Leaving

I gazed endlessly into the ongoing glow erupting from my television set. Coronation Street was on and "Martin had been having an affair with Rebbecca behind Gail's back." I pondered in my mind what hurt and destruction would be caused by these two love struck fools passion. Did they even consider letting the family know about their dark secret. I thought to myself that would never happen to us. We are happy.1

This is how it started. How my past life gradually deteriorated through my fingers and no matter how much i tried to prevent the gaps, the life just slid through them, like water in a sieve and as i try to retrieve it i come to realise i am fighting a loosing battle.2

It was October the 7th 2000, the year of the millennium, the year i will never forget. It was the October holidays and i had been cantering around on my friends beautiful horse, "Ginny." We had been jumping through mid-air and learning new techniques to show off. All day i had been here and not one minute had gone to waste. I walked back with Leah talking about how much i would desire a horse.3

Eventually after a somewhat tiresome journey, i reached my front door, which beckoned me in, but it was locked. I immediately pounded at the door with my hand to gain an answer. Surely enough the door opened and there before was Nana from down the road. I enquired,4

"Can Leah come in"5

She replied sternly, "Not today sweetheart your mum's a bit upset."6

I knew instinctively that something was wrong. Very wrong. As i waved Leah off i gingerly stepped inside, removing both of my shoes from my feet. 7

My Nana was at the kitchen surface, making a tea for my grandad and mum who were talking quite and cautiously in the next room as though people may be listening. I asked my Nana,8

"Nana whats wrong with mum", I had seen her face tear stained and sorrowful.9

"Nothing dear she has a headache" she replied.10

"Nana I'm 10yrs old i know she has more than a headache."11

This time she hesitated and she careful spun the spoon round in the teacups, " She'll tell you in her own time."12

If that was suppose to reassure me...it didn't. I flung myself onto the kitchen top and fumbled around with something to occupy my mind with. My sister was away in Wales and my brother was at work. My Dad was away at work. He was always away with work, he never seemed to be home for long and when he was he was asleep or out at the pub.13

I couldn't really complain though he brought alot of money into the house and we were not rich, but quite wealthy. He always found a way to treat us, but that was it treat us. Not with love or affection just possessions things that in time i would no longer grow to need.14

The time rapidly altered and it was now 7.30pm my Nana and grandad had just departed and i was beckoned in by my mother. She sat me down in the Red crimson living room. I use to think it was warming, but today it seemed like pain, blood, hurt. She sat me down upon the sofa and then she uncomfortably arranged herself in the armchair.15

I looked up to her eyes, they were bloodshot and tired. Dried tears clenched to her face. Her arms took hold of the cushioning beneath her and hands trembled with fear. I looked up into her sorrowful tears stained eyes. Her lips opened reluctantly as though she didn't really believe what she was telling me.16

"Daddy's...gone away for abit now."17

I gave a puzzling look. Was he working again? How long is he away for when's he coming home. All these thoughts echoed through my mind. "When's he coming home mummy?"18

She paused to think of how to put her words, "Daddy's not coming home, he loves somebody else. They have gone to live together. You can still see him though anytime you like."19

i didn't understand. I just sat there consuming all the words that had just been told to me. Trying to piece together what was wrong? What i had done wrong?20

My mother came to cradle me. I didn't want attention, i didn't want sympathy. I wanted answers and i was determined to get them. I stood up instantly. 21

"Did he ask to see me?"22

Her eyes locked with mine, "Tomorrow."23

Sunday. Sunday was tomorrow. Without a second thought i went to my room and packed my stuff for sleeping at my nans. I always stopped at my nans on a Saturday. 24

I left my mum broken and alone. I gave me mum a sweet kiss on the cheek and sheepishly went through the front door. I didn't understand. Why has he left? My parents never argued? they never had money issues? I just couldn't get my head round it.25

As i rung the door bell my Nana answered her arms spread to hold me tight. I wriggled to break free, i wasn't in the mood for this. I curled up upon the sofa, my mind whizzing endlessly combining so many thoughts. Coronation Street was on, Martin had confessed to the affair, but this time i couldn't say it wouldn't ever happen to me, because it was happening and it was to change the rest of my life.26