A Letter With Love

Dear Me,1

I know this mail2

Must find you good.3

With not a reason to wail4

And everything understood.5

6

Hope that innocence is fine7

Sparkling in those eyes of mine ?8

How about that chubby cheek9

Hosting a dimple, sublime and meek ?10

How is my stunning smile 11

Away from which, I crossed a mile ?12

Hope they all are good13

Worldly things understood !14

15

I miss them all16

With feelings concealed within a wall,17

Now, even myself, I fail to understand18

My emotions, week and dreams not grand.19

Then I was, with a word to all20

But now I stand, ready to fall,21

Unlike you, who cheered the crowd,22

Now I weep in silence aloud.23

24

I miss you dear,25

As you seem not to be near,26

I miss those days27

When at the stars, you used to gaze.28

Can't I reach you now ?29

When God was defined as Love !30

Can you come to me ?31

To return those innoent eyes to see !32

Closing with love,33

And feelings unsaid,34

Your future face35

Whom you wish not to see ahead 36

What did you think? Please comment!

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • August 20

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    that was wonderful!

    i love that poem. it's wonderful. when u write ur poems do they just come to mind or do you just write? tell me ur poems r really good. give me tips lol


  • August 16
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    i like it

    it sounds like a journey through life, that you don't want to complete

  • wishintreeUK
    February 21, 2007

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    Welcome to storywrite

    I love how you have begun this piece of writing! a letter can be a way of expressing our emotions when we are either to emotionally close to, or too far away to be able to say the words we long to speak to someone we hold dear.
    The presentation on the page is eye-catching with the little roses in between each stanza.
    There are memories woven throughout your poem that show the depth of emotion you feel, it reminds me of how we can often leave it too late to say something we long to say, yet for some reason fail to do so. Interesting the letter was mailed to self, at least being able in some way to get those thoughts and emotions out and said!
    This piece of work had a feeling of reality about it.

    Welcome to storywrite, check out all the site has to offer and do not hesitate to ask for help from any greeter who will be happy to assist you

    ~Katie~


  • Koyakku
    February 2, 2007
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    Sad. . .

    *sniffle* Who died? It sounds like you wrote this sincerely. . ..


  • December 13, 2006
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    Great.

    I didnt really like this poem.It didnt make me 'feel'. But that doesnt change the fact that I recognize how beautiful it is. Its very well written and with everyline I could see a new image. It was so complex in its simplicity.
    It was very lovely.

  • Marybeth Clementine
    June 17, 2005
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    This is a really interesting concept. When I was a kid, a teacher made me write a letter to myself. About ten years later, the letter came, and it was really sad, for some reason. There were all these creeds I held onto, then let go of...There is always a lot I wish I had known then, too. Maybe try to incorporate some more conflicting/and intriguing emotions in future drafts.


  • June 17, 2005
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    hey a nice write for sure..
    Flow: 7/10
    Rhythm:8/10
    Rhyme:6/10
    expression:9/10
    Overall: 8/10
    I'm not a poet, not even a poetician for that matters, to judge this poem ..but i guess the relative standards help in improvement, So cheers Lol

    Sometimes talking to yourself helps, but at other times you need a friend to express out your emotions!! I'll be delighted to be your friend...maybe we can be of some help to each other ...or maybe than i'll get psychotherapy for free when i'm down, lol!!!!!!!!!
    God Bless, Take care
    Love Mayank


  • June 17, 2005
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    I like this type of poetry: the kind that doesn't make much sense at first but makes you think. I enjoyed it a lot.

  • 1-Winged-Angel
    June 17, 2005
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    Nice one . This is cool. I like this alot . Great job. Good luck in the contest and keep up the good work


  • BlackBloodyRose
    June 17, 2005
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    amazing u deerve to win!


  • June 17, 2005
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    Very Good

    The rhyming beautifull! Hope u win!

  • EeyoreUK
    June 17, 2005
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    good work here and good luck in the contest. Perhaps just a tad long for me, but i will just have to find more time to relax and read longer things. Nice job and keep penning.

  • thepoisonpen
    June 17, 2005
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    wow its real nice. good luck with the contest!

1 - 13 of 13