The Devils Hand

"God, I'm not sure what to do anymore. I don't know what's right or what's wrong. I don't know why you gave this curse to me"1

"You really think he's listening" The man interuppted. His black trench coat dragged on the ground as he approached me, "Heavens not all it's cracked up to be, kid, there's a reason I left. You know, you demonize Hitler, Suddam, Czar and then turn around and praise the biggest dictator of them all. The one who says to do what he wants you to or you shall burn for all eternity. Does that sound like someone whose praises should be sang?" 2

"I'm not listening to this. I know your tricks, I know how you work"3

"Oh, so you do? How do you know this? Did you read it in a book? Did Gods cross-dressing boy molesters tell you this? Do you REALLY want to follow a being whose biggest praisers are the biggest sinners?4

"No, that's why i'm not following you" He let out a laugh, my eyes shut tight and my body followed. I reopened to find him closer then before.5

"That was a low blow. This being whom you praise has caused more problems than any one being should. He has caused more grief, sorrow, frustration and anger than you can even fathom. And you sing of this? You think you're any different than the german solders who incinerated the Jews?6

"Yes, I do. I don't follow somone who believes in killing." I bit my lip.7

"Doesn't believe in killing? Does the term 'Jihad' mean nothing to you? People killing in Gods name? Killing people because they have different beliefs than them? Or what about the serial killers? When they're caught, what do they say? 'God told me to do it'"8

"Yea, but that's different"9

"What about the Samael, the Angel of Death? Or what about Job? Job worshipped God and what did he do? He killed his wife, his kids, took away his whole life JUST to prove how devoted his followers were"10

"Didn't he do that to prove you wrong?"11

"Granted, but do you REALLY want to follow someone who would cause that much grief just to prove a point?" He started to back away, towards the door, "If he did it once, what's to stop him from doing it again? think about it" And then. He was gone. I was left with no more than his remarks. I know they said the Devil was manipulative, but I never could've pictured how he made God sound so bad...and make it believable...what if all this time I HAVE been following the wrong path. What if my mind has been manipulated in a way that pictures Hell as something to avoid where as Heaven is the place that deprives you of all the pleasures. Such a desasterous life. It wasn't always like this, though. There was a time, not long ago, where my life was as close to perfect as it could possibly get. I had a family that was proud of me, friends who were loyal to me and a girlfriend who loved me...12

I remember the day prior to this curse, the clock interupted the most beautiful of dreams. My iced feet pentrated the slippers and began to thaw. I slowly trudged slowly down the stairs, still weary and my eyes twitching in an attempt to stay open. I pushed the bathroom door open and began my morning ritual. Evacuation, shower and oral hygenics.13

I skipped breakfast that day, I didn't feel as though I needed it. I walked to school; the advantage of living just a few blocks away. Report card time, and it's the same story. History: A, Psychology: A, Trig: B (okay, not my strongest point). Physical Education: C (Only because I refuse to get naked with a bunch of guys. Sorry, but this is a school, not a Gay Porn shoot). I met up with Sarah who seemed a little down.14

"Something on your mind?" I questioned, her lip was quivering and she was having difficulty swallowing the lumps in her throat.15

"Yea," she choked out, "I got a C in Algebra" I let out a laugh, couldn't help it. She didn't take to kindly to it, "It's not funny"16

"I know, I know, it's just...the look in your eyes made it seem like someone or something had died"17

"You mean BESIDES my future?"18

"It's a C, babe, it's not the end of the world" I put my arm around her and walked her out. we said our goodbyes and I gave her a kiss. The night soon followed and my dreams were clouded with images and sounds unlike any other dream I have had. Fire. Scream. I awoke in a cold sweat and rushed to the bathroom.19

Water. Water will fix everything. Splash some on my face, run it through my hair and down my throat. I was parched. There was something about that night that I didn't realize at the time. I was barefoot and my feet were still warm. I went back to my room and layed down...but I was not alone.20