Avery's Song: Chapter Three: Seal It Away, Forget About It

Chapter Three: Seal It Away, Forget About It.1

I suppose I should take you back to the very first day it started here for me, that I can remember. It was a white December day and the snow was falling in clumps together. It was cold but there was no wind making it nice which isn’t what I’ve come to expect after living my entire life in Massachusetts. My skin was superbly pale blending in with the oncoming snow. My short frame in a purple jacket, the fur from the hood was bothering me now, and the day was not starting out well. I didn’t want to go to school.2

I began to walk faster.3

The world was white with cold.4

**5

I don’t belong here among you. I could feel it deep in my bones, churning inside of me ever since I was old enough to recognize it. 6

I’m odd, unnatural even and it takes a toll on me. It’s like watching the world through a distorted window. The kids here, they can sense it too, even if they don’t quite know what it is yet. They trust their instincts enough to stay far away from me. The only clear thing I can see in this window is my own reflection.7

If I were like them, I’d stay away from me too.8

You can see it deep in my eyes, my unnaturally purple eyes, darker and richer than any of their own. You can see it in the way the light reflects off my hair and skin, making me almost glow, you can see it in the way I walk, the grace I hold in my posture. My nimble quick movements hold every possible trace of oddity. Even in my voice, an accent foreign to any country I’ve ever heard. My skin is always too hot, like there’s a fire burning just beneath my flesh, yet I never sweat. 9

**10

“How was school?” My mother asked not looking up from what she was doing. She eyed me through the mirror where she was applying her dating face. I looked outside, night had already begun to fall, and the winter solstice was upon us quickening my day, stealing away the hours of light. 11

I didn’t answer, I didn’t speak. 12

I don’t speak.13

This time however it was for a different reason.14

I could feel it coming.15

I dropped my bag with a loud clunk and sprinted up the stairs taking them two, even three at a time. I flung myself down the hall and into my room. I locked the door and didn’t bother turning on the lights. I knew what was happening. Instead of staying in the open I pulled my closet door open nearly ripping it from the hinges. I pushed the shoes aside and sat closing the door. I grabbed a sweatshirt and stuck it in my mouth. 16

I could feel my eyes turn a sick black color, the veins contracting. I pushed myself up against the wall and my legs against the wall opposite me to keep from writhing in pain as it started. My muscles went rigid under my skin, my body turned hotter than usual.17

Don’t ask me what IT is, I don’t know, but for all intensive purposes let’s call it Flashing.18

My mind’s eye zoomed quickly over images, blurring some, clearly seeing others, I didn’t know what they meant. It was like a broken tape, images flashing quickly. My bones felt like they were blazing and my veins were becoming, small little lines of black under my translucent skin. I screamed and screamed again bighting hard upon the sweatshirt to keep them from leaving my room, to keep them from falling upon other ears.19

I saw something, what, I wasn’t exactly sure. There was a voice filling my thoughts, surrounding me, whispering in my ear as if it was right next to me coming for me in the darkness. I couldn’t breathe. My body moved uncontrollably. I felt everything clearer, like someone had lifted a course veil from over my senses. I could hear my heart beat, my head pound and my watch tick. There was a bird far out my window and my mother was on her way out of the house on the arm of some man. The clothes I had all around me felt scratchy and hurt to touch and the pain was bitterly amplified. 20

“Open the seal.” It repeated over and over again, the darkness was all consuming, it pressed against my skin, against my throat pushing the air from my lungs, stopping time in its tracks for only a moment. I was caught mid gasp, my body slowed, and then stopped. I could no longer hear the rhythmic pulsing of my heart in my ear, my body no longer shook and I could almost swear to you I couldn’t hear the ticking of my watch any longer either. Then all of a sudden it seemed as if someone had pushed fast forward on the remote and I gulped in air, breath after breath letting it fill me and letting the black in my veins fade slowly from sight, letting my eyes clear once more and letting my body ache in pain and return slowly to normal. 21

The darkness pushed still in on me though, the one feeling I couldn’t get rid of. I needed out of the closet. I fiddled with the door handle from my spot on the floor among the old shoes and papers, among the discarded closet skeletons and memories I keep hidden away from sight. I pushed it open less forcefully than it was opened, and for a split second I thought my mother would be standing at the door wanting to see what all the fuss was about. 22

I endured a split second of disappointment. I had learned my lesson long ago with disappointment, don’t expect something and you won’t be dejected when it doesn’t happen. I had long since stopped expecting my mother to be anything than what she is. 23

My mother will always be this way, and so will I, which undoubtedly means flashes and all. When they first started occurring I was worried it was something medical related as any sane person would, but I soon realized that pouring through medical journals and through Google page after Google page that’s not what it was. It was supernatural to say the least. I learned soon after they started occurring periodically that they were of events soon to come, events that have come and events that will change life as I know it. 24

Don’t ask me what I am, I don’t know. Don’t ask me where I’m from, I don’t know, and please don’t ask me what I’m doing here, because I honestly don’t know.25

I looked out my window where the darkness stood waiting for me. Telling me slowly there was no escape from myself, standing there solemnly reminding me of Lord knows what.26

The only thing I know for certain, whatever seal it was talking about I wouldn’t be opening. With that last thought I flicked on every possible light in my room and sat down cradling my head delicately in my arms. 27

**28

I didn’t sleep much last night, when I did it felt like a half sleep where I dreamt the blackness would come in through the cracks in my home, through the little nooks and crannies, places that couldn’t be blocked and crush me. 29

I would wake up panting and swearing.30

Twice I walked out of my room and into the hallway only to stop right before my Mom’s room, she wasn’t home either time. She was still out with what’s his face. Tomorrow she’ll let him in and on Wednesday we won’t have our television any more. That’s the way things are for us. She struggles to get by while I struggle to make sure she stays alive long enough to get us by. However, you find risky behavior goes along with risky jobs, especially one such as hers. I will only provide this answer for your question.31

She isn’t in a gang. The rest shall be left up to your assuming minds, which I know has already begun to formulate disgust at our way of life. But you see, the thing about disgusting ways of life, they’re ways of life none the less. No matter how much you hate the way you live, it is impossible to complain about being able to live it. Unless however you are me, then you get a reason to wish for something more than just being here, when being here is the sole reason for your way of life, which to some is simple, utterly, whole heartedly, disgusting. Which kind of brings me back to the original point I made a while ago, this isn’t pretty.32

**33