My window was open and the fresh smell of summer rain drifted in. I took a deep breath; the smell of rain was one of my favorite scents.1
Sighing, I collapsed onto my bed, feeling the need to cry but not quite able to let the tears flow from my eyes. Mom and Dad had forbidden me from seeing Chris anymore. That was much easier said than done. He was my first love and we were still very much in love. For a while we just talked on the phone and instant messaged each other. But then my parents found out and took away my phone, laptop, and put a password on the home computer. It was a mystery to me; why did they hate him so much? Chris was the sweetest guy I'd ever known and he had always been good in front of my parents; polite, well-dressed, got good grades, everything. My parent's should have loved him.2
THUMP. I sat up quickly, wondering if I was hearing things. Then I heard it again. THUMP. Something hitting my window. My heart skipped a beat before it started up again, faster. Could it be...?3
I practically sprinted to the window; I peered out, looking through the pelting rain down to the sidewalk. There he was, staring up at my window, another rock in his hand ready to be thrown.4
"Juliet..." Chris called. "Come with me."5
"Where? It's two a.m., Chris"6
"I don't know where; away from here. Somewhere we can be together. Please... I love you. I can't stand being away from you anymore."7
I sighed, a tear finally leaking out of my eyes. It tore my heart to see Chris in pain like this. "What about my parents? And college?"8
"We'll figure it out," Chris said optimistically. "I have a lot of money I've been saving up, it will last us for a long time. And I'll get a job."9
"Chris," I whispered longingly. My mind was racing. Should I go with him and break my parents' hearts? Or should I stay and slowly, painfully, try to mend my own broken heart, tortured by thoughts of Chris?10
"Will you leave even if I don't go with you?" I asked.11
Chris's brown eyes looked into mine; even though he was two stories down I could see the love that filled those eyes. "Yes." He looked down in shame, "My parents kicked me out." My heartstrings tore when I heard him say that. He didn't deserve that. "Please, Juliet," he pleaded. "I really don't want to leave without you, but I will if that's what you want. I love you so much. I can't stand this torture any longer. Come with me, or tell me you don't want me anymore, so I can just try to forget you."12
For a whole five minutes the only sound was that of the rain hitting the sidewalk while I tried to make up my mind; Chris patiently waited for me to say something. I glanced at my door, beyond which my parents slept peacefully in their room down the hall. Then I looked back out the window where the guy I loved more than my own life stood on the driveway, slowly getting soaked by the rain.13
I made up my mind. "Chris?" I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.14
"Yes?" he immediately answered, sounding nervous.15
"I'll come with you," I said. His face broke out in a smile of sheer joy. "Let me just grab some of my stuff, okay?"16
"Alright," he replied.17
As quickly as I could, I put on my shoes, slipped on my favorite hoodie and threw some clothes and my favorite CD's in a duffel bag. I took the screen out of my window and tossed my bag out.18
Right before I started climbing out, I gazed back at my room. This was the place I had lived in for nearly 18 years.... It was time for me to start a new life.19
I carefully climbed out the window to the small section of room below it. My heart skipped a beat as I looked down. It was higher up than I had thought.20
"Will you catch me?" I asked Chris.21
"Of course, baby." He took a few steps to get almost right under where I was.22
Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I sat down on the edge of the roof and slid off. Just a foot before the soles of my shoes hit the ground, Chris's strong arms caught my hips and slowed my fall. I collapsed into him, needing the comforting feel of his arms wrapped around me. He rubbed my back gently and kissed the top of my head when I let out a sob.23
"It'll be okay, Juliet. We'll be fine."24
I looked up at his face. His straight brown hair was plastered to his forehead by the rain and his eyes were filled with empathy and love.25
"I love you," I breathed, so quietly I didn't think he even heard me. But he did.26
"I love you, too. I always will," he whispered back and brushed a strand of my wet black hair out of my eyes. "Come on. We need to go now. I parked my car a few houses down."27
I nodded. Chris picked up my duffel bag and grabbing my hand, started running, and I followed him. We didn't know where we were going or what we were going to do once we got there, but that was okay. We had each other and in the end, that's all that really matters, right? No one was going to tear us apart again.28
Author notes
This one-shot is based on the song Check Yes Juliet by We the Kings, in case you guys didn't know 
It is majorlly un-edited so any and all suggestions will be much appreciated.
if you find bad spelling/grammar,please please please, do tell.
haha
critiqu it! What do you REALLY think of it?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Where's her head at?
Those 5 minutes...we don't get to know what either of them are really thinking here...and I think it's critical to the story, to explain her consequent actions.
Aside from that, I think you did a good job with the details and characters. It felt well rounded to me. I especially liked how you started off with a scent. People usually forget to write about that sense. And I also love the smell of rain. I open my windows to breathe it in during thunderstorms.
I also want to know, WHY is Chris such a bad guy in the eyes of the adults, here? I wonder if he has a dark secret of some kind...do you already know, or is the plot centered about their flight, not about the past?
*really REALLY wants to know!*
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haha you're the second person to say i should write about what they're thinking during those five minutes. As soon as I figure out how to put it into words, I probably will add that in.
And thank you! Smells are hard to describe; the only way to really describe them is to say their name. Like "The pie smelled like apple pie" well no duhhh. haha.
God knows. Bad first impression, most likely. My parents hate some of my friends just because of bad first impressions. *rolls eyes* prejudice people.
and yeah, the plot's centered around them running away, not the past. but oooh! dark secrets. They're fun to write about, haha.
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I think it's really sweet and I love that song so I figured that the story was based on it just from the title. I really like it but I think that you should have used some of the lyrics from the song in the story. Other than that it was quite lovely.
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Bravo! Amazing! Very well written and it kept my attention. I give it 2 thumbs up! Kepp it up!
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Engaging
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this (and I love that song!). I know what it's like to be in a similar situation and I think you characterized Juliet as compassionate and very brave. I like that you took a common situation (running away with/for a loved one) and wrote it in a slightly different (and modern) way. It felt very real.
The only thing I would've changed is Juliet's decision-making process. You do describe it in detail, but during the "five minutes" she spends deciding, I was really wondering what exactly was going through her head. After all, she's making a huge decision. Nothing major, just a style choice.
I really want to know what happens next, are you planning on writing more about Chris and Juliet?
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thank you!
Hm.... Yeah, there is a lot that I could add about what she's thinking in those five minutes. I'll probably go back one day and change this up a bit when I have time. I'll make sure to add some more of her thought process. (:
um, I probably won't write anymore on them just because this was meant to be just a one-shot based on the song, and I really have no idea where I could go with this.
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That was amazing, really well written. The characters and thier emotions were really good and were easy to relate to. I hope they have a nice life together.
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WOw that was really really good. it was beautifully written. you could feel the pain he was experciencing and all the emotion. it was a really good romance story. i could not see any major errors, it was mainly for getting the punctuation before the closing speechmarks. but nothing to put you off reading the story. anyway it was really well written and i loved it. well done
Citcat
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