X-Wing - Frozen Memories

Lieutenant Wes Janson smiled slightly as he closed the door and made his way across the room.  He sat at his small table, took the message cube out of the wrapping and turned it on.  The holographic face that appeared lit his entire sparsely furnished room.  He blinked a few times, then leaned back as the woman’s image began to talk.1

“Hi,” she said quietly.  “Bet ya never thought you’d see me again.”2

Wes replied by reaching out and running his fingers through the image, distorting it slightly.  “Where were you?” he finally whispered.3

“I’m sorry that I had to put you through thinking I was dead.  It really wasn’t my choice.”  The image smiled softly.  “I wasn’t at the base when it was destroyed.  In fact, none of us were.”  Wes sat up straight, and stared intently as she continued.  “I really don’t know what happened, and if I did, It would be highly classified…. sorry.”4

“All I remember is waking up a few weeks ago, and being told that it was five years later.”  She swallowed hard, trying to stop tears that threatened to flow.  “All of us did…the entire base personnel.”  The imaged looked down.   “I don’t want to think about why we were held in stasis…it’s too….” She stopped, wiped her eyes, and then looked at him again.  “Five years has passed for you…a nighttime has passed for me, and I have to get used to it.” The image smiled sadly.  “I just wanted you to know that I was alive.”5

The image froze as the message ended.  Wes stared at it for a long time before he got up and paced his room.  The walls spun around as he tried to absorb it all.  Alive?6

He smiled at that, greatly relieved.  Yet five years had gone by for him, and he had eventually moved on, moved past the pain that seemed to blanket him daily.  She had been his “soul mate”; some one he let his defenses down around…someone he didn’t have to be “Janson the Merry Joker” with.  Sure, she laughed along with everyone else at his constant cheeriness, but she also understood the times when he was serious, moody, or even annoyed at something.7

And she was the reason he hadn’t fallen in love since.  The pain he felt was not one he ever wanted to experience again, nor was it something he wanted someone else to feel over him.8

He went to his bunk, fell onto the sheets, and stared at her image.9

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(Five years earlier)11

“Sithspawn!” Janson yelled as his X-wing rocked from the nearby explosion.  He knew he was pushing it by getting so close to the other fighter, but it had been the only solution.  He had let his torpedoes go at nearly point blank range, and counted on his momentum to carry him through the ensuing fireball.  He could hear pings as the superheated metal made it through onto his hull, and prayed to every being there was not to let any of the slag hit his cockpit. 12

As he came through the other side of the inferno, relief swept over him, and he let out a victory cry.  He smiled as voices came over his com system, and looked out his cockpit at his fellow pilots.13

“And now for my next act…” he began, then stopped as he saw his personal message light blink.  He sighed as he switched frequencies.  “Yes, Commander?”14

Commander Wedge Antilles’ voice came across, slightly distorted.  “Congratulations on the kill, Wes,” he said.  “But if you EVER pull a stunt like that again, I’ll have you grounded for a month.”15

“Is that a promise, sir?” Wes asked while trying not to laugh.  “”Cause if it is, then it would be great if you could work it to start next week.”  He paused, imagining Wedge’s frown.  Oh, how he loved to annoy the hell out of his Commander.    “Wanna know why?”16

“Not really.”17

“Tarsu happens to be on base,” he continued. “And having a month off would mean more time for her and I to…”18

“I’m switching back to regular frequencies,” Wedge said, trying to hide the humor in his voice.19

“Wedge?”20

“Yeah?”21

“Do I still get grounded for a month?”22

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As soon as Wes arrived back at the base, and after another informal ‘bitching at’ by his commanding officer, he set off at a run to his quarters.  A quick shower and change later, found him standing outside her quarter's door.  He raised his hand to knock; jumping back, startled as the door opened.24

And there she stood.25

Her eyes were a dazzling blue, brighter than the seas of his home planet Taanab, and bluer than the skies of any planet he had ever been stationed on.  Her hair fell below her shoulders, and alternated between deep brown and black.  Wes loved running his fingers through it, luxuriating in the silky softness.26

“We got back early,” Wes said, “and, uh…” 27

Tarsu replied by grabbing him by the collars and pulling him to her for a long kiss.  He pushed against her slightly, causing her to willingly take a step back as the door slide shut behind them.28

----------------29

She lay in his arms, listening as he told her about the non-restricted portions of the action he had just seen.30

“So, you took on a potentially lethal fighter by yourself?” she asked in a slightly accented voice.31

“All fighters are potentially lethal,” he said quietly.  “But, yes, I did.  I was the only one in position to kill it.”32

She was silent for a few minutes, but smiled and snuggled closer to his bare body as he ran his fingers through her hair.  “When do you leave?” she finally asked.33

He shrugged lightly.  “Couple days…couple weeks…tonight…tomorrow…no idea.”  He kissed the top of her head.  “You?”34

“In three days,” she replied.  “Heading out to set up a new base.”  She blew lightly against his bare chest.  “But, I do happen to have those three days off, since I won’t get any free time when we get there.”35

“What a coincidence,” Wes laughed.  “I happened to have the next three days off too…well, tentative at least, baring any real emergencies.”36

“Remind me to kiss Wedge the next time I see him,” Tarsu teased.37

“Yeah, sure I will.”  He rolled onto his side so he was facing her.  “I love you,” he breathed.38

Her eyes opened wide, then narrowed as she studied his face, looking for the hidden joke.  All she saw was sincerity.  “’Bout damn time.” 39

He reached under the sheet, running a finger up her soft thigh. “Yes, it is.”40

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Three days later found them once again standing at her door.  Wes smiled down at her, kissed the tip of her nose, and sighed.  “In five minutes I’m going to be AWOL. I have to go.”42

Tarsu leaned her head against his broad chest.  “I know,” she whispered.  “You keep safe.”43

Wes smiled down at her, his eternally youthful features back to their usual cheeriness.  “For you, always.”44

She glanced up as his smiling face.  “I'm holding you to that promise.”  She smiled back as his grin grew bigger.  “I love you.”45

“’Bout damn time,” he said.46

“Yes, it is.”47

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Wedge glanced up at the knock as is door, then waved his pilot in.  Wes plopped into the chair in front of the desk, and waited.49

Wedge finished the report he was working on, then leaned back.  “Have a nice vacation?”50

Although it seemed impossible, Wes’ smile grew.  “It was great.”51

“Where’d you go?”52

“Stayed in bed the entire time, actually.”  Wes studied him curiously.  “Why?”53

“On, no reason,” Wedge said, trying to hid a smile.  “Tarsu stopped by here just before she was leaving.”54

“She…did?”55

Wedge nodded.  “Gave me a kiss…said you would know what it was for.”  He laughed as his friend turned a bright red and coughed slightly.  “Suit up,” he said, changing the subject.  “We’re on patrol in 2 hours.”56

“Yes, sir!”  Wes stood, saluted, and hurried out of the office.57

---------------58

Wes Janson rubbed his eyes wearily as he studied yet another read out.  It had been three weeks since Tarsu had left, and he had thrown himself into work to occupy his mind.  He was still the squadron merry maker, but sometimes needed his mind to be busy.  This was one of those times.59

He leaned back, rubbed his eyes again, then decided to take a break.  His personal communicator sounded, and he grabbed for it.  “My office, Wes,” was all that Commander Antilles said.60

Wes stood and walked through the corridors to Wedge’s office.  He knocked on the door, then walked in, stopping at the look on the other man’s face.61

“Have a seat, Wes,” Wedge said slowly.62

“What happened?” Wes said as he lowered his body into the chair.63

“I’ve just received some news, and although it’s classified, I feel that you need…”64

“Just say it, okay.”65

Wedge nodded once.  “The new base Star Fleet Command was working on has been destroyed.”66

“Destroyed?”  Wes could feel his stomach folding in on itself.  “No.” He shook his head.  “It can’t be.”67

“I’m sorry, Wes,” Wedge said.  “There were no survivors.”68

Wes studied him for a few minutes, as the professional parts of his brain took over.  “How?”69

“It was set up on an asteroid,” Wedge began.  “It was…obliterated.”  He stood and walked to the other side of his desk.  “I can see that the files are available to you, if you want.”  Wes nodded absently.  “Look, Wes,…take a few days off.”70

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Wes stared at the walls of his room, not seeing the blandness that seemed to take over everything since he had heard the news.  He shivered slightly, the coldness of Hoth matching his mood, and was glad for the slight distraction. Every time he thought about it, he became nauseous, and angry at whoever had done this.  His heart ached with a pain that he had not felt since the death of his family some twenty years before.72

He had opened his heart to someone, although he had promised himself to never do that.  His profession was full of close calls, and some day he knew that he would not survive one of those calls.  He had seen friends die, and had witnessed their loved ones being torn apart by the grief.  And now here he was, one of those ‘loved ones’.73

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The days and weeks passed, and one day Wes laughed at a joke.  He stopped, temporarily mad at himself for being happy.  Then, he remembered a conversation he once had with a fellow squadron member.   He couldn’t recall the exact words, but they ran along the line of: If I die tomorrow, I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that I have lived more in one day than some have done in a lifetime.75

He ran back to his room, tore open his desk drawer and pulled out the picture of Tarsu and himself embracing.  He ran his fingers along her image. “I’m sorry, love,” he whispered.  “I’ve been only thinking about myself.  I have to turn that anger and pity onto whoever did this to you…so no one else has to live with the heartache.”76

He went to put the picture away, but placed it gently on his desk instead.  He walked to the door, opened it, and left his room in search of his friends.77

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(Present)79

Wes blinked a few times, banishing the past to where it belonged.  He got up, went to the frozen image on the table, and looked through the information to find a return address.  He smiled when he found it, and then turned to his computer to send a message of his own:80

“’Bout damn time.”81

The End82