Song's of an Angel - Chapter 1 : Home

Two weeks and three days later…1

A man was seated reading the newspapers headline that said ‘The Murder in the Streets of New York of Wife of Billionaire Valentine Miller and Reporter Jennifer Fenech still a mystery’ man sighs and goes to his telephone “Martha is Sr. Volcan arrive?”2

“No sir, Sr.Vol—oh! Part me sir but he just arrive”3

“Please send him in immediately”4

“Yes right away Mr. Valentine” Mr. Valentine was a famous businessperson from England that came to check on some problems that were happening in his factories. 5

Mr. Valentine turns when he hears the door to his office open and offers his hands to Volcan “Ah! Sr. Volcan is good to see you again”6

Volcan steps more closely to the man, but doesn’t shake his hand “I came for my money that’s all” 7

Valentine clears his throat and hides is hands “I can see that” He chuckled and from under his desk, a suitcase appeared “since the moment I saw you I always knew you were a business guy only” Valentine opens the case to reveal millions dollar bills of a hundred.8

Volcan then moves to check the suitcase, grabs a pack of the money, and looks at it. After checking the pack he then nods and puts it back on the case and seals it.9

“Before I go Mr. Valentine… what were your reasons for wanting to kill your wife?”10

Valentine laughs aloud and says “Simple. That dirty bitch was stealing my money. She was making her own account from my money and she also was trying to seduce my son” he seats and with an evil grins finish saying “I had no choice”11

With a simple nod, Volcan leaves the office withough saying a word.12

“My lady we are here” said the driver as he came to a stop in front of what use to be Jennifer’s house “are you sure you want to do this…I mean Miss is just so—”13

“Don’t worry Mr. Baker, my sister let me her house in the testament…besides this was our parents house in the first place” said Angel Selene Fenech, she was Jennifer’s younger sister by six years. Angel physically looks much like her sister, that had freckles and her hair was reddish. However, in tone of color hair, there was a tremendous difference. She had a light brown hair that was from their mother side of the family and no freckles.14

As she open the door, Mr. Baker came running and held it open completely and help her out “Miss is my job to open your door, so please let me do it”15

“Nonsense, Mr. Baker you are my friend and my driver, only because there are things I can’t do. Doesn’t mean you have the need to be on top of me all the time you know” Angel said while pulling out a stick from the car. She was blind and with the help of the blind-stick she walks up the stairs to the little porch of the house “for example for this…can you help me open the door?” She giggled and held the keys in the air for Mr. Baker.16

Immediately Mr. Baker came with a big smile, grab the keys and open the door. As they both proceed inside Angel began to touch everything in her path. First, the furniture, then the books that were in the living room, the staircase that was after the living room “Ups! I’m going to need to get use on going up the stairs” she giggle as she continued to examine the area. 17

Then Mr. Baker clears his throat “are you still sick Mr. Baker?”Ask Angel.18

“Oh, no, no my lady is just that…I was thinking. Are you sure, you want to move her? I mean you will be on your and all…” Mr. Baker was worried about her really deeply. He always said that Angel was just like his daughter and that he didn’t wanted nothing bad to happen to her.19

“Oh don’t worry I can take care of myself and you know it”20

“But what will happen when you get hungry or when you need to bath and change clothes? There will be no one to help you!” Mr. Baker said franticly.21

“Well I know how to cook I just need to be really careful like I always am when I cook or I can call to order food from outside. And about the bathing and changing clothes, I have always done that so you don’t need to worry at all”22

As she continued to memories everything that was in the house, Mr. Baker went outside to get the suitcases out of the car. After finishing her scanning around the house, she sat on one of the kitchen chairs, waiting for Mr. Baker to put everything of hers in what use to be her sisters room.23

Angel miss her sister deeply even thought they didn’t get along well, she still love her. Moreover, that was enough for her to miss. As she sat there waiting, she began to remember everything that she could about her sister, but the only thing that came to her head was the night that the police came to her house to tell her what had happen to Jennifer. This was the second deepest pain she had ever felt in her entire life; the first was when her beloved mother die when she was only fourteen years old.24

Angel sighs and all of a sudden, she heard some birds singing. There rhythm was synchronized in a way, but still different. When the birds finish, and begun to sing again she whistled with them remembering there tone and melody.25

Mr. Baker came then by the door that went to the living room “what are you doing Miss?” 26

“I’m singing with the birds that are in the house” she continued then to sing.27

Mr. Baker began to eye her with a look like ‘what are you talking about?’ “Miss, what birds?”28

She giggled and said, “There are some birds around the house singing and I’m hearing them right now”29

Mr. Baker began to look for the birds and found nothing “did you check outside?” says Angel.30

He went to the backyard and jackpot! There in the corner of the porch was a cage with two canaries. Mr. Baker examines the canaries and brings them inside “Well, I don’t know how you heard them, but these little fellows must be starving. There bold is empty and I can bet that they had been eating the spared food that fells on the bottom of the cage” Mr. Baker puts the cage beside Angel and then starts to look for the bird food around the kitchen, but ends up with nothing “guess I will go buy some, do you mind if I…”31

Angel was playing with the canaries by whistling to them. What she was whistling was slightly different from what the birds were singing before, but this one’s was more peaceful, but it also sounded like a hard symphony “No, I don’t mind” she smiled and he left.32

Angel began to touch the cage trying to see were the little door was “Well at least let me try and change your water” when she found the little gate, she try to open it, but it took her minimal a minute to do it. She pick the little bold of water, that was empty, from the cage carefully, close the gate smoothly and turns to begin her way to the sink.33

When she reaches the sick, she cleans the bold and fills it with water again. She didn’t know what relief she was going to give to the canaries. They had been almost a week and a half without drinking water. For a bird that is too, much to beard and the only way that they manage to keep themselves alive was because they had eaten their eggs. When she put the bold back inside, the canaries move straight to the bold and began to drink the water none stops, to the point of almost suffocating with it.34

Mr. Baker had not returned after waiting for five minutes and all of a sudden, she hears the door of the front opens “Is that you Mr. Baker?”35

“Yes!” as soon as he enter the kitchen, he places a big bag of bird food on the ground and exhales noisily “Oh my goodness, you don’t have a idea how long was the line to pay”36

“Don’t worry, I can just imagine it” she chuckled.37

Mr. Baker smile toward her, forgetting that she was blind. No matter how many years he knew here, he always did the same thing repeatedly. He began to pace to the cage “you put them water? That was fast” he said this while he grab a hold of the bold of where the food was suppose to go.38

“Actually it was fast because you were…late? No that’s not the right word—oh you sluggish!” Angel stood up and move slowly to the stairs, remembering everything that was in her way toward them.39

Surprisingly, just when she made her way to the stairs a phone started ringing in the direction of the kitchen. Angel remains in front of the stairs listening to Mr. Baker.40

“Hello this is—why hello there Marisa, how are you? Well right now, I am working, but I am free at four… I really don’t know if I can, like I said right now I am working…”Angel glower.41

“Mr. Baker if you need to go you can leave. I can stay alive an entire day on my own…” she said with a smoothly sarcasm.42

“But miss…” he came from the kitchen and stood a few feet away from Angel “I can’t leave you right know; you haven’t even…”43

“Mr. Baker, is okay I can take care of myself, now off you go and I do not desire for more ‘buts’ okay”44

Mr. Baker began to prepare to reply her, back he back down and didn’t do nothing. With a low growl, he said, “okay then…I will, uh see you when you call me again. So farewell” Mr. Baker pet her head and she hug him back. Blood did not bond them, but the love of father, daughter that was created between them did—, and that was enough.45

“Oh before you go …can you close the door when you leave, please” she said when he turns to leave. He nods before he slid to the door—again forgetting that she was blind— and before closing it, he lock the door from the inside. Since, he didn’t have keys to the door himself.46

Angel was now alone in the house; the only sound that was present was the singing of the canaries. She groans and begins to march up the stairs slowly. Counting the number of rows that lay in it. She needed to know everything about this, because from now on this was going to be her new home.47

Author notes

( I will be editing somethings, but right now lets leave it this way XD)

what do you think?

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Reaver Greeters member
    June 13

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    Wonderful Job :)

    Hello!

    This is a very good beginning to what seems to be a wonderful story from you I enjoyed your dialogue and desription throughout and enjoyed the tone of each character. You seem to have this all set and ready to go, so best of luck with it!

    Grammar Stuff ↓
    → Don’t forget your punctuation. ‘,’s after sentences and ‘,’s where needed in dialogue…you missed quite a few of these, but I think it was just your style of write. Don’t forget to correct it in proofing.
    → In 6, I think you missed ‘it’ in the dialogue, not sure.
    → there is some tense issue here and there as well, with verb confusion and long sentence structuring, but all of this can again be fixed during proofing.
    →In 12, withough should be without.
    →In 18, your write ‘Ask Angel’ when I think it should be ‘asked Angel.” Again with mechanical grammar stuff that can be fixed later when you are ready for drafting.
    → There is a very long sentence in 31, 32, 33, 42, 43, 44, 45 – these can be fixed with adding punctuation.

    I’m sorry, I just enjoy editing slightly. I know in your AN you say you will edit later, but i just noted small things as i read.
    I look forward to seeing where this story goes !
    Keep writing!
    Rian

    • THANK YOU SOOO MUCHH RIAN!!! on the Contrary, you get me really happy by just saying Hi and posting here what you think. And I get even more happy that you put the Grammar stuff XD I want to get better in my writing and this is helping me alot X3 Thank you!! ♥


  • onaya3
    March 19

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    Nice build up of tension, mystery and plot development...

    ...excellent use of the canaries, as they functioned as a subplot in a way; or a contrast of something sweet and nice against the heavy build up of danger around them. Joss Whedon used to do something similar with the funny one-liners in Buffy. The world could end, but then a funny one liner could change the whole perspective. The canaries in your story are like finding a teddy bear in airline wreckage after a crash. They make excellent imagery of a candle surrounded by darkness

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.

1 - 5 of 5