(This Story Is Based Of An Event That Took Place In Florida at Mcdonalds. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,504125,00.html)1
Another day Another dollar. 2
It was a sunny day at a Mcdonald's in Chicago, IL. 10 customers were lined in front of the cash register. 3
"Um. I Would Like To Have A Big Mac And Lar.." A Male Customer Said to the lady behind the counter. 4
"Sorry Sir, We Ran Out Of Big Mac's"5
The man was disturbed by this. "Wh..Wha..What did you say!?" 6
"I SAID WE RAN OUT OF BIG MAC's!" She yelled out loud.7
"OH MY GOD!" Some lady in line screamed.8
"No..This can't be happening." The Man said shivering9
"Well, we ran out of patties and we won't get any till tomorrow." The worker said.10
"SOMEBODY CALL 911!" 11
6 Kids were crying. "No big mac for us?" A Chinese lady said crying.12
"No Big Mac For you!" The manager with a Hitler mustache said to the horrified Chinese lady.13
The Man 1st in line quickly dialed 911 on his Cell Phone. "911, whats your emergency?" the female operator said. 14
"I'm at the Mcdonalds on Cook street. And The lady said they ran out of big macs!!" The man sobbed.15
An old lady passed out behind him. "Sir? can you repeat that." The operator said.16
He repeated it to her. "Um.." The Lady seemed to have got off the phone. a conversation can be heard on the phone. "Mike, listen to this. Some guy just called us saying that McDonalds ran out of BIG MAC's!!!" 17
"MY GOD!" Mike said shocked.18
The lady got back on the line. "Sir, You wait right there the Paramedics and Police are on their way."19
"Why would you call 911? we just ran out of big mac's and meat. We'll just give you your money back." The Cashier said.20
"We are not taking your heathen money!" a Man said. 21
"Fine! NO MONEY FOR YOU!" The Hamburger Nazi said.22
"Are you guys blind? We are giving out refunds!" The cashier said.23
"Oh, great blind jokes!" A blind man said. 24
Distant sirens could be heard. "I'M SERIOUS WE CAN GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY BACK! JUST CALM DOWN." The Cashier said furiously.25
"NO.. This Is Insane.. I'm..I'm..Going to kill myself!" a Emo teenager said running to the bathroom. A Gunshot could be heard from the Men's bathroom.26
The Police arrived, along with the Paramedics. " Just what the hell is going on here?" the police chief said.27
"They ran out of big macs!" a crying 4 year old said.28
"OMG! I'm freaking out =( lol!" a preppy blond girl said. 29
The Police chief held his chest in pain, he groaned and collapsed. "He's going into cardiac arrest!" a Paramedic said. 30
The EMT's and Police quickly left to the hospital.31
"This is horrible!" a old man said.32
"What are we going to do now?" a crying man said.33
"SOMEBODY CALL THE FBI! THE CIA! GOD HELP US ALL!!!!" a man said with a fem voice.34
"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!" Some person said.35
"Okay people... quit overreacting, we are handing out refunds! and I don't want to hear any whining!" the cashier yelled.36
"NO WHINING FOR YOU!" The Hamburger Nazi said.37
"Dis ain't cool fam!" some person yelled.38
"I Can't take this anymore! I'm calling the FBI!" a soccer mom said.39
The lady called the Chicago FBI office. 40
"If NOBODY HELPS US SOON, I'M GOING TO START TAKING HOSTAGES!" a Sociopath said.41
"idk what to do, my bbf Jill! lol!" The Prep girl yelled.42
The blind man's dog barked.43
"Hey. I just called the FBI. They are on their way!" The soccer mom said.44
"THE FBI ARE LIARS!! ITS ALL A CONSPIRACY!" A paranoid man said. 45
"ITS TO LATE WE ARE ALL DOOMED!!!" someone yelled.46
"Help us GOD! Help us Chuck Norris! Help us Hannah Montana! Help us Oprah! Help us Rosie O'Donnel!" Another person yelled.47
"NO HELP FOR YOU!" The Hamburger Nazi said.48
Helicopters headed over the McDonald's. The FBI stormed the roof, They carried guns. "Whats Going on Boss?" an field agent asked. 49
"McDonald's ran out of Big Mac's!" the ASAC said.50
"O Dear God!"51
"Alright men! we have to kill everybody in the restaurant! Nobody Can't hear about this Big Mac Pandemic. The country will panic!" The ASAC Said.52
"Sir including the children?"53
"Yes..especiallly the children."54
The FBI ran inside. Pointing their guns at the customers. 55
"Oh no you don't. I'll bust your faceass, fam!" a customer said.56
"Alright! Fire away!" The ASAC said.57
Blood spattered everywhere, The customers (Including the dog) and even the FBI were dead. Only the cashier and the Hamburger Nazi was left unharmed. 58
"How Did The FBI Get Killed?" The Cashier said.59
A truck could be heard outside. It was the Mcdonald's delivery truck. It pulled up to McDonald's. Inside was a whole stock of hamburger patties.....
A contest entry
- Come, Make a Difference! Let's laugh a story together :D by caitecola.
175 points, ended April 5, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Easy as 1...2...3 by vamplover22907.
100 points, ended May 16, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Laugh by Adinatak.
175 points, ended June 18, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything, And Everything. by andhearts. ox.
115 points, ended June 24, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes by Unice the geek.
160 points, ended June 24, 59 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - KING OF HUMOR... by tj-is-back.
175 points, ended August 16, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - A healthy dose of Humour!!! by Farhan.
160 points, ended August 23, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
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275 points, ended August 25, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Random stories, quotes, words and poetry! by Clary--Selene--Tayy.
160 points, ended October 7, 28 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - I Want Something That Is Amazing! by lesbian-in-love.
600 points, ended October 21, 49 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short stuff (<1000) by Vanilla King.
350 points, ended October 31, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The sky is the limit...if you let it be by CeCeRainbow.
115 points, ended October 29, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - anything to keep my attention.... by ExpectingMommy18.
550 points, ended November 1, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Poor Fool He Makes Me Laugh by leolord5235.
125 points, ended November 14, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Laugh, 'Til I Cry. by Schnitzel.
475 points, ends November 30, 38 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Boredom.... by blackvamp.
175 points, ended November 8, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Hit me with your best shot... by Serenity Blackheart.
1101 points, ended November 16, 23 entries
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150 points, ended November 21, 35 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 92 of 92
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Ahh, i didn't really find this funny, but then again i haven't been in the greatest mood lately. Anyways, this is pretty good, but repeatitive and... well, a little forced.
Sorry for the really late comment.
and,
Thank you and good luck, Schnitzel
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This was hilarious beyond belief!! XD I can imagine everyone who was involved very clearly, despite the lack of description. A typical line at McD's turned into an incident involving the FBi and everyone else, then with the truck with the hamburger patties... it's utterly priceless. That's all I can say.
What I do have to poke at is the punctuation usage in the story, in particular at the neglect of commas in dialogue. I will forgive the excessive use of 'said' mainly because it is suitable for this type of story. A lot of instances where you have written full stops should be replaced with a comma.
["Why would you call 911? we just ran out of big mac's and meat. We'll just give you your money back." The Cashier said.] --> "Why would you call 911? [W]e just ran out of [B]ig [M]acs and meat. We'll give you your money back[,]" the cashier said.
You've definitely made my day
I loved this!
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THIS WAS FUCKING HILLARIUS! I KNEW IT WAS FUNNY BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW FUNNY! I THINK IMA THROW UP I'M LAUGHING SO HARD! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD THIS SORT OF OVERLY HORRIFYING FUNNINESS TO RIGHT ABOUT! No offense. I loved it, thrhough and through. The Nazi was beyond amazing. Everything was beyond amazing. I am proud to call myself your friend, the friend of the person the wrote this excuciatingly hillarious story of the day Mickey D's ran out of patties.
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that was hilarious! I personally don't care for Mc. Donalds. I worked there for a year and now I can't stand the smell of it lol
This was just to funny! -
Oh, twist endings!
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Nice story
Very nice story, and it was very funny! I can't think of anything wrong with it
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Absolutely classic! Well done! All those trophies are well deserved.
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OH MY GOD, WHAT *REALLY* HAPPENED?! !
*falls over laughing* As funny as it was, it was ACTUALLY well-written.. Hmm.. Nice job!
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XD *falls over laughing* Dear God. This really happened? I love the emo kid, the random person yelling "Help us Hanna Montana, Oprah.." and I love the ending. xD OMG. I love it. Thanks for entering my contest.
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Thank you for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Haha
This was pretty good. I really liked how you give the reader the feeling that everything is going to be horrible, then in the very last sentance, everything is solved =]
Good job!
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Hi blackvamp!
Thank you for reading! Have fun with your contest.
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aw I like it, it's so funny!
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O...M...G!
I don't think I've laughed so much in a while!
This was some story!
I mean, it was great! It was darn funny! -
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Hi Cecile!
Thanks for reading and hosting the contest! -
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Hehehe..
Thanks for making the story xD
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Lol!! xD
God, that made me laugh so hard, and I'm in a public place! xD
The randomness and silliness was great xD The part that made me laugh the hardest was the blind man getting offended.. So random it caught me off-guard.
Spelling and such could be fixed, I think it would improve the story.
Thanks for entering!
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Hello Vanilla King!
Thank you so much for the honorable mention, and It was fun to be apart of your contest. You had good winners!
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I just thought it was stupid to be honest.
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The Chicago FBI would be CBI, look it up. This is a silly/stupid write. Boo!
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Well that would be the point, but who really cares about 'CBI'? Its supposed to be a funny story, without details. Did you really take this seriously?
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Wow, that's like totally stupid, that didn't REALLY happen did it? Anyway, enjoyable, good job!
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Wow this was interesting. Made me laugh so that's a good thing. People can overreact at the littlest things. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest.
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This was okay, some was pretty funny. I think you used too much stereotypes and stretched the 'true story' part too far. But, otherwise nice write.
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LOL!!
that's hilarious!! didn't quite like someone o the "nazi" and "morman guy" parts, but i was laughing soo hard!! thanks for entering! -
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Thanks for reading, the names were just stereotypes. Which I find hilarious. Thanks for hosting the contest!
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HAHA that was hillarious made me laugh soo much...
made my day thank you! -
No matter how many times I read this I laugh like mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why? Cuz it's AWESOME!
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Funny....great customer reactions...I wonder in any other 'emergency' the intensity of people 'od be missing!!! he he good one.
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My brother and I stopped at the same Burger King on three separate occasions when they ran out of burgers- I know the feeling well. Nice use of Seinfeld and Talladega Nights references- a joy to read.
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Beautiful!!! I would write everything I loved about the story, but then I might as well copy and paste the whole thing! Genius!
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Ha ha very very funny! Loved how it was based off a true story. I don't even like Big Macs, but I loved the story!!!
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Oh god, this was HILARIOUS with all letter capital. Yes, like that. Exceptionally funny story, and I just LOVE how well it progressed. The dialogue is great - some really funny touches.
Love the Hamburger Nazi, the prep girl 'lolling', the suicide -- all coming together to a dramatic finale. Great great job. My only critcism: the grammar, punctuation was terrible. It would be so much better if you could just take the time to fix some errors, put in some effort ...
Anyway - I laughed out loud!
P24: LMAO!
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Hahaha!!!
Very funny. You wrote very well. You made me LMAO. I am surprised that it is based on a true story. But i need an explanation also. Why did the FBI died???
Anyways,good work and good luck with the contest.
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ahahahahahahahaahahhahhahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ahahahahahaahahahahahahahahhhahahahahahahahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah lmao!!!!!!!!!!!! that was funny as!
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Okay. I've read this before. It was in one of my earlier contests, I believe my first one ever, In Need For Good Stories, held way back in april or early may, and I still remember it. You should be proud!!! Go preppy girl!
~Marisa -
hehehe, I can't belive this was based on a really story! good job and good luck in my competition!
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that was histarical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol x 1000000000000000000000000000000. that was the first funny one i have read so far!
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Love it!
Loved it! So funny. The best laugh of the day for me.
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This is great! Love it, totally hilarious
GOOD LUCK
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That was hilarious, and it was a bit over the top, but still funny! The blind man and preppy girl were hilarious!
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Oh wow this was great. I love the Hamburger Nazi!
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I so enjoyed reading this. It was slightly over the topic, but funny none-the-less. Seriously, I liked how all the characters piped up at a particular moment; like the blind man. XD I do hope you decide to write something else like this. Keep up the great work!
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I so enjoyed reading this. It was slightly over the topic, but funny none-the-less. Seriously, I liked how all the characters piped up at a particular moment; like the blind man. XD I do hope you decide to write something else like this. Keep up the great work!
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Okay, it was very funny. Just a bit over the top, but funny.
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I loved this! It was so funny! I don't care if you had spelling errors, I laughed my ass off! Good work!
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....Oh my God....
This was AMAZING! And the title is what dragged me in. I may be a vegetarian, but I laughed so hard when I read this. It was pure poetry. xD
The end...Oh dear... I LOVED IT! Bloody scenes are mahh thaaang. xD Good job on this, and hopefully you write a sequel. xD
Where the people come back to life...
"AYYEEE WANT MAHH...BIG MAC....UUUURRRRGGGHHHH..."
...Sorry...I'm hyper... xD
GOOD JOB!
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Umm, just an edit: Line 43, its not bbf, it's bffl.
I love it, I love the nazi especially.
"No big mac for you!" -
kind of made me smile, not that funny...I guess i'm a hard audience.
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That was hilarious.
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could not stop laughing
The sad part of it all is that I live in Florida and my husband just told me that this really did happen. But I guess the problem was they wouldnt give refunds. Im ashamed to live in Florida now, lmao. I laughed the whole way through it. This was exactly what I needed to start off my storywrite evening. Anyways, my favorite line from the whole thing was "How did the FBI get killed?". Keep up the great writing. You great talent.
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Hahahaha!
The whole time I read this, constantly thinking 'WTF?'
I love this!
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SO FUNNY! I love it!
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This is so hilarious! At first I was all, "This is stupid!" but now I'm still laughing!
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thats jacked up. Beyond Belief.
I love it.
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Oh my God that was so random!!! lol
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Okay. I was curious--I had to read it once I started because it was funny. It needs some work but,I like the way you wrote it and you get Kudos for that.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Oh God help us all indeed, fantastic really! You had me giggling all the way through, I have to say my favourite line was: "How Did The FBI Get Killed?"
Thanks for the gigglefest... just what i needed tonight!
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wow... I dont have anything to say. It... was hilariously weird.
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HAAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAH! that was hilarious. funniest thing i have read in a while. well done!!!
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Interestingly Interesting
That's pretty spectacular, how you done this very creative story. I like how you explained how it's based on a true story and how ridiculous they are. Lol! Um... I hope you win the competitions this is a great cheering up story. Once I'm going to have to tell my friend to make her smile. Thank you for posting something too, nobody's posted much in awhile.
Cheers and congratulations *Serebear*
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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This is hilarious! Good luck in the contest...
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haha, I found this very funny, lots of fun too
Keep writing -
This is based on a true story? Just the running out of mig macs part, though, right? Anyways, this was a wonderful story, very funny, and very creative. It made me laugh!!!!! Great job!!!!!!!
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OMG! that was awesome, i totally laught alot *LOL* this is very creative, what do you think will happend with a burger king?
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ha ha ha, great story! Loved it. Want more!!!!
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Used to work at McDonald's would have loved to see something like this. Cool story
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LMFAO
Holy crap.
That's just amazing that it's based off reality.
I'm more flabbergasted by the fact that they ran out of patties. xD
The oddball chaos was funny as Hell, just the kind of thing I was looking for with this contest.
There were a few things I saw that should be changed. Mostly spelling and punctuation - there might be others, I was giggling at some parts.
p17 - "...to have got of the..."
Should it be "...got hold of the phone."? Or is that 'off'?
Also, the sentence following that one is weird. Might want to change it.
p24 - "Oh, great blind jokes!"
Should be, "Oh, great, blind jokes!"
p32 - "...a old man said."
'...an old man said.'
p47 - "to" should be "too".
p50 - 'an' should be 'a'.
p53 - "Nobody can't..."
Should be 'can'.
Funny write, thanks for entering and good luck. ^^
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Wonderful
Great stuff I think you really captured the ludicrous nature of some of the crap that's happened in the news lately.
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hey so great i had to nominate it!
i nominated it for spotlight on the front page! And it's there so congrats and great write!
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That was the most funny story ever! I can't stop laughing. Nice.
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Really. This is great. I hope you win all the contests you've entered. I really hope you twisted some details, because if it actually happened in some place, I don't want to go there.
Saffron.
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GREAT WRITE
It was hilarious! You covered so many different personality types and how they would react! and the Hamburger Nazi was HILARIOUS!!!! This a great story! What a write! Great job and great imagination!
plot: 5, characters: 5.
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I laughed O.o
Yeah, I actually laughed...it was at the part "Especially the children" ... the whole story is random and wrong, but that phrase combined with the Hamburger Nazi, I don't think there's anything that wasn't covered. To be honest, I couldn't stop reading, I had to know what was coming next, because I couldn't guess ahead, so I had to read the whole thing.
Good work! \o/
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LOL! It was outrageous funny! Help us Hannah Montana! LOL!!!!!!!!! I fell of my seats when the FBI chief suggested killing everyone! LOL Great job!
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wow.. that was random and for some odd reason I can see that happening
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ummm
messed and funny -
this is completely amazing.hahahaa\
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Random, But Good
This was the second most random story I ever read in my life AND finishing it. The first one was the winner of this Random Contest. I was cracking up the whole time! You did good.
Good luck and thankyou for entering. -
Very strange and random, but weirdly believeable if all the chips were to fall just right. I could just see this as some MadTV episode down to the blind man and his guide dog. You need to watch where you use capitals - you used a lot in some odd places in this piece. It was amusing, but I didn't find it LOL funny, but I am twice your age, so kudos for the effort.
Thank you for your entry in ALMOST ANYTHING GOES... if you're 16 or younger and best of luck with your further writing endeavours!
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ADM man. If I end up getting an asthma atack from reading this I wil virtually kick you in the shin. God this was funny, big macs.
Personally I am a BK girl. I cnt say no to the double whopper and the BK Oreo Sundae Shake.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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This was awesome! It was funny and gave me images in my head. This would make a great short film.
I like how everyone was going crazy since McDonalds ran out of patties. I wonder what would happen if that DID happen haha.
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Something like this happened in real life? This was hilarious, I laughed the whole time when I read this story.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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Its really funny to try and imagine all of this going down, I laughed the whole way, but I think it sounds a bit repetitive, in the sense that a person talks, you describe who they are then said is used in nearly every one. I know this is just supposed to be funny so I applaud you!
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OMFG! That was HISTERICAL! Man, my brother and I were laughing the entire time. I loved the preppy girl the most, that was brilliant. Goodwork.
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lol! Okay that was awesome! I can't take it that was too funny. Why did they kill them? They said there would be more tomorrow! I mean at first I thought they were overreacting but then...
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Ok, this was hilarious because.. haha I work at McDonalds on the cash register. It's not the most pleasant job either, and I just pictured myself standing there watching all this go down. OMG... I laughed so hard. That was great.... good stuff. I hate McDonalds. haha That was funny. Great job. haha Thanks for entering.
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awesome
lol i thought that was fularious. it wudn't bother me much though, i hate big-macs but i wud b devastated if they ran out of mcnuggets.
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Ha ha! That was hilarious! So this was based off of a real life event? What is the world coming to...
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At first I was going to say NO COMMENT FOR YOU! but I decided against it, instead I will tell you that I really liked your story, and I think that you have some really cool story ideas.
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very awesome.
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lol this is very wierd and random, very funny. This is written in the a very similar way i did with one of my stories "Wierd Things Happens On Your First Day At Work". Anywayz good job! I liked it very much.
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