Silent..alone

One day I came to school, laughing.
But I realized I was laughing alone,
and no one talked to me.1

The was the first day of months of exile
forced upon me by peers that hated me for what I could be.
That day I learned that people do anything for power, and
silence becomes a weapon when the other person doesn't know why.2

They lose because there are no rules to play by
and it's not official so they can't confront the abusers.
My bullying was non physical , shunning and silence.
Being frozen out means I no longer exist to anyone but myself.3

It hurts because I want the recognition of the one who hurts me.
I remember when we were best friends, but she forgot me.
I wonder what I did, because she won't or can't tell me.
It must be my fault because I can't bring myself to blame her?4

\5

Who could sustain knocking me out of their life for days on end?
Not looking at me or talking to me ever? If I didn't provoke it.
How do I dry my tears if the ones who are my friends can't
make me feel accepted? 6

I would be her friend again if she dumped the others for me.
I could forget this, till it happens again.
I could make myself believe her,
Because its what I want to be true7

I can't hurt myself anymore than she hurts me now,
but only she can heal that pain.
And what's sad driven insane, I would let her.
The silence itches at my consciousness and I can't shake it.8

A feeling something is wrong, but what?
The memories of friendship and unity haunt me as I hide my emotions.
Being frozen out is as good as saying we were never friends,
and if that's true, where does that leave me now?9

Alone.