In this hour I sit writing, how I feel that I failed to provide.1
Everyone telling you that that he's nothing but a loser.2
I've lost the car, almost our home no ray of sun to light the way.3
I'm running low on self esteme, I'm running low on fuel to get me going.4
There is no way for me to do much of anything without the car.5
Today, I reposes things that were ours out of the car.6
They sell it to some one else who knows nothing except that someone couldn't pay for it.7
How they must think that I'm nothing but a rotting corpse of a man.8
Even my own faith I feel slipping away, and it's the only thing that holds me together.9
I feel everything failing deep into the night, not forgoton but can't do anything with it.10
If I hadn't been let go it may not have been a problem. But I was and now no one seems to want me.11
Not that I would have a way to get there. Even if they did.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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i don't know why, but i thought of hurricane when i read trhis lolssxxx nice job.........
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Aw this was so sad but good at the same time. I really enjoyed how descriptive you were with the emotino and feeling in this poem/story. I kind of saw this as an anaelogy of some sort. Is that what you wanted to the reader to see it as?
~Lullaby.x -
Very emotional, sad, and realistic. Everything flowed nice and made sense. You did a wonderful job.
Dew -
Awwww this was really good and i can understand this really well!!
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Yess...it feels like when you loose one thing, everything else seemingly goes down with it as well...
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hmmmm life is like a test n every moment is like a question....tough question...when we feel all is lost...then we get new ray(s) of hope....and when we feel we 've time....someone up there declare us "failed" in this test...good one man!
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I knew how you feel about lossies. Faith job love you just got to keep being strong and hold on. And knew you are cared for and love.
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I can definitely feel the loss and the sense of everything slipping away. That kind of emotion pulled through with this peice. This was very deep and I totally agree with all the people who have commented before me. A very good write.
'It's always darkest before the dawn. The dawn is coming.'
' Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.'
Dance in the rain.
~~Rose
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i can feel the lost.. first the job.. and then losing the car.. not able to get work.. because the car is needed to get there.. and losing your self worth.. because from the one small thing of being told you no longer have a job.. it seems your life has done nothing but gone straight down hill...
there is light.. but it takes time to shine.. please do not give up on your beliefs.. or on yourself.
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I have one thing to say,...OMG! :O
It was really somthin that I would say now and then. But I really couldnt understand about the car thing but the rest of it was truly amaising.XD
And you know that some people out there would want you to be thier some people can't do some things that you can
That's why there's more fish out in the ocean.^^
Feep tryin'
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Wow I don't even knew what to say. This was so deep and I can turly understand all this and wow deep storng powerful wow.
Just remember there has to be bad things to get to te good thing and no matter what life throws at you and how bad it gets never give up my love.
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