In a time and place rather distant from the here and now, there once was a village, small and squat. Out the village ran a road, likewise small but sadly thin, as if the lack of feet to travel it had caused the little path to fade wistfully away. Down, down, down the slopes of the misty hills the path wound, looping through trees and underbrush until it came at last to the edge of a marsh. Where the marsh itself ended, no one knew. Some said it reached its watery fingers all the way out to the western mountains, while others thought it could be no more than a league in breadth. But no matter their opinion, nearly all the villagers kept well clear of the dark waters at the end of the winding road. For the marsh, like any good marsh, had a king, and the king, like most kings, had a reputation. The only people who walked freely in his domain (or scuttled or swam or drifted) were the marsh-folk themselves; his kindred, who were also, for the most part, his subjects.
Near the edge of the waters, not many splashes and squelches away from the road's end, three marsh-folk were playing cards. It was evening, and the stars and will-o-wisps were out, throwing just enough light onto the reeds and rushes for the players to see by.
"One Ten," said Gnorl, who was a shrunken, knobby fellow, all wizened limbs and thinning hair. He placed a carved scrap of bark face-down upon the tree stump around which they all sat. In the light of the will-o-wisps, his eyes appeared larger than ever as he darted a glance at each of the other players, then licked his lips once and fell silent.
Midge let out a high, tinny laugh. "I think not," he said, a wry smirk buzzing audibly in his voice. Gnorl clicked nervously and shifted his too-many-arms, stirring the water and bracken around him. "One Ten," he repeated, but the words shuddered like branches in a storm.
Narrowing his green eyes, Midge frowned. "No."
"One Ten?" It was almost a plea.
Midge fingered the sheaves of bark in his twitching hands, and a chuckle escaped him. "No." He cleared his throat, shuffling the cards once more. "You played the Ten of Stones first round, as I recall, and Bogwump played Ghouls and Hollows two rounds ago."
"Yes!" said Gnorl. He made a little hopping dance around the stump. "Yes, yes, it is true, it is! But that leaves Skulls, it does, that leaves Skulls!"
Midge looked at him evenly, with something approaching pity in his gaze. "My dear Gnorl, you cannot possibly have the Ten of Skulls."
"But I can! I can!"
"No," said Midge, with a thin smile that was entirely unpleasant, "for I have the Ten of Skulls." A silence fell amongst the reeds. The wisps flickered and bobbed in the night, and for several heartbeats, and then several more, all that could be heard was the wind muttering nonsense to the trees. Finally, Midge spoke. "Do I smell a cheat, Gnorl?" he hissed, and the reeds shivered with the sound. Gnorl squeaked and clattered his limbs.
"Not a cheat! Not a cheat!" he stammered fiercely.
"Then a bluff?" said Midge, leaning forward, his long nose mere inches from Gnorl's face. His breath was warm and rank. The breath of marsh-folk smells of old things and wet things, and sometimes dead things, and even marsh-folk themselves do not like the smell. When Gnorl whimpered, he drew back, grinning with his four rows of teeth. "Your cards then, my dear fellow - the lot of them."
As Gnorl scooped them up with shaking fingers, mumbling curses, Midge turned to their other companion, who was staring lazily out across the waters and rushes of the marsh. "Bog, didn't we agree on a penalty after this many rounds? Was it the Stone forfeit or the Skull?"
Bogwump grunted, Midge drummed his long fingers, and Gnorl looked utterly petrified.
"M-M-Midge, not a forfeit, we never said-"
"Ohhhh, but we did," said Midge nastily. "Didn't we, Bog?"
Bog grunted again. "Hrm?"
"Honestly, you weren't even listening. I asked which forfeit we agreed on - Stones or Skulls?"
"Shut up," said Bog. "Both of you, stow it. There's sommat over in the trees. Been sitting there for at least a round or two, I think - not that it's been easy to listen for with your jabbering." Shifting his bulky mass, he glared down at both of them. Gnorl flinched, but Midge looked gleeful. He rubbed his hands together.
"Well, Boggy, it's your turn - I'll go see about our visitor, shall I?"
Bog gave a huge shrug that sent mud dripping off his shoulders and into the black water at his waist. "Three Sprites," he sighed, turning back to the stump and tossing the cards down. Gnorl chattered angrily and leafed through the pile of cards in front of him. "Don't bother," said Bog. "You think I'm an idiot? Who'd bluff with you holding half the damn deck?" Gnorl was still sputtering protests as Midge, who had taken silently to the air, made it to a nearby cluster of trees. There was a faint splash, then a scream, and then Midge came into view once more, buzzing just above the water's surface as he nudged a very muddy specimen of homo sapiens towards the tree stump and the bluish light of the will-o-wisps.
"A human!" squeaked Gnorl.
"A muddy human," said Bog, unimpressed.
"I prefer to call it dinner," said Midge cheerfully as he sat down once more on the fallen tree that served as his seat. The man (for beneath the mud and tattered clothes he was a male of his species), prodded by Midge, took a seat beside him. This was prudent for two reasons, the first being that it is wise to listen to the marsh-folk when you trespass on their land, and the second being that he was close to fainting from terror.
"Midge, shut up," said Bog absentmindedly. "You'll kill him. Or the fright will."
"But that's the point!" said Midge with a grin, displaying his many glistening teeth. The man shuddered. Bogwump glared at Midge.
"Knock it off."
"Oh, all right. Spoil the fun, then." Midge heaved a sigh and tossed four cards onto the stump. They skittered and danced across the wooden surface, almost as if they had a life of their own. "Four Hags. And don't bother checking, Gnorl," he added wearily, shaking his head. "Honestly..."
While the others squabbled, Bogwump glanced over at the man and nudged him with one huge, solid foot. "Oi. Stop with the blubbering. We don't eat your kind." His tone was calming, even if the rumble of his voice and the sturdy, undeniable thereness of his massive frame were otherwise. But this was not Bogwump's fault. The man was young for a human, almost more of a boy. His eyes, squinting nervously through a shock of muddy hair at his surroundings, were the color of almonds. The hair itself could have been any color - it was impossible to tell from the filth that coated it. He stared at Bogwump, his teeth chattering as the smell of fear thickened in the air between them.
"We really don't," said Midge with a sigh, deciding at last to be helpful while Gnorl fretted over which cards to play. "Not that I'd be averse to trying, mind - you could do very well for a stew. But it's against the rules, and besides, I prefer slimier things." In half an eye blink's time, his hand shot into the water beneath the log and came up with a plump and dripping toad. It barely had the chance to let out a dismayed bellow before he dropped it, legs and all, into his mouth. "Mmph. They're delicious this time of year. Nice and moist."
"I won't eat you, either," whispered Gnorl from over the man's head. The human gave a violent start. Gnorl had clambered silently up and onto Bog's shoulders, and from there had latched onto a low tree branch. He hung upside down from it by two of his legs and peered into their guest's face. He looked more like a small, spindly tree than a hungry imp, as Midge did, and the man began to breathe more evenly.
"Y-You won't?" he stammered. "Promise?"
"We won't," sighed Midge.
"Won't!" said Gnorl, clapping six of his hands and nodding.
"I said we wouldn't," grumbled Bog.
The man glanced around uncertainly at the marsh-folk. Assured that they would not devour him, he found himself at a loss for words. "Well," he said, after a pause, "what are you going to do with me, then?"
Author notes
This is the first of what will hopefully be a two (possibly three) part story. For the record, the card game they are playing is mostly identical to the game B.S. or Cheat.
The marsh-folk's version of this game differs significantly in some respects, the most obvious being the suits and cards. For fun, here's how the suits translate: Diamonds -> Hollows; Clubs -> Stones; Hearts -> Skulls; Spades -> Ghouls. The numbers remain the same, and the royals go as follows: Jack -> Sprite; Queen -> Hag; King -> Crow; Ace -> Bane.
The other main difference is that their version sometimes involves forfeits; this may come up again later 
"A Bog, A Midge, A Gnorl
Went wandering in the dark
The night was warm, the water damp
The cards of bone and bark.
They played for secrets, played for keeps
Until the sun did rise
Then four went home to seek out sleep
With wearier, wiser eyes."
A contest entry
- An Author's Challenge by Celestial Rose.
190 points, ended June 9, 4 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Amaze me. by berryhot2.
145 points, ended June 16, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Oscars 2009 - Best Sci-Fi/Fantasy Story by Asfand.
700 points, ended July 22, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Unique Fantasy Contest by silkenwolf.
250 points, ended July 28, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - We're All Mad Here by Lady Pixie.
350 points, ended August 17, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - What is your first chapter? by LindaIsMe.
225 points, ended September 10, 41 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Critiques welcome! I'm always looking to improve.
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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I've read this before
Glad to see it entered into my contest 
Still as fascinating and enjoyable as it was the first time I read it. Great job and thanks for entering 
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Ah, sorry! I'd forgotten
Thanks for allowing me to enter it in spite of that =)
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LoL it's no problem if I've read something before. I generally don't place that kind of rule on my contests
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This is good!!
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You wrote really well, congrats!! The dialogue was great and the idea is really original. I really enjoyed reading this, well done
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This was an entertaining story, the dialogue and introduction of characters was good. I liked the idea of marsh-people, their game of cards (I was glad to find that my guess of it being a game of Cheat was correct!) and their promise not to eat the human. This was original and imaginative, well done. Thank you for entering my contest.
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There are some LONGGG comments
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good luck in the oscars!
NinjaClary, judge. -
Your descriptions at the beginning were very interesting. They were different, which made it fun to read. I don't like the use of the noun 'marsh-folk'. I think you could probably come up with a better name, seeing as the names of your characters are original and unique.
Good work :] -
This story/poem is hereby officially accepted as a nomination for the SW Oscars. Congratulations on your nomination! You will be notified [via IM] to submit this story in its specific category when the contest opens. Congratulations, once again! Keep up the excellent work!
Admin
SW Oscars -
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Wow, thank you! =) I don't suppose you could also let me know in the IM who nominated me? I'd like to thank them for their kindness =)
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Hmm. I like the idea, but you could describe the characters a little more, tell the reader a bit more about the setting, the forest itself, just add some more details. And the beginning seemed a little dull, no offense. I just felt you used the word 'path' too often. Try replacing it with something like trail or road-it helps keep your attention. Hope that helped
This was quite good, and very imaginative indeed. Thanks for entering.
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Ooooh very good, hope there'll be more.
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This is pretty interesting. The only thing that you could really improve on is the description. I want to know more aout what the marsh creatures look like and maybe a little less about the card game. I do like the way you describe the boy, though. Are you going to write more of this? I want to know what happens to him. And it would be nice to know a little more about the king and the lives of the marsh creatures, too. Gnorl is my favorite.
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Imaginative....
...and for the most part, very well structured. I loved the way you illustrated their basic temperaments. Your opening was good too, and avoided the cliche by being in the form of an extended description of the vagueness of the locus of your setting. almost poetic to begin with, you establish a fairly harsh reality, a very understated reflection of the worst and best of humanity by making your characters the embodiment of different types.
I'd like to read the rest of this. My only suggestion, and it's only that, would be to establish whether the apparent heirarchy of your characters chimes with the King's character. Of them all, I like Bog the best.
Since this isn't my usual genre for reading material, the fact that you held my interest and left me wondering what happens next is testament to your excellent style, so thank you for bringing attention to it; it was worth the effort!
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Wow! This was amazing! I thoroughly enjoyed this! The creatures were well described and I like how you made up a card game for them. I feel this was very well-written and I am looking forward to more. Please keep up the excellent work.
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EXCELLENT
I loved it! It was very interesting, excellent, I kept reading the whole time through! This was one of the BEST STORIES I've read on story write!beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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Wow, thank you! =) I'm glad it kept you entertained
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Woah..
Wowies that was a good story! *clap* I give you two thumbs up for dis story!
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Excellent
Oooooohh Midge is so mischievous! Again, great beginning (Yesss, no cliched "Once upon a time" start- perhaps, you don't like that too either? sorry.. my habit of possessing a wishful unfounded curiosity ) It's such a cute and well-developed story. When I reached the part when they were playing cards, I just had to stop reading and guess what the game was because it sounded so familiar-then I went, oh B.S.!-that should be the one because One Ten gave it away-and yay! The part when Midge ate the toad was disgusting...... I actually went as far as imagining him belching after that.. lol! And when I reached the end, I was like...Noooooooo! Why did you leave a cliffhanger this time?! Hahahaha.
P.s. Why "four" in the poem by the way? What is a Gnorl? I googled "six-legged Gnorl" but found nothing.. Or are you planning to describe it further in the next part? Then it's okay if that's the case. I don't play RPG games, you see, so I checked it out but the search results returned with many RPG sites mentioning "gnorl" only instead. I imagined it first looking like Gollum because the names sounded alike. Then, the image melted away when I came to the part where you described it as a six-legged creature. And now, I'm left with no image in my head. No.. I don't wish to forget gnorl..
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I'm glad you picked up on what game it was. The "four" is because of the human =) And Gnorl is just his name - Bog and Midge only happen to be named after real things (though Bog's full name, Bogwump, does not have any meaning). Gnorl's name was based off of "gnarled" and "whorl," since both are often used to describe parts of trees. I'm not quite sure why I decided to use articles before the names in the poem ("A Bog, A Midge..") other than that it seemed a bit fitting, and it helped the meter *chuckles* I do play some RPGs, but none of them are based off of anything from those. They just happened to wander into my head. =)
Gnorl is a small (slightly larger than child-sized) tree/stick fellow of sorts - he has plenty of arms, as you noticed, almost like tree branches, only they are actual limbs (have joints, etc). Also, his skin is quite "wizened" - somewhere between the wrinkly, droopy appearance of very old human skin and the coloring/line patterns of bark. Not all of this has been thoroughly described yet, so no worries =) Just trying to provide a bit more of a picture. He would be petrified of Gollum if the two ever met, somehow
Thank you for reading, and for the generous comment =) -
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So, it's really the human then.. But you didn't mention him in the poem-that's why. So that's Gnorl-gotcha. Thank you for the generous reply too
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Reads like a fairy tale
You really are great at creating new worlds. From the characters to the settings it is all done with wonderful imagination. I think that children in particular would adore your stories as they love hearing about horrible creatures in strange worlds. The slimmier and yuckier the better.
I'm not a big fantasy fan, but i know when it is done well. This is done very well indeed.
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WOWZEES!!
That was amazing. The description spilled out of my monitor and soaked my maps and papers with greenish-brown, stinking, slimy swampwater. I love your characters; you described them so well! Their physical forms, as well as their interaction with each other and with the human, were incredible. I was really worried Midge was a true bad guy, there, until he admitted he doesn't actually eat humans. That made him instantly much more interesting and deep. Layers! Cakes have layers!
And...that poem in the AN...did you write that first, and it inspired the whole story? That's just so cool. I'm really quite excited by this whole story so far! Please write it all out soon.
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Thank you for the lovely comment (and the extra "applause")! The characters were a lot of fun to write, particularly Midge - though perhaps I just enjoy picking on the human a bit too much. Cakes do indeed have layers - as do onions!
I actually wrote the poem after finishing this section - it sort of popped into my head as I was looking over the card suits/royals again. I'm not quite sure what inspired it, to be honest. For one reason or another, I happened to be thinking about marshes and card games at about the same time, and the two ended up mixing Hope to be posting the next part(s) soon =)
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this was fantastic...i love this particular genre when it's done good, and you did an excellent job...will be most disappointed if i don't get to see what happens to the human...hope you continue...
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*will be back*
I read your first paragraph - but something is distracting me so I opted to comment about what I've read (I will be back to finish the story and the comment, since your story deserves that
)
The way you write... I can imagine it in movies. With the voice over done by, let's say, Sean Connery. The way you chose your words (and I've only read the first paragraph of this, PLUS a few of your other works) make it come.. ALIVE. Storyteller, you're a very great storyteller, with a very natural "voice" strengthening your dynamic descriptions
And while I have yet to finish, I have to go for now This will be continued
EDIT: and I have reread Haha I love their card games.. I kind of think it's like Bluff.. (or Bullshit? ) but then I've got so many other games I don't know And haha silly me typed this even before reading the Author's notes I can imagine this whole "story/chapter" as a scene in some beautiful fantasy story... and the guy has to play for his life Well, not sure about that, but that's what entered my mind when I read the poem down there. Great work, my friend *claps* I will wait for the next installment.
And oh, my above comment there still holds true. STORYTELLER, you are
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Wow, thank you! That's rather high praise - I'm flattered that you enjoyed it so much He will have something to do with the card game later, though I'm not entirely decided as to what (still have yet to write the next part, which may also be the conclusion unless it ends up longer than expected). Thank you for reading, and for the generous comments - feedback is always appreciated!
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Liked it!!
positivelly fab!!! Ur imagination is incredible! How did u come up with that??? I truly think your description is great, and I truely think I spelled multiple words wrong right there.
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Brilliantly well written and intriguing. You were amazing with description also- and I believe you have quite the imagination This was very interesting. I look forward to reading more in this (and like gabriel- I'm not a generally into fantasy like this, but I really liked this piece!!)
I looked for spelling/grammar mistakes that I could offer insight into- but didn't find any. terrific writing.
Job well done
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As always, a terrific bit of writing. I'm not a huge reader of fantasy, but you made me forget about that, because the characters were still easy to understand. I can't wait to find out what happens next.
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I'm glad the fantasy aspect wasn't too much of a drawback =) Thank you for reading; I hope to post the next part relatively soon.
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