I remember our first kiss

I remember our first kiss
you were trembling
I was nervous
but when our lips touched
it was bliss1

we both were hungry
as you lifted your face to mine
I held you in my arms
it was so divine2

our hearts pounded
our hands intertwined
nothing else existed
just our dancing lips3

it was like a fairy tale
so soft and so true
a delicious kiss
a warm embrace
I can't help but love you4

You changed me in so many ways
I grew bold and daring
I took chances to be near you every day
just to have your kiss sent my heart flaring5

My soul became connected to you
and it has not forgot
the touch of your heavenly lips
look into my eyes and tell me you love me not
you can't do it can you?6

let me feel the silky caress
of your soft, sweet, pillowy lips
if you don't, it is those the most I will miss
touch me, heart, mind, and soul with your kiss7


It was an illicit affair. He: married with children, and she: a friend of the family. 8

Hrithik crossed the Atlantic to make a better life for his family. He loved them very much at least he told her that many times. He couldn't ever leave his family. It was his duty to provide for them for the rest of their lives, even if it wasn't what he wanted. He could never be with her, not really with her, and she knew it. It broke her heart every time she thought about him. 9

Susie watched him leave that first night with a wide grin. She loved him with all her heart and he protested his love to her. They felt it in every glance, ever word, they knew they were made for each other. 10

***11

She'd sought out her true love for decades and had found none, until she met Hrithik. She'd received an e-mail from him for some business related thing, yet each word struck her. Every atom in her being screamed at her but she didn't understand what they said. She returned his e-mail with a friendly reply and didn't expect much else. To her pleasure he sent another, less businesslike, reply thanking her for her attention. And so it began.12

They didn't meet until months later, though they became friendly over the Internet. She even spoke with his wife once or twice. He sent her pictures of his children and instantly she became part of the family. It was that way once she traveled across the states to meet him on a business trip. They visited her at the hotel and eventually invited her into their home. They even took a trip to Washington to see the capital together. She'd been nervous at first but it didn't take long before she felt right at home.13

It didn't matter to any of them that their skin was different shades let alone their nationalities or religion. They were, at heart, the same. It was for this reason that his wife felt safe in letting him spend time alone with her. That first day alone was today; that first kiss created a bond between them. He knew it was wrong and felt guilty; he even told her this. Still, she didn't quite understand. Well... She knew what she was doing was wrong, to have an affair with a married man, it was something she swore she wouldn't do. Yet, somehow she knew he was her other half, her true love. He told her he knew his wife was not his true love, that he dreamt about his true love and Susie is the one that fit the face in the dream. That first kiss made her feel it for sure.14

It didn't go further, couldn't she knew, but that didn't stop her from dreaming. As he turned to look back at her while he walked away, she knew it wouldn't stop him either.15

***16

She didn't realize until he left that love could physically hurt. She always thought "heartache" was just some phrase made up by romanticists. Yet the separation tore her apart and her heart literally did ache. It didn't matter though, for she could still feel him on her lips. She would endure this small pain and so much more to have him look at her like that again.17

Several days later Hrithik returned with the family as they were going out after a while. Susie met his eye and she felt the connection between them so strong. It made the world stand still for several seconds and they were the only two in it. The power of his dark brown eyes made her believe in God and he was there behind those eyes. She would worship him for the rest of her life.18

They enjoyed themselves, the whole family as one for quite some time. They talked and laughed and shared their lives. Susie was happy just being there in his presence even if she had to share him. She got along with his wife and that felt great too. The children played and giggled and caused all sorts of trouble in the room; flipping switches and jumping on the beds. Susie played with them as if they were her own. She felt his eyes on her knowing he was imagining her with the child she bore him. She would have his child if she could, he was the only one she'd ever consider it for.19

Their time progressed as it tends to do and his wife excused herself to change the younger child's diaper. After she left, so much passed between Hrithik and Susie, yet they did nothing but look at each other. She not only saw but felt the love he had for her. It shook her like an electric jolt. He smiled and her body tingled. She didn't feel a lust for him in that moment. It was something she'd never known and never would feel in another. How could she have lived all her life without feeling this, she had no idea. It was a pure and pious feeling that can not be described and can only be known to those that have found their other half. In that moment she felt as if she and he were one being and they were still half way across the room from each other.20

He sped to save a lamp from falling over as his toddler giggled and tugged at the cord. As he walked back to his seat she felt compelled to reach out to him. She didn't want anything other than to touch him briefly. She knew the feelings inside her would increase at his divine touch. She put her hand out towards his waist and slid her hand softly across his stomach. It satisfied her need to no end. She delighted in the holy sensation it caused inside her.21

She did not expect what happened next and that made it all the sweeter. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. A soft, fleeting kiss. Then he kept walking the smile upon his face showed a world of wonder. Her entire body tingled, she knew her eyes glowed and heart sped up. This simple touch showed her more than anything his love for her. For it showed he was thinking of her. It told her that he wanted to be with her too and what she meant to him. The way their lips entwined in those few seconds wasn't about lust, heat, or hunger, it was about what was in their hearts, their true connection, their true love. It was the moment she knew she belonged to him and him to her. 22

In that kiss so much was said and felt, she couldn't ever do it justice. Their first kiss was wonderful, but this is the kiss that would stay with her for her lifetime.23

His wife returned and they went on as if nothing happened. It didn't matter, because she knew, would always know, the truth.24

She returned home after that, her business finished, with a light heart. While they remained friends, they never spoke of their love again for he could never be hers, at least... Not in this lifetime.

Author notes




for contest; Love me? Pain me? Hate me? by caitecola
Option 2 is kind of obvious this is mainly about love
Option 1 is two fold here, first the heartache when she first feels her love then the heartache of never being able to be with him again. I chose to write about these because they're subjects dear to my heart.

I prefer tea because I hate the taste and smell of coffee.


for contest; I WANT Ooey Gooey STUFF by Pomodorina
username: tonialoise age:34

for contest; ♥.::Love Stories::.♥ by Beautiful.Somewhere
type of love; forbidden (affair)

for contest; Lots of Love xx by Neolittlefish
my favorite movie is Star Trek IV

for contest; Love hurts. by easily amused
middle name; Anne


for contest; Kiss Me Fool!! by Bethany
I kissed a lion... I did?

In a list

A contest entry

kiss me?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 60 of 60

  • Miss Recondite
    August 5

    Edit | Reply

    Anonymous,

    I really enjoyed this story/poem, and the fact that you made it both was so delightful. This sotry was so interesting, you explained it very well, how she had never felt anything like it before, and wondered how her life was when she had never felt it. Forbidden love makes it all the more interesting, but it seemed sad when they weren't together.

    I found that this story could give hope to anyone who are still waiting to find their one and only true love. Like the myth, you were born with everything two. Two heads, two noses, but one soul and so on. Zues seperated them until the day the found the other half of their soul. This story/poem was so beautiful, I'm immediately entranced, and trying to keep my fingers away from pressing the add to finalist button becuase I am still writing this oh so lovely comment. Keep up the good work.

    I hope you enter my contests in the near future for I sincerely enjoyed your writing, and I mean that.
    Adding to finalist list. Great work!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


    • tonialoise
      August 5
      Edit | Reply
      You've heard of that myth too? I love that myth. In the back of my head I've had a story based on that myth but in a more literal sense. One of these days I'll write it.

      I'm very happy you liked my story and for giving such a great comment.


  • Crys Moro
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!! great job! It's a really nice piece I loved the beginning the poem like structure very creative. Keep up the good work!


  • kaekay
    June 27
    Edit | Reply
    Wow... This was great! The emotions of the characters was written very well. Good job!!!

  • First-Mate gold member
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, and me such a coffee person. I like the smell of brewing coffee. A good story and I am glad that they didn't just jump into bed like so many characters tend to do. Nicely written.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • iDifferent-
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting concept, although the more character development would be nice. I'll leave grammatical stuff to the vicious critics of storywrite.

    Good luck in my contest,
    ♥RayneFall♥

    • tonialoise
      June 15
      Edit | Reply
      I don't mind getting vicious critics (I'm one of the ones that goes line by line ) so if there's something in particular please let me know.

      I appreciate your reading and commenting too.


  • Fuzzyheart gold member
    June 8

    Edit | Reply
    Great! You manage to portray the characters emotions perfectly. Although its only a short story, you manage to create a conection between the Reader and the characters, and you want them to be together. just one word i want to say: Divorce? (lol)

    Great story!

    • tonialoise
      June 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, I appreciate it.

      I guess I didn't really mention it in the story but while Divorce seems like a nice easy option, Hrithik is Hindu and they don't believe in divorce. I did mention he does still love his wife, just not like he loved Susie.


  • Carina.J.LR
    May 14

    Edit | Reply
    I believe I'va read this story before, though it was a pleasure to read it again!

    Thanks for entering and goodluck!

    -Carina >smiles<

    • tonialoise
      May 14
      Edit | Reply
      oh, I didn't realize, I hadn't entered it in your contest before or didn't see a comment from you, but I'm glad you liked it the second time too.


  • Neolittlefish
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    It was really cute, then sad, then bittersweet to finish. I loved the way you split it into a poem and a story and the old chliche of forbidden love, great! well done and thanks for entering my contest


  • Violette silver member
    April 24

    Edit | Reply

    So sweet.

    But no thanx I have morning breath haha
    great work! At first I thought it was just a really cute poem but then there was a small stroy underneath it as well.

    Very sad and filled with conflicting emotions. Thanyou for entering this.


  • easily amused
    April 10
    Edit | Reply

    Awww.

    How cute! (or is it??? muahahahahaaha. sorry i had a moment...)

  • TheDecree
    March 21

    Edit | Reply
    This story was so sweet and very sad at the same time. It was well written and full of emotion. The charcters are so endearing, you just want them to be together, but it can never be that way because the man is married.

    This is such a sweet tale of forbidden love. (:

    Good luck in the contest(:


  • artaq gold member
    March 19
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome! You could feel the intesity and passion through your words.
    Great Job!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • DeathByChocolate
    March 12
    Edit | Reply
    really good!!!!!!!


  • Asonine
    March 11
    Edit | Reply
    bravo mate, bravo, verry well written


  • Living.Disaster
    March 11
    Edit | Reply

    Really well writen.

    Like a few others my favorite part of the story was the poem at the begining.Very beautiful and it flowed very well.
    The story is very good read and I'm glad you entered it.I'm glad I took the time to read it as carefully as I did and also good luck.

  • Living.Disaster
    March 11

    Edit | Reply

    Really well writen.

    Like a few others my favorite part of the story was the poem at the begining.Very beautiful and it flowed very well.
    The story is very good read and I'm glad you entered it.I'm glad I took the time to read it as carefully as I did and also good luck.


  • alb9137
    March 7

    Edit | Reply
    not very emotional. you could at least have put in some more description to the romance to get someone all giddy with glee.


    • tonialoise
      March 7
      Edit | Reply
      different people find emotion in different ways. Thanks for reading and hosting the contest.

  • Alice Scrambled
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    The story's great! And the ending's really sad, in a good way.

    I must say I didn't love the poem at the beginning, mainly because the meter was inconsistant. But overall, it's clear you're a really talented writer. Good job

    • tonialoise
      March 1
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah sometimes I have trouble with meter when it gets in the way of what I want to say in poems.

      Thank you though, I appreciate your comments.


  • Rorshach gold member
    February 27
    Edit | Reply

    Romantic or betrayal?

    Morality is very modern.

  • Camofreakalicous
    February 27
    Edit | Reply
    woah that is soo........beautifu


  • Chanel xxxx
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    i loved your poem! you rhymed it really well and it was fun to read. it made sense, too. Is this from real life??


  • BleedsInk
    February 26

    Edit | Reply

    not bad at all.

    i liked it, the poem in particular, not sappy or cliche, just honest.

    beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 1, ending: 3, dialog: 2, characters: 3.

  • NightVixen
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    This is just beautiful. It is perfect as it is, except one tiny little thing. In paragraph 9:

    She loved him with all her heart and he protested his love to her.

    Shouldn't protested be professed? Other than that awesome emotion evoking piece. You have quite a talent for stringing words together.

    • tonialoise
      February 26
      Edit | Reply
      Yes and no. In the old day's "protest" also meant to proclaim or make known. The perhaps best known use of it in this manner is in Hamlet "The lady protests too much, methinks."

      p.s. I'm not trying to sound pretentious, I would have used professed had I it even crossed my mind. I've just been in the habit of using protest this way over the years, mostly because I love that Hamlet quote and say it often. Maybe too much so.

      Oh and Thank you for the comment and clappies

      • NightVixen
        February 26
        Edit | Reply
        You don't sound pretentious. I never thought of that. My bad!

        • tonialoise
          February 26
          Edit | Reply
          Yeah, like I said, it's not in use much anymore, so no bad on your part. You made a good observation. So smile and again; thanks for reading and commenting.


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    adored the poem in the beginning with the story following behind. beautiful written yet sad yet sweet all at the same time. Loved the read. normally, I'd offer constructive criticism but I didn't find any mistakes Great work here.

  • catacombkittenz
    February 26

    Edit | Reply

    Nice.

    Aw. It's sweet. I wouldn't say that there's a twist at the end, per se, but it's close enough to a twist to break things up. It's not exactly a happy ending.

    One tiny thing grammatically: in paragraph 8 "their life" should probably be "their lives".


    • tonialoise
      February 26
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah not exactly happy, but I hope not too sad either.

      Thanks for catching that error, I never would have!


  • rinzu
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    OHHHH SAD...REALLY...I THINK THEY WILL NEVER BE TOGETHER...NY THE ANY SEQUEL WANA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THIS...???


  • caitecola
    February 25

    Edit | Reply

    A tender kiss

    I like the poem, it's a nice touch to the story that follows. I've never tried that before, and the way you were able to put so much emotion into that one meeting, all of that feeling.... yes, that's truly what it feels like. To love someone, but they will never be yours. You have them, for a second, and then they're gone and you can no longer have them like that again. Great job. I loved it. Thanks for entering.


  • Hinata-is-me silver member
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    forbidden love. sigh. you should seriously start thinking of expanding this. I really want to know what would happen between them. i could feel the connection between them, a love beyond the normal bounderies of the heart. just a kiss and then bam! true love! excellent job!

    beginning: 5, ending: 5.


    • tonialoise
      February 25
      Edit | Reply
      I just may seriously think about it.

      thanks for reading and commenting.


  • beutifullcloud
    February 25
    Edit | Reply
    awwwwwwwwwwwwwww, thats soooooo cute ♥ I love it *sniff*


  • berryhot2
    February 25
    Edit | Reply

    :)

    loved it!


  • CrystalTigress
    February 25

    Edit | Reply

    awww

    that's so sweet. It makes you wonder what would happen later on. it keeps you stuck into the story and it is absolutely amazing. The thought of true love being there but they can't quite have it. The other thought that the guy stays true to his wife. it's so beautiful. The beginning with peotry was eye attracting and everything in general was just thrilling. Though i would like to know what continues to happen stopping it here can make so many ideas flow through a persons mind on possibilities. Please keel writing!

    • tonialoise
      February 25
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, I'm very happy you enjoyed it. I know my conclusion is kind of quick but I more or less say they remain friends but don't attempt it again. However, I do love slightly open endings so there is always the hint of something still there between them.


  • imagist
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    I believe in the love at first sight, true love, and forever - but I must say it is never a good idea to have an affair or cheat. I believe if you are so unhappy you are considering those options - you need to leave. Because it's like poison/ addiction to a relationship. It kills the relationship, and the trust; and only makes the person want to do it again because they're so unhappy. Just my 2 cents.

    Any way; the poem was pretty, I liked it. Greatly written and so was the story under it. I did not care for the topic, but you did a fine job writing it.

    • tonialoise
      February 25
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. Yes, I agree having an affair is not a good thing. But love comes in all shapes and sizes and sometimes we can't help it. And as much as I agree that if a person finds themselves cheating they should leave, there are circumstances when they can't. He is in one of those, as it would be against his whole religion and philosophy to leave his wife, no matter how happy or unhappy he is. It's a truth in life, I'm afraid.


  • StreetRider
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    lol Awesome poem. Its filled passion,love, description. Why did the guy marry his wife if she is not the one? Anywayz great poem!

    • tonialoise
      February 25
      Edit | Reply
      Good question, actually there's several reasons why someone, not necessarily he would marry someone that's not their true love. First they've lived for many years without finding their true love and don't believe they will find them, so the first person they do love they marry. Second, they don't believe in true love so they take what they believe is their best match. Third, many various small reasons including things like money, differences in faith, arranged marriage, pity, the list goes on. I did purposely leave the reason off because sometimes even we don't know why we choose to marry one person over another.


  • Kirin
    February 24

    Edit | Reply

    And you were doing laundry on valentine's day?!!

    Wow! Wonderful toni! Such a poetic story from the author of the infamous anti-love.. I was absolutely touched. Nice descriptions. Thank you for the indian touch I came across a few tense mistakes but the beauty of it made me forget where they are. Keep writing and it seems my curse beginning to take effect


    • tonialoise
      February 24

      Edit | Reply
      thanks, I think all my romantic Indian friends are having too much influence on me.


  • lavanya
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    bribing me???offering free kisses???? ey i am honest judge and i don't except bribe

    beautfiul poem with strongly discribed story,i must say you really know well my taste and my nature. your story and poem offered me all those ingredient which i was looking for, simply emotional and beautiful. neat work ,almost perfect,keep it up sweetie .
    well done dear and good luck.

  • SilentMoonDance
    February 24

    Edit | Reply

    Well...

    This is really great and poetic. Simple and sweet, I should say. I like the idea of a poem being based off a first kiss. This wasn't trying too hard...wasn't overdone. Just right.
    Great write! (I'd give applause, but I'm saving up for a contest. SORRY)


    • tonialoise
      February 24
      Edit | Reply
      no problem, just having people read my stuff is good enough for me.

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