Till Death Do Us Part

“Have I ever told you how much I love sunken ships?” Maxzine exclaimed.1

“Yeah, you have, and for a girl, you do know that that’s kinda weird…” I said, amused.2

A tinkling laugh escaped her scarlet lips. It sounded so majestic and kept echoing in my ears.3

We finally arrived in our favorite spot: the place of the sunken ship. We went there for a class outing, and she kept pestering everyone to come with her. Since they can’t resist her bubbly attitude, they go along with her anyways.4

We sat on the very top, like Jack and Rose did in the Titanic. She was, again, staring into oblivion, deep in thought.5

“Kyle?” she called.6

“Hmm?” I said in reply, savoring the moment.7

“Remember what I told you last week?”8

My heart then fell. The memory still vivid in my mind; I dread the day it’ll come.9

“Do you really have to go?” I asked her.10

“I’m afraid so…” her voice trailing.11

“When are you coming back?” I asked.12

She didn’t reply.13

“Will you promise me one thing?” she said after a long pause.14

“Anything.”15

She hesitated for a while and sighed. “I want to see you back here ten years from now. Can you do that?”16

“I promise.” I simply said without hesitancy. 17

She nodded and stared back again into oblivion, way over at the very end of the ocean, as if she can spot that.18

We went home after an hour. The trip was very quiet, and the silence was deafening. I can’t take it, but tried to.19

Ten years have come and gone since that day.20

The memory is still clear as glass in my mind.21

We headed home and I dropped her in front of their house. We were planning to watch a movie and then head again for the sunken ship.22

I went by their house that afternoon.23

She wasn’t there.24

But there was a note she left for me, written in a floral stationary.25

It said:26

Dear Kyle,27

I’m sorry if I didn’t tell you, but I have no idea how to start. As you have probably noticed, we left this morning. I’m really sorry, once again, for not telling you. I know that I should’ve said a proper goodbye but I have no idea.28

Goodbye, Kyle. I’ll miss you. See you in ten years.29

XOXO, Maxzine30

I remember crying alone at the ship that day.31

I quickly brushed the memory away.32

I waited patiently in the sunken ship, looking for a sign of her long, brown hair, flowing gently behind her back; her eyes shining like the sun; her skin reflecting the clear sky; her silver necklace that I gave her for her birthday glowing, and her hands, flowing like the waves of the ocean.33

“Hello, Kyle.” A voice said.34

I turned around, and saw her.35

She was like then, and she wore her blue summer dress that she wore ten years ago.36

“How are you?” she asked.37

“Max!” I said, and ran towards her and hugged her fiercely.38

She smiled and let go.39

“How are things going so far?” she asked as we headed for the ship.40

“Well, the guys are practicing for the game of the season, and the girls are planning a party— as usual.”41

“Why aren’t you with the guys?”42

“I told them I was out sick.” 43

She giggled. “Oh, Kyle, what a great liar you are!”44

I just smiled. 45

“How about you? How are things?” I asked her.46

“Mom’s doing well with her bake shop and restaurant, and Dad’s still coaching the baseball team along with the businesses he runs. My sister and I have our own fashion store, after pestering and annoying dad for 8 months. He finally accepted the idea that we’re old enough to run a business. But my sister’s running it alone now.” She explained.47

“Why? Are you that busy?” I asked her.48

She didn’t reply.49

Here we go again.50

“I have to tell you something.” She suddenly said.51

“What?” I asked, half-worried from the tone of her voice.52

“I— I—have to go…” she stammered.53

“But you just got here!” I protested.54

“Kyle, I shouldn’t be here!”55

“Why?!”56

“Kyle, I’m sorry… I’ll really miss you.”57

“Maxzine?! What’s the matter?!” I asked her.58

“Turn around.” She commanded.59

“But—“60

“Turn around.” She said in an expressionless voice, but tears flowing down her face.61

I did so. I hear her sniffing. And then I felt the strong breeze of the wind. And the loud splashing of the waves drained every sound.62

I turned around.63

She wasn’t there.64

“Kyle!” a voice said. I turned around and saw Mark.65

“Who were you talking to awhile ago?” he asked, laughing. “What, are you auditioning for a play?”66

“No, I was with Maxzine.”67

Mark laughed again. “Maxzine. Yeah, right. The heat of the sun’s getting into you. Dude, Maxzine’s been dead for a year!”68

“Haha.” I sarcastically said. “Stop joking, Mark. I was just talking with Maxzine. She’ll kill you for making a joke like that.”69

Mark stared at me; horror in his eyes. “Dude, Maxzine’s dead. Didn’t you know? She died here last year.”70

“What?” I asked, disbelieving.71

“I met with her that day, and she said she was going to surprise you. I left her because I was heading for an important meeting with the student council. She waited here by the sunken ship, but the tide was going in, and she slipped while on the boat as she was climbing up.”72

“No, that can’t be. I was with her just a few minutes ago!”73

“C’mon, I’ll show you something…” Mark said, leading me to the side of the boat.74

“See that?” he pointed on a fading red spot on the ship.75

“That’s her blood.” Mark said.76

I felt goose bumps all over my body. I saw a carved name: Maxzine.77

“No…” I said.78

But I now know the truth.79

Maxzine came back. She came back to stick with her promise.80

I then heard a whisper. “I love you, Kyle. I love you to death.”81

It sent chills down my spine.82

She did come back. To fulfill her promise.83

I then heard a tinkle. I automatically looked down.84

It was her necklace; the necklace I gave her.85

I heard another whisper.86

"Till death do us part."87

Author notes

So they're not exactly married, but I like the title

So, the following is for the contest rules I entered:

CONTEST 1: (Alaskan.Rain)
My picture: ( i didn't follow the caption peace! )
http://images-1.redbubble.net/img/art/size:large/view:main/648369-3-tobermory-shipwreck.jpg

Err... i have no idea where I can find rule #6. alicecullen88 signin' off! ciao! xoxo.


CONTEST 2: (Savage)
SN:
alicecullen88

CONTEST 3: (Pomodorina)
SN:
alicecullen88

CONTEST 4: (BurstYourBubble)
I chose option three! A sad love story!

CONTEST 5: (Lavanya)
I'm a Filipino, alicecullen88

CONTEST 6: (lenore2010)
My favorite book is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I chose prompt 1.

CONTEST 7: (MissIndecisive)
I chose option 6.

CONTEST 8: (powerpuffs)
Banana Bugs Eat Five Funky Cars!

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • CrystalFairyWings
    October 24
    Edit | Reply
    Mushy!!!!!!!!! Ok I liked this one! well done, BUT I DONT LIKE MUSHY SORRY


    • August Rein
      October 24
      Edit | Reply
      Nah. It's cool I'm not a fan of mushy stuffs, but chain messages are just so fascinating


  • twilight2411
    October 14
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely story but sad too! Love it! But still so sad!


  • Lost Soul 12 silver member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    Whoa! Good story! Extremly sad, but that happens. Sometimes, people that lost someone they love, go a little crazy. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderfu.


  • Dassy
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    is it innappropriate to say that that was amazingly cute? i loved it! amazing sound detail and there was just enough description for me to slightly make out characters,,, but thats ok.


  • LivingDeadGirl56
    April 19
    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was lacking in depth and characterization. You didn't really tell us anything except for the stuff about her family and that she loved sunken ships. But this was very well-written and I like your fluency and style. Good job and thanks for entering.


  • citcat
    April 14
    Edit | Reply
    wow, really well written. well done your a finalist!


  • BigSouth
    April 3
    Edit | Reply
    ahhh!! goose bumps! lol
    i loved this!
    very creative..you had me hooked ;]


  • powerpuffs
    March 30

    Edit | Reply

    really really good

    nie work!! ur gonna have good placing!!!! this was just perfect. great flow!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for entering my contest, an di hoe to her more from u in the future
    Thanks!
    Powerpuffs(Pp)


  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    wow um...sweet?? is that the right word. sad. thats the one.

  • Ahava
    March 25
    Edit | Reply
    Awes how sad! Why did she come back a year early???
    I also wouldn't mind knowing how old they were because ten years can be a long time and yet they seem like they are in middle or high school in both parts. However this was well written and I'm very sorry for Kyle. He most definitely did not deserve to lose her like that. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.

    • August Rein
      March 26
      Edit | Reply
      She wanted to surprise Kyle and call her from her phone the moment she sits on the sunken ship, but, as stated, she slipped and fell. They're both thirteen years, by the way.


  • Savage
    March 21

    Edit | Reply
    Alaskan.Rain? This was a really melancholy story, you made it perfectly. You've improved a chain mail message by so much, this was really... (I can't say awesome, I need a synonym that says the same thing but is sadder)... awesomely-sad?


  • lenore2010
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    Awwwwwww. This was so sad... I was at the end of “66” and a sense of dread just rose up... =[
    Nice story, and good luck!

    • August Rein
      March 4
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the compliment This is kind of an inspiration from a chain message that I kept receiving, and i immediately thought "Why not?" Love your contest, by the way


  • Maggie Kay
    March 2
    Edit | Reply
    Thankz for entering
    Nice!
    good twist at the end
    *high 5* haha


  • Cajun.Lullaby
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    Omgosh, I LOVE this piece! I'm hard to get strong emotions out of but this brought tears to my eyes. This is one of my favorite picture prompts and you used to so very well!

    You see, I grew up on Lake Michigan and the morning after every thunderstorm my mother and I would roam the shore collecting beach glass, driftwood, and fossils. There were shipwrecks in that lake and stories that lived on forever. Your stories brought those memories flooding back to me like I was walking there just yesterday.

    There were tears in my eyes as I read your conclusion and I felt the chills race down my spine.

    Beautifully cast and the title is perfect! This one is definately a finalist!

    Thanks for entering!

    • August Rein
      March 1
      Edit | Reply
      Like, wow! I actually find my own piece boring, you know. But when i read your comment, i was, like, "It was good?" Thanks for the praises, btw I love your contest!

1 - 26 of 26