Things Left Unsaid

It's now officially Valentine's Day, and just hours ago we held hands and took an enormous leap away from the unpretentious safety of our friendship. We were both filled with a myriad of emotions: fear for the weight of the fall, excitement for the nearing crash, and joviality when we breezed easily to shore, unharmed and surfing on clouds. Now I lay here writing this, occasionally glancing at you. Often, I have to put down what I'm working on in order to focus on you. You have no idea what you do to me. Or for that matter, anyone and everyone who has gotten to know you; the smell of your hot breath; the delicate way your hair mats to your forehead in an intense moment of heat, a wondrous mixture of silk and sweat; the way your smile hypnotizes those who dare be captured in their gaze. You probably have no idea. I know you have no idea. 1

Just now, I brushed hair away from your face, careful not to wake you. You sighed contentedly, and I couldn't contain the grin that spread across my face. Our life together has been defined by secret moments, countless movie nights and inside jokes, yearly discoveries, and most importantly; stupidity. That's right. I'm quite possibly the biggest idiot I know. In order to make up for my lack of brains, I write you this letter, letting you know just how much our little moments meant to me. You know that I've always believed actions speak louder than words. Words can be faulty, twisting to mean anything the mind wants. But here now, I think words matter. Especially the words I've never said. I don't want you to think that last night was just a fluke, when in reality it was the most miraculous occurrence of my life. And because I know you'll ask; I don't regret it. I only regret waiting, and not letting you know how I felt, when you're all I see in a crowd of millions of people. I've always said I don't have your way with words; you've always told me not when it matters. So here goes nothing and everything. 2

We met on the first day of kindergarten, opposites attracting like a bug to the light that would be its death. You were that light; bright and resilient, mischievous and always willing to share your happiness. I was curious and more withdrawn, flying to anyone whose strength I admired. We were a perfect match. 3

Our friendship grew from there, as quick as a supernova explosion, still as powerful. You were that 'go-to-guy,' the one that made light of any situation, always with an outstretched arm and comforting words; ready to lend a helping hand. I was that guy who needed to be told he was important; needed to feel he belonged somewhere. 4

When we were in the second grade, you were developing your talent for art, and you often forced me to paint with you. Actually, that's untrue. I always asked if you'd mind my company. You always said no, and I always felt blessed. We'd sit on the paper covered floor in your room, music cascading through open air. You'd close your eyes, still as a statue and brush held firmly in hand. Time passed unhurriedly, as if it too wanted to stay locked in that one moment. Soon, your eyes would open and you'd come to life, brush dipping into color after color. It became almost like a dance. Dip, paint, dip, paint...I found myself dancing along, colors swirling to become some uninhabited creature. When you finished, you'd stand up and look at the painting from all angles: sideways, upside down, right-side-up. Finally, you'd turn to me satisfied; brown eyes shining golden; a smile so wide, so crooked, so beautiful, and so absolutely you, dimples patted shapely into each cheek. "All done," you'd say. It never failed to make my day complete and my head spin. 5

At age 12, you were the guy who would stand up for anyone; short, tall, fat, zits covering every corner, or books and glasses part of their overall appearance. For that alone, people began to see you as an outsider (backwards from most situations). I stood by your side anyway, because to me, you were worth it. Do you remember that wanna-be tough guy that always used to pick on us? He was obnoxious; a conceited jerk who was the tormentor of most bullied victims. One day, he was picking on a thin, sickly kid with glasses and high waters. You shoved him away, anger tickling your features, and politely told him to go fuck himself. He spit in your face before telling you that 'fairies like yourself’ should go burn in hell. He stalked away, looking as engaging as a riled up porcupine. You stood there triumphant. 6

The next day, you came to school dressed in multiple headbands, a frilly skirt, and a silky blouse, outfit complete with go-go boots. You walked straight up to him; looked him dead in the eyes and near screamed: "Hello, boyfriend! Would you care to come over today for some tea and biscuits? I'd be delighted if you could catch me up on the latest trends!" I ran over quick and pulled you away from Jeff, his balled up fists, and his red face. When the distance felt enough, we stopped and rolled over in tears and laughter. It became a pattern; laughing and wiping away our tears before bursting into more simultaneous laughter. Truth be told, I wanted to yell at you and your natural impulsiveness. Unfortunately, all I saw was you, your headbands, and your heart-racing spirit, your face lit up. I could only shake my head, pull you into a tight embrace, and kiss the side of your face (the first kiss of many) for at least remaining in one piece. You were a force to be reckoned with. 7

At age 13, you were everything I couldn't be. You were dauntless and self-assured in a way that made people like me afraid. This year was marked by playful bridges being built, steady until tested; swinging between safe and precarious. I remember this year as completely nonsensical yet meaningful, flowered by chasing each other through empty woods; rolling down grassy fields; pulling grass out of your hair and replacing it with a daisy, and finding sticky notes hidden in the most unexpected places; ranging from my cabinet to the milk in my fridge, to my locker. Sometimes they made sense ("I miss you like Allie missed Noah") and sometimes they were small fractions of something larger ("French fries or mushrooms?"). Sometimes you drew pictures that could easily pass for chicken scratch, but were undeniably you all the same (you+me=happy, me-you=miserable). 8

This was the first year I saw you. We were bumming at the beach, all tangles of legs and hair and clasped fingers. I looked at you, and for the first time ever, I saw you as more than just my best friend. I saw you as a boy working his way into manhood, heard your voice changing deeper, cracking often but still unyielding. I saw beauty; pure and unblemished beauty. Golden legs; strong and muscular; brown eyes splashed with dots of green emeralds, silky blond strands of hair falling slightly over them. I was able to brush it aside as a simple trick of light. Anyone could look celestial in luminous light, right? 9

Wrong. I became a nervous wreck around you, tripping over words, losing track of time and voices passing around me. I blushed with every soft word you whispered, every electrifying caress. You had asked me point blank how I felt, but I shook my head, a loud and awkward laugh escaping my lips. "Are you kidding me?" I asked before turning around, purposely ignoring the way your heart broke in your eyes, piece by piece exploding until all that was left was the shell of you. "Oh..." you had muttered quietly. That wasn't the last time you asked me. The question came at odd times; when we were cuddling on the couch, after food fights in your kitchen, late at night at my house. I knew what you wanted me to say, but I always denied, turning away so my red face stayed hidden. I wasn't strong enough then to handle the consequences if I said yes. At the same time, I wasn't strong enough to handle how crestfallen you always looked. Our relationship became strained, and in order to save it, you stopped asking. I never stopped feeling. 10

I saw you again at 16; you on the brink of turning 16. You were exploring your sexuality, searching for a soul mate. I could only watch you, trying to keep my emotions in check. The thing was, I could control my emotions around everyone except the one person who knew me inside and out. Because of that, the year was spent mostly apart; you dating around, and me joining every club in order to forget and stop missing you. It didn't work, and it still wouldn't, because I could never forget you. The time we did spend together was precious to me, proof of that all the secret pictures I took when you weren't looking. That year, I gave you a picture of us for your birthday, the frame engraved with the words "You and Me." You started crying, seeing it as symbolic; a recreation of our friendship. You and me, unstoppable against everything and everyone. There was hope in your eyes. Hope that we could survive whatever was pulling on the threads of our relationship. I chose to see it simply as it was. You and me. I gave you the only copy I had of that picture, but I wish I had another copy. It wasn't just you and me. It was YOU and ME, the two of us in it together for the long haul, there for each other no matter what. 11

Age 18 was a year sprinkled with fire and heated arguments. You were notoriously known for being a great, how do I say it eloquently? A "great fuck." It both intrigued me and burned my insides. I nearly punched every guy who had the guts to brag about you like some trophy. Do you remember that day? You were at my house, the two of us in the midst of one of our frequent heated discussions. We both screamed things we didn't mean; you calling me an arrogant, selfish asshole; me calling you a naive, bitchy slut. Your eyes drowned in water, filling like a dam before dropping, each piece breaking you more. You spit out how much you hated me and that I should go fuck myself before running out, door slamming behind you. I spent the next few hours walking around my house, burning off steam before I felt ready to talk to you. I practically ran the 2 mile distance to your house, arriving a sweaty mess. I barged in, barely noting the unlocked door and found you upstairs; tossing your lunch in your toilet. A few beer bottles were tossed carelessly aside. I rubbed the small of your back, kissing your head gently. 12

"Are you okay?" I asked.13

You shook your head, before retching into the toilet again. "No," you whispered feebly. 14

"Will you BE okay?" 15

"...Not if you leave." 16

My last strand of control broke at that, and soon I was full out sobbing, the words "I'm sorry" whispered repeatedly. And then you were crying along with me, a mess of puke and tears. We held each other, rocking back and forth. Even then, at that time, I noted how our bodies seemingly molded together, like missing puzzle pieces. 17

"It hurts..." you mumbled into my chest, small fingers grasping the bottom of my shirt. 18

"I know," I answered. 19

"I can't breath," you choked out. 20

"I know," I responded, planting a kiss on your head. 21

"I think I'm gonna be sick," you cried. 22

I said nothing, holding you tighter, as if the very fate of our world depended on it. I have no idea how long we sat there, only the sounds of our breathing and the occasional sob penetrating the silence.23

"Noah...I love you," you murmured after some time, sleep slowly squirming its way into your eyes. "I always have..." 24

With those words, I felt like I was dreaming and tumbling downwards, my only savior you. My hold on you tightened as my tears fell more and more, endless gravity. I didn't bother to wipe them, rendered speechless. I looked at you, eyes shut lightly, heart on your sleeve.2525

"...I know." I whispered. 26

Every year since that moment was braided with happiness and nightly confessions; dreams and fears coming alive. I came to know you and all your strange little mannerisms. The way you go shopping for toilet paper, yet come back with four boxes of Fruit Loops; the way the wash always eats one of your socks; the way you eat Oreos in bed, licking each side; the way you always accidentally-on-purpose wear my shirts to bed; the way you leave books everywhere, including the bathroom; the way you leave sticky notes on the fridge and television; the fact that you dance around the house naked when you think I'm not home; the fact that you always make me snacks when I'm working or studying heavily. The fact that you become an endless talker when you drink too much coffee, babbling on and on until you finally crash, snoring ever-so-lightly. All of these habits make up a part of you. 27

I met you last night as someone I could spend the rest of my life with. You were brave and honest, diving headfirst into something that won't easily be brushed aside as a spur of the moment. I hope you understand that last night, you proved to me why I would give anything to make you happy. That you're probably the most amazing person I'll ever meet, giving me relentless strength, when we both know I'm not that strong. Not like you. I want you to know that I've kept every single sticky note you've ever given me, hidden away with pictures of you. I hope you now know that I'm willing to give everything I have into this newly found relationship of ours. But something tells me you know; you've always known.

Author notes

The theme? It could be summed up a few ways, I think. One being:

Even if you only say half of what you want to say, that's more than some people ever say.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 78 of 78

  • RedHearts
    October 31
    Edit | Reply
    Well written.. very good indeed.. Great Job.


  • kissedbyan angel
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this very much and the story made me wonder about valentines day because I usually hate valentines day...anyway great job and good luck in my contest

    -Jennifer out

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • Hihamburger
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    I liked it very much, though I'm not sure if it made me happy or not.. Either way good luck in the contest.


  • PaperHeart
    October 25
    Edit | Reply
    Wow Eddie. It was truly Amazing :]


  • YaoiQueen Killa
    October 3
    Edit | Reply

    nawwww

    it was sweet and cute and thankyou!


  • Kagamine Rin
    September 23

    Edit | Reply
    Well written and astonishing! I really enjoyed your entry. The description was amazing and mood was frightful. Yay for fright. |D

    Beautiful and powerful. Thank you ever so much for entering.


  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    September 14

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely written. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in the contest. This was very enjoyable to read.


  • An Empty World
    September 8
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    I agree with nimm This was great, good job!!


  • nimm
    September 7

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    Before I read this I wasn't sure I would like it, I mean people generally write really sappy stuff like this, but it has no genuine backbone. This story absolutely should set a standard for the love letter, from the tightly woven mesh of ups and downs, to the subtle ways that you almost knew the characters after reading this. It was positively great!

  • Baba Jojo
    September 1
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing Sttuuffff!!


  • tsh369 gold member
    August 31
    Edit | Reply
    This was an exceptional piece. That’s all there is to say.
    Thank you for entering my contest. Good Luck!!!

    Th.


  • Jenni-Wren
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, this is a beautiful story. I love the way that the relationship was shown to grow through the years, it was realistic and still ever so sweet! You're an amazing writer and I hope to read more of your work in the future.
    Thank you so much for entering, and good luck!


  • HeartSxAnDxStripeS
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    An amazing story, I can't really say anymore, I am actually speechless. This was beautiful. Well done.


  • CelesteSanford
    August 25

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    Aww. I can't even explain how great this was. First off, I want to admit that I thought the narrator was female at first. I feel bad at my assumption, but at the same time I think that is a good thing, because I identified with him so much that I could see myself in the same situation.

    Also...One of the biggest pet peeves I have with romantic stories is the shallowness of the relationship. You successfully destroyed that cliche, much to my enjoyment. I actually felt the emotion that the characters had for eachother, and it wasn't infatuation but actual love. It wasn't spur of the moment "Oh my god, I love you so much always and forever!"

    The story was realistic. Your characters denied their emotions and I loved how you showed them progressing throughout their childhood/life. You showed how they changed, how they evolved and how they went together and at times how they conflicted. You kept things real and interesting, and I loved how you added in all those quirky little mannerisms that prove that they do truly love eachother.

    I think this is extremely well written, and I want to say thank you for entering my contest and good luck!


  • EmoGirl95
    August 25

    Edit | Reply

    Truly Amazed Me

    It was extremely good.
    You described things very well.
    The story was very vivid and I felt like I was the girl.

    I loved reading it.
    Good Luck

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • lesbian-in-love
    August 23
    Edit | Reply
    This was really good. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • sammiwammi223
    August 23

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    This was very descriptive and very romantic. I love gay romances, they are so cute!

    Although I was looking for more drama but I did love how this had the romance dramas in it. This was incredibly good.

    Great writing and thank you for entering my contest. Best of luck!


  • slyly annonymous
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    It was beyond cute! It was a bit hard to tell whether is was the boy or girl's thoughts but was amazing none the less. The description and storyline was sweet and over whelming a really good love story,
    Great job =]


  • Lady Eventide Greeters member
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    When I first began reading this, I was like: it's so long...I'll never reach the end. Now that I'm there, it's like: oh, drat! there isn't anymore!

    I love everything about this story, and how it runs almost like a long poem. Filled with meaning. Filled with...so much!!!

    I think you wrote a remarkable piece. One to be cherished. One to see what love is all about.

    Well done!!! I can't wait to see what you post in the Triple C Ranch next week.


  • musical tai
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    sometimes it seems like the girl is talking and sometimes it sounds like the guy is talking. other than that, great job! keep writiing!!!!!1


  • Benwater
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    I liked it. You have a natural talent for writing, I would say. Your imagination is wild, but it still makes sense. Keep setting it free

  • Hihamburger
    August 13
    Edit | Reply
    It was beautiful, words can not describe what you have just written. Innocence, that is what you have used in this story. Great job on it and keep on writing.

    ~Autumn

  • SethImmortal
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    Undeniably sweet, sensitive. The story of falling for your best friend, how pure and innocent. Heartwarming all the little things pulled into the spotlight. This is one of the best I've ever read for romance.


  • rinzu
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    amazingly beautiful...what else can i say...????


    congratulations on the long line up of trophies...


  • UsagiDreams
    August 7
    Edit | Reply
    It was interesting, it would have been better to know what kind of relationship it was. But I suppose that saves it from homophobia and things like that. Good luck with the contest.


  • Miss Recondite
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my god, you almost made me cry, and for me, that is near damn impossible. I couldn't tell if this was a gay story, or if it was boy girl, or what. For that, it makes me truly unhappy, but I sincerely hope you continue your pursuit in writing.

    I hope you enter my future contests.

  • Kagamine Rin
    August 3
    Edit | Reply
    A very good story, however I suggest to seperate the paragraphs so it won't look as long.

    Thanks for entering.

  • The-Exception
    August 3

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    ohh gosh... this was full of so much love it just bowled me over! i absolutey adored it. The description was wonderful, everything was. Beautiful writing


  • Toxic Valentine
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing. So much emotion. I cannot describe how much I truly enjoyed reading this story. Well done!

    Good luck in my contest.


  • sberendt gold member
    July 30

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    WOW...

    I'm speechless! I was so wrapped up in your story that I was, well, close to tears in some sections. This was beyond wonderful! The emotion was so raw; I can see why it has won so many trophies, several of them golds. Your way with words is astounding and seems very mature and educated.

    Thank you for entering my contest! Truly!

    *speechless* (again, )

    ~sberendt

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Shadow Pixie
    July 23

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    This was great, I loved it. An amazing love story, exactly my type of thing.
    Thanks for your entry, good luck!


  • Trillian
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    Simply amazing! I love this so much... Gah, I can't even explain it. I love stories like this =) Such a great story of love. Smashing.


  • Sunless Spirit
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing story. I admire the way you describe things in such a fluent and charming way.

    Paragrah 4, first sentence: I believe that a supernova is not an explosion, but I could be wrong.


    Paragraph 5, first sentence: 'developing' not 'devveloping'.



    Paragraph 7, second sentence: 'nearly' not 'near'.


    I love the way you portray the protagonist's love for the other character. It's (I can hear my
    solemnity dropping already) absolutely adorable!

    ~Sunless Spirit


  • blackvamp
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    "...opposites attracting like a bug to the light that would be its death."

    "Our friendship grew from there, as quick as a supernova explosion..."

    This is an AMAZING story! Everything seemed so real and detailed that I believe that either your a very talented writer, or you have had an experiance like this. I'm not sure which to believe, but either way this is absolutely stunning!

    Thank you so much for entering! Very enjoyable read


  • WillyLee
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    "This year was marked by playful bridges being built, steady until tested; swinging between safe and precarious." That is only one of at least a dozen lovely and evocative expressions in this story. It is very well written, particularly in the way it expresses the feelings of Noah for his lover. I can see you are a skilled writer, and you take the time to rework and polish your writing until you get it right. I would have started it with "Dear Joe," or whatever his name is, so that the reader would know right off that it is in the form of a letter. Also, if I am correct in thinking that the story's main purpose is to portray affection, you maybe could tighten it up a bit, edit out anything that is not absolutely essential to this end, and maybe make it about 500 words shorter. But I don't know; it's your story, and a very good one at that. Thanks for entering the contest! And Howzabout taking a look at my story, "Gaily the Troubadour?"


  • DreamWanderer gold member
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    Oooh! Stream of consciousness, my fave. Virginia Woolf all the way! The flow is wonderful. Strong throughout, not much to nit-nit at. But:

    #4: Stumbles with "as quick as a supernova explosion". Supernovae aren't quick and they're not an explosion. Probably just the cosmological pseudo-nerd in me.

    #6: "...sickly kid with glasses and high waters". Umm.. huh?

    #7: Not nits. It's brilliant. Creativity at its best.

    I'd like to find something else... but can't. Sweet without the emetic treacle. Florid without the melodrama. You're an uncut diamond amongst writers.

    Dw


  • chuladominicana
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    OMG
    i love it. it was wonderful.Loved the paraqraph where he was sleepinq


  • Unice the geek
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    i liked the sweet romance in it. i see a full on writing future for you. thanks for entering! (ps i loved the plot of the story)


  • andhearts. ox
    June 21
    Edit | Reply

    Liked this ;)

    Loved it. Liked it. Fantastic


  • VioletConcept
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    I dont have time to say much, but I most definitly enjoyed reading this piece.

    Wonderful.

    Goodluck,
    Vio

  • SilentMoonDance
    June 17

    Edit | Reply

    Nice...

    It's not your typical romance, but it's interesting. The characters seem real and their relationship, too. It doesn't sound fairytale-ish or too perfect. Seems like real life.
    Great job and good luck!


  • Lekos Memory
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    This was really sweet. I had to laugh at the part where he went to school all dressed up as a girl and faced the bully. I usually don't read this kind of stuff but this was pretty good.

    Thank you for entering this into my contest.


  • ley527
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my god. I think this is the best story i have ever read in my entire life. I absolutely love it. It's exactly how i feel about my girlfriend, and I'm glad you are able to experience this feeling as well. Very well done. Thank you for your entry and good luck.


  • Melissa Loves Jeffy
    May 28

    Edit | Reply
    Going through life telling not telling someone you love them would be really hard. I liked this a lot. It was really cute. Thanks for entering. =)


  • CallMeWhenUrRich gold member
    May 28
    Edit | Reply
    This was amazing. It was so sweet and emotional.
    Just, absolutely stunning.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • YaoiQueen Killa
    May 25
    Edit | Reply

    Falls over

    that was sweet thanksyou


  • Queen Mab gold member
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    The story is wonderful, but I found it excessively wordy. I felt like scrolling past several parts, but did end up reading well most of the story.
    The love built up so nicely. Slow and drawn out. A very realistic teenage exploration of sexuality. I enjoy stories of this genre, yours is no exception. I loved it.


  • cole3313
    May 23
    Edit | Reply
    Awwwww! This was sooooooo good. Your a great writer! This was such a great story. I loved it.


  • Blood Wolf
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    This was beautifully written. I loved how descriptive you were with the emotions. It was really great and really cute.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.


  • Yumiko Kizaka
    May 22
    Edit | Reply
    thank you so much for the entry. it was a beautiful story.


  • Alice Cambridge
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    This was so sweet, it almost had me in tears. Good job!
    Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. :]


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    This was very sweet, if only all love could be this beautiful. Thank you for entering and good luck.
    Brooke


  • HaydenLautner
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    This was so sweet. I fell in love with the characters. Thank you for entering my contest


  • Donkey
    May 9

    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    this story is just...beautiful. it's strong and gripping to the last, totally unable to stop reading it. keep up the great work


  • reilly500
    May 8
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful. Just beautiful. You are a finalist


  • DogsLookUp silver member
    May 3

    Edit | Reply
    An absolutely beautiful, haunting write!
    I fell in love with the characters, your descriptions, and the entire premise of this story as a whole. The words flowed in a smooth, poetic fashion that was crafted with such delicacy each line took my breath away. You are an incredible writer with many gifts and I'm spellbound by how brilliant that read was. Words cannot possibly describe how much I loved "Things Left Unsaid" so I'll just give you the clappy guys:


    Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.
    I'll be sure to read more of your work .

    Love,
    Ink


  • ElfSong
    May 2

    Edit | Reply
    This was really good!

    I must admit, I'm not into the whole guy with guy thing, or the constant adoration, but that didn't disrupt your story at all, because you didn't go into detail about it ^^

    I really like the way you characterise. It is brilliantly done, and I have a clear picture of what each character is like as a result.

    I find it strange how they keep on "meeting" each other, but its not worth worrying about...

    I love the descriptions in the first paragraph, it drew me in and kept me there. Your choice of words is also commendable ^^

    Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • LivingDeadGirl56
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful! Just EXACTLY what I wanted! My goodness you pinned first love to a cork board and then sketched a carbon copy. Thank you so much for entering. Good luck!

  • HoneyAngel
    April 5

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    Aww this was very sweet. I love stories like this where the couple has to go through hardships it makes everything so much better. I really enjoyed the flow of the piece and the fact that he was writing a letter.

    I really enjoyed it and I don't think I can comment on anything that might have been wrong.

    Thanks for entering.

    Angel.


  • Fruitilicious
    April 2
    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was very interesting, thanks for the read. Thanks for entering too.

    beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 2, characters: 3.


  • Bethany
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    I think you should enter it in a few more contest haha jk...
    I really liked it. At first I was a little bored (and confused) by it, but as it went on it got better.
    It would have helped if you has put a little more descrition in it in the begining (like the fact that they where both guys, which I ammused but I then thought it was two girls, a guy and a girl, two girls again, and back to two guys, confusing indeed)
    Your a very good writer, good job =]

  • icyrose
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely love this piece. Lucky for you, I can also completely relate, which makes my response to it very emotional. I really liked the format, how your relationship slowly built through the years...the characterization is truly great...and then the longing! I can feel your love seeping through every word of every line, and it is unbelievably powerful.
    This is so beautiful.

  • DeathByChocolate
    March 31

    Edit | Reply
    That is really beautiful. I love the way its written

    GOOD LUCK!

    Just FYI you are definatly a finalist


  • Kevan gold member
    March 30

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    Beautiful.
    It was awesome, and inspiring. I think this is a true classic romance. I've yet to see one on this site quite like this, where their whole life together has been recorded.

    Inspirational.
    Kevan.

  • Ahava
    March 25

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    awwwes. I've read this before but again, I really enjoyed it. I like how you said that you met him again every year. It was nice seeing how your characters grew up and the emotion in the story was very real and raw. Thank you so much for entering the contest and letting me read this story. Good luck with the contest and keep writing!


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    March 24

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    Ahh.. love Leonardo DiCaprio *briefly drools*... oh.. um... sorry Off topic... hehe

    Anyways.. this was good. I've read this before I'm sure I like the writing style and the romance in it (which romance was a prompt as well for the contest )

    Thanks for entering

    One thing I noticed was that your paragraphs were numbered (asides from the usual way SW numbers them automatically when posting)... was this on purpose? Or a copy and pasting error? No biggie, though

    Overall, enjoyed the read Great work here!


  • GossipGirlLuvR
    March 24

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    OMG!

    I really loved this. The words are so powerful. I loved the description towards the end. Everything was just so beautifully said and so real. I almost cried and that never happens when I read stories. Very rare. Great job!


  • Darkhearted
    March 22

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    that was perfect. the emotional detail broke my heart and the charactors pulled me through it.

    love it,
    cheyenne


  • Living.Disaster
    March 21

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    Very,Very Beautiful...In fact...I think I am in LOVE!!and amazingly I read through the WHOLE THING and didn't get bored,not even once,and that ia exactlu what I was looking for in an entry in my contest.
    Good Luck and Thank You for Entering!


  • Vampiric souls
    March 21

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    Awww that is so sweet!! You have written an excellent story!!! GREAT JOB!!!!!
    Thank you for entering!!
    ~Souls!!!!!!!!!


  • Atticus Unanimous
    March 19

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    Damn you... This makes me think I'm going to start to cry. I feel it coming. I love this piece. It's wonderful. You don't know how jealous I am right now. Of you and your little couple.


  • Tu Sei Una Stella
    March 19

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    I luv it! It is filled with love and I absolutely fell in love with it! Definatley one of my favorites!


  • poetry is soul
    March 17

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    i love this story, it is so sweet and filled with love! this is something that i think everyone should find... and i like how you kept repeating, i met you when... it was like you met him all over again when you discovered something new. this was really sweet, and you did a really good job with this.


  • SoundInkMusic
    March 12

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    I'm not much a fan of romance, so all stories of that sort can only attract me so much, but I certainly owe you an appreciative comment and some claps for a narrative that was still very enjoyable, in spite of my personal likes or dislikes of the theme. You write extremely well, which is especially hard to do with love stories - in my experience, the authors often slip into exaggeration or needless drama, but this felt earnest and real. I hope all continues to go well for the two of them =)


  • SunshineDancer423
    March 11
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    I liked it, I am not usually into the homosexual stories, and I am all for gay people, I just doesn't really float my boat.
    You didn't put what I asked for in the AN and it was gay, when I said I didn't really want it for my contest. I liked it, it was a good story, but it may be DQed.

    Sorry.

    SD423


  • lavanya
    March 10

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    Hey you really know how to touch reader's heart through your words...see how emotional i am feeling right now. beautiful job Eddie...simply love it . keep it up and good luck.


  • Cajun.Lullaby
    March 10

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    You know, in all honesty, I don't typically read the stories about homosexual romance. It's not that I particularly have an objection to it, it's just not my cup of tea. This story, however, pulled me in and refused to let me look up from the page; it was beautifully cast.

    The emotions were raw and real and utterly perfect. I loved the depth to this forbidden romance. The story itself flows wonderfully from beginning to end, and I found myself smiling along, sharing each triumph and feeling the sadness with each stagger along the way.

    Well done; great take on the prompt. (I wrote a story based on Love Story not long ago and it certainly didn't come out like this!)

    Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest.


  • VelvetWings
    March 9

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    This is a very, very beautiful story. Parts of it made me smile with tears in my eyes. The characters are well thought-out and realistic, and the story itself flows perfectly from beginning to end. Or rather, I should say the letter which is the story tells it perfectly. 5/5 right across the board and three applause for you!
    Thanks for sharing this heartfelt piece, and good luck in the contest!
    ~Sparrow

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

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