrill110

I want to love you, but I better not touch (Don't touch)111

I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop112

I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)113

I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison114

You're poison runnin'thru my veins115

You're poison, I don't want to break these chains116

Your mouth, so hot117

Your web, I'm caught118

Your skin, so wet119

Black lace on sweat120

I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (And pins)121

I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name122

Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin (Deep in)123

I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison124

You're poison runnin'thru my veins125

You're poison, I don't want to break these chains126

Poison127

One look could kill128

My pain, your thrill129

I want to love you, but I better not touch (Don't touch)130

I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop131

I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)132

I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison133

You're poison runnin'thru my veins134

You're poison, I don't want to break these chains135

Poison136

I want to love you, but I better not touch (Don't touch)137

I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop138

I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)139

I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison, yeah140

I don't want to break these chains 141

Poison, oh no142

Runnin'deep inside my veins, Burnin'deep inside my veins143

It's poison, I don't want to break these chains 144

I stare at the radio in astonishment. I don’t know what to think. Well, except that that song could’ve gone for either of us. Ray starts laughing.145

“Of all songs to come one, that one does!” He exclaims. I start laughing too. I hear footsteps come up the stairs and slide off of Ray’s lap while continuing to laugh. Kim comes in looking scared. There’s a red mark on her cheek. I stop laughing immediately and jump up. I go over to Kim and she grabs onto my waist.146

“What happened?” I ask her gently.147

“B-Ben s-slapped m-me.” She sobs. I pat her head and hug her tight. Ben has never dared to touch Kim because mom always keeps her eye on Kim. Ray stands up and comes over.148

“Why would your mother allow that?” Ray asks me.149

“I don’t think she did. Either she’s asleep, too busy to notice, or gone. Mom would never let Ben hurt us. She just never finds out if he does or not.” I explain. I hand Kim over to Ray and exit the room. I go downstairs to see Ben and a bunch of his friends. I push my way over to Ben.150

“You hit her. Why?” I demand. Ben sneers at me.151

“Well if the little bitch hadn’t tried to get in the way of my fun, nothing would’ve happened to her.” He drawls.152

“Don’t you dare call my little sister that. She is one of the sweetest people I know.” I growl at him. His friends form a circle around me and Ben. Out of the corner of my eye I see Ray and Kim standing on the stairs. Ben’s brown hair hides his blue eyes and no doubt the bags underneath them.153

“Well she is a brat.” He hisses.154

“At times Kim can be like that. She gets it from me. But at least Kim and I aren’t retarded drunks.” I retort. Ben takes a swing at me and misses. I punch him straight in the face and he’s knocked to the ground.155

“That’s what you get for messing with me and my sister. Touch her ever again and I swear that I will send you to your grave screaming.” I threaten. I spin around and go back up the stairs.156

“C’mon Kim. You can stay in my room tonight.” I tell her. I take Kim’s hand and lead her back to my room. After glancing back at someone, Ray follows us. I sit down on the bed and hold Kim close.157

“Shhh. It’s okay Kim. I’m not going to let him hurt you. It’s okay.” I soothe her. Kim falls asleep and I do the same shortly afterward.158

Ray’s POV159

I can’t believe it. This girl is even more different than I thought. She’s strange. She reads, protects, works hard, and can fight. But she has an odd name. Sarah Hope Love. Weird. Father comes up and in through the open doorway of Sarah’s room.160

“It’s time to go Ray. Come on.” He says. I sigh and stand up. I follow him out of the room and then outside.161

“Father, can’t we do anything? Those girls don’t deserve to be treated like that.” I inquire. Father sighs and shakes his head.162

“The older one, yes. The younger, no. I came here tonight to make a proposition with her parents.” Father tells me.163

“Then you’ll have to go to another house as well. Her parents are divorced.” I explain. Father nods.164

“I know. The mother thinks that it’s a good idea. So does her stepmother. Her father and stepfather just want to get rid of her. It’s sad.” Father sighs. 165

“So, what’s this proposition?” I ask. Father looks at me.166

“That she come and live with us under the condition that the two of you will marry.” Father explains. I stop dead in my tracks.167

“What’s wrong son? Wouldn’t you like that?” He asks.168

“Yes but…this is wrong! Sarah should be able to choose whether she wants to marry me or not!” I say angrily. This isn’t the eighteenth century! Girls just aren’t married off like this and done with it. Done without the girl’s opinion and choice.169

“Please Ray, be reasonable. It’s the only way to keep her safe.” Father explains. I laugh scornfully at that.170

“Yeah. Getting married to a vampire is a whole lot safer than being beaten by your father and stepfather and making things explode!” I say sarcastically.171

“Son, just consider. She’ll be safe from all danger.” Father implores.172

“What about the wedding night? Will that be having Sarah safe from all danger?” I demand. Father gives me a dumbstruck look.173

“You hadn’t even thought about that. Out of all the risks concerning human and vampire marriage you forget the riskiest one!” I exclaim angrily.174

“Son, you know that I have a lot on my mind right now. I can’t think of every single little consequence of inviting this human girl to be part of our family.” Father hisses at me.175

“But father, you’re the one in our family that’s suppose to see these things. Inviting Sarah into our family would be like inviting her to an afternoon tea with the devil! And that’s just one afternoon!” I throw my hands in the air in exasperation. Father gives me a look and starts walking again. I go after him.176

“Father, why didn’t you see this? Why didn’t you realize how much dang-”177

“I did realize the danger of inviting Sarah Love to live with us and become part of the family. But the only danger there is of her being protected by you is that you might turn her.” Father scowls at me.178

“No. There are plenty of dangers of Sarah being with me. She could get killed, could get bones broken, could get hurt, could lose blood, could be knocked unconscious, and worst of all, I might get her pregnant. You know how difficult it is because the same thing happened with you and mother. But when you turned her she was just fine having Caitlyn.” I use an accusing voice. Father should have known that this would be dangerous. We reach Jackson Manor and go inside. I walk up the stairs and into my room. I slam the door shut and kick my bedpost. It’s so unfair for Sarah to be treated like she’s a worthless being, a worthless servant! Oh, but she’s so much more. Sarah is like a goddess and so magnificent. I moan in my head. I sit down on the bed and lay my head in my hands. I moan quietly at the idea of putting Sarah into danger. And I just wanted to be her secret admirer for now. But then there was the counseling, and the party, and I kissed her! Oh god. I put her in danger the moment I saw her, the moment I told my father about how beautiful she was, the moment I started watching her, the moment I put the rose in her locker, the moment I chose to switch my seat so as to sit next to her, the moment I kissed her. I sigh heavily and lay back onto the bed. I cover my head with the pillows and attempt to suffocate myself even though that’s impossible. The door opens and closes.179

“You’re expected to knock Caitlyn. Don’t forget your manners so close to the day that Sarah’s coming here.” I chide in a muffled voice. Caitlyn sits on the bed and pulls the pillows away from my head.180

“Trying to kill yourself again, brother dear?” Caitlyn says as sweetly as possible. She has to refer to me as ‘brother dear’ until she turns fourteen. Two more years of this. 181

“Yes. Having Sarah come here is very dangerous. I don’t want her in danger.” I sigh.182

“Or-in other words my dear brother-you don’t want your goddess, your love, your princess, your angel, your summer flower, your sweetheart, to be in danger. Am I correct?” Caitlyn inquires.183

“Yes. But, to be politically correct, she’s so much more. A beauty, an angel, a goddess, an exotic flower, an exotic scent, a beautiful foreigner, the one blue patch in a cloudy sky, the hint of hope in a hopeless heart, the hint of love in a dead soul, the warmth in a corpse, the beating heart of a zombie, the blood given to those who need it, the life in a lifeless body, the spark that starts a fire in the middle of winter, the splash that puts out a summer fire, the sparkle in the eye of a person who has gotten their hope again. She’s everything. She’s too precious to put into danger.” I tell Caitlyn. She messes up my hair.184

“Don’t worry brother dear. It’ll be fine. Your fiancé won’t get hurt. I promise. Goodnight.” Caitlyn stands up and leaves. After the door closes I throw a pillow at it. There are at least three dozen pillows in this bed. I look around at the walls and the pictures there. Mostly of my family. My family is all the same except for eyes. Mother and I have electric-blue eyes while father and Caitlyn have crimson eyes. Since I’m half human I have mother’s eyes and she still has her eyes since she was turned and not born a vampire. Our heights are different too obviously. I set myself in the middle of the pillows and pull the blankets over myself after stripping down to my boxers. Soon enough I’ll be sharing this bed with Sarah. I hope she’ll like it. I hope that her earlier thoughts were true. I fall asleep.185

-------------------------------------------------------------------186

Chapter 2187

I wake up in the morning feeling drained. I notice that Kim’s gone and my door’s open. I always close my door. Kim must’ve forgotten to close it. I think. I get off of my bed and step down. I take two steps and trip over something.188

“Ow!” I cry out. Mom comes running into the room as I pick myself up.189

“Are you okay?” She asks anxiously. I nod and look down to see a cardboard box. I look around my room to see suitcases and other cardboard boxes. I look back at mom.190

“Are we moving?” I ask in confusion. Mom swore that we were never going to move out of West Nile unless something happened.191

“We aren’t. You are Sarah.” Mom tells me. I stare at her as she goes over to my closet.192

“Why? Mom, what’s going on?” I ask, trying desperately to grasp the concept of me moving.193

“You’re moving in with the Jackson family so that you won’t have to deal with your father and Ben anymore. You’re also engaged to their son now.” Mom tells me.194

“Really? How long have you known that I’ve needed to get away from dad and Ben?” I ask.195

“A little while. I just now found a way to intervene.” Mom says. On the inside I am screaming with joy. Not only do I get to leave, but I’m also engaged to Ray! Yes! Hallelujah! I’m going to marry Ray! I’m going to be rid of the drunks! Yes! I’m sorry Kim and Seth but you’re going to have to be on your own. Praise the lord! I’m practically free! I scream in my head. Mom closes my suitcases and leaves, telling me to change and that school was closed. Well that’s not a surprise. Every week we always get a day off. But the day is always a surprise. Like the day right before a major exam, the day after holiday break, two days before holiday break. Some kids even get lucky enough to get their birthdays off. I change into blue jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt. I put on my tennis shoes and go downstairs.196

“Mom, when am I leaving?” I ask. She glances at the wall clock while still cooking for Ben and Kim.197

“Half an hour. We’re going to miss you.” Mom tells me. I interpret ‘we’re going to miss you’ as Kim and mom are going to miss me.198

“Where’s the bitch going?” Ben demands. I glare at him and open my mouth but mom beats me to it.199

“She’s going to go live with an old family friend. And she’s going to marry his son. And don’t call my daughter that Ben. You wouldn’t call Sarah a bitch if she were your own child.” Mom says sternly. Ben shuts up and continues reading the paper. I smile gleefully. Mom got him there. I go back up to my room and look through my stuff. Everything could easily be packed into bags in less than twenty minutes. I start unpacking and repacking my stuff.200

Sixteen minutes later I have everything in four suitcases, three backpacks, and one messenger bag. I head back downstairs with everything and drop it off by the door. Mom and Kim left ten minutes ago so it’s just me and Ben in the house. Ben comes out of the kitchen as I sit down by the window.201

“So, you’re leaving?” He demands.202

“Yep.” I reply.203

“Why are you leaving?” He demands again.204

“None of your business.” I say softly. Ben comes over and glares at me.205

“It is my business. You’ve lived under this roof since I married your mother. You have to tell me.” Ben says triumphantly.206

“No, I don’t have to tell you. You aren’t my father.” I say.207

“But I’m your stepfather.” Ben growls.208

“Who’s been a retarded drunk since the age of eighteen. Retarded because you started drinking before you came the age and because you get too drunk every night.” I explain. Ben raises his hand just as a car pulls up the driveway. He lowers it and looks out the window suspiciously, probably thinking that it’s cops in disguise. Ray and an older man that looks almost like him get out of the car. I squeal and Ben stares at me like I’m crazy. A knock comes to the door and Ben gets it. Ray and his dad come in. Ray smiles at me warmly as his dad shakes Ben’s hand.209

“I’m sure that you remember that your eldest stepdaughter will be coming to live with me and my family?” Ray’s dad says.210

“No, I don’t remember that at all. In fact, my wife and this ingrate just told me this morning.” Ben jabs his thumb at me and I scowl at him. 211

“Well if you hadn’t gotten drunk last night when Ray’s father told you, then you would already know and probably be planning another party that would work my mother’s ass off trying to prepare for it. You treat her and my sister and me like we’re nothing but maids that are to be taken advantage of. I still wonder why my mother even married you. It would be best if she just divorced you. She’s known about how you treat me for a while now and I didn’t even know that. So you’d better not blame me or my mother for anything. If someone should be complaining it should be me. I’m the one that has to leave and I just found out half an hour ago!” I exclaim angrily, getting out of my chair. I walk over to Ben and glare at him. Ben stares me down.212

“You’d better stand down before you get hurt.” Ben growls.213

“Go ahead. I don’t care. I’m going to be leaving anyways. And I’m engaged to the best guy on Earth, even if it is an arranged marriage. I’m happier than I’ll ever be and you hitting me won’t ruin it. You’ve given me scars and bruises for the past six years. I’m used to it by now. You slapping me won’t make any damn difference, because I’m leaving and never coming back unless it’s to kill you. Here’s your final warning. If you dare to harm my sister or mother I will hunt you down. Nothing except your death will stop me from hunting. I could be dead but still come after you as a spirit. God would understand perfectly well that I was only protecting loved ones and he’ll welcome me with open arms. You’ve been warned.” I turn around and pick up some of my bags. Ray picks up the rest. We walk outside and to the car. Ray and I drop my stuff into the trunk and shut it. I slide into the backseat and Ray follows me.214

“So you think that I’m the best guy on Earth?” Ray inquires.215

“Yes. Except the best guy on Earth is Erik. You’re the best being on Earth. And so much more than I could ever explain.” I tell him. I sit back against the seat and stare out the window. Ray’s dad gets in the car and starts the engine. We pull out of the drive and down the street. I wonder what it’ll be like living with vampires. I just add more danger to the family because I’m a frickin’ bomb just waiting to go off at the slightest too much emotion. I sigh. God this will be difficult. Ray chuckles and I look at him.216

“Okay. You’re hiding something. So, in addition to being a vampire you can, what, read minds?” I ask and laugh at the ridiculous idea. I look at Ray’s face and realize that he can. I blush a deep red and look out the window again. Ray runs his hand through my hair and I turn back to him.217

“Seriously Ray, how many times a day do you intend to do that?” I ask.218

“Like I said yesterday, as many times as I want to.” Ray answers me. I shake my head at him and look back out the window. I gasp as I see the hugest house ever.219

“Welcome to our house.” Ray says. I stare at him.220

“That isn’t a house. That’s a frickin’ castle!” I exclaim. Ray shakes his head and gets out. I get out too and close the door. Ray and I grab my bags out of the trunk and carry them to the house. I follow Ray upstairs and he leads me to the most beautiful room. The walls are a midnight blue, the carpet is deep red, the bed is white, the furniture is made out of mahogany by the looks of things, and the ceiling is forest green. I look around at the walls to see pictures. 221

“Are those pictures of your family?” I ask, confused as to why they would be in here. I am getting my own room, right?222

“Yeah. This is my room. Father thought that you’d be safer if you’d sleep in here with me instead of you having your own room. Sorry.” Ray apologizes. I shake my head to dismiss the apology as another scream fest is going on inside my head. I look at the bed and see at least three dozen pillows. I set my bags on the floor and go over to the bed. I run my hands over it and all of a sudden I’m picked up and tossed onto the bed. I bounce high in the air and then land on something that isn’t soft. But I don’t think it’s a something more like it’s a someone. I look down to see Ray grinning up at me.223

“I thought that the guy’s always supposed to be on top.” I point out.224

“So you’re right. Let me fix that.” Ray’s grin gets even wider. Before I can retaliate he has me underneath him and he is pinning me to the bed.225

“Super speed?” I ask. Ray nods and leans down. He presses his lips to mine and this time I don’t get any images. I kiss Ray back, not thinking that anything can happen. Ray pulls away from me abruptly and rolls over so that he’s lying next to me. I roll onto my side so that I can look at him. I put my hand under Ray’s chin and turn his head so that he has to look at me.226

“What did I do wrong?” I ask him. Ray shakes his head and rolls onto his side as well.227

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me. There are dangers in a human/vampire relationship. Like if I get you pregnant there’s a fifty percent chance that you’ll die while giving birth. And there’s also the possibility that I could hurt you.” Ray explains. I whimper slightly and move a little closer to him.228

“One little kiss. Please? Just one?” I plead. Ray shakes his head.229

“Please Ray. You won’t be able to hurt me. You have enough self-control. Or is the real reason you don’t love me?” I ask, hurt already spreading through my insides. Ray runs his hand down my side.230

“I would be able to hurt you. And I do love you. That’s why I was upset when I found out about this. You didn’t have a choice. Either live with abusive parents or live with bloodthirsty vampires. You’d die either way.” Ray sighs. I grab his hands and hold them.231

“Please Ray? I swear that I won’t get hurt. Please? It’s just one little kiss.” I beg. Ray sighs again and leans forward. He touches his lips to mine and I kiss him back. Ray and I slowly get more into it. We break away after a few minutes. We spend the rest of our time talking.232

That night I meet Ray’s mother and sister. When Ray and I go back to our room we get into an argument about whether this relationship is dangerous or not. It ends with Ray sleeping in a different room and me going to bed alone and crying.233

It’s been a week since that happened and there’s a talent show happening. Ray and I haven’t talked at all in the past week and I’ve gone to bed crying each night. I entered the talent show and so did Ray. Ray goes before me and does a whole bunch of magic tricks with an assistant. I walk past Ray and his assistant, a preppy blond who wears pink, and to the piano in the center of the stage. I’m wearing a sweeping black dress that Mortitia, Ray’s mom, loaned me. It has loose long sleeves, it goes to the floor, and it fits comfortably-not too tight and not too loose. I sit down at the piano and start playing and singing. I don’t sing often.234

“I always needed time on my own235

I never thought I'd need you there when I cry236

And the days feel like years when I'm alone237

And the bed where you lie is made up on your side238

When you are going I count the steps that you take239

Do you see how much I need you right now240

When you're gone241

The pieces of my heart are missing you242

When you're gone243

The face I came to know is missing too244

When you're gone245

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok246

I miss you247

I've never felt this way before248

Everything that I do reminds me of you249

And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor250

And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do251

When you are going I count the steps that you take252

Do you see how much I need you right now253

When you're gone254

The pieces of my heart are missing you255

When you're gone256

The face I came to know is missing too257

When you're gone258

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok259

I miss you260

We were made for each other261

Out here forever262

I know we were, yeah263

All I ever wanted was for you to know264

Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul265

I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah266

When you're gone267

The pieces of my heart are missing you268

When you're gone269

The face I came to know is missing too270

When you're gone271

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok272

I miss you.” I finish and everyone applauds. I stand up and go backstage again. Ray glances back at me and I can see the hurt in his eyes, can see how much hurt my song caused him. I look at the ground, trying to keep myself together. The next people go and the next and the next. Ray comes over to me just as the last person goes.273

“I’m sorry Sarah. I am so sorry. I didn’t realize that I gave you so much pain. Please, forgive me.” Ray pleads.274

“I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.” I say, smiling at the ground. Ray puts his hand under my chin and lifts my head up. He kisses my lips tenderly. We were both forgiven.. Ray pulls away from me and brushes my hair back behind my ear.275

“I’m doing another performance with some friends of mine and I want you to be right behind the curtain, watching. Alright?” Ray asks. I nod and follow him over to the curtain. Ray and a few other boys go to the stage and I stand behind the curtain like Ray asked.276

“There's another world inside of me277

That you may never see278

There're secrets in this life279

That I can't hide280

Somewhere in this darkness281

There's a light that I can't find282

Maybe it's too far away...283

Or maybe I'm just blind...284

Or maybe I'm just blind...285

So hold me when I'm here286

Right me when I'm wrong287

Hold me when I'm scared288

And love me when I'm gone289

Everything I am290

And everything in me291

Wants to be the one292

You wanted me to be293

I'll never let you down294

Even if I could295

I'd give up everything296

If only for your good297

So hold me when I'm here298

Right me when I'm wrong299

You can hold me when I'm scared300

You won't always be there301

So love me when I'm gone302

Love me when I'm gone...303

When your education X-Ray304

Cannot see under my skin305

I won't tell you a damn thing306

That I could not tell my friends307

Roaming through this darkness308

I'm alive but I'm alone309

Part of me is fighting this310

But part of me is gone311

So hold me when I'm here312

Right me when I'm wrong313

Hold me when I'm scared314

And love me when I'm gone315

Everything I am316

And everything in me317

Wants to be the one318

You wanted me to be319

I'll never let you down320

Even if I could321

I'd give up everything322

If only for your good323

So hold me when I'm here324

Right me when I'm wrong325

You can hold me when I'm scared326

You won't always be there327

So love me when I'm gone328

Or maybe I'm just blind…329

So hold me when I'm here330

Right me when I'm wrong331

Hold me when I'm scared332

And love me when I'm gone333

Everything I am334

And everything in me335

Wants to be the one336

You wanted me to be337

I'll never let you down338

Even if I could339

I'd give up everything340

If only for your good341

So hold me when I'm here342

Right me when I'm wrong343

You can hold me when I'm scared344

You won't always be there345

So love me when I'm gone346

Love me when I'm gone...347

Love me when I'm gone348

When I'm Gone349

When I'm Gone350

When I'm Gone.” Ray finishes and flashes a smile and a wink at me. I smile. Ray can sing. Ray and his friends come back.351

“That was amazing! I didn’t know that you could sing.” I compliment Ray. He wraps his arm around me and runs his hand through my hair.352

“Well, my angel, there are plenty of things that you don’t know about me.” Ray says. I look away from him.353

“Uhhu. Yep. You’re right.” I say. Ray turns me around so that I have to face him.354

“What do you know?” He asks.355

“Well, um…stuff that you wouldn’t want me to talk about around your friends for one. And stuff that your mother and sister told me.” I tell him. Ray’s mouth drops open in horror. I look at the ground, trying to keep myself from laughing. The girls of Ray’s family told me some very embarrassing stories that Ray would murder them for.356

“What did they tell you? Sarah, you’d better tell me right now.“ Ray’s voice constricts in panic and I laugh a little.357

“Well unless you want your friends to find out, I advise you wait until we get home.” I tell him. Ray stares at me in a deathly panic. My cell beeps and I pull it out of my purse. A text from Jim!358

hey litle sis. im fine 2. wars goin great. i mite be abl 2 com home. so far were winning. mom sent a leter 2 me about u leving. i Hope u hav fun. and win i do com bac im comin 2 c u first. mis u 2. Love ya. Jim.359

“He might be coming back. He might be able to come home.” I whisper. Ray reads my text.360

“Who’s Jim?” He asks.361

“Jim is my older brother. He might be able to come home. Praise the lord. Every night I worry about whether Jim is safe or not. He joined up with the military as soon as he left school which was three years ago. He swore to all of us-my sisters, brother and I-that he’d be back as soon as he could. I’ve gotta tell Beth. She went to college just last year.” I say frantically. I pull up Beth’s number and text her.362

Beth, Jim mite b comin home. he just textd me that. itll b great. Beth, u gotta com c him win he gets her. ples. hope ur enjoyin college. Sarah.363

I send her the text. Ray gently grabs my hand.364

“Calm down Sarah. She’ll get it. And I’m sure that your brother will be able to come home. If you want, I can ask my father if he can house your brother while he stays here.” Ray says gently.365

“You’d do that? Oh Ray, thank you. Thank you so much.” I say in relief. There is no way I want Jim to be with dad or Ben.366

“Course I would do that. He’s about to be my brother anyways. Or did you forget?” Ray asks. I shake my head.367

“I didn’t forget. I just lost track of thought. You’ll love Jim. He’s so nice. So kind and gentle. Your whole family will love him.” I say. Ray pulls me closer to him.368

“Our family. Our family will love him.” Ray corrects me. I smile up at Ray. I know that you can hear me, so here goes nothing. You are the kindest, gentlest, sweetest, and sexiest soul that I’ve ever met. I think. Ray’s face gets flushed and I laugh.369

Sarah laughs at the way my face gets flushed. Her thought was…um, nice you could say. Sarah thinks about her brother every night, just like she said. She dreams about him returning home safely. I wonder what this Jim is like.370

Jim’s POV371

I duck down behind the barrier wall we made and slump onto the ground as the last of the smoke clears. I lean over to my friend, Joshua Laker. He’s a black boy two years younger than me. I brush my now dirty and ragged blond hair away from my eyes.372

“Dude, do you think it’s over?” Josh asks me. I sigh heavily and pat the back of the hand of my light-skinned African-American friend.373

“I don’t know man. I hope it is. I want to go back to my siblings and my mom and step mom. My dad and step dad are nothing to go back for. They’re just damn drunks and according to my little sister, they’ve gotten worse.” I sigh again and Josh looks at me.374

“That’s all you seem to be made out of these days is sighs. Even your turquoise eyes have lost their shine of hope.” Josh points out. I look at him as I sigh for a third time.375

“There isn’t much to hope for during a war except for the fact that you hope that you and your comrades live to see tomorrow. I lost all of my hope a while ago when John got killed.” I tell him. John Wader. My best friend had joined the military with me to support my actions. But it did nothing. He was killed a year ago in the war, hit by a filthy Iraqi. I’ve gotten my revenge. My cell phone beeps and I pick it up.376

ur comin bac? Sarah just told me. win? Jim, b carful. me and Amanda Love u. Beth.377

Oh, Amanda. My love. My betrothed. She said that she’d wait for me and she’s held true to her word. She’s written me many times and I always texted Beth a message for Amanda. Amanda is in college with Beth and looks like an older version of Sarah. She’s so beautiful. I miss her.378

“Your sister and beloved miss you. They haven’t forgotten you man. That’s good.” Josh says. His fiancé forgot him and married someone else.379

“Don’t worry Josh, you’ll find a woman someday. Someone better than Marissa.” I reassure him. We hear shouting voices and look above to see our general setting-more like jamming-the American flag into the land.380

“We won? We won. We won!” I shout, all hope coming back. I shake Josh by the shoulders. 381

“Dude, we won! The war’s over! We won!” I shout at him. The realization comes to Josh and he jumps up, punching the air with his fist and shouting, “Yes!” Josh and I go over to the rest of the army and we all babble off happily, glad that the war is finally over. I pull out my cell phone and text both of my sisters.382

we won. im comin bac.383

I dance around with joy, singing an old victory song that I learned in school. We all go back to base and start packing up our stuff. We have a plane ticket out of here bright and early tomorrow morning. I go to the lounge to see the news on the TV. 384

“This just in, the war is over. You heard correctly ladies and gentlemen. The war is officially over with an American victory. The young men and women who have survived this horrifying encounter will be coming home in the next two to three days. This is Shady Lane of channel one news and I would personally like to thank our soldiers. Goodnight.” The TV is turned off and I sigh happily. We’re going home. I walk to my tent and lay down on the cot. Josh comes in and sits on his.385

“Dude, this is so great. I’ll be able to see my parents.” Josh says happily.386

“And I’ll be able to see my family dude. My sisters and my little brother and my mom and step mom. It’s going to be great. Promise to keep in touch man. We live halfway across the country from each other.” I say.387

“I will amigo. We’re companeros. We’re friends, companions. Don’t worry.” Did I forget to mention that Josh speaks Spanish? Guess I did. I fold my arms under my head and stare at the ceiling of the tent. I wonder how my family’s doing. I close my eyes and start humming Citizen Soldier by Three Doors Down. I start singing it under my breath.388

“Beyond the boundaries of your city's lights,389

Stand the heroes waiting for your cries.390

So many times you did not bring this on yourself,391

When that moment finally comes,392

I'll be there to help.393

On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,394

I'll be right here.395

Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.396

Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,397

We'll always be ready because we will always be there.398

When there are people crying in the streets,399

When they're starving for a meal to eat,400

When they simply need a place to make their beds,401

Right here underneath my wing,402

You can rest your head.403

On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,404

I'll be right here!405

Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.406

Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,407

We'll always be ready because we will always be there...408

There... there... there...409

Hope and pray that you'll never need me,410

But rest assured I will not let you down.411

I'll walk beside you but you may not see me,412

The strongest among you may not wear a crown.413

On that day when you need your brothers and sisters to care,414

I'll be right here!415

On that day when you don't have the strength for the burden you bear,416

I'll be right here!417

Citizen soldiers holding the light for the ones that we guide from the dark of despair.418

(Citizen soldiers)419

Standing on guard for the ones that we sheltered,420

We'll always be ready because we will always be there.” I finish with a sigh. Why does that song have to be so true, even if this happened in the past? I fall asleep after thinking for an hour.421

-------------------------------------------------------------------422

Chapter 3423

I awake in the morning to Josh nudging me.424

“Wake up dude. It’s time to go.” Josh says. I sit up on the cot and stretch.425

“Best night of sleep I’ve gotten for three years.” I mumble. I get up and grab my bag. I swing it over my shoulder and put my hat on my head. One of those cloth hats that almost look like a beret. The dim green of the military and the American Eagle. I exit the tent and the general comes over to me.426

“Son, you’ll be coming on the same plane as me. We’re both going to West Nile so we’re going on the U.S plane with twenty others.” The general tells me. I follow him to one of the planes and climb in. I sit next to Melissa Major, one of the female officers. She has dark red hair, deep blue eyes, and is fairly tall.427

“Hi Melissa. I never knew that you lived near West Nile.” I say to her. She smiles at me.428

“Yeah. I live in Waverton, about two miles north of West Nile. My parents are going to be so happy when I get home. Who are you going back to?” She asks.429

“Three younger sisters, a younger brother, my parents and their spouses, my fiancé, and my soon-to-be family. My little sister, Sarah, lives with her betrothed and his family. Mom could think that the only way to get her away from my dad and step dad. But Sarah’s overjoyed.” I tell her. Melissa knows a lot about my family and vice versa. I settle down for the two hour plane ride. Who‘s going to greet me at the airport?430

The plane lands and everyone gets their luggage down from the racks. I swing my bag over my shoulder and exit the plane with Melissa following me. We get to the point of parting.431

“If you’re ever in West Nile look me up lieutenant.” I grin at her.432

“Same here soldier. Goodbye.” Melissa walks away. I turn around and walk in my direction. All of a sudden a body collides with me. Correction. A squealing body collides with me. I look down to see Sarah’s blond head. I drop my bag and hug her.433

“I missed you sis. I missed you so much.” I tell her.434

“You are never going to go away again. That’s an order.” Sarah says, pulling away from me. I laugh at her and look up. Standing in the background is the rest of the family and the Jackson’s. Mom, Kim, Beth, Seth, Samantha, dad, Ben, Ray Jackson, Caitlyn Jackson, Mortitia Jackson, Henry Jackson, and…Amanda. She runs up and hugs me. I hold her close and kiss her.435

“So, is that wedding still on?” I ask her. Amanda buries her head into the crook of my neck with a muffled ‘yes’. Ray Jackson comes over and puts his arm around Sarah. I point a finger at him.436

“I’m warning you now bucko, mess with my sister and that’s just begging for a death wish.” I tell him. Ray slides his arm from around Sarah and she glares at me.437

“As your older brother, I have a duty to protect you.” I say as Amanda turns around so I can have my arm around her shoulders. Sarah sticks her tongue out at me and Amanda laughs.438

“Oh yes. That’s very mature for a sixteen-year-old girl, Sarah. Especially for one who’s engaged.” I smirk as Sarah blushes and buries her face into Ray’s shoulder. I laugh.439

“Sarah wants you to come and stay with us until you get married. My father already said that it’s alright.” Ray tells me. 440

“Alright. I’ll meet you guys by your car after saying hi to the rest of the family.” I lead Amanda away to the rest of my family.441

I watch Jim walk over to the family and clap happily. Even though he embarrasses me, he’s my favorite sibling. He’s always been able to get me out of one of my fits.442

“Oh this is going to be so great. And I won’t make things explode as often.” I say, remembering the two…sorry. Five vases that I made explode last week after the argument between Ray and I.443

“And what do you mean by that?” Ray asks me.444

“Well, Jim’s always been able to get me out of my fits. There was one time when I was in kindergarten still and Jim was in fifth grade. I was having a fit down in the classroom and Jim was walking by, doing an errand for his teacher. He heard things breaking and ran in. He managed to calm me down before anything major happened. All that happened was that a few dolls died and I was sent home early with Jim. It was so embarrassing. But being popular cuts out the embarrassing things that one has done in their life.” I sigh as we walk back to the car…I mean limo. It’s actually sort of both. I slide in the back with Caitlyn and Ray comes in right after me. I settle down onto Ray’s arm and shoulder. He slips his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer.445

“We still need to get you your outfit for homecoming.” Ray tells me. I groan. Homecoming dresses are usually big and puffy.446

“Don’t worry. We’ll get you a normal dress. Something that’ll look nice on you.” Ray grins at me as I light up. Something that looks normal. I’d give anything to be normal and not a messed up psychopath. Jim gets in the back with us and Henry and Mortitia get in the front. We start the long drive back to Jackson Manor. You have to be rich to have a house named after your family. 447

“So, how have you two been getting along?” Jim asks.448

“Good, well, fine, great, perfectly. How ever you want to put it.” I say, relaxing against Ray’s chest. He runs his hand through my hair and I sigh contentedly. Jim looks at us.449

“You two will get along better than I thought. Hopefully.” Jim says. I glare at him angrily.450

“Jim, you just got out of the war. Don’t force me to start one against you.” I tell him. Jim laughs.451

“What could you do?” Jim inquires, raising an eyebrow.452

“I could tell Ray and his family your most embarrassing secrets.” I counter.453

“And I could do the same.” Jim says.454

“Well it’s too late for that. They already know everything even though I’ve been with them for only a week. So don’t try me.” I smile at him sweetly.455

“Did you tell them about Max?” He asks. The color drains from my face. Max is a teddy bear that I use to sleep with until last year. I stopped once I reached my sixteenth birthday. Only because I got mad and accidentally made him explode. He was pretty much a white puffball teddy bear. Those were really popular when I was kid and since I broke my leg when I was just two dad got him for me. If you haven’t noticed yet white is my favorite color. White roses, I love Ray’s bed because it’s white, my room was white, and Max was white before he exploded. Yeah. He sorta turned brownish-black what was left of him. I narrow my eyes at Jim.456

“You wouldn’t dare.” I say in a threatening voice. Jim just gives me a knowing smile with a hint of mockery.457

“Oh my dear little sister, you know that I will go there, that I would dare. So open your mouth and try to tell someone one of my secrets and I’ll tell them about Max.” Jim smirks at me as I turn away. No one can know about Max. No one. I settle back down into Ray and he hugs me close.458

“I already know about Max, honey. You talk about him in your sleep. When we get home I have a surprise for you waiting in our room.” Ray tells me. I look up at him expectantly. Jim looks over too.459

“What is it?” I ask. Ray laughs and ruffles my hair.460

“I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise. Surprise is another word for short secret. Just be patient angel of mine.” Ray tells me. I sigh dramatically and lay my head on Ray’s chest.461

“You two share a room?” Jim asks.462

“Yes. Do you have a problem with that?” Ray inquires.463

“In fact, I do. How am I supposed to know if you guys are doing anything?” Jim demands. Ray and I exchange an uneasy look.464

“We can’t really do that without risk. So we’re going to wait until our wedding night. Hopefully nothing will be too dramatic.” Ray explains. I smile weakly and look away from the two boys.465

“Without risk? What do you mean by that?” Jim demands.466

“You’ll find out sooner or later Jim. Trust me when I say you don’t want to know yet.” I tell him. We reach Jackson Manor and I get out of the car with Ray. We walk to the house and when we reach the stairs Ray covers my eyes.467

“Ray! You don’t need to do this.” I say as he starts leading me up to our room. Ray chuckles.468

“Yes I do need to do this my love. You’ll like the surprise.” Ray tells me. We reach our room and Ray walks me over to the bed. He uncovers my eyes and I gasp. Sitting on top of the pillows is a white puffball teddy bear. I pick it up and hug it tightly. I turn to look at Ray with tears in my eyes.469

“Did you do this?” I ask. Ray kisses me gently.470

“Yes. Do you like it?” He asks.471

“Like it? No. I love it!” I exclaim. I throw my arms around Ray’s neck, still holding the teddy bear. He hugs me back.472

“I’m glad that you like it. What’s its name?” Ray asks.473

“Well, it starts with an r and ends with a y. And it has an a in the middle.” I tell him. Ray pulls back and looks at me.474

“You’re naming it after me? Why?” He asks.475

“One, you gave it to me. Two, you’re my fiancé. And three, I love you.” I tell him. Ray kisses me and I kiss him back. The door opens and Caitlyn walks in. Ray and I pull away from each other.476

“Brother, your band is here and they’re waiting downstairs.” Caitlyn says and leaves. Ray looks at me.477

“We have to rehearse. Would you and Ray II like to come listen?” He asks. I nod and Ray leads me downstairs to the basement. The basement was converted into a giant Rec room where Ray and his band can practice. Ray walks over to the mic and I sit down in a beanbag and give Ray the teddy his own seat. They start.478

“Been working so hard479

I punch in my card480

Eight hours, for what?481

Now tell me what I got482

I get this feeling483

That time's just holding me down484

I'll hit the ceiling485

Or else I'll tear up this town486

Now I gotta cut487

Loose, footloose488

Kick off my Sunday shoes489

Please, Louise490

Pull me offa my knees491

Jack, get back492

C'mon before we crack493

Lose your blues494

Come on and get footloose495

You're playing so cool496

Obeying every rule497

Dig way down in your heart498

You're burning, yearning for some499

Somebody to tell you500

That life ain't passing you by501

I'm trying to tell you502

It will if you don't even try503

now you gotta cut504

Loose, footloose505

Kick off the Sunday shoes506

Oowhee, Marie507

Shake it, shake it for me508

Oh, my lord509

C'mon, c'mon let's go510

Lose your blues511

Everybody get footloose512

you've got to turn me around513

You put your feet on the ground514

Now take a hold of your soul515

I'm turning516

Loose, footloose517

Kick off your Sunday shoes518

Please, Louise519

Pull me offa my knees520

Jack, get back521

C'mon before we crack522

Lose your blues523

Everybody get footloose524

Footloose, footloose525

Kick off your Sunday shoes526

Oowhee, Marie527

Shake it, shake it for me528

Oh, My lord529

C'mon, c'mon let's go530

Lose your blues531

Everybody get footloose” They finish and I stare in shock. They really can sing. The lead guitarist tunes his guitar a little bit and twangs one of the strings. Ray looks back at him and turns back around. They start again. 532

“It's a new day533

But it all feels old,534

It's a good life,535

That's what I'm told,536

But everything, it all just feels the same...537

And my high school538

It felt more to me539

Like a jail cell,540

A penitentiary541

My time spent there, it only made me see542

That I don't ever wanna be like you543

I don't wanna do the things you do544

I'm never gonna hear the words you say545

And I don't ever wanna,546

I don't ever wanna be547

You548

Don't wanna be just like you549

What I'm sayin' is550

This is the anthem551

Throw all your hands up552

You..553

Don't wanna be you554

"Go to college,555

A university556

Get a real job"557

That's what they said to me558

But I could never live the way they want559

I'm gonna get by560

And just do my time561

Out of step while562

They all get in line563

I'm just a Minor Threat so pay no mind564

Do you really wanna be like them?565

Do you really wanna be another trend?566

Do you wanna be part of that crowd?567

Cause I don't ever wanna568

I don't ever wanna be569

You570

Don't wanna be just like you571

What I'm sayin' is572

This is the anthem573

Throw all your hands up574

You575

Don't wanna be you576

Shake it once, that's fine577

Shake it twice, that's okay578

Shake it three times, you're playing with yourself again579

You580

Don't wanna be just like you581

What I'm sayin' is582

This is the anthem583

Throw all your hands up584

Y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me585

You586

Don't wanna be just like you (just like you)587

This is the anthem588

Throw all your hands up589

Y'all got to feel me, sing if you're with me590

Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)591

Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)592

Another loser anthem (Whoa-oh)593

Another loser anthem...!” I stare once again and this time my mouth dropped open. The guitarist once again retunes his guitar and yet they play another song. 594

“Four years you think for sure595

That’s all you’ve got to endure596

All the total dicks597

All the stuck up chicks598

So superficial, so immature599

Then when you graduate600

You take a look around and you say HEY WAIT601

This is the same as where I just came from602

I thought it was over603

Aw that’s just great604

The whole damn world is just as obsessed605

With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex,606

Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys,607

Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess608

And you still don’t have the right look609

And you don’t have the right friends610

Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends611

High school never ends612

Check out the popular kids613

You’ll never guess what Jessica did614

How did Mary Kate lose all that weight615

And Katie had a baby so I guess Tom’s straight616

And the only thing that matters617

Is climbing up that social ladder618

Still care about your hair and the car you drive619

Doesn’t matter if you’re sixteen or thirty-five620

Reese Witherspoon,621

She’s the prom queen622

Bill Gates,623

Captain of the chess team624

Jack Black, the clown625

Brad Pitt, the quarterback626

I’ve seen it all before627

I want my money back628

The whole damn world is just as obsessed629

With who’s the best dressed and who’s having sex,630

Who’s in the clubs and who’s on the drugs,631

Who’s throwing up before they digest632

And you still don’t have the right look633

And you don’t have the right friends634

And you still listen to the same shit you did back then635

High school never ends636

High school never ends637

The whole damn world is just as obsessed638

With who‘s the best dressed and who‘s having sex,639

Who‘s got the money, who gets the honeys,640

Who‘s kinda cute and who‘s just a mess641

And I still don’t have the right look642

And I still have the same three friends643

And I’m pretty much the same as I was back then644

High school never ends645

High school never ends646

High school never ends647

Here we go again” I just shake my head in amazement. Not that many people can sing. Ray comes over and sits down with Ray II. 648

“So, what did you think? Was it good?” Ray asks me.649

“Good? No. Great? Yes.” I reply. Ray smiles and hugs me.650

“We were really that good?” He asks.651

“Yes. I’ve never heard better singing ever before.” I confide. Ray laughs.652

“I have.” He says.653

“Who?” I inquire.654

“You. Why not try singing now? We’re alone.” Ray points out. I look around and see that he’s right. The band is gone. I stand up nervously and grab the mic. I turn on the radio and put a cd in. I find my favorite song on the cd and start singing along.655

“I'm Standing on the bridge 656

I'm waitin in the dark 657

I thought that you'd be here by now 658

There’s nothing but the rain 659

No footsteps on the ground 660

I'm listening but there’s no sound 661

Isn't anyone tryin to find me? 662

Won't somebody come take me home 663

It's a damn cold night 664

Trying to figure out this life 665

Wont you take me by the hand 666

Take me somewhere new 667

I don’t know who you are 668

But I... I'm with you 669

Im looking for a place 670

Searching for a face 671

Is anybody here i know 672

Cause nothings going right 673

And everything’s a mess 674

And no one likes to be alone 675

Isn't anyone tryin to find me? 676

Won't somebody come take me home 677

It's a damn cold night 678

Trying to figure out this life 679

Wont you take me by the hand 680

Take me somewhere new 681

I don’t know who you are 682

But I... I'm with you683

Oh why is everything so confusing 684

Maybe I'm just out of my mind 685

Yea yea yea 686

It's a damn cold night 687

Trying to figure out this life 688

Wont you take me by the hand 689

Take me somewhere new 690

I don’t know who you are 691

But I... I'm with you692

I’m with you 693

Take me by the hand 694

Take me somewhere new 695

I don’t know who you are 696

But I... I'm with you697

I'm with you698

Take me by the hand 699

Take me somewhere new 700

I don’t know who you are 701

But I... I'm with you702

I'm with you703

I'm with you...” I finish and Ray stares at me in awe. 704

“What?” I ask. Ray shakes his head.705

“Nothing. That was really good.” Ray compliments. I blush with joy. Someone likes my singing. I smile at Ray and he comes over.706

“Too bad there aren’t any duets on this cd or any other one here.” Ray says.707

“Yeah. It’d be nice to sing with you. You have such a nice singing voice.” I tell him.708

“So do you love. So do you.” Ray says back. We sit back down on the beanbags and get comfortable. I lean against Ray while holding the teddy bear. Ray wraps his arms around me and pulls me from my beanbag onto his lap. I lay my head against his chest, just stifling a yawn.709

“You’re tired. Do you want me to carry you upstairs?” Ray asks. I nod my head against him and close my eyes. Ray stands up with me in his arms. He starts walking up the stairs.710

“Ray, here are some letters from the school for you and Sarah.” I hear Mortitia say. Ray keeps walking up and goes upstairs again. Ray stops and I hear him sigh. Footsteps come by.711

“Jim, do you think you could get the door for me?” Ray asks. I hear the doorknob rattle and the door creek open.712

“Thanks. Sarah and I will see you in the morning.” Ray walks into the room and kicks the door shut. He sets me down on the bed and covers me up. I grab his hand as he goes to stand up.713

“Okay. I’ll lay down. We can read these letters in the morning.” Ray assures me. He climbs under the covers and pulls me to him. I sink into his cool embrace and smile. Ray presses his lips to my hair and murmurs words of sleep to me. He starts to sing a lullaby to me in a soft voice.714

“Sleep my beauty715

Sleep my rose.716

I’ll attend to my duty717

Of the North close718

While you sleep719

In your peace-filled dreams720

Of pleasure and sunny days721

That come so close722

To being here723

Everyday724

Every hour725

Every minute726

And every second.727

So sleep my beauty728

Sleep my rose 729

As your painful day730

Comes to a close.” Ray murmurs. I start to drift to sleep. In a matter of seconds I’m out.731

I watch Sarah sleep. She looks so peaceful. She doesn’t have any thoughts like she had when I had watched her during school. I still remember the first day I met her. Ninth grade, December fifth of 1985.732

~FLASHBACK~733

I walk through the halls swiftly, kids scattering upon seeing me. Having this long, black trench coat and black hair and electric-blue eyes that glance at everyone with coldness frightens these humans. I will never understand them. They get so involved with their emotions that it kills me. A guy will kick the ass of anyone who dares go near the girl that broke up with them. The women always scream and yell and cry. It gets annoying having to live among humans. But father says that it’ll be good to help keep my cravings under control. I snort and another couple of kids scatter. 734

Yeah right. I can’t wait to sink my fangs into these filthy humans. But there blood is oh so delicious. I think as I find my locker. I open up the door and drop my stuff inside. I have a free period. I hear laughing and smell the sweet smell of blood. Most likely a cheerleader who can’t control herself. I turn around to see a blond with her back to me. Oh this will be easy. Blonds are always easy to convince. I think in satisfaction. I listen in on the conversation of the girl and her friends.735

“So, Sarah. What classes do you have again?” A boy with golden-blond hair asks. I chuckle lightly. This boy already wants to knock this girl up. Poor thing. The girl looks down at her schedule.736

“Um…first hour I have AP Math, second hour AP English, third hour AP History, fourth hour is my lunch hour, fifth hour I have AP Biology, and sixth hour I have AP Spanish. Why?” The girl looks back up at the boy. His mouth is on the floor and his blue eyes are wide with shock.737

“I thought all blonds were supposed to be stupid?” He says uncertainly. The girl-Sarah I guess-growls at him.738

“You know what Erik, if you’re going to stereotype me because of my hair color then you’d better stay away from me. I’ve dealt with hell like this for a long time and I’m not about to get it from you. You’re just lucky that I can control my temper.” Sarah tells him. She spins around and walks away. I pay no more mind and start walking. Something collides with me and I’m knocked to the floor. So is the person.739

“Oh my god! I am so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. Here, let me get those for you.” I hear Sarah’s voice ring out. My books are picked up but aren’t given back to me.740

“You’ll enjoy these. They’re really good. Here you go. Again, I’m sorry.” I look up as my books are handed back to me to see Sarah scooping up her own books. Her pearl-blond hair sweeps in front of her face, hiding her eyes. When she looks up there’s a dull blush on her cheeks. I stare into her blue-green eyes.741

“Like I said, I really am sorry. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. Have fun with those. Goodbye.” She says, nodding towards the books in my hands. Sarah stands up and glides away, her hips moving minimally. I stand up and walk away. If it was possible, that girl would have started my heart beating again. Maybe I will give a try to controlling my craving.742

~END FLASHBACK~ 743

I sigh heavily. I’d been watching Sarah in secret for two years until I got the courage to put that rose and note into her locker. I run my hand through Sarah’s hair. She’s so innocent and such. So sweet and beautiful. Too sweet and beautiful and innocent to have to go through what she’ll have to. I know that she’ll want our wedding night to happen. I know that she’ll want me to turn her. Not being able to see the way her face blushes as the bloods runs into it, not being able to feel her warm body next to me in the night, not hearing the way she murmurs in her sleep, not feeling the warm tingle her hands and body leave on me. 744

But there’s always the chance that she’ll live. But that’s a very slim chance there. A very slim chance. If she doesn’t die then everything will be fine. If she does, then I will always internally hate the child that she bears. But it’ll be mine so I mustn’t kill it. Besides, it would be the only thing that I’d have to remember Sarah by. I climb out of bed quietly, slipping out of Sarah’s grasp. She wraps her arms around the teddy bear even more tightly. I grab one of the letters and slide back into bed. Sarah moves on instinct and presses herself to me. I chuckle and wrap an arm around her while opening the letter. Sarah sighs in content. I open the letter and start reading.745

Dear Mr. Jackson,746

We would like to inform you that since your grades are far above average we have skipped you up through school and you no longer have to attend. If ever you wish to apply for a job we have both your High school and College certificates and diplomas for any field of study you wish to partake in. We wish you luck in the world.747

Sincerely,748

Marcus Jaronda.749

I stare at the letter in shock and then look down at Sarah. What if…? I think, watching her sleeping form. I try to get out of her grip but Sarah just tightens it and whimpers.750

“No. Don’t leave me daddy. Don’t leave me alone.” She whimpers. I hug her tight. She must be having a nightmare. She was speaking like a little girl. Like a little girl who was left all alone with no one to help her. 751

“Shhh. I’m here honey. I’m right here and I’m not going to leave you. I promise. It’s alright.” I murmur. Sarah relaxes and presses herself even closer to me-if that’s even humanly possible-and nearly strangles the teddy bear. I hug her and lay my head right next to hers. I fall asleep moments later.752

-------------------------------------------------------------------753

Chapter 4754

I wake up and stretch. I had a horrible nightmare and it didn’t let me get sufficient sleep. I open my eyes to stare right into the sleeping face of Ray. He has his arms around my waist and his face is inches from mine. I kiss him lightly on the lips and he responds by moving. Ray opens his eyes and looks me in the eyes.755

“Well good morning. Wanted to give a special wake-up call, huh?” Ray questions as he stretches out on the bed and yawns. I giggle quietly. Don’t think bad of me for that. I’m still a blond! It’s in my genes to giggle! Sorry. Ray looks over at me.756

“Sounds like someone’s tired. Didn’t get much sleep?” I raise an eyebrow, warning him not to lie. 757

“Not as much as I normally do. My mind was preoccupied with the way your beauty shone in this pure white bed. I’m surprised that your soul doesn’t blend in with it. So pure and beautiful.” Ray says. I blush and look down at his chest. Ray kisses me and I react on instinct and kiss him back. Ray pulls away from me and gives me a look that says, “You know that that was the naughty thing to do.” Just the scolding look brings tears to my eyes. I look down again.758

“I’m sorry.” I mumble tearfully. Ray smacks me lightly on the cheek. I look up at him in confusion.759

“You’ve now been corrected. In our family when children misbehave you smack them sharply. I wasn’t going to go too hard on you.” Ray explains. I bring a hand to my cheek and wince slightly when I feel the slight sting. He’s right. I have been reprimanded. And so many times more I will be. Ray lays his hand on my cheek and the sting lessens. He lifts it off and I close my eyes, thinking that he’s going to hit me again for when I woke him up. More like how I woke him up. Instead, a piece of paper comes fluttering down onto my cheek. I open my eyes and take it. It’s a letter from the school. I start reading it.760

Dear Ms Love,761

We would like to inform you that since your grades are far above average we have skipped you up through school and you no longer have to attend. If ever you wish to apply for a job we have both your High school and College certificates and diplomas for any field of study you wish to partake in. We wish you luck in the world.762

Sincerely,763

Marcus Jaronda.764

I stare at the letter in astonishment. I’m done with school? Ray looks over at the clock on his bedside table.765

“My alarm was unset. I think that my parents knew about this beforehand. Well this is going to be fun. Caitlyn has school, my parents have to go visit some old friends in Transylvania, and your brother is going to see his fiancé.” Ray says. My stomach churns in an odd way. Alone in a giant house with Ray? I could live with that. As if hearing my exact thoughts Ray hesitantly reprimands me again.766

“No Sarah. Just because we’re alone that isn’t going to happen.” He says sternly. I roll onto my other side so that Ray can’t see my tears. I don’t let people see me cry unless under specific circumstances. This isn’t one of those circumstances. Ray touches my shoulder. I shrug his hand off.767

“Don’t be mad Sarah. Look, what do you want me to do?” He asks. I sniff.768

“For starters you can swear not to hit me. Even though they’re light they still sting. You can also help cheer me up in someway.” I tell him, hugging Ray II to my chest. Ray’s arms wrap around my waist and he lays his head on my shoulder. Moments later he kisses my neck and I gasp. I hadn’t realized how cold his lips are until now. Ray and I just talked for the rest of the day and night, not leaving our room once. This is all I remember as the next three months fly past. I remember our wedding and wedding night.769

-------------------------------------------------------------------770

Chapter 5771

December Nineteenth. I walk downstairs to Henry’s office to get Ray. I hold my arms over my stomach, smiling happily. I reach the office door and grab the handle, ready to knock, when voices float out of the open part. I peek in and see Ray and Henry arguing. Again. I listen in.772

“Be reasonable Ray. Your wife wants this child more than anything! You can’t force her to get rid of it.” Henry growls. My arms tighten around my stomach subconsciously as I listen to the conversation.773

“Father, the thing that is inside my wife is a monster. You’ve seen what it’s been doing to her.” Ray hisses.774

“Your wife has only the normal pregnancy symptoms of a human relationship which surprises me. She isn’t going through the same thing that your mother had to go through. Sarah isn’t awake in the night, moaning in pain and wishing for the torture to end as your mother did each night. She just has morning sickness and the usual strength sap that a regular human pregnancy would give a woman.” Henry points out.775

“You don’t understand. That thing is sapping all of her energy and bravery. She whimpers and cries out in her sleep more often than she used to and it’s only been a month since our wedding night. If you expect me to let that beast inside of her kill her you’re wrong. That monster is going, no matter what.” I step away from the door, shaking my head.776

“No. I’m not getting this baby taken away from me.” I run up the stairs and into my room. I grab my winter coat and slip it on. I stick my hands in my pockets and find things I’ll need. A switchblade, a lighter, matches, a comb, and a bandana. I slip downstairs and into the kitchen. I take out the bandana and slide some pieces of food into it. Just simple things like fruit and cheese and crackers. This should sustain me for a while. I used to regret how both Ben and dad had taught me how to hunt but now I glory it. I slip out of the back door and walk towards the woods. When I reach the dividing line of forest and civilization I glance back at Jackson Manor. I’ll come back after I have my child. I’ll come back to my home, to my family. I turn around and walk into the frozen trees. For eight months the wilderness is going to be my home. The home for me and my unborn child. I can make blankets with the needles inside the match tin and the furs of small animals. I’ll have to live off the land. I’ll have to. If I want to survive.777

-------------------------------------------------------------------778

Chapter 6779

It’s been hours and I’m getting weary. I find a cave and tumble to the floor. For now, I’ll have to rest here. Then I can start walking again. I’ll have to in order to survive. If I stay here for too long then I’ll freeze. I lay myself down on the ground of the cave and curl up into a ball to conserve heat. I drift into a land of dreams.780

-------------------------------------------------------------------781

Chapter 7782

I wake up to the sound of snuffling and barking and to being nuzzled in the stomach by something. I push the thing away from me and open my eyes when I hear growling. I look up to see a large white wolf. I scream in terror and back against the wall, still lying on the floor of the cave I fell asleep in. I fell asleep in a wolf den! I’m deathly afraid of wolves. I whimper in fear as the big wolf comes towards me. Then, out of nowhere, seven pups jump on me. I squeak slightly as I see their teeth. The one closest to my face is black. He licks my face and I blink rapidly. Was he tasting me? Of course not you silly little thing. Get that idea out of your head! I scold myself. The pup tugging on my right hand is tan and a girl. She licks my hand and rolls onto her back. I look between the boy and girl pup that I noticed first.783

Lick for the boy and Sandy for the girl. I look at another of the pups. He’s right over my stomach, growling and snapping at the other four if they come too close. Scorch would be a good name for him. He’s white, just like Alpha. The other four pups are all gray. Sister, Brother, Lovey, and Sting. I look and see two more adult wolves and whimper again, pressing my back to the cave wall. The female I can call Chilly because she’s giving me a cold, hard look right now with her black fur bristling. The male I can call Shady because of his almost black fur. Shady growls at me and Chilly glares at me. As the pups jump off I slide all the way to the floor and I’m very vulnerable at the moment since I’m on my back and my stomach is clearly exposed. I wrap my arms around my stomach, protecting the thing that lies inside of me.784

“Please, spare me. I’m pregnant and I need to stay alive to sustain my child. Please, let me live.” I beg, tears coming to my eyes. Alpha comes closer and my breathing gets quick and shallow with fear. He nuzzles my side and tries to make me stand. I get onto my knees but Alpha keeps pushing so I stand up. My eyes widen in fear as I see that he’s at my waist and could be taller when standing on his hind legs. I back away from the wolf pack, towards the entrance. I trip over something and when I look up I see a tan wolf growling at me. Tooth, that’s a good name for him because he has sharp teeth that could pierce my skin. He puts his jaws on my neck and I squeak in fear when I feel the teeth on my neck. He’s obviously the guard of the pack.785

“Let me go Tooth, please. I don’t want to die. I just want to have my baby and survive. Please.” I plead. The wolf seems to understand me and lets go of my neck. Tooth turns to Alpha and whines at him. Alpha comes over and nuzzles my stomach, snuffling again. I push him away again and wrap my arms tightly around my stomach. Alpha whacks me with his paw and I bite my lip to keep the pain at bay. Tears come to my eyes and slide down my face. Alpha grabs the hood of my coat and drags me back to the pack. What’s going on? Is he planning to kill me? I ask myself. Alpha barks at Chilly and she lays down next to me, placing a protective paw over my stomach. Oh. They’re going to protect me and the baby. I sigh in relief as god answers my prayers. I’m going to be protected. I lay completely on my back and close my eyes. As I start to drift to sleep I feel a pup lay next to my head. I fall asleep.786

-------------------------------------------------------------------787

Chapter 9788

SIX HOURS EARLIER789

I leave father’s office and walk upstairs to mine and Sarah’s room. I have to tell her the decision made with sternness and persistence. I enter the room to see Sarah gone. Her winter coat is gone too. I walk downstairs and find Caitlyn.790

“Caitlyn, did Sarah go out?” I ask her. Caitlyn shakes her head.791

“Not that I know of. Why?” Caitlyn says. I shake my head.792

“Well, Sarah wasn’t upstairs and her coat is gone. I thought-” I’m cut off by mother.793

“Did either of you go outside a few minutes ago? I heard the backdoor close.” She says. The back door? We never use that…Sarah!794

“Damn it! She ran into the woods! Why would she? Oh god no. She heard me and father. God damn it!” I scream in fury. Caitlyn and mother look at me.795

“Father and I were arguing. I’m not letting her keep that beast that’s killing her. She heard us and she ran for it! Damn it all! She’s going to die out there!” I shout, banging my fist against the wall. A hole appears in an instant.796

“Don’t punch the wall Ray. You’ll break it.” Mother says. I ignore her and hit the wall again, sliding to the ground. I let a sob escape my throat. My beloved is out in the frozen woods and she’s going to die. And it’s all my fault. All mine.797

-------------------------------------------------------------------798

Chapter 10799

I wake up with seven little bodies around my head and a paw on my stomach. I open my eyes and my vision is obscured by fur. The pups are all awake because they’re all yipping to each other. I sit up and the pups all scatter. They come back to sit by Chilly. I try to stand up but Chilly pushes me down. I look at her in confusion. She puts her paw back on my stomach and glances at Alpha. Oh my god. He asked her to baby-sit me! I scream in my head. I push her paw away and stand up. Alpha is on me in no time. He growls and hits me with his paw again. I slide to the ground and he looks pointedly at Chilly. She lays right at my feet so that she’ll be able to detect movement of any kind. This sucks. I’m being treated like a misbehaved/injured child by Alpha and the others. I grumble in my head. The pups come over to me and lay down. Lick lays on my chest, Sandy lays by my right hand, Scorch lays on my stomach, and Sister, Brother, Lovey, and Sting lay on my left. Oh great. Even the pups are in on it!800

“Oh this will be fun. So much fun this will be. Trapped by a wolf pack and I’m not even allowed to move. Oh joy.” I mutter angrily. Chilly gives me a stern look and lays her head on her paws. God, she’s just like mom! Only with four legs and black hair. I settle myself against the wall and sigh heavily. I’ll try to make my escape in a few hours.801

-------------------------------------------------------------------802

Chapter 11803

I wake up and look around. Everyone is asleep. Good. I lift the two pups off of me and slowly move my feet to my chest. Chilly doesn’t even move. I slowly stand up and start walking towards the cave entrance. I glance back to make sure none of them have moved. Scorch snuffles and rolls onto his back. I creep out of the cave, stepping over Tooth’s body, only to be confronted by Alpha. He shakes his head at me and grabs my hand in his mouth. He starts pulling me away, further into the woods. He lets go and disappears into the trees. I sit down against one of them and rub my arms to warm myself through the coat. A man comes back moments later. He looks to be in his twenties and has white hair and blue eyes, like Alpha. He’s considerably taller than me as I can see from the ground. He looks down at me and growls.804

“Stand up.” He commands. I get to my feet and he grabs me by the arms. He shakes me roughly and tears spring to my eyes.805

“What is wrong with you girl? First you run away and you’re pregnant to add to it. Now you try to get to the frozen land. Do you want to freeze to death?” He demands. I look at the ground.806

“No. Who are you?” I inquire, looking back up at him.807

“You know me foolish girl.” He growls. The man raises a hand and hits me across the face. I gasp in pain. It felt just like…just like…I look back up at the man.808

“Alpha? You’re a shape shifter?” I question. The man nods at me.809

“You really are foolish. Getting pregnant at your age?” He looks at me like I’m pretty dumb.810

“He is my husband. It was the only solution to get me away from my dad and step dad. They abuse me when they’re angry.” I mumble, looking at the ground.811

“Well then what drove you out here?” He asks.812

“My husband wants me to get rid of the baby because he thinks that it’s sapping my life energy. So I ran away. I’ll go back after it’s born. If I don’t die first.” I sigh heavily and look at the trees, listening to the winds. I can almost hear Ray’s voice. Wait. That is Ray’s voice! I turn back to Alpha to see him wolf again. He grabs my hand in his mouth and drags me back to the cave. He takes me over to his secluded corner and pushes me down. He lays down and drapes a leg around my stomach. He gives me a look that says, “You’re not going anywhere this time.” I sigh again and settle down. Great. Alpha is a man who’s determined to not let me leave while I’m pregnant. Just great. Like the overprotective father that scares off your boyfriend and tells you to wash off the makeup and wear longer clothes. I sigh heavily and close my eyes. The next few months are going to be fun.813

-------------------------------------------------------------------814

Chapter 12815

The next five months pretty much have the same routine. Alpha goes on the hunt and Chilly watches me, I try to escape only to find him at the entrance, he hits me with his paw and I walk back to my corner, after eating he brings me something and lays down, when I finish he puts his leg over my stomach to keep me there, and we fall asleep. Then the day starts over again. This day starts out normally. Alpha lets me go get some fresh air with Tooth watching me from the cave entrance. I walk through the woods, holding my arms over my stomach. Yeah, I’m six months pregnant now. Exactly six months too. Three more months and I can go back. I hear Alpha bark. A bark of warning. He snarls and growls. I turn around and run back to the cave. I see Ray standing just outside of it, glaring at Alpha.816

“Let me by shape shifter. I’m just looking for my wife.” Ray hisses. When Alpha doesn’t move Ray raises his hand. I run out of the trees.817

“Ray Jackson don’t you dare hurt him! He’s the whole reason I’ve stayed alive!” I yell. It’s true. I ate all of my food in the first few hours of my trip. Ray turns around and sees me.818

“Sarah, why did you run away? You could’ve died out here!” Ray exclaims angrily. Tears come to my eyes as I glare at him.819

“Because I am not giving up this child for anything. Go back to the house. I’ll be back in three months at the most. Please Ray. These wolves are my friends and they’ll protect me. Please.” I beg him. Ray gapes at me.820

“You’d rather stay with these wolves?” He asks, hurt showing in his eyes. I walk over to Ray and take his shoulders.821

“Ray, I’m only going to stay here until I have the child. Then we’ll come back. Alpha can help me. He told me that he worked in the delivery room at the hospital before he left. He can help me.” I tell him. Ray looks between me and Alpha.822

“Sarah, this child could kill you. If you just get an abortion we could adopt and there’s no need to risk your life. Neither of us need to fear.” Ray tell me, taking my hands off of his shoulders and into his own two hands.823

“But Ray, I want to keep our child. I don’t want to take care of anyone else’s child. Please Ray. Please. I want to have our own flesh and blood child that we can raise and teach right from wrong. Ray, I don’t care about my own safety! I just want to have this child and give it a chance to live! Please.” I beg with him. Ray sighs and runs his hand down my face. I notice that Alpha is human now but I don’t pay any mind as Ray speaks.824

“Sarah, no. I’m not going to lose you. I’m not going to lose you. Sarah listen to me. Listen to me. Do you want to die? Do you honestly want to die?” He asks me, grabbing my arms to keep me from running.825

“No, I don’t want to die. But I don’t want this baby to die either. Can’t both of us live, and not just one? Are you really going to force me to choose between mine and our baby’s life?” I inquire as the tears come. Ray pulls me into him and holds me tight.826

“I don’t want to make you choose. But there’s only a fifty percent chance that you’ll live. That’s not enough. If it were seventy-five percent then I would want to risk it. But half is too small. No. I refuse to put you in that risk.” Ray says sternly.827

“But Alpha knows how to make my chances of living higher. He worked in an immortal hospital. He knows what to do in cases like this. Ray, please.” I say in a muffled voice. Ray glances back at Alpha.828

“I will help your wife but I must remain with my pack. They can’t survive without me.” Alpha tells him.829

“You can bring your wolves back to the house. I’m not letting Sarah stay out here.” Ray hisses at him. I pull away from Ray and step in between him and Alpha.830

“I like living out here. Besides, the wolves won’t be able to adjust to civilization or, if they do, they’ll be shot and killed. Try staying here for one night. They’ll accept you because Alpha and I will accept you. One night. Just try it. But if you do, stay to the side and pay attention to how they act with me.” I say to him. Ray grudgingly agrees and Alpha goes wolf again. We walk inside and Alpha signals to Chilly. She grabs my hand in her mouth and pulls me down. She lays down at my feet and lays her head on her paws, watching Ray. He sits down next to me and takes my hand. Scorch comes over and growls at him.831

“Shoo! Go away Scorch. He’s not going to hurt me or the baby.” I scold. Scorch looks up at me, wags his tail, and lays down next to Chilly. Then all the pups come over and lay down too, watching Ray intently. I get restless after awhile and stand up to go outside. When I get to the entrance and glance back, Ray is invisible. Or he disappeared because he’s gone. I turn back around and take two steps out of the cave when Alpha comes back. Tooth and Shady are dragging the game. Alpha smacks me across the face sharply and I walk back inside towards our little corner. I sit down and wait for the usual routine to continue. Alpha comes over and drops some of the meat down. He lays next to me and closes his eyes. I eat it slowly, thinking about where Ray could have gone because he wouldn’t have tolerated anyone hitting me. I lay down and Alpha puts his leg over my stomach again. I close my eyes and breathe deep, wondering where Ray could have ever gone. Alpha tightens his grip around me and sniffs the air. He stands up and goes to the entrance. Alpha turns around and barks commands to the three adults. They all growl and turn on the defense mode. The pups come over and lay down next to me as I sit up. I hear footsteps walk towards our cave. 832

I listen intently. Too heavy to be man but even too heavy to be animal. As I look up my heart constricts in fear. Standing in front of Alpha, Chilly, Shady, and Tooth is an enormous wolf. A werewolf. I squeak, almost immediately drawing the attention of the huge immortal. Alpha barks a warning at it and it scoffs. I press my back to the wall of the cave as the giant beast comes into the cave, letting Alpha know with a few words that he wouldn’t hurt us. Or, I assume that’s what was said because Alpha let him come in. The beast almost instantly goes human. A tall man with brown hair, glowing green eyes, and tanned skin. I just now notice the blood dripping down his front and have the urge to throw-up but don’t. The man comes closer and the pups start growling. Alpha barks at them and they stand down, walking over to the adult wolves. The man kneels down and runs his hand down my cheek. I smack his hand away without second thought. Only one person is permitted to do that and that person isn’t here.833

“I can see why that vampire married you. But sadly, you are widowed now. I took care of him and his family. Really disgusting creatures you know, vampires.” He says. I jump up at once and run for it. I run as I’ve never run before. The depression, the hurt, the pain, it all comes in a flash. The trees around me explode and I scream, running through the showering pine needles and bark. I keep running until I see a light in the distance. I get to the house and knock. The door is opened and a woman’s figure is framed in the doorway. Before I can say anything, I faint.834

-------------------------------------------------------------------835

Chapter 13836

I wake up to soft murmurings and music. I keep my eyes closed as my head pounds while I remember everything that had happened.837

“What are we going to do? Sarah was with the Jackson family but of late news of their murder and of her family’s disappearance is about.” I hear a woman’s voice murmur. My eyes flutter open and I see a woman, a man, and a boy my age. With a shock I realize that it’s Chase’s family. His father is his height and has his eyes but has black hair. His mother is my height and has Chase’s hair but green eyes. I sit up with a low moan.838

“Sarah, are you alright? What happened?” Chase asks immediately.839

“I’m fine. I just lost it. That’s all. Too depressed about the news of Ray’s d-d-death.” I stammer weakly in a low monotone. I start crying. Chase rubs my shoulder to comfort me, knowing better than to do anything that would presently remind me of Ray. I hear a howl and another answering the first. The third one is closer than the last two. The fourth howl I hear makes my heart beat wildly. Alpha. I stand and go over to the window to see him looking around the area of land.840

“Alpha, here I am. In the house of wood. Here I am.” I whisper as the tears slide down my cheeks. I now regret that I ever left the manor. I drove Ray to search for me in the open when I could have just refused him and kept the child growing. But no. I had to run away. I see Alpha’s head turn in my direction. He sees me and gestures toward the cave that’s not that far away. I nod to him, letting him know that I’ll come. I walk past the small family and to the door.841

“Where are you going?” Chase demands.842

“Back to my family. My wolf family.” I whisper just loud enough for him to hear. I walk out into the blinding snow and immediately walk into a pair of open arms. Even though it’s May the snow doesn’t stop until the end of June.843

“Don’t worry Sarah. We’ll help you now. Now you really are part of the pack.” Alpha whispers into my ear. Alpha starts to help me get through the snow storm and back to the den. We reach it and Alpha is wolf again. He pulls me into our usual corner and gently pulls me down. Then all of the wolves come over and lay down. I lay my head on my arms as Alpha puts his leg on me like every night. I move closer to him, looking for comfort and warmth now more than ever. Alpha looks at me and I smile sadly.844

“Alpha, my whole entire family is gone. My married and my natural family. I have nowhere to go.” I tell him. Alpha wraps his leg around me as best he can and I can almost here him whisper, “We’re your family now.” I fall asleep wishing that I had had a little more time with my human families.845

-------------------------------------------------------------------846

Chapter 14847

I wake up to the yipping of the pups and the snarling of Alpha. I open my eyes to see the pups trying to play with him. I look around to see Chilly, Tooth, and Shady gone. Alpha must’ve chosen to stay here and protect me. I smile and sit up slightly. The pups jump off of Alpha at once and come over to me, still yipping and barking. I bring my knees up and hold them as close as possible.848

“Sleep my beauty849

Sleep my rose.850

I’ll attend to my duty851

Of the North close852

While you sleep853

In your peace-filled dreams854

Of pleasure and sunny days855

That come so close856

To being here857

Everyday858

Every hour859

Every minute860

And every second.861

So sleep my beauty862

Sleep my rose 863

As your painful day864

Comes to a close.” I sing softly, remembering the exact words that Ray sang to get me to sleep every night for nearly four months. Alpha looks at me curiously.865

“It’s what Ray used to sing to me after I woke up from a nightmare or if I couldn’t get to sleep. I’ll be back. I need to go to the manor and get something.” I tell Alpha. I stand up and walk out the cave. I continue walking until I find the manor. I walk into the house through the backdoor and upstairs. I head into the room that Ray and I had shared. I walk over to the bed and pick up the teddy bear. Ray would at least like to know that I had come back for him. I walk back out and down the stairs again. When I reach the kitchen there’s a note on the counter. I pick it up and read it over.866

Sarah,867

I’m sorry about what we have to do. We told that werewolf to tell you that he killed us and we left corpse replicas in the house. We’ve gone away to Bolivia and won’t be back for a few years. Your family was kidnapped by some immortals and we are trying to find them. Alpha will protect you like I asked him and if you wish to have another child while I’m gone so be it. I miss you and I love you. Ray.868

I hold the note close. Bolivia? They moved to Bolivia? Without me? A few years. I can wait a few years. I walk out of the house with the note in my pocket and Ray in my arms. His fur is just as soft as the rabbit fur I used to make my clothes. I needed new clothes each month because I kept getting bigger. So this time I just sized it up so I could keep them. I walk back to the cave. When I get back to it I go over to the corner and fall asleep.869

-------------------------------------------------------------------870

Chapter 15871

The next three months go by quickly. I give birth to a baby girl. Her name is Rayanna, after her father and great grandmother. I’m in the cave corner now, feeding her. Rayanna falls asleep and I cover myself back up. I wrap the rabbit fur blanket even more tightly around her. It’s August thirtieth now and Rayanna was born just eleven days ago, the nineteenth. I cuddle her to my body. Even though it’s summer again Rayanna has a cold temperature and needs constant warming. Alpha comes over and lays down. I set Rayanna on his legs and he curls up to keep her warm.872

“Thank you Alpha. I don’t know what I would do without you and the pack. You kept me and Rayanna alive when I was still pregnant last year. I owe you my life. I’m in your debt.” I tell him. Alpha just shakes his head and lays it down. A dove comes flying into the cave and lands on my shoulder. I take the note from its leg and open it.873

Sarah,874

I know that by now you’ve had our baby. What is it and what’s its name? I hope it’s a girl. I’ve always liked girls best. Besides, it’ll make me a good father. By the time you get this note we’ll be on our way home with your family. We’ll drop by the police station and tell them that it was just a dumb mistake and we left those things there getting ready for next Halloween before going on a trip and one of our friends misinterpreted it and thought that the things were us. Your family’s safe except we won’t have your stepparents. They got together on the island outside of Bolivia and decided to stay together. Your parents talked through their problems and well, let’s just say that you’re going to be a big sister again. They’re going to remarry and so are you and I since the papers say we’re dead thus we are automatically divorced unless decided otherwise. I love you so much my sweet angel. If you want you can wait at the manor or send this dove there with a note telling me where you are. I love you,875

Ray.876

I stare at the letter in astonishment. They’re coming back early. Alpha nudges my arm and I look at him. Rayanna is starting to cry. I pick her up and hum my lullaby to her softly. Rayanna starts to settle down. I quickly jot down the answers to Ray’s questions and send the dove away with a whisper. Snowy flies out of the cave and I settle back, rocking Rayanna to comfort her. I sit there doing that and humming/singing quietly for hours. 877

When the skies outside grow dark I hear footsteps. I glance up as I hear the younger wolves barking and growling and snarling. Ray is standing in the cave entrance. The new pups, Baby and Biggie, bark at Ray playfully. He just pats the head of all nine young ones and comes in. Ray walks over to us.878

“Is this her? Our daughter?” Ray asks. I nod and smile at him. I stand up and hand Rayanna over to Ray.879

“Rayanna. What a beautiful name. Where did that come from?” He inquires.880

“It’s a combination of your name and my grandmother’s name. Ray Anna. Rayanna.” I explain. Ray nods and kisses me. When he pulls away I caress his cheek with my hand. And then I pull my hand back and slap him. Ray recovers from the shock quickly.881

“Ow. What was that for?” He demands, half angry half hurt.882

“You left and I thought you were dead. You had me grieving for a long time. Because the night after I was told I went to the manor and found a note saying that you went to Bolivia. I was grieving because I thought you would forget about me and never come back.” I explain. Ray hands Rayanna to Alpha and gently takes my face between his hands.883

“Oh, Sarah. How could I ever forget you? I memorized everything about you. The way you walk, talk, what your voice sounds like, how you calm others, the shape of your body, your every feature, and your beautiful face. Every night since you disappeared I went to bed and when I closed my eyes, do you know what I saw? I saw you. I heard you saying to me, ’I love you.’ I could almost feel you. Every night after I came home from another fruitless attempt to find you I was worrying. Were you safe? Were you hurt? Were you dead or alive? Did you get kidnapped? Did you freeze to death? I couldn’t get you out of my head. My father had to reprimand me many times for not paying attention to anything. Don’t ever think that I would forget you angel. You’re too precious to forget.” Ray tells me gently. I bury my head in his chest and start sobbing. Ray runs his hand through my hair and rubs my back to calm me. Ray whispers in my ear words of comfort. When I pull away, Alpha gives Rayanna back to me and lays down. I kneel down and pet him. I kiss Alpha on the nose when he turns to me.884

“I really do owe you Alpha. You kept us alive. I thank you. Goodbye.” I stand up and Ray puts his arm around me. We walk out of the cave and leave. Ray leads me back to the manor, telling me about Bolivia. I shake my head when he asks me if I’d like to go there. Ray laughs just as we reach the manor. We walk inside and up the stairs to our room. I lay Rayanna in a crib by the window. I turn towards the bed to see Ray already laying on the covers in his boxers.885

“So we’re going to do that again, huh?” I ask. Ray grins and nods. I strip down to my underwear and lay on the bed next to him.886

“So, are we really going to do it or just make-out?” I inquire. Ray rolls on top of me and plants a kiss on my neck. I shiver at the cold touch, having not felt it for so long. Ray goes straight to my weak spot and sucks on it. I moan in pleasure and Ray smiles up at me. He presses his lips to mine and, with his tongue, pushes my lips open. After kissing each other for a few hours, we fall asleep.887

-------------------------------------------------------------------888

Chapter 16889

I’m shaken awake. When I open my eyes I see Ray looking at me in worry and I hear Rayanna crying. I get out of bed and throw on a silk housecoat. I walk over to Rayanna’s crib and ease her out.890

“Come on Rayne dear, let’s get you fed.” I tell her. I open my robe slightly and start to breastfeed Rayanna. I can feel Ray’s eyes on my back. Rayanna quiets down and starts to drift to sleep. I lay her back down and pull the robe closed again. When I turn around I find that Ray is staring at me.891

“It was the only way I could feed her in the wilderness. Once you start a baby on the feeding schedule and tool you can’t just switch.” I explain. Ray nods and stands up. He comes over and kisses me gently.892

“We’ve sorted everything out. You and I are officially married again. Your parents went to Florida to get married and Jim and Amanda got married last month. Everything is fine.” Ray whispers. I kiss him passionately. The next few years are going to be fun.893

-------------------------------------------------------------------894

Chapter 17895

“Rayanna Cassidy Jackson you come here right now young lady!” I shout furiously. Rayanna comes over to me warily. Her dark blond hair sweeps over her shoulders and dark blue eyes. The thirteen-year-old girl looks up at me innocently.896

“Yes daddy? What is it?” She asks sweetly. I brush her hair away from her neck to reveal dark, rash-like marks. ‘Hickies’, as kids call them nowadays. I used to give them to Sarah all the time.897

“What’s that?” I demand sharply.898

“What’s what?” She asks innocently. I raise my hand and Rayanna flinches.899

“I was on a date with my boyfriend last night and we were walking through the park. You’ve met him before. Victor.” She explains softly, frightened that I’ll hit her. Victor Price? That boy has been trouble since he came here. He’s fourteen with silver hair and steel-blue eyes, pale skin-paler than mine, and an approximate height of five-foot-ten.900

“You let that boy touch your neck?” I growl angrily. I hate that boy. He’s rude and orders everyone around. He had Selena, our four-year-old, in tears once after telling her that all of here fairy tale creatures-unicorns, the Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, etc.-weren’t real. She’s just a little girl with the looks and attitude of her mother.901

“He’s my boyfriend daddy. He has any privilege he wants.” Rayanna snaps at me. I slap her hard across the face. Rayanna whimpers slightly.902

“You’re not to speak to me like that. That boy has no privilege to touch you however he wants. What if he happened to decide one night that he wanted to mark you as his and got you pregnant? Do you realize what your mother and I would do to the both of you? I’ll explain these things to him when he comes over for dinner tonight. It’s Friday as it is so I can chat with him to make sure he understands. Now go outside and help your brother and sister.” I say sternly. Rayanna nods and goes outside. Kevin-our son-looks and acts exactly like me. He’s seven years old and extremely smart. Sarah comes downstairs and touches my shoulder903

“I’m just as angry about that as you are Ray, but must you be so hard on her? She is a child and this is her first boyfriend. Remember what we were like?” She asks, kissing me softly. I sigh and look Sarah straight in the eye. She flinches and looks at the ground. I must still look angry. I lift her face up.904

“I know. Which is why I’m going to explain the rules to him tonight at dinner. Rayne just said that he has any privilege he wants.” I tell her. Sarah sighs angrily and hugs me. I hold her close.905

“It’s hard having to deal with a daughter that’s a brat. She wasn’t like this until Victor moved here. I think he’s influencing her.” She sighs softly. Sarah’s right. That boy is influencing my daughter and I’m going to get to the bottom of it. I sigh heavily. This is really difficult especially sine Rayanna just turned thirteen. Today is the twentieth of August, 2001. Sarah kisses me again and walks into the kitchen to make dinner for tonight. Rayanna comes back in with Selena and Kevin following her.906

“There. I helped them. Happy?” She says in frustration. A knock comes to the front door.907

“Not quite. Let me get that and think it over.” I reply and walk to the door. When I open it, Victor is standing on the doorstep. I smile at him. A cold, cruel smile.908

“Victor. How nice to see you again. Come in, come in. Sarah and Rayanna are in the kitchen getting dinner ready. Follow me.” I tell him. Victor walks in and I close the door. I lead him into the den like I’ve done 909

many times before. I hear him sigh in appreciation as we reach the den. I close the door and sit down in my armchair as he sits on the couch. He leans back and relaxes.910

“This is perfect. The women are in their place and us men are in our place.” He says. I grind my teeth but keep a pleasant smile. Selena comes running in screaming. Kevin runs in after her holding a frog in his hand. I stand up and hold my hand out to him.911

“Kevin, give me the frog right now.” I order. Kevin puts the frog in my hand and turns to Selena.912

“I apologize for frightening you Selena.” He says. I put the frog into the aquarium tank and sit back down.913

“That’s okay Kevin. I forgive you.” Selena smiles at him sweetly. Just like her mother. Smiling when forgiving a person. Selena comes over and climbs onto my lap.914

“Daddy, when will I be able to help mommy and Rayne in the kitchen? It looks like fun!” She asks. I laugh and ruffle up her hair. Selena says it looks fun because of the knives. They fascinate her for some reason.915

“Not for awhile sweetheart. I’m not letting you anywhere near those knives until you’re at least seventeen.” I tell her. She sighs dramatically and looks at me pleadingly.916

“But that’s thirteen more years! Can’t I help them now? Please daddy?” She whines. I shake my head and set her on the floor.917

“No Selena. Now go play with your dolls unless you went to go to bed hungry.” I tell her. She sighs and leaves the room, aiming a kick at Kevin before exiting.918

“Hey!” He yells and runs out after her.919

“No running in the house unless you want to get your mother started again!” I shout after them. I hear something fall over and break.920

“He did it!”921

“She did it!” They yell simultaneously. I sigh and sit down again as I hear the kitchen door open. They probably broke another expensive vase that I got for Sarah from India.922

“Selena, Kevin! Rooms, now!” I hear her screech in anger. They start whining but are cut off by a loud hissing noise. I hear them scurry up the steps as the closet door opens. Glass chinks together and I hear Sarah mumbling something about that was her favorite vase and those kids are going to get it. I chuckle lightly and Victor stares at me.923

“How can you go without hitting those kids of yours? They’re monsters!” Victor exclaims. That brings back my earlier talk with Rayanna.924

“Ah yes, that reminds me. Victor, if you think that my daughter belongs to you then you’d better back down. If I find you touching her inappropriately then there will be a funeral. That funeral will be yours.” I warn him. Sarah pokes her head in.925

“Ray, no death threats now. You know what happened last time.” She scolds. I grin sheepishly as I remember the Robinson family. They just moved in next door and I had given their son, fifteen-year-old Keith-the same speech. He was never allowed over here again and still isn’t.926

“Right dear. Dinner ready yet?” I ask, changing the subject. She sighs and shakes her head at me.927

“Not yet. Could you boys wait half an hour?” She asks, flashing Victor a forced smile.928

“Sure we can. We aren’t going to starve now. What did they break this time?” I ask her.929

“My favorite vase. That red and blue one that you got for me from Japan. Oh well. It isn’t broken beyond repair but I’m going to have to deal with the kids later. Or do you think I should just make them go to bed now?” She asks uncertainly. We exchange a look.930

“Bed.” We say simultaneously. She ducks out and goes upstairs.931

“How do you do it? How can you be a husband and the father of three kids?” Victor demands.932

“It’s easy if you love them.” I reply simply. I hear whining coming from upstairs and look up. That isn’t either of the kids. That’s Sarah. I tune in my supersensitive hearing and listen in.933

“But Alpha, will you explain to me what’s wrong first?” Sarah whines. Alpha? The shape shifter?934

“Sarah this is important. My wife, she’s injured and only you can help me. You’re in my debt, remember? Ow. Guess I deserved that. But please Sarah. My wife is dying and only you can help her. You can control your powers now!” Alpha says. That’s true. We found out that Sarah’s a mage and helped her get under control of her powers. I hear footsteps running down the stairs. Moments later Sarah poke her head in, already putting her coat on.935

“Ray, I have to go. There’s something I need to do. I’ll be back.” She says briefly and ducks out. The back door opens and slams shut.936

“What was that about? Where does she have to go?” Victor demands.937

“How should I know? Sarah doesn’t always tell me everything.” I tell him. Victor glares at me.938

“You think there’s any use in trying to trick me now vampire? I’m a fire dragon you idiot. That’s why I won’t take Rayne to meet my parents when she asks. My mother’s earth and my father’s sky. There’s no way they’d accept her.” He growls at me. Oh. Well now I know why he’s so rude and mean. Wait. A sky and earth dragon mating? There’s only one couple that I know have done that. My cell phone rings and I pick it up. I flip it open.939

“Hello?” A rather familiar voice comes from the other end.940

“Ray do you and Sarah mind if I come and stay for awhile? My wife and the kids are going to visit her mother and I need a place to work away from my kids. Your kids know not to mess with me but mine don‘t. And besides, your house is closer to Amanda’s mother’s than ours is.” Jim says.941

“Sure you can come. The kids would love to see you again and Sarah’s been complaining about it getting lonely around here. So when’re you coming?” I ask him.942

“Around noon tomorrow sound good?”943

“Yeah. Sounds perfect. I was actually expecting you to say around five or something. I heard from your parents that you rejoined the army. Is that right?” I hear Jim chuckle on the other end.944

“Yeah. They needed my help with some charity work for the army. We were in the Amazon helping out with some homeless children. They knew English so we brought them to some orphanages here. So I’ll see you around noon then. Later.” Jim hangs up and I shut the phone.945

“Who was that? A friend that your wife is attached to?” Victor asks.946

“Sarah’s older brother. He’s in the military.” I explain. Victor’s eyes widen.947

“Really? Oh, that’s awesome! He gets to fight against the enemy in wars!” Victor says. I remain grim.948

“There’s nothing cool about war. It means death and pain and loss.” I say in a monotone. Victor just shakes his head and mutters something incoherent. I sit there, staring into the fire. Minutes later I hear the back door close again.949

I close the back door as I come in. I untie my scarf and take my coat off. After setting them on the window seat I head back into the kitchen. Rayne’s putting together the last of the meal. I hurry over and get the dishes out.950

“I’m sorry dear. I had to help a friend.” I apologize. Rayne shakes her head and smiles. I shake my head. I think each of our kids got a little bit of personality from both of us. The phone rings and I answer it.951

“Jackson residence, how may I help you?” I say cheerfully. Someone clears their throat.952

“Hello Mrs. Jackson. This is Dr. Cline. I have some news for you.” The doctor says.953

“Yes, what is it?” I ask, absolutely curious about what results in my check-up would get my doctor to call me at six o’clock.954

“Your bodily functions are just fine on part of the good note. The other news I have for you is that you’re pregnant, Sarah.” He says. My heart stops beating momentarily but starts up again, sending blood pounding in my ears.955

“Really? How long do think this has been?” I ask nervously, cautiously. I hear the doctor sigh and some papers being flipped.956

“About two months. Have you been having any symptoms lately?” He asks. I think back.957

“Well…I think there might have been morning sickness and craving. That’s about it.” I reply. I hear some more papers being flipped. The doctor sighs again.958

“Do you think you could come back tomorrow around nine? I need to give you another check-up to see if my calculations are correct.” He asks. I nod my head and then remember that he can’t see me.959

“Sure. Nine it is. What should I tell my husband?” I inquire. Rayne gives me a questioning look and I wave my hand at her.960

“Tell him that I asked you to come in for another check-up because I lost your results. So I’ll see you tomorrow.” The doctor hangs up and I put the phone back into the receiver. Rayne looks over at me.961

“Mom, what’s wrong?” She asks. I shake my head and close my eyes. I take a deep breath and reopen my eyes when I hear footsteps enter the kitchen. I look to the door to see Ray standing there.962

“Is dinner ready yet?” He asks. I smile at him.963

“Yeah honey. Dinner’s done. I have to go back to the doctor’s tomorrow. He lost my results.” I lie easily. I keep from flinching with difficulty. Ray notices this and looks over at Rayne.964

“Rayne, why don’t you take everything into the dining room and talk to Victor.” He suggests. She nods and takes the plates. Rayne leaves the room, the door swinging shut behind her. Ray turns back to me.965

“Sarah, you’re lying. What’s wrong?” Ray asks. I shake my head and put on a smile.966

“Nothing’s wrong. Why would you think I’m lying?” I ask in a forced cheerful voice. Ray comes over and takes my hand.967

“Sarah, please don’t lie to me. Now what’s wrong? Why do you have to go back to the doctor’s?” He asks me. I sigh and look down.968

“The doctor thinks that I’m pregnant. He wants me to go back so he can see if his calculations are correct.” I explain. Ray’s hand tightens on mine.969

“I’m fine with it. Did you think I would be mad or something?” Ray asks me, laughing. I feel my face get red.970

“It’s a possibility. I didn’t know how you would react. Especially because you and Victor were at one another’s necks earlier.” I mumble. Ray runs his hand through my hair and kisses my head.