The "Vampire" and the "Witch"

I am going to be trialed for being a vampire. Even though I'm not one. All I did was, well, nothing much. All I did was drink the blood of a dead man on a dare.
Oh, I think, Maybe that's why. I'm so ignorant. Why didst I do the dare?
I'm being dragged from home as I speak.1

I can hear my father call, "Please! Not Alec! He's a human! A human! How could he be anything else? Have you no intelligence?"2

"You are the most stupid little peasant I have ever laid eyes on," chuckles a nobleman, "He's just as human as the atrocious girl I caught yesterday. A witch! They are going to be burned, the lot of them! And it would do my eyes good to see their foul little bodies on flame, burning as fast as- "
"Nobleman, I get it!" says my father," Please, though, you are doing a wrong! How is it possible that my son's a vampire when I, his father, a lowly merchant, is a human?"
"Well, you see, I figure a vampire bit your son here, thus turning him into a vampire."
"Have you seen him attack anyone?"
"Well," says the nobleman,"not with me own eye, I haven't, but my companion here claims he was sucking the blood outta a dead man yesterday."
"Yessir, I did."  says a man who seems to be sweating like mad," he was gulping an' gulping, then he turns around, he does, and I stare at him, he stares back. Then, I ran away in fear of being drunk up like the dead man was. I did."
"Yes," muses the nobleman," and I don't suspect this man is lying. He is my spy on the peasants, see, to figure out who did right and wrongdoings."3

"How can you believe 'im?" I ask quietly, barely speaking in case he gets angry," I am not a vampire! I have no red eyes, nor fangs growing."
"I suspect a new breed of you filthy kind." growls the nobleman,"Made to trick us humans. But you're not getting away with it! You are going to be burned at the stake just like all of your bloody friends! "
And with that, he knocks my head with his club, rendering me unconscious.
Right before I do, I think, So this is how it's going to end, is it? Well, I lived my life well, I did. That's all I can say. 4

______________________________________________________________5

When I awaken, I am in a dungeon type place.There is straw on the floor, an itchy annoyance to my skin. Underneath it is hard rock. It is cold. And dark as night. I am somewhat scared. 6

There is a girl staring at me. Around my age, by the looks of it. Long brown hair, slender build, green eyes. She is dressed in rags like me, like most peasants. 7

 We are both chained to the floor, as if beasts and not just two people. Although, they probably thought us beasts. 
"What art thou name?" I ask politely.8

"Elizabeth, but you can call my Beth. And yours, gent?"9

"Alec. How long havest I been out?"10

She smiles sadly at me. I wonder how much I've missed.11

"Oh, a day or so. We havest a week to live. We are to be burned at the stake. I overheard them talking."12

A week. I feel like crying. A day before I was arrested, I was yelling at my mother, telling her that she was horrible. Oh, if I could've said goodbye!13

"A week. Well, we better make the best of it.Any food or drink?"14

"yes. We have gruel and water."15

Beth hands me some and I gobble it down gratefully.16

She smiles.17

"You have a big appetite for a 'vampire'."18

"Oh, don't start with that, you witch!"19

And soon, we are talking and laughing as if we had been friends since the beginning of time.20

________________________________________________________________21

The day before execution. Great.22

"One day left to live." I murmur.23

"Are you scared?" Beth asks.24

"I just want more time with you. I...."25

I stop hesitantly,. What if she didn't love me back. Then I realize something. It did not matter. I am going to die either way.26

"Well," I say slowly, " I love you."27

Beth looks as if she is going to cry. Does she not love me back? But just then, she embraces me.28

"I love you, too, Alec. I always will."29

Just after murmuring that, she kisses me.30

Her lips feel like soft roses.Then she pulls apart.31

"Ummmm....."32

We are both embarrassed.33

I lie down on my straw(we had divided it up). Then I drift into unconsciousness.34

____________________________________________________________35

We were at the execution. Beth is to be executed first. That meant I am to watch. I really want to start sobbing. But I have to be brave. For my mom watching in the crowd. For Beth. For me. A man is talking, most likely a priest of some sort, but I pay no heed to him. My eyes are only focused on Beth. Her eyes are in complete terror. She is also staring at me. I give her a weak smile. She tries to return it, but it ends in a grimace. She is being lead to the wood where the fire would soon be. I am now really sobbing. The guards tie her up. It is so hard to watch, nothing I could do. They are lighting the fire. I look away. Then she starts screaming. Screaming of pure pain. It grows quieter over time, as if her life is slowly fading away. It probably is. Then it stopped. My turn. I don't care. I knew if I die, I would just follow Beth. All I want to be is with Beth. They are now leading me to the fire. As they tie me up, I see my mom. She is fighting tears. i feel sorry for her. My life is about to end, but hers will have grief for me. They light the fire. Pain rushes through my body. I try not to scream- I would not give them that satisfaction- but a small moan escapes through my lips. then, i see Beth. She seems happy, and all the pain fades a bit.36

You're almost there,Alec," she whispers ,"It's beautiful. Mountains, a river, and fruit you can pick bu the bushel! I just came back to wait for you. It may have been seconds, but it feels like hours since I've seen you. Time passes more slowly there. You'll love it. And we can be there forever."37

"Where?" I ask faintly. I could tell I was almost dead.38

"The afterlife." Beth says simply.39

Then, all the pain is gone. My mother is crying, but I am free. From my body, from the pain, and from life. Beth is there. I grab her hand.40

"Where to, my love?" I say 41

"Follow me."42

And we walk away from this world, forever to be together.43

Author notes

Yes, it's sad. But it's a romance. Not all stories can be that Twilight ending.
This is a sad love story.
The category is OTHER.
This is by ANONOMIZED.
Fpr the Pot O' Gold Contest, the person technically IS unlucky.
This is still being edited, because I had not used the correct way people from this time spoke, nor added much detail, so I will say when this is done.
Haha I tried to make them speak like the Regalians from The Underland chronicles XD.

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Jennywinnie
    March 16

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    This is a great exciting beginning. I would suggest to make it even more exciting putting in a more active voice.

    For instance instead of , "I am going to be trialed for ..." or "I'm being draggedd..."

    They pull me roughly into the cart. They clamp my hands in iron chains, as the cart wheels to the court room.

    I guess just becareful when you start using alot of "am" words. Alot of times they can be cut off and you'll be surprised how much more exciting the story is.

    This is a great concept though, as a starting scene...lot's to work with.

    Also, you might explain something about yourself that makes them think you are a vampire, or maybe you were caught doing something suspicious.

    This is a good love story.

    Great job! Good luck in my contest


  • Luci Ferraris
    March 14

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    Such a romantic story. I have read it three times. And with editing the open lines... making more paragraphs in it, it can look better.
    But what do I know... it's just a hint.

    beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 4.

  • You've a nice story here; nothing that particularly caught my eye, but it was still a nice read. Presentation could use a bit of polishing up, particularly the dialogue (I felt that some of their language was out of keeping with the time), but this is not a bad start by any means =)

    Thank you for entering, and good luck with the contest.


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting twist. Was Alec accused of being a vampire or a witch? Was a little confused by that.
    Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
    Brooke
    greeter


  • IrishYndina Greeters member
    March 4

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    This is such an interesting and unique plot! I have to say, this has to be a pretty unusual way to fall in love - at least I hope it is! The ending was sad, but still happy in some ways. They did end up together, afterall, even if it was in the afterlife. The only thing I might suggest is a little more backstory. Why did they think Alec was a vampire, and why did they think Beth was a witch? I think it would help give your two characters a little more personality. Otherwise, I found this an enjoyable read - thanks for sharing! Welcome to Storywrite!

  • I don't get it. Why were they believed to be a vampire and a witch? There could be a lot more in there. It would've been a much better story if you were to elaborate on their charges, rather than leaving all the interesting things out.

    I liked it though, for the most part.

  • NightVixen
    March 1

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    This is a wonderful tale. I would have liked to see it a bit longer and more detailed, but you still managed a very touching and emotional piece.


  • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
    February 28

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    Hi I-Loathe welcome to StoryWrite and thanks for sharing this unusual Romeo and Juliet tale with us .

    You have a great plot, some visible characters and the activity going on was easy to See. The narrator hooked me right away and held my attention to end.
    You are blessed with a wonderful imagination and talent for storytelling. I certainly hope you put it too good use .

    There is a lot of potential in this piece that begs to grow into something longer, the short story format becomes to confining (JMHO) for something with so much going on.

    You do need a bit of editing to make it saleable (don’t we all ).

    Good luck in all those contests and especially ours.

    Geri (Greeter)


  • Atticus Unanimous
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    I think you need to do some editing, add some more emotions, fix a few errors, and probably add some length to do this. It's pretty good otherwise.


  • colormeimpressed
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    i really love it!! There are some mistakes in it, but its a really awesome story! I'll probably come back and add you to the finalists later! Toodles.


  • SunshineDancer423
    February 22
    Edit | Reply
    Um...well, I don't know..it was just kind of..flat. Dull, why was he thought to be a vampire exactly..why was she thought to be a witch. Why why why? I liked it, sort of. I mean, it was so short, just bleh. I don't mean to be rude but I just didn't enjoy it very much. Sorry!

    Good Luck

1 - 11 of 11