A MAN DIVIDED (Pt. 1)

Part One:1

Separation Anxiety2

It was one of those mornings, where I didn’t want to wake up next to her. Where I wished I’d gone off in the middle of the night and slept with my girlfriend. But, God, he has a way of making your worst nightmares come true, sometimes. She was right there, blonde hair around her like a halo. False presence for the devil, a disguise for a secret demon. It was one of those things I couldn’t escape, one of those things that would haunt me, one of those things that made my heart beat a little slower. Her face, so peace, so beautiful in it’s rest, yet all I could remember is her mouth, agape, spitting a taunt. And that scared me beyond words, that I could no longer look to her sweet nature for comfort; that her softness no longer brought me that irresistible peace. 3

“Tyler.” She turned on her side, the blanket conforming to the curves of her, turning her sensual, beneath a cover. “About last night...” Here it comes, here comes the ‘we’re not meant for each other, let’s face it.’, the ‘every day with you is a nightmare!’. It was true and as bright and frightening as it was; I was ready for it, for her to call me a failure and strip me of my manhood. For her to slap me down a notch. “I’m sorry…” It was soft, enduring, pained and broken. The kind of thing someone says when life has torn them down to the very last piece of themselves and they’re left exposed, naked and glossy before the Creator. When they have nothing left to live for. That pure entity of candor and unrealized dreams, the toxin of it made my mind withdraw itself from the pain of knowing I had broken her. That hadn’t it been for me, she might still be someone, not this withering rose of a girl. 4

Her hand glides across my chest, leaving regret and remorse with every touch. “I know we fight sometimes and I’m sorry.” Then there was the sudden weight of her head on my chest and my heart jumping into my throat. The weight was immense, like a bulldozer on your chest and all you can do is pray for suffocation. She made every atom reel and my stomach curl with the feel of her, sick with the life I had awakened too. 5

What could I say to that? Beside I was sorry that I’d ever met her? Beside that the sound of her voice, it made me sick. That I didn’t love her the way I use to, that if I was less a man, more a dog, murder would be on my list. I could tell her I wasn’t suited for this marriage game, maybe that I had lovers and they were beautiful women and an office, that I preferred the feel of a cold desk to the warmth of her caress. It was wrong and I knew it, but that didn’t make me love my work any less, that didn’t make the touch of another woman worthless. It made it exciting and hot, thrilling and breathless. But most of all, what made me love it, is that it excluded her. Sex with another woman was wonderful because it wasn’t sex with her. Work was an escape because it was away from her, my desk was my best friend. And that was the sad truth of it, that I loved things because they weren’t her or weren’t a part of her. I hated myself for it, but not enough to stop loving Alex, not enough to cut my working freedom short so I could come home early. 6

And why would I want to? So she could call me a worthless bum of a husband, stand there, with her back to me. Not even seeing it worthy of looking me in the face. “I’m sorry too. Let’s not fight like that again.” I played sweet as cotton candy, the smile of a prince. I stroked her cheek and let the good feelings wash in between us. The cool wave of peace and serenity that made me fall in love with her all over again. A full smile crossed her face and made her an angel, minus the wings and crappy halo.7

“Now, let me make you breakfast.”8

“Alright, honey. Thank you.” 9

I watched her float away, on cloud 9, thinking everything, absolutely everything was perfect. Things were set back to black and white, the whole perfect-ville family. I spent the morning playing with my daughter and kissing my wife. Playing the good husband when I was really aching for my visit with Alex, when I was really wishing for her kiss. “Oh shoot! Baby, I left a really important document down at the office!” That was it, and I was off. It wasn’t a document and it wasn’t at the office. It was on 4th street, a small townhouse, with a red BMW outside and a Chihuahua that barked like the world was coming to an end. Upon my entrance, I was welcomed with a warm smile and a kiss. It meant the world to me, to have her here, loving me. Asking me what I wanted and never ever, protesting it. 10

When a wife asks her husband why he cheats, he usually doesn’t know what to say, does he? He’s kind of quiet and withdraw and then she asks, “What were you thinking?” and he doesn’t have an answer to that either. Usually the night ends in tears and promises for a better tomorrow. He says he won’t do it again, but he doesn’t erase her number, he doesn’t forget the way she fixed his tie. He says she didn’t mean a thing and his heart stings because he knows that’s a lie, he knows that if given the choice, he’d gladly go with her, weren’t for his daughter that just happens to look more like her mother every second of the day. But, they usually don’t come with a midnight confession from her, saying how she cheated too. She explains how she fell for him, because was everything you weren’t. How he was sweet and brought her flowers everything, when she told you that they were from her mother. And it makes you sick. 11

Sometimes, we do thing we don’t mean and more often than not, we do things we mean but say we don’t. Like when we take that extra cookie that we said we wouldn’t and say we forgot we’d made a promise not to. Like when we throw a 200 dollar phone at the wall, trying to smash away all our desperation with it only for us to say it fell out of the window and got smashed that way so the company will cover the claim12

The world makes you sick, and that’s all I could think as Alex took my belt off, as she undressed me and exposed my inner core, my sanctum, violated my peace and made me new and fresh. A babe in her hands. The world makes you sick. 13

Author notes

Story of a man named Tyler Miller that is growing bored with his family life and his views on life.

Any questions or comments, please comment or message me. Thank you.




"twilight is amazing except ppl who hate it"

If you click on this through the "Featured Stories" link. Please, please...leave a comment. C'mon, I worked hard for those points and I fully expect somethin. Comment if you liked, Comment if you hated. Tell me why it was a steaming while of sh*t.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • twilight2411
    October 14
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    Thank you for entering! And the story is realistic and intense. I like it!


  • Lost Soul 12 silver member
    October 9

    Edit | Reply
    Let me start with, thank you for entering my contest! The first paragraph really, really drew me in, which you MUST do if you want to win my contest!

    Wow! Paragraph 6 is very, very intense, and wonderfully written!

    Oh woah do I get the title now! Sometimes, stories just click with me, this is one of them! Wonderful, intoxicating story!

    Oh, he has a daughter? Oh no! That gives me mixed feeling on the guy! Eeek! Whoa, does that mean she confessed to cheating too? Hmm... I don't like the woman at all!

    Whoa, that was a wonderful read! Bravo! I ed Para. 12 & 13, but frankly, the slight erotica made me feel a little squeemish... Good though.

  • miz-ktakase
    October 7
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome

    I like it!

    beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • Rorshach gold member
    October 7

    Edit | Reply
    No doubt a very professional piece of writing.
    It's not reality, but it's a fictional reality that you read in books by successful authors.
    You can make money with this kind of stuff. Honestly, when I read this it was like reading a novel that my Mum would recommend.
    Is it good?
    Yeah, and nah.
    It does a job, and I wouldn't be surprised to read this in a 'proper' book one day.
    It breaks no moulds, but it fits so snugly that in business terms it will always make money.
    By the way, the other comments on your story were very odd.
    I normally agree with a few, but not here.


  • seamus gold member
    October 6

    Edit | Reply

    Stunning

    A complex series of conflicting emotions well written. Scarily written. I realize adultery is not the cause of all the world's problems, but this made me feel like it was. Powerful affecting.

    beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.


  • tsh369 gold member
    September 1

    Edit | Reply
    Everywhere I look this is happening to couples and some of them shock me to my core. I liked how you wrote this.
    Thank you for entering my contest and Good Luck!!!

    Th.


  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    August 4
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this!Good luck.


  • Violette silver member
    May 17

    Edit | Reply

    Not bad

    Great description, really superb! You have a real talent. I hope to god you continue this story, it's awesome! Tylr is a great character, very realistic. Nice work.


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    Sorry I'm goin to have to DQ your story. The rules ask for two honorable mentions and you only have one.

    Good luck on the other contests.
    Brooke

  • To Heart
    March 26

    Edit | Reply

    Good

    I really felt Tylers emotions regarding his wife. The repeating of the words 'makes you sick' adds to the mood, I think.


  • Darkhearted
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    It was perfect. The grammer and such wasn't too good but the story was amazing. the emotional detail brought out the charactor very well.

    thanks for entering,
    cheyenne


  • Savage
    March 7

    Edit | Reply
    This is a really cool piece (Yeah, I know that's the last think I'm expected to say) It shows insight, and how even though you ask others to explain to you, talk to you, most of the time your relationship is better if you just stay quiet.

  • SilentMoonDance
    February 27

    Edit | Reply

    Nice...

    Why not get a divorce? Okay, I know there's a child involved, but it'd probably damage her more if she sees that her parents are not happy with one another. It would be best to separate. The main character is doing his family a diservice by being elusive...all his misdeeds will come to light eventually. I understand he likes the thrill of being with another woman besides his wife, which he's obviously bored with and sick of now, but that doesn't give him the right to continue. This was a great story, very compelling, and showed the contradictions of the human heart. I don't look at him as a bad guy, just a person who's undecided.

    Interesting concept and good luck in my contest!


  • Tiger-Lily
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    I can't quite relate to this, considering I'm kinda young to understand everything about marriage. XD But the emotions here were great. That, I could tell. ^_^ Nonetheless, I do think guys can be extremely horny at times. Is it really that hard to play faithful and mean it? No wonder divorce rates skyrocket. In the good old days, divorce was the last resort. Nowadays, marriage is worth bull.

    - HT


  • Amicus2K9
    February 22
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    Written from an opposing gender pov, impressive and tackling some big, big subjects, marriage, fidelity, guilt, morality and the big question....Why? Why do we do such things?

    However...being somewhat of a prude, I didn't like any of your characters very much...they all have guilt, even though we know very little about them.

    Still, a good piece of work, best of luck!

    Amicus...



  • Lady Kay
    February 22

    Edit | Reply

    Love it

    I absolutely loved it. I think it was extraordinary.
    Messege me if you want! :-)
    Spread Comments, Spread Stories, Spread Love
    :-)

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

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