Behind those eyes

Violet Shinel was 15 years old, about to turn 16 in just six months. She was the outcast, the sinner, the loser...The one nobody noticed. No matter how hard she tried she never got what she wanted. Every time she liked a guy he would think shes cute, then it would turn out that the boy either likes her friend or her friend likes this boy. Violet was used to getting the short end of everything. Her tale starts on March 8, 2004. She was sitting in her classroom one day when the teacher started rambling on about something. Violet had her CD player in her lap and her hair covering the cord to her earphones, so the teacher wouldn't notice. The clock struck 10:30 and it was time for her lunch hour. She put her stuff away and grabbed her bag, moving down the hallway in no hurry. Some kid came up behind Violet and tripped her. This teen turned around after doing so and looked at Violet, then shouted "Watch where your going loser". Violet sighed heavily then gathered her things and continued to the lunchroom. 1

After about a five in a half minute wait in line, she finally got her food. Violet was so famished because her step mom doesn't cook her dinner, nor does she occasionally buy food at all.(Her dad is always working and never knows that she exists) So she was pretty used to the abuse at school. Violet took her tray of food and walked outside, went over by a tree and sat down to have her lunch. Some jock came over to Violet and asked her if she wanted to go out Friday night. "Sure.." Violet hesitated and smiled, something she rarely does. And the boy laughed, looked back at her and said..."Wow you are gullible freak...Like I would ever date a loser goth like you" Then went back over with his friends. 2

Soon after this, school was out for the day. She walked into her house and her drunken step mother was laying on the couch. "...Fix me some....food Velvet...." Violet looked at her and shouted back "Its Violet and you didn't get any groceries, remember? You spent all your money on booze and drugs." Her step mother replied in a mumbled voice "Don't back talk me you bitch..GO TO YOUR ROOM". Violet cried and went to her room. Poor child was always alone, she decided to give up on her friends a few weeks ago when they lied to her too much and never really showed they cared. Violet sat on her bed and reached into her bag to pull out......her blade. Her one true friend through it all. 3

Violet took this blade and drove it slowly across her left wrist...She cried and watched as it bled. For months, nearly a year she did this after coming home from school. When school finally let out for summer she did this up to three times daily. By the time her birthday rolled around each year she got maybe a shirt from her step mom. No holidays applied to her because nobody ever cared. On May 8, 2005 Violet had cut herself at least 200 times. Her legs, stomach, arms, neck, and even her back were covered in scars. Wounds from what everybody did and didn't say to her.4

She finally couldn't take it any more and she took her blade and cut her arm 12 times. Each wound thickening from 2-4 inches long, and deep enough to bleed forever. Violet Shinel wasn't even 16 yet, and she lay there in her bed. With her arms dripping, flowing of blood. She left a note to everybody that said only this "You never saw me, you never even cared, so now don't you worry, it's as if I was never there". She bled to death. A day later her father came home at 5 in the morning after being at his hoochies house and found her body. She left this way so that they would remember her, notice her for once....and they finally did. The students at her school gave her a memorial and apologized to her on a wall with her face painted on it. All the kids and family and even strangers signed the wall with markers. Pretty much all of the words written on there were "Sorry" and "Please forgive me". Violet taught them a lesson for being ass-holes to her.5