3-5-091
I know everyone thinks I'm paranoid. They just don't know. They believe all these horrible experiences I tell them about are just in my head. Even if they are, they are enough to scare the hell out of me.2
It all started two years ago. I was a young man in the prime of my life, well educated, well liked and admired by all my friends and considered to be quite a catch by all the available young ladies I knew.3
I'm not certain just when things started to change. My life was virtually perfect. I was a professional, owned my own home on the ritzy side of town and was dating one of the kindest, most beautiful women in the world. Nothing could bring me down.4
It started slowly. At first, I found myself waking up at three o'clock every morning. I just couldn't understand why. I had never experienced any sort of sleep disorder before. I had no idea what was waking me up; I remembered nothing. I just had a strange feeling of dread, and could not understand why.5
This went on for about a month. At first, I had no problems at all falling back asleep within minutes. Then, each night, it started taking a little longer.6
Now I know there is no reason to even try to go back to sleep. When I wake up at three am, I sit in my chair in the dark, waiting fof morning to come.7
After about a month of this, I decided to not go to sleep at all. That first night, rather than go to bed, I sat in my chair, waiting for the witching hour. I was determined to find out what was awakening me at three am every morning. I did that for a week, but nothing happened at that hour that would have awakened me from a sound sleep.8
That was one whole week of not sleeping at all, except the cat naps I was taking at my desk at work. I was a junior partner at a very well known law firm and I had been warned that I had to get my sleep habits under control, or they would have to consider letting me go. I had been their Golden Boy for the last five years and could do no wrong. Now, suddenly, I was an embarrassment to them. I assured them that it was just a very temporary problem and I would be back good as new within the week.9
I could tell they really didn't believe that, but since I had been with the firm for some time and had always been one of their best at winning high profile cases in court, they really hoped it would be temporary. 10
I decided that, since after a week of being awake at three am and not being any closer to finding out why I was waking up at this ungodly hour every night, that I started going to bed at the usual time again. I continued waking up at the same hour each night, until I finally found myself unemployed and on the verge of losing everything I had worked so hard to obtain. Elizabeth left me, they were starting foreclosure proceedings on my home and I really didn't seem to care. I had stopped caring about anything. 11
The human mind is not able to function after being so long deprived of a full night's sleep. I started imagining that someone had invaded my mind and was manipulating my thoughts. I had no idea who it might be, but I knew he was there. I started hearing him constantly. Whether I was awake or asleep, he was with me. He started telling me things to do. Weird things. At first, I rejected everything he told me. After a few weeks, everything he said made perfect sense. He convinced me that sleep was something evil. Sleep was invented by a demon to make humans waste half of their lives. It was a complete waste of time. 12
By this time, he had me convinced. I would never again lay my head down to sleep. I spent the hours I used to spend sleeping, looking for ways to keep myself awake. 13
It started by drinking coffee all night. When that no longer worked I added pills that would keep my mind active all night. 14
At first, it was glorious. I read most of the night. I did many hours of exercise. I would look in the mirror and admire the muscles I was adding to my wasted body. I looked fantastic. I could not understand why no one seemed to want to be around me any more. They must be jealous of me. 15
I tried to explain to the only friend I had left who would still speak to me, the wisdom of living this new lifestyle. I told him he was sleeping half of his life away, and that sleep wasn't important. I showed him how good I looked and how strong I had become. He just couldn't see it. The last day I saw my friend, he tried to tell me that my mirror was showing me a false image of myself. How could he think such a thing?16
I have never felt better nor looked better in my life. Elizabeth would be so sorry for dumping me when she saw the new me. I would have to call her soon and let her know that.17
Shortly after that, my new friend started telling me how unwise it was to eat. I had become so superior to others, that I no longer needed to feed my body. It had become self sustaining. That freed so much more of my precious time. I no longer had to be chained to the need for food. That meant I no longer had to leave the house for any reason. 18
For the last week, someone had been pounding on my door everyday. My friend told me not to answer the door. He said someone was trying to evict me from my home. I could not allow that. They had called me on the phone until I finally got smart and pulled the plug out of the wall. Now, I know I no longer have to waste any of my precious time on such frivolous nonsense. I had started to write my autobiography. People would be enthralled when they read my masterpiece. They would realize that I was no longer a weak, mortal man. I had become all knowing. I knew all the secrets of the universe, and I must get it all down on paper before my time ran out. 19
I went from my writing, to my exercising, to standing in front of my full length mirror on the wall for hours. My body was exceptional. My muscles were growing on a daily basis and I could see my head expanding as my mind absorbed all the secrets of this great universe.20
I knew I had to get all the secrets down on paper so the world would understand. I boarded up all the doors and windows. I could not allow average men to stop me from completing my important work. The world would soon realize what a genius I had become. No one would dare say I was paranoid after they read my great works. My writings would be read by more mortals than the Bible had been. I could not allow anyone to stop me.
***21
Elizabeth stood at the door, waiting for the police to break down the front door. She had finally made them understand that Robert had not been seen by anyone for over a month and she was very worried about him. He was not answering his phone, nor responding to knocks at his door. She was certain there was something dreadfully wrong. She would accept full responsibility for any damage. After all, she had loved him for years before he had gone through such a drastic change. She still worried about him. 22
She was very nervous as the last barricade came down and the officer opened the door.23
When they did, they immediately were hit by the odor of death.24
They insisted that Elizabeth stay outside while they checked on Robert. They entered the living room and looked around. They were astonished. Robert sat in a chair; his skeletal body clutching a pencil tightly in his right hand. Evey surface in the house, paper, paper towels, walls, chairs, tables, and even the floor was covered over and over with the words: I am, I am, I am, I am, I am,I am....................................25
You didn't really didn't expect the secrets of the universe from a mad man, did you?26
Author notes
inspired by #4 crazy 'Justice'
Tricia3
contest entry option #2 horror
A contest entry
- -Peel Off the Screen to Sit Next to Me- by lenore2010.
425 points, ended March 11, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - 13th Friday Contest-13 Options!(Prewrites Allowed) by Cupcake14.
110 points, ended March 28, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Story Contest #2 (Options) by VelvetWings.
350 points, ended April 10, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Contest ANYTHING!!!!!!! by DeathByChocolate.
170 points, ended April 13, 48 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Of a Depraved Mind by Night Terrors.
340 points, ended April 19, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - March Madness by Jennywinnie.
175 points, ended May 21, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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Clever, imaginative, and deftly written. The ending sent a bit of a shiver up my spine. Good job!
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Amazing
Very interesting and dark and his ways of thinking were wow words cant describe. It was simple yet so complex! -
You would make Poe proud!
You could add, "Do you think I'm mad? Would a madman do this?"But no, because it would be to much like a "Tell Tale Heart". Bravo Tricia 3.
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Wow. This was one of the best stories I've read in a long time. I was kind of disappointed that it was left as a cliffhanger, but you could always go back and continue if you wanted to. Nice work
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Great fun! You have a truly twisted imagination Trish. Enjoyed this very much. Made me think about those nights when I wake up at three. No voices though, just need to pee.
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that was absoulty excellent! i loved it, it was really interesting and when i started reading it i couldnt stop. well done
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Thanks for the applause
And the great comment
Trish
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Hmm this was way out there. Insomia really can make you lose it. Maybe your story is so freaky because it does have a taste of truth to it. I think prehaps it is at least a very real possibilty.
The Positives:
You have a wonderful story here. Great Characters and some really brillant ideas. I loved this.
The Negatives:
I don't see anything wrong with this you did a great job.
My Favorite Part:
Elizabeth stood at the door, waiting for the police to break down the front door. She had finally made them understand that Robert had not been seen by anyone for over a month and she was very worried about him. He was not answering his phone, nor responding to knocks at his door. She was certain there was something dreadfully wrong. She would accept full responsibility for any damage. After all, she had loved him for years before he had gone through such a drastic change. She still worried about him. 22
She was very nervous as the last barricade came down and the officer opened the door.23
When they did, they immediately were hit by the odor of death.24
They insisted that Elizabeth stay outside while they checked on Robert. They entered the living room and looked around. They were astonished. Robert sat in a chair; his skeletal body clutching a pencil tightly in his right hand. Evey surface in the house, paper, paper towels, walls, chairs, tables, and even the floor was covered over and over with the words: I am, I am, I am, I am, I am,I am....................................25
You didn't really didn't expect the secrets of the universe from a mad man, did you?26
This was a really freaky ending I thought it was very twisted. You did an amazing job.
Overall:
I give this an 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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Thank you so much for your comments
I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was fun to write.
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Wow! This is very unusual and original. It is chilling and left me wanting more. The ending was perfect, I'm not saying that, its just that it ended too soon. I was so engrossed its seemed but a few seconds. Excellent write. I have to read more of your stories.
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Wow very nice. Very unique too. Everything fits perfectly and smoothly. I have a friendbthat has a sleeping disorder. I should make sure she's not hearing any voices that's telling her what to do.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I'm glad you enjoyed it
I come up with all sort of weird ideas on sleepless nights.
Trish
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Ooohy. Creepy and rather chilling in the matter-of-fact way it was written, but still greatly done.
Short, but I liked it. Though the fact that I also suffer from mild insomnia is beginning to creep me out a bit.
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Thank you
I really appreciate your comment and the applause
Trish
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This was a fun read. I could see all the descriptive imformation you gave.
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Glad you liked it
Trish
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very awesome tale here... darkly entertaining... I deal with insomnia A LOT and this made me a little creeped out.
I thought it was astoundingly well written. The imagery and characterization was brilliant. I loved this... probably one of my new favorites here on SW 
Great work!
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Thank you Thank you
What a great comment! Nice to be one of someone's favorites. I get most of my weird inspiration during the middle of the night when I can't sleep.
Trish -
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You're most welcome lol, I understand that- I'm the same way
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Dude, that is weird. AWESOME! Love it! Good writing. I do agree with my friend the comment bellow mine;it was a tad vague. Otherwise great!
GOOD LUCK!
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Thank you for the comment
I can write some weird pieces in the middle of the night when I can't sleep
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A few small things i thought i would point out:
From somewhere between p.8-p.11 i think that there should maybe be a little more explination of how the sleep deprivation effected him. It seemed a little vague to me what he was doing that lost him his job and his lady. I know you kinda state it later on, but i just figured i would leave you with that little thought...
In p. 12 "He started to tell me things to do" I believe that it would flow better if you said "He started to tell me to do things"
In p.21 you use mortal one too many times
Now for the story part of my critique:
The ending blew me away!!! It was such a great way to end it all. This piece takes an almost cliched topic and turns it into something new, which excited me. Well done.
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Thanks for your comment
And I'll definitely check out your suggestions
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My friend, this is the weirdest tale I have ever read
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You really should win some of those contests. You have taken a perfectly average situation, with an average guy, and turned it into a nightmare.
For all of us who have suffered bouts of Insomnia, let me assure you it will scare us into 'Sleep Center' next time.
Geri
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Thanks Geri
What a great compliment. I consider myself very weird and I like to write weird stories.
I wrote it for a contest.
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This is a nice story and drew me in; both the beginning and the ending were delightful (the latter of which made me chuckle a bit) and everything in between was nice, psychological filler.
I love reading stories where the main character goes crazy, although a bit more about why or how he became crazy would be nice.
Unfortunately for the contest, it doesn't read like a horror story so it wasn't quite what I was looking for. Thanks for sharing it with me though as it was a great read.
~Sparrow
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Thank you for your nice comment.
Trish
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wow this was reallyy good.. ur a great writer =]]
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Thank you
And what a great compliment. I appreciate it.
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WoW. this story captures yo and just takes hold.. Great Job.
Only a few suggestions paragraph)6) you say Then, each night, it started to take longer each night,.,,,,,, I think this could flow a little better, maybe?
and in paragragh (22) you use the word dreadfully in two senteces rather close together.. YOu might want to change that, I don't know.. It's your story and a really good one Poe would have enjoyed it. .
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thank you
I appreciate all comments I can use to make my story better.
I will make some changes
And the comparison to Poe, priceless!
Trish
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This was a good story. It didn't have any grammatical errors in it. And it sucked me in very fast. I couldn't stop reading it till the end. Great job!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thank you
I glad it grabbed you and didnt let go. One of my weird, late night ramblings.
Trish
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haha I get those a lot. The best stories come out of that time, I think
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Hey, this was really good. It sucked me in from the beginning, and it kept me interested untill the end.
A few suggestions thou, if I may. For one, somthing I noticed was thatat the beginning he said that it scared the hell out of him, yet the only time I remember that he was scared was when the voice or his "friend" first started talking to him, but that lasted for a very short period of time. That leads to number two, which is, alhtoug this was great, I think it would be better if you slowed it down, made the process a little more... disturbing, go into more detail, let the relationship between him and his frind grow, and also, let there be more detail when he is unable to sleep. Also, let him continue to slip while his life is falling apart, you talked about that breifly, mainly, you just said is happened. But from my experience, you can't just SAY it happened, you have to MAKE it happen.
Another thing, and this is just a suggestion, somthing that might make this story aweome might be a question. Don't tell the reader's he is insane, try and convince us that he is right. that is a difficult thing to do, but it can be so fun to see in the insanes eyes just for a while. After I am done reading, I like to think "WOAH!" this story built that up, but ended instead with a chuckle. I don't really think that "You really didn't expect the secrets of the universe from a mad man, did you?" was really necasary.
Anyway, I really did like it, it was very enjoyable and entertaining. I'm sorry about the critism, but nothings perfect, and everything can use improvement, no matter how amazing. By the way, I disagree with Doombunny, I think it's good that you never told us what is was that he had. ^_^
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Thanks
It sounds like you've got some pretty good ideas.I may try to rewrite it. I wrote it in a few minutes for a contest, and that's how it came out. I haven't really put any thought into it.
It could use some expounding.
Thanks
Trish
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Was it schziphorenia you were talking about by any chance? Could you elaborate more on what the disorder is?
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just when -no need for the just
Elizabeth- add a * and then a line break before writing Elizabeth
Well..why did she leave him if she was so worried?
Good story! Best of luck in the contest!
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Thanks for your comments. It sounds like schziphorenia to me, but I'm not a shrink. I'm just writing a nonsensical little tale. You'll have to draw your own conclusions.
She probably left him because he was totally insane, but that doesn't stop you from worrying about a loved one. Believe me, I know.
Thanks again,
Trish
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I loved this. Every part. It makes it seem really easy to just go completely insane. Good luck in the contest. =]
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Thank you
I'm so glad you liked it.
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