The Feeling of having a long narrow edged knife piercing you through your open chest. The feeling is bitter at first. But then after, the feeling becomes painfully sweet. The wedges of the knife surprising you with its sharp texture taking you back with only an open breath. It hurts you but you smile. It starts to burn as well but the excitement only arouses you in this situation. You feel the flush of liquid moving through your wound as the knife twists past your organs. You cry…but you smile at the same time. The feeling is an uncanny sweetness but it’s still a bitter taste in your mouth. As the knife is thrust back out, the pain is multiplied twice as the knife exits your wound leaving the damaged cuts to your organs. You flinch a lot but you’re still happy. Your heart starts to drum quickly but slowly at the same time. But for each beat, it gives out a sensation pain deep through its core. You fall to your knees. Your eyes starts to get blurry because of the amount of tears you start to build up. The liquid starts to flush out of your wound. You then feel some of the amount of blood building up inside your mouth. You collapse to the ground and smile as your life ends. 1
You begin to remember everything that you’ve been through. All of the pain. All of the tribulations. Everything that you have been through. Everything. Nothing good had come from it except for a moment like this. 2
You say to yourself….3
“I’m done; thank you….I’m finally done”4
And then you remember.5
All of the people that you have. Everyone that wanted you to live, everyone that strived to make you happy. Everyone that you tried to make happy. All of your trials were all a failure in your eyes, but a success in theirs. You’re a failure but not really. You don’t want to accept the fact that you’re not a failure because deep inside you know you failed. You do not want any pity from anyone. Even though you do. You think hard on that situation but realize that you were living not only for yourself, but for others. Your goal was to change lives. But as you are now, you can’t. 6
You close your eyes. And you remember all of the good times you have ever had. It hurts you more than the wound that was inflicted to you. You realize that you have to live, you just have to live. You have to endure, endure for the sake of you and the others. If you die, then you die for nothing. 7
“I….I can’t die now….I can’t”8
You cry…You cry as much as you ever did. You cry and continue to endure the pain and suffer to change the lives of others.9
Author notes
Purple pigs fly in Texas
um lol...this author notes was for a contest 
so um...yeah
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel Deep by May Kingston.
225 points, ended May 30, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Very sweet. I like how the person considers the good things, and how that pain is worse than the physical pain. Sweetly written.
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I just wanted to say that I read this again...and this time it has a different meaning to me. It makes me think of Ty and others that have lost their lives. It makes me think of our soldiers....everyone who is lying deep in the breast of the ground.
Great write...
-Angel -
Wow! I really liked this. The emotions ran so deep that it really moved me. It did make me feel deep, so I hope you win this contest.
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deep
wow that was deep and disturbing'
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deep man
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This was nicely written. You really did capture the emotions of he situation. Normally, I would add you to the finalist list right away, but I have this OCD thing where I have to wait until there are at least 10 entries (or if the contest is almost over) before I put anything in the finalist list. Anway, great job. I really liked it. Thanks for entering!
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It's a majestic feeling. The feeling that you just put into my soul is amazing... I love it.
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wow so very deep and dark..hehehee i likie
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Made me cringe which I'm sure was your untimely intention. In that case, nice work. Very sad and splattery but in a good way-should that make any kind of sense. Really well written
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Sad but beautiful somehow
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I'm crying right now...what's going on?
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Omg...
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Um I would SO not enjoy being knifed...weird.
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This is some weird story my man. Very werid indeed
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Holy frak.... At certain points I would have chosen slightly different words, but still. Great work.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Wow... I can relate to this... it's amazing. Really amazing. You captured emotion perfectly and strongly, and I liked how you showed both sides of the feelings. Everything was very clear and strong, and I loved it. Brilliant job with the flow of words, and it was nicely paced. I liked the juxtaposition, the different views, and the end two lines were perfect. Amazing piece Keep writing!
~Luck~
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Wow
I love it I can relate in so many ways
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