life after life

in times likes these . men are men .. women - well they aren't all that important .... i watch with the men - a woman dancing around the fire, sending us the message she will be one of ours by the end of the night .. I'm not interested ... most of the men here are afraid of me, I'm so big, taller than any other them, broader too, strong and emotionless ... 1

life cannot be more black and white here, we live so damn cruelly ... kill or be killed, people take from the weak, but no one takes from me2

or my family ... my wife knows to let me be, the kid too ... i have my life, its mine, its private and god knows ill be damned for it ...3

there is one in this town who knows me, the real me ... every moment i spend with him , i crave more ... the town, what do they know, i do not care, they will not challenge me ... in everything i am , all of me loves him .. 4

in ways, the townspeople fear him too ... so unlike themselves ... they have never seen a man like him before ... slightly built, so fair in skin and hair ... and eyes pink! at first i was his protection in a way ... they see us together, i see in their eyes, fear, confusion and relief ... relief that they do not have to converse with him, deal with him ... the town - does not matter ...5

we are at war! we fight over a large field, broadswords clash and rip flesh from them and us ... so quickly the grass is slippery with the stain of blood ... my lover dies in my arms and the pain inside me wells up as i throw myself into the bloody fiend to join him .... but i am not touched ... i am spared ..spared from what , to live without him ... in a life empty till i die from a pain so deep in my heart ....6

i feel the after life ... i see it , i see me .... my lovers face so vivid in my mind ... a rush of feeling goes through my body, pierces each atom of my being to see him again as he opens his arms to receive me ... 7