That Lake

Dinky misfits screaming1

on the edge of the lake,2

it's like a lot of starlit bunches3

of clovers that hold fast4

to the ground,5

and below,6

me,7

rhinoceros,8

clouds of dust9

abound me10

in my11

truest state12

and I'd stand13

at that lake14

and let them look at me,15

it was too dark16

to take pictures,17

so I am only known from story,18

the listener's eyes glowing19

with the light of imagination,20

and the number seven21

comes to mind,22

written on a ribbon,23

floats away24

in a breeze25

What did you think? Please comment!

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • lost in illusion87
    January 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    very creative and orginial defintly something to get u thinking awesome job man signed rj

  • InvisibleMan silver member
    June 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sure I would have gotten it but touchof1der stole my light bulb....leaving me standing here in the dark, clueless (now I know how SHE usually feels!).

  • Slaton
    June 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    interesting

    Its abstract maybe a bit too much so. I get an idea of possibly nudity and embarassment but not definitely. It was picturesque how you painted the scene and carried us into the scene. A moonlight swim anyone seven length or amount? cannot tell had bits of humor no doubt. Fuzzy but definitely an interesting attempt.

  • vertigo beat
    June 6, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    is this supposed to be about a lake? i am really lost....SORRY!!! but i'm not az smart as most people, lolx...but i would highly appreciate it if you can explain this poem a bit, good luck in the contest, KEEP WRITING!!!
    Scarce Bliss
    ~^~Pure~^~

  • Touchof1der
    June 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I was a little slow on the uptake with this one. At first I didn't get it but then I came back to it and read it again and it was a light bulb finally clicked on. I like the creativity I am seeing. Things that I would not have expected people to choose. Great job! Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
    ♥ Kimberly

1 - 5 of 5