Letter Progression.

Gabe writes his reply on a torn-out page from William's diary. Gabe makes a point of scribbling out William's lovesick doodles - hearts surrounding Gabe's name, an arrow-struck heart with "GABE 4 WILLIAM!" written enthusiastically on it. Gabe knows he shouldn't have even been looking at William's diary in the first place, but it was either steal from William's diary or use the back of a taco bell receipt for paper. He writes in his typical block-letter messy scrawl, in black marker pen that means he has to space everything out and use both sides of the sheet, and even then the ink seeps through to the other side in places, making it blotchy and a bit difficult to read.1

***2

He's sober, and this time he writes on another torn-out page, this time from William's official lyric notebook. William doesn't doodle in any of these so there's nothing to scribble out, and he writes it in green biro in the same messy all-capitals scrawl, switching to a red biro halfway through when the green one runs out.3

***4

Gabe finally buys himself a notebook, decides if they're going to make this habit, he can't be stealing from William all the time. He can't think of a reply at first so he scrawls Bon Iver lyrics around the edges in his familiar all-capitals, writes the words to [i]Skinny Love[/i]. He's moved to black biros now. When he's done he scribbles out the words half-heartedly, and writes his answer in the space that's left over.5

***6

He's still using the notebook, but he keeps re-phrasing sentences and words so there's a lot crossed out and wrecked on the sheet, black splodges of scribbles where Gabe has thought of a better way to say something. Brendon makes his thoughts trip over themselves, makes them realise they could be better, Brendon makes [i]Gabe[/i] want to be better, and Brendon makes Gabe feel guilty for everything he's ever done. He almost writes it, he almost tells Brendon how [i]you ruin me in the most beautiful way[/i], but he can't quite manage it.7

***8

He finally gets a stationary kit, with a neat fountain pen and he learns to make single strikethroughs on his mistakes instead of over-inking it all. The paper is nice and smells faintly of lemons, in a way that makes Gabe huff and sneeze before he writes. It comes with thick envelopes, and when Gabe writes the adress on the front in capitals, that's all he writes in capitals. The rest he writes in his best soft handwriting, to match soft words and thoughts. It's quieter. Gabe thinks loudly, so he writes it too, but these are the kind of words Gabe thinks he would like to say to Brendon in a hushed, dark room, with lips close to ears and hands on hips. Instead all he has is beautiful stationary and an ex-oh to show his affection, just incase the words don't capture it right.9

***10

This time it's back to messy scrawl, because Gabe's writing in the dark by the light of the moon, squinting as he writes lop-sidedly on a ripped out page from the back of a hardback novel - one of those random clean pages. William shifts and snores lightly beside him. Gabe doesn't want to stop writing. It's routine, part of him now, and he thinks he will miss it, if he has to stop. If it means he has to do it in the dead of night with William asleep beside him, then he will. If he has to hide it then he will. Privately, he wonders why he's still with William, why he apologised and promised (with crossed fingers) to not write Brendon again.11

***12

Gabe doesn't write back, not in the traditional sense. He sends a sketch, a tall silhouette with a slightly shorter silhouette, turning away in distraction to kiss one another as a heart-shaped balloon floats away from them. He draws little arrows to the figures - to the taller one, "ME", to the shorter one, "YOU", then in block letters beneath the sketch, "SOMEDAY".13

***14

He's back to the stationary kit, still writing in the dead of night though. He inserts into the envelope a bright red paper heart. Block letters on the heart: "YOURS".