Green dreams turn into nightmares1
Going insane while black cat stares2
Traveling in a chair, I know where I am at3
A sudden vibration I felt, the world is really flat4
I once felt artificial, before I never felt so alive5
A contributor to society, this town is a beehive6
Thoughts that sped through my head7
A talk with Geneva, even though she is dead8
I promise I will say no,9
So this feeling of regret will go,10
Read me one more book while I recover,11
Miss Geneva I will never forget my dear great grandmother.12
Author notes
a vision of my late great grandmother
mmm...
Comments
-
Wow, nice!
This was great to read, and the rhyming was perfect. That's such a great thing, to write about your late great grandmother...very heart-warming.
This poem has originality and is definitely interesting.
This should inspire some people to write more like this, instead of poems about someone who broke your heart or suicide(Seriously, those topics are overrated).
Spectacular write.(:
-
hmm well it's something. It's a little rough but we can work with that. the lines are a little too long so the rhyme is lost a little. Also, it seems like you threw words together for fun. You need to work emotions into it more. Some lines make it seem like they're there for the sole purpose of rhyming, such as the 10th line. Also, the 2nd line is like the rhyming word was prechosen and you had to work with it, rather than it work for you.
Anyways keep writing!
Adding your comment:
