killing mariana margaret goldshmith

It was my turn to speak. I stood up and cleared my throat. I straightened the sheet in my hand and began to read “Mariana…” It reminded me of the first time I had stood up in class and repeated the same thing. And then I was accustomed to repeat it again and again every year. Yes I’m talking about school. The teachers back then made us do this ridiculous exercise of making a speech in class, during our first week in a new grade; about a friend we loved the most. They believed it sowed seeds of new friendship every year. It was a way to strengthen the bond of the girls at St. Claire’s Academy. 1

I began to read further, “ Mariana, the puckish brat and the heart of my class was also my super hero. I remember it so clearly as if it had just been a day. It was my third day at St. Claire’s; I wasn’t really able to make friends and had spent the previous two days just staring at the girls in ma grade. I occasionally smiled at them. There were all sorts of girls. The ones that always sat together giggling about everything they saw, even in grade four the gossip never ended. Then there were the bullies who walked though the class during the breaks collecting whatever they could from the smaller ones. And then there was Mariana. I had my eyes on her ever since I’d seen her. She was like a little bunny that hoped around all day, sneaking up on other girls, dancing on the benches as if there was a particular tune that played in her head all the time. But I didn’t have the nerve to talk to anyone. Suddenly the bully named Matilda was standing in front of me clenching on to my lunch box. I refused to give it to her. And then without me noticing Mariana was arguing with her too. It looked like she was on my side and when Matilda almost forced out the box from my hand Mariana pushed her. Matilda fell behind, the huge Matilda hit the ground with a loud noise and soon the girls around us were laughing at her. I got my box to myself of course but Mariana had to bear with huge Matilda’s wrath. She was thrown out from our ground floor window into the muck-filled July rain puddle. And just when I thought she was going to cry she rose up from the ground laughing. I was stunned and soon was laughing along. That was Mariana, my first friend, and my best friend.” 2

I looked at Mariana, her face was so still. I had never seen her so calm in a long time. I continued reading, “along the years Mariana was by my side. Someone would have been forced to think that a girl with that kind of name would have been kind hearted, sympathetic and calm. But not my Mariana. She was bold a daredevil at heart and a tigress when someone threatened her or me. But I chose to call her May. To me May was an angel, protective and caring. She was also very supportive, like this one time in grade seven, Miss Claudia Van-Heusen, our literature teacher had marked me a C+ for an assignment I had worked on for weeks. I cried all day. Mum told me I could try harder next time; dad said may be I didn’t understand the topic well enough. But I knew I had done the best any one could. May sat by my side all day and told me that I deserve an A and that Miss Claudia generally didn’t like us and had marked us bad. She said that Miss Claudia would be punished for her act. The next week Miss Claudia didn’t turn up. Later we got to know she had resigned suddenly. But rumor was that she just disappeared one night. May told me that god had taken revenge on our behalf.”3

The next lines I read had more to it then what I was actually saying, “ 10th grade prom was another day May had been for me when Jillian, the guy I was in love with since 7th grade had asked me for prom but didn’t turn up. He called in to tell me he fell down the stairs that morning and couldn’t walk. May took me to prom that night and told me that she would be by my side always. I loved her for all she had done.” I took a moment before I read again this time my face was more intense as I remembered what had happened that night in the tennis court. I had been miserable all the while and wished Jillian was with me. But then suddenly I noticed May wasn’t in the room. I went out to look for her when I heard low screams from the tennis court. I peeped from a corner. To my horror May had a metal rod in her hand and she hit it across someone’s head. She kept repeating it till the body lied there motionless. I ran back home. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. The next morning news flashed that Jillian McGregor was found dead in the tennis court of St Claire’s Academy. I stayed in bed all week and refused to talk to any one. Two weeks later mum decided I needed to see a physiatrist and I agreed I couldn’t keep the truth to myself anymore. 4

He seemed like a nice man. Mr. Jean Reno was a good friend of my parents and had known me since I was a year old. We started talking about school, home, Jillian and May.5

By the end of that day he knew my little secret. He told me to come the next day and he would sought out my problem. 6

When I entered my room that night May was sitting by my bed. She looked angry and held me against the wall as soon as I got in. “so you know what happened to Jillian huh. Well he deserved it. No one can take you away from me. I thought that nosey boyfriend of yours would give it up when I pushed him from the stair but no he came to prom for you. So I made sure you don’t see him ever again.”7

I was shocked I fell down crying, “May you’re my friend how could you kill 8

Jillian. I loved him. I hate you.” 9

She held me back, “so now you hate me. For all those years I had your back. I did all your dirty work. I stood up for you. I killed Miss Claudia Van-Huesen just because she had hurt you and now you hate me. You hate me! Even if you do I will always be with you. And you cannot do anything about that.” I hid under my cover, I had got myself into a huge mess and it was dragging me down. 10

The next morning I checked to see if she was around and then left for Mr. Jeans. 11

I told him about last night. He had a serious look on his face. He told me May was dangerous and that if I didn’t do anything now she could kill me too. I was terrified and was willing to do any thing to get away from her. Then came something I couldn’t imagine. Mr. Jean proposed me to kill May. Get rid of her once for all. I couldn’t do it. I was too meek for it. But he showed me my options. It was either her or me. We planned out the whole thing. It was done I was to kill May. He handed me the knife. 12

I was standing in my room. May stood at the window. Her face looked so humble and when she smiled to me she seemed like a baby but only I knew the ragging monster behind that smile. I ran towards her and struck the knife in her chest. Her eyes widened and blood gushed out from her wound. I was sprayed with her dark blood. I fell back and cried as I saw her body slip out the window. 13

“ Marion Marion… wake up” I could hear Jean’s voice. I looked at him. I still had tears in my eyes. “Is it done? Have you killed her?” I nodded and soon left. I couldn’t sleep all night. Her sick sweet smell haunted my room. I desperately waited for the next day.14

As soon as the cock crowed I put on my black jacket and carried the eulogy I had written all night and left for Jeans. His room was darker then usual. He smiled and asked me, “ready for the end?” I nodded and walked to my usual seat. 15

That was all that happened to May and me. Now I looked back at the eulogy sheet in my hand. I had to complete it and May had to go. Had to go forever. I looked at her and read the last lines, “Mariana Margaret Goldshmith was a dear friend and I loved her a lot. But from this day on she will be remembered for all she has done. And we will move on with life with only memories of her.” saying so I watched as she was drawn down to her grave. 16

“Marion you can come back now” I heard Jeans voice again. He snapped me out of her funeral just like he had done it after I had killed her. I thanked him for being my accomplice in killing Mariana Margaret Goldshmith. And I left to live a peaceful life without her. 17