The Fledgling (pt. 1)

Alek McTavish downed another shot of tequila relentlessly before slamming it down on the bar counter next to a dozen identical, empty glasses. The liquid breathed fire down his throat, and his eyes watered. He ordered another shot anyway. He was almost drunk enough to forget about the fact that his sire had just disowned him for coming out of the closet as a gay man. When his sire had turned her back on him, Alek had hopped on the first plane to Scotland, a place he’d always wanted to go to. It was where he had been born. The vacation seemed like a good idea at the time.1

But the car he’d rented had broken down a mile from the bar Alek was now at, and the pouring rain prevented Alek walking back to his hotel, which was a long journey on foot. It was going to be hours before the tow truck would reach him in this isolated town.2

The alcohol held the chill from being soaked at bay, and at first, Alek didn’t notice when the doors blew open. Since the small town was a popular tourist attraction, it was unsurprising that people had been coming and going from the bar all night. There were ancient myths that told of vampire-like creatures that lived in the woods surrounding Erlark. These stories drew people from around the world. 3

Of course nothing was ever found of the vampires.4

Alek knew better, since he was one. 5

That was why he’d gone to the effort of renting a car and walking the whole way—it was to blend in with the humans.6

However, he had not encountered another one of his kind other than his sire, which he hopefully never would see again. Belinda had always been a cold bitch, even when they exchanged blood. Two hundred years ago, when Alek had been twenty-five, Belinda had saved him from a house fire. Such a pretty face should not be wasted, she had said before plunging her fangs into his neck.7

Growling, Alek swallowed the fiery concoction, thinking to himself, Screw you. 8

A chill abruptly slid down his back, piercing through his alcohol-induced haze. The back of his neck prickled and tightened in warning. He was being watched. That was particularly strange, considering he had blurred his image, so that humans wouldn’t be able to see him clearly. He was the type of man who attracted attention—he was tall, red-haired, and layered with muscle. His emerald green eyes made people stare when he passed them by on the side walk. He had blurred his image so that no human would bother him tonight—but not even that had worked.9

Pretending nonchalance, he motioned to the bartender for another drink. Casually, he turned around on his stool and surveyed the room with a sweeping eye, his hard-earned buzz fading away. 10

There. In the back corner of the room. With his enhanced vision, Alek could easily see into the shadows and identify the man watching him. As soon as he saw who his stalker was, Alek froze completely.11

The man was stunning. Inky black hair fell in curls around the man’s face, creating a dark halo. Shadows molded to the rugged planes of his face, making his cheekbones sharper, his jaw harder. The length of his nose was crooked, as if he’d been in quite a few fights. His well-built arms were folded across his sculpted chest, making the muscles bulge. He was tall—taller, in fact, than Alek, who was six three. Shifting uncomfortably, Alek reacted as any gay man would, and suddenly felt as if his slacks were too tight.12

Their gazes met. Alek gasped softly and jolted in his seat as if electrified. Eyes held power, and Alek found himself quickly drowning in the twin indigo pools. He felt as if they were seeing straight into his soul. Alek bit his own lip, hard, drawing blood with his sharp incisors. The pain pulled him out of the compulsion of the other being. There was only one creature that could wield so much power…a vampire.13

Alek felt a lick of excitement and awareness. Was this his chance to have a companion? Could he even bring himself to hope? Should he approach him? What did he have to lose?14

Mind made up, Alek stood, throwing a fifty down on the table for the bartender. Like a silent shadow, Alek weaved in and out of the crowd, careful not to touch anyone. If his heart could beat, it would be pounding. Alek approached cautiously. The vampire’s scent hit Alek’s senses, and he nearly groaned at the woodsy, masculine aroma. His fangs ached almost as much as his cock did. He was grateful for his heavy coat, which hid any suspicious bulges.15

Alek stopped in front of the other man, careful to keep his mental blocks up. He kept his joints loose and ready. 16

“May I help you?” Alek asked softly, tamping down his lust so that (hopefully) the vampire didn’t pick up on it.17

“Yes, I believe you can.”18

Oh God, his voice was like sin, rubbing against his skin like the softest velvet. He felt it like a ghost hand caressing his cock. Eyelids heavy, Alek surveyed the man up close, and marveled at the perfection he was seeing. Even with his enhanced sight, he couldn’t detect a single flaw in that perfect face. The other man glowed with his pale, white skin. 19

“And of what service may I be to you?” I’ll do anything, Alek thought secretly, if you let me take a bite out of that strong, delicious neck. Or anywhere else… 20

The other man leaned in close, and Alek swallowed, hard. “I have a little…problem with my fledgling. You see, he refuses to take my blood. The act repulses him. He’s fervently hanging on to his human tendencies.” His eyes traveled across Alek’s body, as if sizing him up. Was that a flicker of interest in the other vampire’s eye? Or was it just Alek’s wishful thinking?21

“Since he is my fledgling, he can see through my glamour if I try to disguise myself as anyone else. However, if someone else were to give him blood, I think he would accept it.” 22

“How do I know if this is some sort of trap?” he asked, one brow rising.23

“Wouldn’t I just take over your mind? It would be easy you know.” The vampire’s voice dipped low, giving the words a sensual twist. Meeting Alek’s eyes, he continued, “I could make you do anything I want. Then again, where would the fun in that be? Of course, you’re not going to believe me if I say I’m not going to try anything. Aren’t taking risks more compelling than playing it safe?” His head tipped to the side in an unexpectedly cute action. Alek fiercely told himself to snap the hell out of it. This man needed his help, and Alek was going to give it to him. He wondered why he trusted this vampire so much, when he’d never met another one before, and didn’t know the true nature of his kind. Perhaps he was being deceived, or walking into a trap, but looking into those indigo eyes, Alek realized he simply didn’t care. 24

“I’ll help you,” Alek vowed solemnly.25

The vampire’s lips curled into a smile, revealing blindingly white teeth. His canines were extended into tiny fangs, which meant he was feeling some type of bloodlust. Or maybe it was just lust? Alek mentally shook his head at his own ridiculous notions.26

“What is your name?” the vampire asked.27

“Alek.”28

“Ah, Alek, I am Darien. If my plan works, I am in your debt.” Darien bowed formally. When he straightened, he extended a hand to Alek. “I will flash us to my fledgling.”29

Alek’s erection had subsided somewhat, but with the offer of touching Darien’s bare skin, blood rushed into his groin, making him harden and lengthen. Without hesitation, he slipped his hand into Darien’s. 30

His hand was not smooth, as Alek had imagined, but rough with calluses. The touch made goose bumps rise all over his skin, and he wondered if Darien saw the shudder that went through his body. Never had Alek felt such blazing chemistry for someone. His groin ached with need, and Alek couldn’t understand what it was about this other vampire that drew him so. 31

Darien flashed them to his fledgling’s location. Alek had flashed before, although he himself was not yet powerful enough to do such a thing—which meant that Darien was very old indeed. Maybe as old as Belinda?32

Alek looked around the interior of what appeared to be a ragged shed. Funny, but he’d expected something a little more extravagant from Darien. Confusion grew within him as he looked around, and didn’t see Darien’s fledgling. His eyes widened as he realized that this was a trap.33

Whirling around, he saw Darien leaning against the wall of the shed, his eyes watching Alek’s every move. There was absolutely no emotion on his face. A predatory stillness came over them both. If someone were to enter the shed at that moment, they would think the two figures were statues. 34

Darien finally leapt at him, and because he was the weaker vampire, Alek wasn’t able to dodge the attack. The full force of Darien’s weight hit him like a freight train, and they crashed to the ground. Alek was about to fight him when a pair of lips smashed down onto his. His mind couldn’t comprehend. Darien was…kissing him?35

His cock surged beneath his jeans, and he knew Darien felt his response, because he moaned low in his throat and rubbed himself against Alek’s erection. Alek’s eyes almost crossed from the intense pleasure. Darien plunged his tongue into Alek’s mouth, greedy and demanding. If either vampire could breathe, they’d both be gasping. Alek couldn’t understand where this sudden change of heart had come from, but damn, he was grateful for it. If Darien drove a stake through his heart, he would die happy. 36

“Oh God,” Darien growled when he finally tore his mouth from Alek’s. “I was going to kill you. I knew you were Belinda’s companion, her fledgling, and I’ve been trying to get my revenge on her for the past five hundred years.” 37

Talking? Why was he talking?38

“She killed my fledgling because he refused to lay with her.” Darien’s eyes bored into Alek’s. “Killing you seemed like the perfect plan. But when I saw you…. Those lips and body would tempt even the most devout of saints. And your eyes…” He trailed off again with a groan, and suddenly the talking was over, much to Alek’s relief. Alek licked Darien’s bottom lip, traced the seam of his mouth, before doing some plunging of his own. Their tongues dueled as their hips rubbed against each other, their cocks encountering one another even through the thick cloth. 39

“Take off your clothes. Now.” Darien’s voice was low and gravelly, his indigo eyes holding a blazing heat that Alek felt himself. 40

Alek surprised them both by chuckling. “I can’t exactly move with your body pinning mine down,” he said, his voice husky with desire. 41

“I don’t think I could move to save my soul,” Darien growled. 42

He yanked Alek’s heavy coat off to reveal a tight-fitting black tee that molded sinfully to his body. Darien simply ripped it away with a strength that made the other male shiver with delight. He ran his hands over the planes of Alek’s chest and the ridges of his abs, glorying in the strangely tanned skin. With a sexy, small grin on his face, Darien ripped away the shirt. He took one tiny brown nipple into his mouth, causing Alek to groan. His erection thickened impossibly, strangled by the tight hold of his jeans. Darien’s hot mouth kissed a path up to his throat, where he raked his fangs over the skin. The incisors were dangerously sharp, and the edge of knowledge that Darien could kill Alek right then drove them both wild. While Darien was preoccupied with driving Alek out of his mind, Alek reached down the front of Darien’s jeans to fondle a deliciously engorged erection. He slid his thumb over the glistening head. Darien moaned high in his throat in response. Smugly pleased he could get such a reaction from such a seemingly untouchable being, Alek threw his head back and reached out with his senses, drinking in the feeling of Darien’s clothing against his ultrasensitive skin, the feeling of the hot mouth nibbling its way up his jaw, and the feeling of being thoroughly loved.43

By the time their lips touched, Alek was ready to explode. The erection he gripped in his hand was throbbing heavily. He couldn’t wait another second or he would come. Darien had seemed to gain some kind of control, and was lazily nibbling at Alek’s lips. Deciding that Alek liked Darien better when he was as crazy for it as he was, Alek tightened his grip on Darien’s dick precariously. He dragged his hand up and down, applying as much negative pressure he could from his position.44

The breath snagged in Darien’s throat; Alek could feel the other male’s entire body go still. A knowing smile curved Alek’s lips. Reaching with his other hand, he teasingly caressed Darien’s sac. Deliberately, he loosened his hold until his fingertips barely touched the quivering flesh. Darien growled menacingly, but instead of being properly frightened, Alek felt excitement sizzle through his cock. Feeling wicked, Alek withdrew his hands completely, stretching his arms above his head lazily. He expertly slipped on a fake mask of boredom, despite the heavy bulge of his arousal. 45

Ferocity laced Darien’s fevered expression. Alek felt the first inkling of fear, but it only managed to heighten his sexual excitement. In a blur of movement, Darien rolled off of Alek, flipped him onto his back, tore away his pants, and bit Alek’s ass deeply.46

Shocked, a crack of lightening whipped through his prick with blinding intensity. Alek was helpless against the waves of pleasure and pain that mixed and crashed through him with astonishing strength. He came all over his own stomach, but the pleasure was so mind-numbing he couldn’t bring himself to care. 47

Straddling Alek’s muscled leg, Darien rubbed against him demandingly while licking the wound closed, his cock still iron hard. It burned like a fire poker against his leg, and Alek dragged himself from his stupor to roll over. Darien stared at him, and Alek felt a new surge of lust at the raw need raging on that perfect face.48

Using a little vampire strength of his own, Alek moved swiftly, launching from the ground to knock Darien over. Placing his lips close to Darien’s ear, Alek whispered, “My turn.”

Author notes

Hmmm, this is my first erotica, and I'd like to know what people think, and what I should improve on/change. Be honest but please make sure that it's constructive criticism.

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • xrainbowajx
    June 30
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    awesome!!!! i love this story.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Emelite
    June 21

    Edit | Reply
    the least I can say about this is that it's not really about the fact that they're vampires. well, they do use their ability for their... acts. I'm not too much into gay, but this is good. looking forward to the rest(:


  • FireByrd
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    okay well i'm damned if that wasn't fucking hot. wow that was amazing soooo amazing it freaking turned me on. uh just... hold on i've been struck stupid for the first time in my life!

    • YUS! Turning on the reader was my goal!
      The second part is up if you're interested! Unless I already submitted it in your contest. :]]


  • lavanya
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    if this is your first attempt then you did really very hot job simply like your story and i must say that you are very good writer...keep writing dear and good luck..*steam coming out from my ears*


  • Whispers silver member
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    No way...your very first attempt at erotica? Get out! That was some unbelievably gorgeous stuff you just wrote there. I love the "boy meets boy" theme; always a personal favorite for me when it comes to these types of stories .

    I don't know why so many people claim that it was rushed; it didn't seem rushed to me. However, in saying that, you should spice up the beginning a little more to *really* hook the reader in. Other than that, marvelous! I'm pleased to be friends with such a gifted writer .

    • Yup, it was my first attempt...but I learn from reading tons of it. x]
      Thank you for the suggestion!

  • Mm..Im hungry for the next. Thanks for entering my contest! I like the plot, it has just enough detail to suck the reader in and get him/her hooked.

    Good luck --Liz

  • This is an exceptional chapter, and I will definitely give you a more detailed comment with your second chapter, so I'm not repeating myself, as this is certainly a well written, and very seductive story. Although, I must say, for your first erotica, I could never tell. It was very well written, and you didn't seem to have the "first time jitters" that some people get when writing erotica.

    MD

  • i liked it, but it seemed to be going a little too fast. and there needed to be just a little more erotica in there. . .

    thank you for entering my contest

  • GREATTTT

    this is your first erotica?? this is pretty good and its gay too. I like gay stories, mostly erotica cos its really hot, And this is really hot, great job, the only thing that didnt interest me was the beginning, i thought it was boring so I skipped down to the good parts and look what I found, male on male and what a good part, so delicious. lol. That is all I got to say and thank you for entering my contest!!

  • First erotica? WOW. I agree with Lady Pixie. This is really amazing for a first, especially for your age. The descriptions were excellent, you got me hooked on this story! I loooove it! And normally I don't comment on erotica stories, but yours is an exception. This was just too sexy

    Keep on writing!

    xoxo
    ~*Princess*~


  • Host
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    If his heart could beat, it would be pounding.- Wouldn't that be common sense. The heart always pounds. It would sound better if you described it like: If his could beat, it would be pounding rapidly.
    Something like that and you wouldn't even have to change the sentence all that much, just add a word.


    It kinda feels rushed, that might be the way I'm reading it. So if i sound crazy right know then sorry. Um.. So my thoughts on this was that it was great for your first time writing Erotica. There are somethings that seemed out of place and some that seemed like the character wouldn't do. They way you made the character sound, seemed to me that he wasn't the kind to just go up and ask what the other person wanted. Maybe start a conversation, get a little more Information. Anyway the story held on greatly, and I didn't catch any major errors. Nice Job!


    Host

    • Well, hearts don't usually pound unless you have a weak heart they just beat. But I'll change it.

      Haha you don't sound crazy I can see where it might be rushed. Thank you for your suggestions and honesty...this is what perfects my writing!


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    April 10

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.

    Holy crap- this is your first erotica???!!! This is some really great work for your first one (and the fact that you're 15 and writing this damn good is amazing in itself)!! I really have nothing to offer as far as constructive criticism or any changes needed. It was well written and astoundingly detailed.. Very steamy and passionate as well.

    just wow.

    Great great great work here


  • Samuria
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    I'm surprised this is your first - it's better than most peoples thirds or fifths. You did a fantastic job of describing and pulled the reader right in. You also left a very, very good cliffhanger... Leaving me wanting more! Can't wait for the next part. Great write!

    Samzy


  • BlamedRobin
    March 12

    Edit | Reply
    This was really good. I wouldn't have thought this would have been your first if you wouldn't have told me. The description was really good. I really liked it. Felt like I was there watching it -Smiles- Good job. Can't wait till' next one!

  • this was great lol got my very..... cnt wait till the nxt chpter

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