Experience

One late afternoon, it was all set for me to have a great lecture at the college. The gusty wind escaped the windows and blew all the papers away, behind which all the members of the class ran to catch. I was there in the classroom watching the people as a part of a play. It was as if a stage where the drama was performed and I was the silent spectator and the only audience.1

Amidst the members of the classroom I could see every one enjoy the run behind the paper. I thought, what all is the worth of the paper that they ran behind it? There must be something behind this thin papyrus sheet that nobody wanted to lose it. Instantly I picked up a paper and found that it belonged to my teacher and he wrote in it the truth:2

'Paper is a finest inventions that shapes the treasures of the future.'3

I stood up went to my teacher and said, 'Sir, this is the future of your part of the world.' He said, 'son, where is your future?'I said, 'I have secured my future in the bound notebook, I have safeguarded it from the wind.'4

The teacher then said, 'I wondered about you, that you did not run after your future, I risked my future which was safeguarded by you, son you secured the future of today and tomorrow.'5

Do not wonder about the name of that teacher for he is the teacher for every soul, sincerely his name is EXPERIENCE.

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Experience

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  • Indistrict Cullen
    February 18

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    This was very nicely written, I especially enjoyed the ending However, it was rather difficult to read because of, as I believe they're called, semantic errors. A lot of your wording was awkward. For an example of what I mean, look below:

    One late afternoon, it was all set for me to have a great lecture at the college. The gusty wind escaped the windows and blew all the papers away, behind which all the members of the class ran to catch. I was there in the classroom watching the people as a part of a play. It was as if a stage where the drama was performed and I was the silent spectator and the only audience.

    This was the most difficult for me to read. I would suggest revising it to something like this:

    One late afternoon, I was set to enjoy a great lecture at college, but the gusty wind that entered through the open windows blew away all the students' papers. They all ran to catch them while I sat there, watching them as if they were a playing parts in a play, and I was the silent spectator - the only audience.

    I hope you don't mind my asking, but is English your natural language? Because your writing seems to suggest otherwise. Then again, it's not my natural language either, so I am not the best judge

    Either way, I really liked the message behind this.

  • crimsondew
    February 14
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    A very interesting piece her..I like the metaphor of paper used...however there could be a few added punctuations..

    The gusty wind escaped the windows and blew all the papers away, behind which all the members of the class ran to catch.

    I 'have' safeguarded it from the wind.

    Perhaps in the first line..
    it was all set for ...'it' can be replaced by 'everything'
    Hope you find these useful...
    A very good attempt here..