SUGAR DADDY1
When I came home from the Marine Corps, within days I found myself poking through bureau drawers in my old room. I suppose it was a reuniting with some of my…stuff. Most of it was intact, and just where I had left it, but my trading card collection seemed lighter, and it was.2
It’s not that my mother thought I wasn’t coming back, but on one Sunday afternoon, in my absence, during a visit from an uncle and his restless little boy, my assuaging mother, with her good intentions to amuse the frantic cousin, pacified the child with half of my collection. She had no idea which half. I did.3
The card collection I had, over the years, painstakingly put together consisted of black and white baseball cards (obtained when you bought bread) red and blue basketball and football cards, and multi-colored American Indians, Western Heroes, G-Men (obtained when you chewed gum) as well as various comic characters (what are known in the hobby as Non-Sports Cards)…whose means of appropriation I shall soon make clear.4
As I rummaged through the now decimated treasures in my drawer I saw a rubber-banded packet of ragged, torn, bent, shabby and tattered cards. The pack, unlike the rest, aside from the verboten rubber band (one doesn’t rubber band cards, lest the edges become marred and indented) were far from the crisp, new and mint, primo, examples elsewhere in the collection. Further, they were even written upon! Desecration! What were these seedy and untidy specimens doing in my otherwise pristine accumulation of treasures? I knew!5
These cards had special value. They were the little known, rarely collected, Sugar Daddy Comic Character Cards! Each bore the likeness of a colorful character from the Chicago Sun Times Syndicate and could only be obtained in a confection known as the Sugar Daddy, a caramel slab on a wooden stick, lollypop style, on which, if you didn’t lose a tooth chewing, you might at least find yourself short a few fillings at the end of the day during which it, minimally, took to finish. The package was wrapped in a bright yellow and red waxed paper.6
There were fifty cards in the complete set, not seemingly very many, until you tried completing the group and realized that after only one of these sweet treats you’d had enough caramel and sugar to last you through a very well pimpled adolescence.7
At the bottom of each card were blank boxes, enough to accommodate all the letters in the name of the mystery character in one of the several comic strips represented. And then the piece d’ resistance: You were instructed on the back of each card that when you had just twenty-five cards, with the correct names filled in, you could send the lot to the James O. Welch (Candy) Company in Cambridge, Massachusetts and subsequently you would receive a… “Prize!” What this “Prize” was, was as much a mystery as many of the names to be provided on the front of the card.8
Also on the back of each card was a strange and amusing bit of jocularity. In a quiet black and white, was depicted the face of a pleasant enough cartoony gentleman prominently saying “Sugar Daddy sings the silliest things!” 9
“To give myself a scary dream, I eat sausages in cream” or10
“Pork is good, chicken fine; my favorite dish is porcupine” or11
“Open wide the dentist cried… I really did, he fell inside.” or12
“If you’d never get black eyes, always fight the little guys!” or13
“Lipstick, powder, oil and paint, a girl is mostly what she ain’t!”14
Each card bore a different bit of whimsy (or wisdom) followed by the instructions you needed to “Win A Prize!”15
The cards I had collected totaled the required twenty-five, gathered from beneath park benches, curbsides, trades, and refuse bins as well as the one or two Sugar Daddy pops I attempted to consume.( I had been on a mission to win the prize!) But the proper names weren’t completed, and apparently, I hadn’t made it! There hadn’t been time enough. And, I assumed, the “offer” had long been rescinded. The contest was over.16
As I stood over my treasures I thumbed through the Sugar Daddy cards:17
“A goofy goop is Boopy Droop. He always bathes in onion soup.”18
“My love for you will always shine… like doodle bugs in turpentine!”19
“When the ocean turns to gravy, the place to be is in the navy.”20
“Mom threw catsup at papa’s head. Boy did papa’s face turn red.”21
“Honey sugar, sweetenin pie, I love you but I don’t know why.”22
I looked at the cartoons and tried to speculate on who the missing twenty-five in the complete set might be. I already had Orphan Annie, Smilin’ Jack, Winnie Winkle, Smitty, Harold Teen and Moon Mullins…and their peripheral players. It seemed that I had most of the major characters in my hand but evidently not. I imagined four or five more, possibly, but twenty-five? It became a passion. Who were the additional twenty-five players?23
Years drifted by when I found myself one afternoon, after a shift on the air at a local radio station in New York, doing nothing in particular. Out of sheer whimsy I picked up the telephone and got the number of the James O. Welch Company in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Surprise! It was still in existence. After just a few rings a man answered and I identified myself.24
I told the man I was working for a major radio station in New York and was a collector doing a story on collectibles. One of those collectibles was the set of Sugar Daddy Comic Cards, a particular old passion of mine. I wondered if the Welch Company had any of these cards stored away, or by any chance could identify the “members” of the old set of fifty. 25
The man laughed. He identified himself and told me he had recently bought the James O. Welch Company and was, indeed, its new president. He said he understood my passion and, in fact, one of the first items of business he himself pursued after taking over the company was to search the place for those long lost cards! He told me, in all seriousness, he looked high and low for those lost items of his own childhood, in boxes and drawers, but found no Sugar Daddy cards. He also confessed that he had learned the bags and bags of the comic cards that were sent in years ago were simply destroyed and the “prizes” sent out; no one bothering to check the correctness of the identifications! We chatted awhile, commiserated, and parted amicably.26
Only a week or so later I received a rather thick envelope in the mail addressed to me at the radio station. It was from the James O. Welch Company in Cambridge, Massachusetts. My heart leapt! 27
Inside was a cordial note from the new president of the Welch Company indicating that he enjoyed our telephone talk and took a certain delight in our shared lusty zeal in seeking to obtain these elusive cards. Alas, however, they were nowhere to be found. But, my new friend added, he is enclosing a set of the birds and wildlife cards, given away in the caramel pops today, although, he admitted, they were nowhere near the heavy cardboard stock of old nor were they the colorful, desired items of mystery and intrigue which we both sought. In a postscript he hastened to say, in an effort to make up for my disappointment, I could expect a “surprise” in the mail within a few days.28
As promised, a few days later, a large package, more than two feet long, arrived. The enclosed note from the new President of the James O. Welch Company read: “This is the “prize” you would have received so many years ago had you sent in all twenty-five “properly identified” comic cards. I hope you enjoy it.” 29
The package contained a beautiful two foot cardboard box, inside of which was a giant foot-long caramel Sugar Daddy pop mounted on an inch-thick wooden dowel…all wrapped in the yellow-and-red- striped Sugar Daddy waxed paper. It was a wonderful “surprise”…and I was about as surprised as I might have been all those years earlier. Of course, I didn’t attempt eating the thing…and it stood in the refrigerator for several years as a great climactic prop to this story.30
Some years later I located a man, a retired doctor in Sarasota, Florida, who had a complete set of these Sugar Daddy cards and who was willing to sell.31
Rationalizing a vacation, I took a plane down and bought the cards. Mint condition! No written names in the clean, blank, boxes on the sharp, crisp, cards! I didn’t take my rationalized vacation but only the next plane back, all the while perusing the pasteboards and studying the amusing wit and wisdom on each back.32
As time passed, of course, the novelty of the cards wore away, although they were appropriately cared for and enclosed in plastic, becoming pages in a neat loose leaf… and placed on a shelf.33
I might completely have forgotten all about them but for a strange discovery I made when reviewing a listing of tenants in a condominium I had just purchased. One of the tenants was James O. Welch Jr.…son of the original James O. Welch of candy company fame! When I had located my prized cards and dusted them off, I wrote Welch a nice note telling him of my Sugar Daddy/Welch odyssey. I brought the prized cards down from New York, anticipating some kind of colorful reaction when Welch Jr. saw before him these pristine items from his youth that should have been long lost in the shuffle and confusion of all those yesterdays. There was no response to my note. I tried again…. Again, no response. I left a sealed envelope at the desk for him. Nothing! I retrieved the items, and never saw nor heard from Welch in ten years! I inquired at the desk about him…the concierge said: "He’s a strange man…mostly just keeps to himself." 34
“Our clock ticks itself to death…never stops to catch its breath!”35
“There lives a man in Kalamazoo…I don’t know his name, do you?”36
“When I’m driving on the highway…I hope my car keeps going my way.”37
“Ask your mother if you may… go with me to Hudson’s Bay.”38
“Hi-ho, hi-ho and away we go… clippety clip to Mexico.”39
Sugar Daddy sings…the silliest things! 40
Author notes
It's all about what it all comes down to. The sound and fury...the bottom line...the final tally...the end product. This tale sums it up!
GA
And the stories of "Gold?"
Harriet
Mort of Magic
A Silly Tale
A Little Unfinished Monkey Business
Shipwreck
Stentor
Miles
The Party
Mirror,Mirror,on the Wall
Sid Stone
The Return
Narrowsburg
Sportsman's
A contest entry
- You, Yourself...and Being Philosophical by TyShade.
1500 points, ended April 2, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Unique Gold Short Story Contest by gezza.
1350 points, ended August 15, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything but please nothing stupid!!! by Sheilasbabygal4life.
325 points, ended September 17, 78 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 60 of 60
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LOL. Is this somehow in anyway a true story? This is pure partial-biography comedic genius. I loved some of those Sugar Daddy quotes. Especially the sexist ones
you're great.
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Very nice.
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Suuuuweet!
Never actually lost a filing, but the potential was there. They were great for Saturday PM matinees because they did last. Don't remember saving any of the cards, but I weep for the baseball cards that vanished into thin air at some point between 6th grade and college;Mickey Mantles, Willie Mays, Henry Aarons, Sandy Koufaxs, Roberto Clementes, Willie Stargells, Early Wynns, Ernie Banks etal. Between my brother and myself we collected over 600 cards from the 50's and 60's. We used to eat Kellogg Corn Flakes to get the cards on the back of the boxes (talk about white sugar intake. Needed at least 2 tablespoons to choke those flakes down). Also had autographed pictures of Paul Horning & Alex Karras (from the year they had to sit out for gambling) that saw the bottom of a garbage can during one of my Mom's scorched earth campaigns in our room.
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This was very well written and very enjoyable to read. It was nicely written... Thanks for entering my contest and best of luck to you!!~
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When Sugar Daddy sings....even pigs have wings
Just to read all those pithy sayings was a treat!
I have seen those giant Sugar Daddy's for sale at fairs. Having no teeth left and not wishing acne, I have avoided them.
A delightfully re-contstructed slice of life..... The bitter-sweet attempt at reconnecting with civilian life; the ratty little cousin we've all had [or were!]; the hermit candy baron who wouldn't share our nostalgia; etc. All nicely woven.
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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yay! *claps* another faboulous story. bravo!
I like the big Sugar Daddy as the "suprise". I found it somewhat predictable, but ingenious all the same. I can somehow imagine one of those..
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I loved this piece. It flowed nicely, and the detail was vivid as ever. And I loved the off beat poetic setting you made. You wrote this wonderfuly.
Good job, keep up the good work. -
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AAAAAAAAGH you pretty girl why do you have to leave me deprived of my syrup supply!
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Once again, excellent work.Makes me wish I still had my trading cards from "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"...
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I love the flow this has - smoothe, vividly detailed, and offhandedly poetic. This guy kind of reminds of one of my favorite fictional characters named "Pierre Bontemps" who is always acting silly and singing funny rhymes. I never actually had any Sugar Daddys, nor have I ever seen the cards, but this was an enlightening look at them, and indeed, admirably humorous.
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Ah, you excel in nostalgia pieces, my friend. Another gem (or Popsicle, in this case). It is a relatively short piece, but admirably the right length for the subject matter - and I enjoyed every word.
I think of your other stories and how the delicate, but nevertheless tangible weight, of your universalisms leaves a delectable aftertaste, and this is what endears me to your stories most. It was here again, but perhaps a little more delicate than usual- and I tried my best to grasp it before I read your notes. It seems to me that the message in this story is not dissimilar to some of your others' - the way time sharpens and blunts at the same time, but with different elements of one's existence. It was definitely there, but I had to work a little harder to appreciate it.
This story is top notch, but summarising my thoughts above, I feel that other stories I have read by you do it a smidgeon better.
Well done.
Gez
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Great
You take the simple things in life and make them essential to life and the pursuit of happiness. I have collections of eggs,very dear to my heart, very few are valuable yet they are in the same cabinet and in my mind worth the same.
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This story is Great! I search for faults, but find none. This is very entertaining. Thank youf or sharing it with me, keep it up!
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This was very interesting. great job (:
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Another interesting trip down memory lane. A nicely told story and while reading a few incidents from my own youth flashed past.
Happy trails.
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Very good story, very well done. You have quite a large amount of talent. Keep bringing interesting stories to the website!
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curios
what ever happened to the card and the owners son. did you ever find out what the name was supposed to be spelled out onthe cards.
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Of course,I was thinking about that other sugar daddy! Silly me.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I think that it takes a very strange man indeed to not keep to himself.
Line 14 is hurtful to a man like myself who has hope.
Why do I have hope?
Because I am very stupid.
I know that things that used to mean so much become devalued as time beats down their contemporary worth.
Even so I hang on to the meaningless little things as they drag me kicking and screaming into my coffin.
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Hmmm...There was no conflict in the story, but I guess you would say people have enough of that in stories. A lovely story, how do you manage to remember it all?
I found it quite intriguing why James O.Welch Jr. sold his dad's company to someone else, and lives a reserved life. Most rich heirs don't, they do exactly the opposite!
I found it surprising that he lived in a condo...don't presidents live in mansions or multi-duplex apartments?
To be honest, most people would find this really silly and of no value, and would not be interested in the SugarDaddy/Welch Odyssey...that's the world is.
P.S. Didn't your parents ever throw the Sugar Daddies away?
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Another nostalgia filled trip down memory lane. I always enjoy your little jaunts and the fond remembrances they evoke. Thanks Steve
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How do I win prize? Is prize like trophy? I am having one trophy. I like the rhymes of yours.
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Wow !
This seemed like it accualtly happened to a real person?!
true story?
nostalgic and funny as you lol.
Wonderful read though... i enjoyed it all every much.
You're accually making me want those cards
Great peice !
it took me a while to read it but it was worth it !!
Job well done !
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WOW I loved this. The quotes from the cards interspersed throughout the story really was a great touch. Haha now I want some of those cards. Great job! ! ! !
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What a beautiful little tale, positively dripping with nostalgia and feverous searchings for the mundane whimsies that set a life apart as individual, one could almost say that this small piece is a metaphor for life…but then one could almost say anything if they so wished…eerrm yeah. Again I really like this; love the way you write about personal matters that are trivial, yet somehow poignant and interesting to all. You really have a gift and are helping me deal with working in the office.
“Our clock ticks itself to death…never stops to catch its breath!”35 – You know this one is actually genuinely quite evocative and wise, who’d have thought it… head candy!
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As usual, an excellent piece of story-telling! I really enjoyed reading it.
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This was a very enjoyable story, filled with nostalgia and whimsy. The cards were too early for my time, but I feel as if I've seen the candy somewhere before. Can't quite recall where, though. Anyways, I had fun reading this; his quest kept me entertained and curious the whole way through. Shame that the son never responded, but I smiled when the company sent him that long awaited "prize". Nicely done.
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Is this a true story?? I loved it. It was longer than I usually read (I have a ridiculously short attention span) but this one was compelling! It reminds me of the Cracker Jack prizes. Once my aunt got a box without a prize (a washable tatoo or joke or bumper sticker) and sent a letter to Cracker Jack and she got a whole box full of prizes. (: I love stories like this. About the good old times and the good old people that still exist today. (: Finalist list.
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You were right!
I did like this... I found it to be a very enjoyable stroll down your private "Memory Lane". What tales you do have to tell, and how glad I am you share them. This one was, as yours usually are, delightful. I didn't know anything about "Sugar Daddy" candy (it sounds awful, I must admit), much less about Sugar Daddy collectible cards full of silly sayings. Ah, the simple pleasures of childhood... and the complicated pursuit of them in adulthood! You are really a great story teller. It's always a privilege to read one of your pieces, and always a treat to see you've posted a new one.
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Very good story.
Very good story written in your clear and excellent manner.
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Iv'e noticed that just about all collectors get tired of their passion as soon as their 'quest is fulfilled' A collection seems to only be worth something when it is incomplete and worth nothing... the pursuit of happiness is the pursuit itself. Anyway, i have never actually had a sugardaddy so I was never really aware of any kind of card, though, of course, this was probably before my time. THis was a wonderfull write, but one thing bugged me: i want to know more about the character in this story. Very enjoyable,
Bret
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WAY TOO SWEET!
Wonderful story! I like the way you take things gradually, the way you build up interest little by little. Your stories usually contain a mystery to be solved and this one is no exception! I found it strange that Mr. Welch, Jr. didn't respond to your inquiries. There is something in this story that reminds me of the movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and its owner Willie Wonka, portrayed very skilfully by Mr. Johnny Depp.
A belated Happy Birthday if indeed you have had a recent birthday.
Anaya Roma
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5.
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nostalgia revisited...candy and complementary cards...
wow...!!! thanks for taking me back in time
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Though I've never had a Sugar Daddy, they reminded me of my favorite drink - the somewhat rare Jones Soda. In addition to being very tasty, they also have quips on their bottle caps much like what you found with the caramel candy pops.
And, even though I've never really collected cards, I had a good amount of friends that did in my old hometown, always trading on the church playground.
You tell these stories with such ease, Gary! Once again, great job. I love the fact that you put some of the cards' "bits of whimsy" in the story - they gave it an even more thoughtful touch.
Thanks for the read!
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“Lipstick, powder, oil and paint, a girl is mostly what she ain’t!”14
Such wisdom (and early sexism =3)! Actually, I like that enough to put it on the wall of my dorm room.
Of course, I didn’t attempt eating the thing…and it stood in the refrigerator for several years as a great climactic prop to this story.30
=D! So clever. A very teasing way of getting the reader's focus by making her realize she's reading and that life can be stranger than stories.
I really liked this, dialogue, tone, all great. If you wanted any suggestions, I've never seen a Sugar Daddy card myself (although I've had the candy), and I would really like to know exactly what one looked like. But your imagery is already better than satisfactory.
Baseball cards, frogs, and toys... I hope I don't give birth to boys!
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!! I hope the bit about the cards being given to a cousin isn't true, that is a HEARTBREAKER. I didn't even read the whole story yet, I just saw that and flipped. My sympathies!
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Wonderful as always, I got extremely curious about the "gift", and I loved the point where it is revealed, since you had previously mentioned that the lollipop was near inedible. That moment was definitely on par with the "And she hung up"-moment in Harriet, comedy-wise so to speak. Admittedly though, the ending (p. 34) was quite anticlimactic. You have yet to write the story that can knock Barry off my best of Storywrite top position. This one wasn't far away.
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Hi Gary!
I'm bookmarking it. I'll get to it when I can.
Andy -
Nice story, nicely done
Hi Gary---Well—you have toughed on a past-time, which never interested me in the slightest. The Sugar-Daddy-Comic-Character-Cards must have been a regional thing, because despite the fact that we are about the same age I have never heard of them.
Many of my peers were card collector, but they generally ranged from, hockey, baseball and perhaps football and probably in that order.
Your Sugar Daddy Cards sound interesting with their witty little gems of wisdom, who knows I may have been a fan if they were available here.
The problem was big brownie. He lured around the edges of my awareness taunting, daring, even challenging me to enter into combat. I got to know Big Brownie a lot better than my friends because he lived just a stones throw from my Uncles farm, way over near Stone Town. It was a long trip for youngster on bicycles, but we made it as often as we could, and generally without our parents knowledge.
When ever my family went to Uncle Bert’s farm I would take off across country, heading for another encounter with Big Brownie. He became a passion that grew to gigantic proportions, as we passed from bicycle to auto. The encounters became legionary sometimes lasting for an entire long weekend and still there was no definitive winner.
At seventeen I was considering the prospect of joining the RCN and I went to Brownie for advice. No we didn’t talk we just eyed each other, but by dusk I had made up my mind.
Five years later I left the RCN with a trade and a wife. We returned to Ontario, but I couldn’t settle down, until I paid a visit to Brownie. I pulled the car to a stop, and stepped out everything was exactly as I left it.
Tying a dry fly to the line I cast it three times before settling it just where I wanted it. The dry fly came to live as I sent vibration after vibration down the line. Then it happened, the surface of the creek exploded as Brownie took the fly. He leapt three feet into the air twisting his greenish brown body this way and that. It seemed like he was doing a dance in mid air, his body seemed to simmer in the sun light, as he fell back into the creek. I fought brownie for twelve to fifteen minutes, gradually bring him close to the shore where I managed to get the net under him. I have eaten a lot of fish in my day, but that one was the best of the bunch.
My friends told me that he wasn’t the brownie of our youth, but I said he looks like Brownie, he acted like Brownie, he even tasted like I envisioned Brownie would taste and that’s good enough for me.
This story has nothing to do with yours, but perhaps it explains why I never had time to collect.
Winter is over, at least until it comes back. We are expecting six degree temperatures to-morrow. We have lost most of our snow cover and as unbelievable as it sounds with very little flooding. Nice little story and well told.
Talk to you soon---ablelaz.
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
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Fantastic as always GA! You've done marvelous in putting us in your pocket as you travel down the lanes of your memory!
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This was such a cute little story! I loved how big a role the cards and candy played in this. I especially like Sugar Daddys, despite the fact that they contain no chocolate. I'm glad you got your card collection in the end!
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Good story
What a tragedy that the odyssey ended the way it did. I remember the Sugar Daddy and ate my fair share of them, but I don't remember the cards. Did you personally write the whimsies at the end? Thanks for sharing.
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Great write!
Once again, a fascinating story; nostalgic and funny. Just your style it seems. =]
I enjoyed the snippets of rhymes from the cards and puzzled over the kids who could actually solve twenty five of these strange riddles. You did an amazing job with your description of memories and events, as always, and you were right when you guaranteed that I ewould enjoy this peice.
I've never eaten sweets when I was younger. Probably because I was a dancer and I wasn't given anything, but I only ate them when I came to America. As for collecting.. I had always had the patience, but not the will. I don't know if that even makes sense, but it's what prevented me from becoming a collector in childhood.
By the way.. the comments I had read so far showed that you have had a birthday recently? If so, then happy birthday. I wish you much happiness and more inspiration for wonderful stories to come
I believe it is only fair that you try commenting on one of my stories now? =]
Great job, once again.
Olinda
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Cute!
I liked this. When I read the title I thought it might be a story about a pimp. But then I figured there was no way your themes could have changed that much.
Well... I'm glad it wasn't a story about a pimp.
A very simple tale told well. I enjoyed reading it. I've never been one to really collect anything. Never had the patience.
And like the story, it shows how something so valuable to one person can mean absolutely nothing to another.
Glad you got your prize.
Yrs.
Azaradelle.
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very good story, and a very awesome card collection lol.
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Thank you so much for pointing this out! I really enjoyed it. It flows very well from the first paragraph to the final one. And it ended most realistically... not everyone wants to be found, or contacted. The obsessional quality is finely presented, and the punctuation of the story with the "witty" sayings is a great device to carry the story along. Very nicely done! Lita
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I haven't had a Sugar Daddy in a long time... I think it was several years ago, and while I was chewing, one of my loose teeth was pulled out....
It was quite amusing to read about a childhood obsession that, in a way, transcended into adulthood. I collected Pokémon cards as a small child, but my interest in collecting soon faded. I can't imagine one of my own collections surviving for that long!
I particularly enjoyed the little snippets from the cards. Some of them were very witty, and a few made me laugh aloud.
It's been a while since I've read any of your work, and it was incredibly refreshing to do so; I'm very glad you suggested this piece.
Thank you very much for sharing; this piece was quite enjoyable.
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Haha, an amusing tale, Gary. Well crafted as always. I can't say I've ever had the urge to collect cards, I have plenty of siblings who like to collect things, but about all I collect (aside from guitars) is dust. So I can't say I can't say I know what it's like having an almost complete set and not being able to get the last one. Heh.
So yes, thanks for sharing, it was a nice tale to start the day.
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I would have been greatly amused to read those little snippets in candies. As a child, I only ate Dominican sweets. I do understand the spirit of collecting though. I was in middle school when the Yu-gi-oh cards were popular - yeah I know them. I was interested and had a large, valuable collection only to be stolen by some kids I knew.
Fascinating how we still hold on to things of our past, how we cherish and pursue them like an old lost dream, a memory of lost innocence.
Good piece Gary.
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Mmmmmm! I love Sugar Daddys. Although I havn't had one for ages. I liked this story alot. I've never been a card collecter, so at first I was wondering how much this would interest me by the end,I was proven wrong. I loved it anyway. Is this a true story? It seemed like it was.
Anyway, I liked it alot. I wish I could give constructive critism, but story-wise I loved it, and as you well know, I'm not exactally one who could comment on any grammer mistakes (if I saw any, which I did not). I'm getting better though overall. I'm can more efficiantly edit my own stuff. I read a book on grammer called "Eats, shoots and leaves". Anyway, The point is, I liked this story alot and really did enjoy reading it. ^_^
-Ople GLE
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Ooh, I loved this! How sweetly fascinating. I'm a caramel freak, though the only Sugar Daddy I ever tried, I couldn't finish! Alas.
As always, Gary, your rich swirls of description wrapped my mind, like a red-and-yellow waxed paper, coloring your tale with wondrous imagery, and I thoroughly ate up every word. Yum! Who doesn't love a candy story? Thanks for the great and wonderful tale.
My play by play comments:
p2 seemed lighter, and it was - it sounds like you're just repeating yourself. Maybe "...seemed lighter. Turns out, it really was."
p3 but but but...what happened to the cards?? Or, is that for another tale?
p7 Hee hee! I love your description of adolescence here.
p8 was, was - perhaps "entailed, was", "consisted of, was"
p16 had me laughing. What a scavenger! Can I guess that "attempted to consume" means you couldn't finish the treat?"
p24, really? You call a company, and the president answers? Really? *squints*
p28 "But, my new friend added, he is enclosing" - s/b "was enclosing", unless you want to quote from the cordial note
p29 comma between long and arrived
also, you just mentioned that the president was sending the package in the previous paragraph; not sure you need to say so again here
might change "said" to "read" since it's a note and doesn't actually speak.
p30 box, inside
foot-long
is there another flavor of Sugar Daddy besides caramel? I don't think you need to call it caramel here if there isn't
inch-thick
yellow-and-red-striped
Of course, I
p33 wore away, although
p34 needs a period at the end of the last sentence.
p35 New York, anticipating
Maybe start a new paragraph with the sentence "There was no response..."
The again...Again drags at my poor eyeballs...maybe "I wrote another note...Again, no response."
I wonder if the last two sentences in this paragraph might work better in the opposite order, so you end with the drama of "...ten years!"
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Valkyrie......I think I got 'em all! THIS...
Is why God made proof readers and good editors! (If I had another Sugar Daddy...it would definitely go to you!)
GA -
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Aww, thanks, Ellipsis Man.
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Happy Birthday.
Everyone else was saying it, so, "Happy Birthday!" However old you are, I wish you many more.
I saw you featured this, and I hadn't yet read it, so I decided to. This is yet another magnificently written example of how skilled you truly are at remembering how things were in the good old days. It also kind of shows how things just aren't made the same way anymore; now everything is mass produced and our food is so processed it all might as well be artificial chemicals. Back then things were...purer, one might say, then they are now, a simpler life and by many accounts a happier, less hectic one.
Happy birthday, again.
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Well-expressed...
GA,
A delightful read.
Your superior ability to convey the essence of nostalgia graciously takes me with you, again, on a journey to a happy time and place. And, of course, your tidy little lessons are effectively made: once achieved, the things we want/strive for/work towards usually end up on a shelf (wrapped in plastic) and no one appreciates them as we do.
Didn’t know it was your birthday…HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Eat cake!!
Sincerely,
Claudia
PS- para 25 may have a punctuation issue.
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What happened to the lost cards? I'm not a collector of cards, but if I was - I'd be bribing the kid to hand them back.
It's an interesting tale and well written. What an odd name for a candy bar We didn't have these in England, so I never had the doubtful joy of removing my fillings on one
I enjoyed reading it, Gary.
Lis.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Hi Gary,
You've done it again! This is a great piece of nostalgia and freminds me of my days back in another era when I used to collect cards of famous sportsmen. Never did manage to finish any collection
The revelation about the "awarding" of prizes does not surprise me in a way. It seems there was 'mis-selling' back in the 'good old days' although not as blatant as now.
That James O Welch Jnr seems a bit of an eccentric, did you ever get to see him?
A lovely story, well written with your usual aplomb and fine 'wordsmithyness' (how's that for a new word - NO don't answer that question)
A fine tale from a fine wordsmith
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Happy birthday!
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A delightfully fluffy tale
This story pinnacled for me at the arrival of "the prize" and brought a genuine, knowing smile to my face. Your deftness of touch (and of word) strikes again, though the trailing away after the pinnacle seemed a little over long. To stretch out the effect, you may prefer to save the revelation of its nature until the very end. You'd hold your readers' interest in the final paragraphs there too. Also, you seem not to have resolved the opening tale of the destruction / loss of the original cards. Were they ever tracked down or were they completely destroyed.
Very pleasurable writing.
The final sentence of paragraph 8 contains an "as" which I think should be an "a"
Thanks for entertaining me today.
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Suger daddy's are too sweet. This was very enteresting, I really enjoyed reading it. THis remind's me of the garbage pile kids cards I got from Gummy bear boxes or traded with friends for pepsi bottle caps. Never really got all of them and not till know did I remember I had them. You would have loved them, Gross but I think that's what caught people's attention. They were even made into stickers, and a clothes line I do believe. The things they come up with these day's. Nice work.
(KA)
Host
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