The moonlight
our spotlight,
the ground is
our stage.
The stars
our audience,
the night is
our music.1
As the light fades,
we pick up the pace.
We dance together
in the moon's embrace.2
The moonlight
our spotlight,
the ground is
our stage.
The stars
our audience,
the night is
our music.
You are
my partner,
and this is
our dance.
In a list
A contest entry
- LOTS AND LOTS OF OPTIONS CONTEST by FearedCries.
200 points, ended March 17, 27 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Lots of Love xx by Neolittlefish.
325 points, ended May 21, 53 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
It's so catchy, I feel like memorizing it, and just saying it to myself.
Awesome beat to the poem, I love how you repeated the beggining afterward. Awesome, awesome job -
That was good, I loved the pace you kept up in the poem, and I'm a big fan of metaphors so well done!. Could you please put your favourite film in your Authors Note's? (it was my rule number six to check everyone read the rules) Thanks for entering
-
Noice. Good read. I like the metaphors you chose for the repeating verse, they're somewhat generic, but that doesn't take away from the creativity of the observation. Good work with this one, makes me want to take someone dancing. ^^
-
Claps.
This is really nice!
I love the imagery you put into this. I can see it, feel it.
Keep it up.
- Adelaine
-
This is beautful.
-
I like this a lot but I need you to put what option you chose in the Author Notes before the contest ends or at least message it to me or you will be DQed. Anyway I think this is really good and thanks for entering my contest.
-
I'm speachless. =D XD
-
Catchy stuff. The repeat takes out some of the strength it could have had, but the line-by-line comparison is cool. The rhyming is clever as well.
Good stuff.
-
Nice...
I love the imagery you used in this poem, it was beautifuly done. Being romantic, the concept was not at all cheesy. My favorite part--the strongest part of this piece--is:
The moonlight
our spotlight,
the ground is
our stage.
The stars
our audience,
the night is
our music.
That is so captivating in itself...nice flow. Keep up the excellent writing!(:
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
