VILLAINS [Prologue]

YEAR: 20111

WWIII broke off. Mass numbers of the world’s population had been wiped out from the planet’s surface. Only but a few million humans are left in this broken planet. The most powerful nations invaded and destroyed the weaker and third world countries. Nuclear missiles were the favorite choice of weapon until they discovered something better: super powered humans.2

My name is James Darson. I am a U.S. soldier, a squad captain to be exact. My men and I are on a mission to back off the enemy from U.S. soil. I must find a way to stop this war before the powerful governments lead us to our destruction. The worst part of this war is that I caused it. Now I must stop it! Stop the VILLAINS…3

Feedback to inprove me writing would be nice.

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1 - 8 of 8

  • P H Savage
    April 12

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    This is a great attention grabber! However, there were a few sentences that seemed awkwardly worded. For example, sentences two and seven. Plus, I think a little more characterization would have added to the story!

    beginning: 3, language: 2, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 4.


  • Cupcake14
    February 28
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    Also another thing, wouldn't US be part of the powerful governments?


    • Silent Hunter
      February 28
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      Yes, there is another thing to this story as well. It is the many cause of the war but that will be explained as the story progresses.


  • Cupcake14
    February 28
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    Gret beginning as dubby said. Please expand more!

  • dubby-dog93
    February 27
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    Has a great feeling to the begging you set well with a bit of poetry stuf i like


  • Whispers silver member
    February 27

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    First of all, you said "Mass numbers of the world's population has been wiped out" when it should be "had." The second sentence you said "broken down planet" which sounds kind of awkward, I suggest "broken planet."

    "Nuclear missiles were the favorite weapon on choice until they discovered something better: super powered humans." Try to write it like this. You need to avoid run-on sentences and awkward phrasing. This seems like an interesting story nevertheless, looking forward to reading more from you.

    Ink

  • Heroesrox
    February 20
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    Awesome! I knew from the title what tis would be about! lol. Tanks for saring this with us!

1 - 8 of 8