Valentine's day

Valentine's day is the day I fear the most1

It does nothing, but bring me pain.2

You said you loved me3

And I was dumb enough to believe you.4

You said you'll never leave5

And I believed that too.6

How could you do that?7

To me of all people.8

I trusted you.9

And now my trust is gone.10

I'm done listening to all your lies.11

I'm done12

We're through 13

But my heart still aches when I think of you.

Author notes

This is my first time writing a poem, so if it's bad don't judge me that much. I did my best.

Tell me what you think.

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Windsong1041
    February 15, 2009
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    Good job!!!

    For your first poem, that was rather nice. I agree with Lady Pixie: It flowed very well. Bravo!!!


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    February 14, 2009

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    good job writing this. It flowed and paced decently- seemed a little cliched at times, but for your first time writing a poem, I think you did good


  • LoveGo13
    February 14, 2009

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    Excellent

    This is short, but it really expresses your point. There's only one point in the story where I think that you could rethink your wording. In line 5, 'You said you'll never leave,' I think that 'you'll' could be changed into 'you'd' for a better sounding line.
    You opened this poem well, and you did a good job at wrapping it up. I liked how you kept repeating your point over and over in the middle.
    You did a good job on this poem.


  • citcat
    February 14, 2009
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    OMG I LOVED IT
    it was sooo good and so many people would be able to relate to that. it flowed really well and it had good emotions. well done!

1 - 5 of 5