The Guardian Angel(Title until I can find a Better, more fitting one)

"Malaika, when are you gonna find a human?" asked my best friend,Sachiel.1

" We've been though this a billion times. I. Don't. Want. A. Human, Sach. Why do you care?"2

Now, I could carry this conversation on and on and on, but I think I'll fill you in on a couple things. Firstly, Sachiel and I are Guardian Angels. We help the people of the world get by righteously. Like a conscience. Even our names closely relate to the name, "Angel".But, sadly, we are also the lowest class of Angels, the ones who are worse than dirt, in the Upper Angel's opinion. But I don't think so. We are beautiful. We are humans, er, Angels, not dirt. But, on with the story.3

"Humans give you the ability to go in the higher ranks of Angels, and I'm gonna get one today! I want to be with you forever, so, please, get one! I never want to leave you! For me, Mal!"4

Sachiel. Yup, the average worry wart. But if it shuts him up...5

"Fine, I'll get a human if you promise to love me forever."6

Yeah, me and Sach are, well, together.7

"Thanks, Mal, you won't regret this! I heard humans are fun!"8

Define fun, I thought tiredly. This better be worth it. We have to see, the Upper Angels to even get a human. And they are not fun to be with if you're a Guardian, let me tell you.9

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"Name?" asked the Upper Angel at the front desk.11

I read her name tag, Angela. Yeah, a lot of born Upper Angels are not that imaginative when it came to naming. Angelo, Angela, Angelica. I even knew a guy named Angel. I fell sorry for him. But, back to the story.12

"Malaika and Sachiel." Sach said quietly.13

"Nice names. Oh, let me guess, you're here to be a guardian!" she sneered, emphasizing "guardian".14

"Yes, ma'am."15

"Oh, go right through that door. And remember, you're still not as good as us Upper Angels!"16

Man, I told you they hated us! And they're vain! Even worse!17

Sach and I walked into the door Angela pointed to. And inside was the obvious place to find a human.18

Inside was a giant globe, about as big as an average sized closet. And just as wide. On the globe were human names, the ones without guardian angels. Judging by a sign that said instructions on the wall, you were supposed to get a feeling if you find the right human for you. Then, simply touch it and you'd be able to transport to the said human's name at will. They would be the only ones who could see you. And, you could come back home as you please, but when your human is in trouble, you all of the sudden are there, just like that. I wondered if it was worth it. But Sach seemed to be pleading with me to do this, so I didn't run out screaming,"I cant take this!"19

That, and, the Upper Angel was outside this door and if I ran ou screaming, she would just sneer at me and rant about how Guardians are so retarded.20

So, I stayed.21

Which to pick, I thought, There was Jackie from California, Bill from Australia, and so on and so on. But, the, as if a force was dragging my eyeballs so a direct name, I saw who I was o be with. I read the name:22

James Winthrop, Age 15, Hawaii.23

My fingers were also being controlled as I touched the mini name. I felt that I knew all of him. His birthday, his clothes, his girlfriend(which, I strangely felt jealous of), even his favorite song. I saw Sach was having the same experience. When he was done, he looked over and smiled, then vanished, most likely to his human. So I did the same. I thought that I wanted to go there, and as soon as I did, I was being transported at the speed of light.24

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It was an easy journey, it took five seconds. I looked around. All around me was palm trees, a beautiful beach with pure white sand and sparkling turquoise waters. But, it wasn't that I was focused on right the.26

A teenager, black hair with blue eyes was talking to a frizzy read haired girl around his age wearing a towel wrapped around a swimsuit. At least, I hoped it was wrapped around a swimsuit. But, I could hardly care less about the girl. Because that boy was James. I could just tell. It's a guardian thing.27

My James, I thought, not hers.28

I was surprised at this thought. Was I falling in love with the human? That's totally against the rules! If the Angel Council fond out, let's just say I'd be cleaning up the Milky Way of debris for, oh, ETERNITY!!! But, yet, I could hardly care. I walked toward James.29

"Hello, James."30

"Um, who are you?" he asked quizzically.31

His supposed girlfriend stared at him.32

"Jamie, I'm Georgina, remember? Your girlfriend?"33

He stared at her as if she were crazy.34

"No, the girl. There! The one with blond hair!"35

He pointed straight at me. I stifled a giggle. The girl human couldn't dee me. Only James could.36

"James, she can't hear me. You're the only one who can. I'm your guardian angel. My mane is Malaika. But, please, call me Mal. Now, I gotta go for now, but, James, remember. I love you."37

I vanished, back into the Angel World(We Angels are not very imaginative). Next thing on my to do list would be hard, yet necessary. 38

-------------------------------------------------------39

I rang the doorbell to Sachs house.40

He opened the door, happiness played all over his face. I felt like I was gonna cry.41

"Mal! You're here! What did I tell you? Is having a human fun or what? Mines a dude named Jose and he lives in Mexico! In Mexico, they speak Spanish? Isn't that weird? Those crazy humans? And guess what else? He can see me! He's four and he thinks I'm his inaginar-"42

I cut him short.43

"Sach, we need to talk. I-"44

He could guess what I was going to say. His eyes were reflections of pure terror.45

"W-why? I can change! Please! Don't leave me, Mal!"46

He was now sobbing and soon I was sobbing right along with him.47

"I-i'm sorry,Sach. I l-love you a-and I always will. But, I can't go on. I'll always treasure the tome we had. Goodbye, Sach."48

And I left him. I was still sobbing in my hands. This human better be worth it. Or else, if the council finds out, I'm gonna be cleaning up space debris!

Author notes

My favorite place is Barnes and Noble. Or at a friends house.

This is about a guardian angel who falls in love with the human they're watching over, though the love is forbidden.

Part 1 of three or four. Part two is out.
Write any original supernatural/fantasy story. Witches, werewolves, fairies, anything. Just make sure it's good.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • LucidLakes
    March 26
    Edit | Reply
    This was a light-hearted sweet tale. I really like the angel names, very beautiful. There were a few things wrong, a lot of misspelled words and it seemed a little rushed towards the end. It left off as if there was more to happen. But besides all that, sweet story.

    Good luck in the contest. (:


  • MissIndecisive
    March 26
    Edit | Reply
    I really like this. It's very unique and creative. You have a few spelling and grammar errors, but nothing major. I also think maybe you could have been a bit more descriptive. But overall, I really enjoyed it. The angel hierarchy is very original, and the ending is satisfying enough to make me curious about what comes next. Thank you for entering my contest.

  • Ahava
    March 25
    Edit | Reply
    This is an interesting story and an interesting concept. Especially with how the angels choose their humans. I'm not quite sure about how quickly she fell in love with her human, and I can't wait to see how it turns out. Good job with this and good luck in the contest.


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    March 14

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very interesting concept, guardian angels, you could take this in many different directions. A few suggestions to make this seam more 'real' or 'complete' would be to do some editing, you could catch most of your errors with a quick read through, you forget letters, add letters, swap words, things like that. Second, the onset of love for the human boy would probably be lust, her instant sense of love is probably rather shallow and her rash decission to dump Sach is very impossilary (is that a word?), it should take her longer, more thought, more debating, everything seemed very rushed. I like the concept and your writing has a lot of potental. Thank you for entering the contest and good luck!


  • Living.Disaster
    March 10
    Edit | Reply
    Pretty intresting.I did see maybe one or two spelling errors,and you tell the story in a strange,but not bad way.
    But then good thing is you kept my attention which is hard to do if the genere of the story isn't Dark.But you kept it pretty well,so Kudos to you for that.

    Thanks for entering and Good Luck.


  • Night Terrors
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the idea of this. I love angels

    The positives:

    Great idea, and you made it very interesting. I liked reading this.

    The Negatives: You need to read this out loud you seem to repeat yourself a lot. Try comming up with another way of telling the back story perhaps?

    My Favorite part:

    I rang the doorbell to Sachs house.40

    He opened the door, happiness played all over his face. I felt like I was gonna cry.41

    "Mal! You're here! What did I tell you? Is having a human fun or what? Mines a dude named Jose and he lives in Mexico! In Mexico, they speak Spanish? Isn't that weird? Those crazy humans? And guess what else? He can see me! He's four and he thinks I'm his inaginar-"42

    I cut him short.43

    "Sach, we need to talk. I-"44

    He could guess what I was going to say. His eyes were reflections of pure terror.45

    "W-why? I can change! Please! Don't leave me, Mal!"46

    He was now sobbing and soon I was sobbing right along with him.47

    "I-i'm sorry,Sach. I l-love you a-and I always will. But, I can't go on. I'll always treasure the tome we had. Goodbye, Sach."48

    And I left him. I was still sobbing in my hands. This human better be worth it. Or else, if the council finds out, I'm gonna be cleaning up space debris!

    This part really was fun to read i liked the dialouge.


  • Owen Aero
    March 3
    Edit | Reply
    First of all, thanks for entering the contest, and good luck in the other ones as well.
    This was a very original idea, and it had some amusing takes on the social order of the angels. I think with a little work, you could have a really good piece here. The ending seemed abrupt and rushed, so I would definitely encourage you to continue with the story.


  • TeamJasperHale
    March 1
    Edit | Reply
    PLEASE, PLEASE GO ON!!!!!!
    I need to know what happens next!!!!!!!!!!


  • rinzu
    March 1
    Edit | Reply
    AMAZING...FORBIDDEN LOVE STORIES ARE ALWAYS PAINFUL YET AMAZING...


  • Lois.Stone
    February 28

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Well done, that is really good. You should continue! And your title is fine, unless, of course, you find something better, lol. well done!

    xxx


  • bethk-b
    February 28
    Edit | Reply
    Cool, thats really good! =D good luck in this contest!!

    xx

1 - 12 of 12