She Only Wanted to Be Free

"Mommy? Can we go on a walk through the woods like we used to do all the time?" Abigail asked her Mother, tugging on her dress. 1

Her Mother looked down at her with sad eyes, they had been sad since the war started last year. Last year, the year of 1939, Germany invaded Poland. And life hasn't been the same since. Abigail's family, a Jewish family, no longer had a radio, a vehicle, fountain pens, and gold. Abigail remembered the first time she had ever seen her Mother cry, when the golden necklace her Father had given to her Mother was gently unclasped from around her neck and handed over to German soilders. Abigail hated the soilders. All she wanted was for them to leave. She, only being 5 years old, didn't understand why they were there and why they seemed to be so angry at the people of her religion. But how could someone understand that?2

Beatrice put the dress down that she was hanging on the clothing line and pushed a strand of curly dark hair away from her daughter's pale face. Her face used to be nice and tan but because of the months of confinment inside the house her skin tone had become a pasty looking white. Beatrice's brows furrowed together in worry. She hated keeping Abigail away from her childhood.3

"No, Abby. You know that we can't go in the forest. It's dangerous. The German soilders have forbidden us from going in there and if they catch us..." She grabbed the dress and hung it on the clothes line, unable to finish her sentance. Abigail couldn't understand what was happening. 4

Abigail looked down at her yellow and white dress. "I miss how things were before..."5

Beatrice bent down to be level to her daughter, "Why don't you go play in the front yard? Go run around while the sun is out. Just don't leave the yard. Okay, sweetie?"6

"Okay!" Abigail skipped off and her Mother smiled as she left before returning to her work.7

Abigail hopped into the front yard and began to search for early spring flowers that may be in bloom. She wanted to gather a few flowers to possible brighten her dull house. Anything would help to make the long days stuck inside seem better. She stumbled upon a blooming daisy. Abigail looked down at the plant in wonder. She hadn't seen one in so long and she reached down to lightly touch one of the soft, white petals. The sensation on her fingertips sent chills down her spine and a jolt of excitment through her body. Spring was coming and the hope that the war would end soon was growing. Unfortunatly the citizens of Poland had no knowledge of the concentration camps being built right at the center of their own country. Very few would survive to find out that the war would rage on for six more horrifying years.8

Abigail stumbled backward from the flower. She had been caught by suprise by a small scratching noise. She cautiously stepped forward and came upon a baby blue colored butterfly resting upon a flower that was not yet in bloom. The butterfly was moving it's blue and black wings gently against the grass around it, creating the scratching sound that had suprised the young child. The girl's brown eyes widened. She hadn't seen a butterfly and quite some time. She had always daydreamed about seeing one flutter outside her bedroom window. To her, a butterfly was a symbol of hope. That's what her Grandmother had told her. Her Dear Grandmother had believed that butterflies were a symbol of hope and Abigail followed that belief. 9

"It's hope..." the young girl breathed out as she gazed at the beautiful insect occupying the, not yet in bloom, flower. She reached out to touch it but the butterfly fluttered it's wings and floated gracefully to another flower. Abigail went to that flower and tried to touch the insect again but it, again, took flight. This time it didn't land, it continued flying into the forest. Abigail looked on after it. It would be so wonderful to be free! That's all Abigail wanted, freedom. She didn't want to be identified by the German's as a "lazy swine" or a "selfish jew". She looked at her dress where the Star of David was sewn on. She was tired of it. That one star was the cause of everything. It kept her confined. And now her beloved religion seemed to turn against her, betray her. She didn't want it anymore. She tore the star off of her dress and started after the butterfly. The star shaped peice of cloth floated down next to the flower that was not in bloom yet. 10

When Abigail entered the forest she rubbed her eyes and reopened them again to see if she was dreaming. She giggled when she learned that she was awake and began to twirl amongst the green plants. The forest was beautiful, evem more beautiful than she remembered. As the young girl twirled, her arms spread like a bird, the blue butterfly came and twirled with her. She stared at it as it seemed to dance through the air. It was one of the most gorgeous things she had ever seen in a long time. Everything seemed to be brighter, even the thought of leaving her home, because she was finally free. That's all she ever wanted! 11

The butterly began to flutter away and, of course, Abigail couldn't help but follow. She still wanted to touch it, to feel the sensation of it's soft wings on her skin. Maybe even some of it's beauty would rub off on her. Or maybe she would even turn into a beautiful butterfly and she could fly and dance with it.; She imagined it; the fingers of the wind carressing her beautiful yellow wings, the sweet music of the leaves whispering to her in the wind, the warm sunlight reaching down to touch her just as she wanted to touch the blue butterfly. 12

The buterfly landed on a low branch and moved it's wings slowly, as if it were motioning for the young girl to come toward it. Abigail couldn't resist, she gingerly walked forward. Each step brought her closer to the magnificent creature and soon she was there next to it, eyelevel with it. The butterfly perched on the branch, it's wings still gracefully moving until it became aware of the small girl and remained still. Abigail could almost hear it calling to her, and she knew it was now or never. She gently brought her hand forward, her eyes wide with wonder and question. Her fingertips were mere centimeters away from one of the creture's soft wings when, very suddenly, there was a loud noise. A painful noise. It echoed in Abigails ears and made her head throb. It tore though the silence viciously, it was scary to Abigail, she had never heard that sound before. 13

The sound was scary enough that the small girl couldn't even feel the pain in her chest. Nor could she feel the warm blood slowly drip down her stomach and soak her clothing. She didn't want to look at where the sound had come from, she wanted to close her eyes and sleep. She knew that if she fell asleep the butterfly would leave. But she couldn't help it and her eyes began to close. So she took one last look at the insect that had given her so much hope. And she smiled. It was the most peaceful feeling in world. She didn't even feel her body hit the ground. 14

As she lay on the ground, smiling and peaceful, she kept her eyes open. Because she knew something was going to happen that she needed to see. The butterfly gracefully leaped from it's perch and floated down next to the dying child. The beautiful creature landed atop the leaves beside her. The girl remained smiling and kept her eyes open even when she couldn't see anymore because of the blinding white light. Her smile remained, even though she was sad that she never got to touch hope, she had gotten to see it. Maybe other people would find hope. Maybe her Mother, as she weeped at her dead child's side, would find hope and make it through the war. Maybe a small child, a lot like Abigail, would later find the Star of David, that Abigail had ripped off of her clothing, next to a blooming flower and find the strength to make it through the hard ships that were to come. 15

Abigail never had hope. She had tried to find it, almost had it right in her hands, but it was taken away from her. A lot of things were taken away from her; her belongings, her hope, her breath, even her life. She had never done anything to have everthing lost.16

But she had finally gotten what she wanted. 17

And she only wanted to be free.