The Even Newer Testament

I close my eyes and wait for it. the first split, splat, silently tapping on my shoulder, waiting for me to turn around and greet another of its kind. The simplest thing in the world. The perfect time for a revelation, or a sudden idea, or something. But I've run out of those. I can only revise.1

It is raining and I am soaked and it feels wonderful. The kind of wonderful you felt as a kid with your first ice cream cone - bubblegum flavor. The kind of wonderful you felt when you got your first pet, when you see nothing but the soft fur and trusting eyes of one animal that you know you can and will love. And that, in itself, deserves to be the main part of the Even Newer Testament. I've been thinking of writing one. Just like the New Testament spawned from the Old Testament, the Even Newer Testament would have connections to the New. After all, I was baptized. I grew up in a society influenced by phrases like 'Oh my god' and 'Jesus Christ'. I couldn't escape religion, so I faced it head-on and in the end I took what I liked, what I respected from the religion I was born into - Christianity - and added to it. I made my own religion. My own beliefs.2

These days, it seems we have to believe in a whole group of things. Everything's cluttered together - if you accept this, you must accept that as well. Whether you want to or not. But why does this have to be the standard? Why can't I believe in thunderstorms and warmth and reincarnation and Somewhere Better? Even more, why should I, or anyone else, expect someone to accept my beliefs as their own? Why should that be expected of me?3

I know one thing. I believe in catching as many raindrops as possible on your tongue, and wearing your soaking jacket even after getting out of the storm, and taking a minute to settle yourself as you're standing, arms out, head up, breath held slightly, in the middle of a fucking miracle. I believe in doing everything I can to be right and good and pure as the rain drops tapping at my shoulder and resting on my skin, while sometimes taking a road which fits only my mood or thoughts at that moment and nothing else. I believe in acceptig good things in your life and trying to fix the bad, seeing the good behind the storm and, to balance out my life and perspective, the bad behind the rainbow. It's there, sure, and it always will be. But the more obvious choice, be it good or bad, is what we accept and use to rule. And I don't believe in obvious choices. I want to one day follow the path of a raindrop, as it is formed and released, as it heads down farther and farther until it finally hits and explodes. I want to know what it's like. Is the fall terrifying? Does a raindrop notice the explosion? Do we, as the targets, ignore the millions of tiny bombs aimed at us? Do we dare?4