The Other Side Of Reality

1

We were just hanging out at the lake, submersed in the thick woodlands of my memories. Me, Arryn and his friends had just decided to hang out in the cabin that weekend. The electricity was on and we could do anything we felt like. Who knew that Arryn would end up saving me that weekend?2

I felt cut off, watching him flirt with the other girls there, knowing that never again would I measure up to his standards. He went out with girls for plain fun and I was left to flounder in his wake. They would smoke and drink together, they had fun and didn't think about the rest of the earth at that particular moment. I was desolate, reserved, brilliant at times and had nothing in common with the girls he went after.3

I laughed automatically at some lame joke his friends came up with and excused myself and sat in the dark-plagued kitchen. I breathed in calmly, steadying my heart-beat, pulling my pocket knife out of my jeans pocket. I opened the blade and pressed it against my inflamed skin, continuing the inscription I had begun on my wrist: Lost My Hope. I had already torn all but three letters in the past week, so I began on the second "O", blood rising to the surface so easily now.4

I heard someone voice the need for a drink so I snapped the blade shut and slid it under the shelf next to me. Erasing any trace of blood from the floor, I tried to act natural as Mike turned on the light in the kitchen.5

I flinched as light intruded on my senses. Mike did a double-take as he opened the fridge, noticing me in the corner. Arryn came in and sat at the table and patted the chair beside him, indicating that I should join him. I got up, eyeing the shelf, making sure the blade was hidden. I saw Arryn's eyes check the floor. Where I had sat and watched him frown.6

As Mike went back into the living room, Arryn gently took my hand and slowly he maneuvered my arm so he could see my wrist. I matched his stare eye for eye, wishing I had an ounce of an excuse. He groaned softly and pulled me closer, into his arms. His lips found mine; his kiss gentle and heart-breaking, soft and eloquent. "Why, Carissa?"7

"Do you honestly have to ask that?"8

"Please, please, PLEASE stop."9

"I don't know if I can."10

He kissed the crimson tears from my wrist and ran a gentle finger over the old scars. "Why didn't you tell me, 'Rissa?" 11

"Do you have to ask that either?"12

He closed his eyes as if to absorb this information. A tear ran down his cheek. He didn't give me time to respond; he pulled me be the hand, dragging me back, keeping me close to him, labeling me his. 13

My heart beat fast as I woke up. No- I thought, the dream of my love sliding away. 14

Oh yes, this is reality. No one's coming to save me from myself like Arryn took care of me in my dream. As I leaned back against the soft, tear-stained pillows, my heart slowed, my eyes remembering the feel of tears against my skin as I tried to ease back off to sleep. There's no one this side of reality to save me and there never will be. This pain is mine alone to endure for the rest of my God-given days. 15

xXxChristinaxXx16