She sat by the window letting the sun kiss her pale face and the breeze to cool her heated body while her long brown vibrant hair flew. Her story was to be told about her life to a stranger. She sat with her clipboard in her hand waiting. How could she possibly know her feelings. Who gave her the right to examine her mind. The only way out was to tell what she waited for. So she began.1
"There is not much to tell really. I fell in love with two men. I remember the questions "Is it possible to love two people?" Well is it possible to love two children? Yes it is. A mother can love more than one child so therefor it is possible to love more than one man. The hard part of this story is I couldn't be with them both and a choice had to be made. If you are wanting a love story you will not get it. I'm just an ordinary person like you. I made my choice and it fell apart, I fell apart. I saw the look in his eyes when I told him I was with someone else and couldn't turn him away. To see a grown man cry is something a woman is shy of. He cried and screamed. With each shout I held my breath. This is not a love story at all as you see. This is how love breaks a person. Is it better to have loved than to have never loved? I can't seem to find any truth in that. They both held something that made me who I am. My smile was split between the two as was my heart. I cried for them both I embraced them both. Did I have a split personality? My answer is "No" but for you it may be yes. I am not the one with the degree in counsling. I bet you are wondering how I chose. Well I chose who I was with at the moment, I felt like I was to be loyal to the heart that had me, not saying I loved him more, just he had the right I guess. I do not regret my choice, I regret letting myself love the way I did. Am I ashamed to love them both? No, I'm far from ashamed. I was blessed and cursed at the same time. My relationship now with the man I'm with is fading which is my mistake, the relationship with the one I let go is as it is. It is gone. His image is still with me. I do love them both but I feel that I shouldn't have any of the love for the other is without which brings me here with you doctor. You can not help me, you can not rewrite the past or change the future. My heart is permanent and all the scars will remain. Monitor me hold me captive. But I will die each day as I have been since I had to chose between them. Secretly I wished I could have them both, ignorant I am to think of such sinful thoughts. I watched you write and I'm curious to what you think doc. Its your turn to humor me. Do you think you can save me because God hasn't.2
The doctor stood up and walked over to me. Sitting beside me at the window she showed me her clipboard. "What I wrote was not what I was thinking but what you were. You told me a story and in that story you let me inside your mind. As much as you want to believe it, You did want to be with one more than the other. I know you love them both and you have a right to love as much as you wish. Your happiness is important as well as theirs. Accept the fact that you made the wrong choice and then find him. You are already letting go to the man you are with and he is of you. Love is a funny thing ...its an emotion that comes with every other feeling we have. All the quotes and sayings in the world could never explain life and love only your own experience. It is possible to love two people and it is possible to love one more than the other as you do. The hard part is letting go of the one you truly want to be with because of the situation you are in with the other. Your surroundings make your decision difficult. I think you will be fine on your own, no monitoring or holding you captive you are punishing yourself and need to free yourself of those bars."3
I looked at the doctor and just leaped into her arms and hugged her and sobbed. "I lied, this is a love story; It's mine."4
Author notes
This isnt about me. I have loved two men before but really not at the same time as it states in the story above. I just got the idea in my head and wrote a story about it. I write stories very rarly but I hope you enjoy the read.
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Comments
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I did enjoy this so very much Trista. A wonderful story which is also very tragic. I guess when one reaches out find happiness they will end up hurting someone else. Fantastic story
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