beetroot 1st draft a humble sloppy work of small mind and less labor

on his first day at college uncle murray bounded from window to window watching the nublie young dorm girls just beneath a naked window,this being the sort of behavior frowned upon at eastern college he was promptly shown the door and told not to return,and that they had his picture up in the security booth where the guardsman slept for continuous minutes only choking his way to conciousness with the spit of his gaping maw...the filthy bastard!1

But uncle Murray being the sort that he was still turned out ok enough to get by with out too many people taking notice of him as he bounded from adventure to adventure...mayhaps getting too far ahead of myself in need of some grounding i should start elsewhere for to begin this tale of ...well,i guess it should start like this,2

when wealthy uncle Murray came to town he paid no mind to expense and thought it of good character to pay,as he would explain to me at various tables of our good fortune,to pay back in kind to those who have done such good service to us as we stuffed our faceswith much haste,the leaning mound of pancakes that now obscurred his face and hid his wretched hula lady tie that bothered me and prevented me form chewing my meal properly, "What's wrong with you?",he asked,"hung over?",i nodded in affirmative and sipped on my ilky melters seltser tabs,reaching for my wallet to pay our tab,Murray slapped at my hand,and replied,"Put that away,you know your money's no good with me!",as the waitress wobbled up to our table,she noticed the money laid out & said "Sir,your money is no good here.","why?",he broke into an instant silence that pushed out onto to everyone within an earshot soon filling the entire room up with tension."This money...It's Canadian!"3

As we were shown the door and subsequent parking lot,Murray never failed to depart with a finger of his choosing waiving as he pushed himself off the ground with the other.When we climbed into his vehicle he'd make sure to hit some nearby garbage cans as we left the scene and trailing the debris far and long down the street and corner.4

"What an ass!","You know i have a good enough mind to get him kicked out of this zagats book."5

murray wasn't always rich,and what he did get he got at an advanced age,enough for him to live on and have fun,and enough first of all for his kids and ex,he had a bad cough and probable cancer that we never brought up in conversation.murray had other things to talk about,like how cool roy rogers was to him in his youth and how if he could sing like anyone it would be roy...until later when hank williams hit the scene.frankie valli was for the girls he'd say,he was big but not my thing,i wanted to be a singing cowboy,with two sixguns and a horse named geezer.and a geezer sidekick named horse with a horse named wanda.they would be midgets..."anyhow grammatical errors aside,my point being his nostalgic fondness for things of old western vintage and valued anything he collected in that area.and midgets,he just loved midgets,he married one after WWII,his tastes were off the beaten path ,but he wasn't off his rocker as much as everyone else made him out to be...6

"Now what?",he'd ask as if the entire episode was all somehow my fault,"I don't know.",scratching his jaw,"I'm thirsty,how about you?","I do feel a bit dry.",I said,and so we turned into the nearest gas station.He pulled a package of firecrackers out of his pocket and lit them up as we walked into the store and tossed them onto the counter,"Come on boy!!",he yelled and ran to a small fridge taking two pops,and several packs of smokes from the rack by the exit,i just stood there for about a second or two not knowing what to do and made my way to the door,finding only that he hit the lock,and was making his way from behind the counter,so i fumbled and kicked at the door until i found the lock handle and pushed the door open,as murray screached up waiving his wild eyes about along with both fists,as i got in through the window and we hightailed it out of there i didn't bother to ask him why this just happened,for there was no responsable correct answer.7

"What do you think it would be like if we all had tails?",was a favorite question of him to ask,not annoyingly all the time ,but at the moment when you forgot he asked you the same question earlier,and already you answered knew the exact outline in the trail of your own words to be,kind of like controlled deja vu,but if it was all predestined to begin with what would any of that matter any how?"I think it would be cool to have tails,he'd say,people could see when you were happy...","Yeah, that would be alright for awhile.I t might come in handy for wiping off the lunch from your face around noontime."8