Spanish Blues

I seek enlightenment in mountains,1

While drinking from mystical fountains, 2

& may I forever find youth3

I believe the conquistadors found the truth,4

Traveling throughout America’s south,5

Mumbling romantic tales from their mouth,6

Which they reported to crowns & their kings,7

And were blessed by their golden rings.8

Their beliefs were slightly radical,9

But isn’t that life, wishing for the magical.10

Living by ancient holy text &11

Constantly praying, waiting for what’s next.12

Its hard with eyes to believe,13

To go to point of views to attempt to conceive14

Thoughts of goodness & prayer,15

Although time is god & he will be our slayer16

Or perhaps he is the father of our soul’s entities17

Who will lead the exodus to golden cities

Did you enjoy it?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • sodancewithsoda silver member
    March 9

    Edit | Reply

    Returning a favor

    I don't think I have to be fully Spanish (my dad has Spanish lineage) to grasp the beauty of your poem. I salute you for your rhyming - because you made it work in your poem (Some people tend to focus too much on the rhyming, it takes away from the impact of their work). Yours is different. It gave me this.. "classic" feel. Like King David's book of Psalms (I don't think all of it rhymes, but meh, you get what I mean).

    One little thing though:
    Traveling throughout America’s south

    Mumbling romantic tales from their mouth
    You have "their" and then mouth... it could be mouths?
    But the rhyme will be broken... you possibly substitute their with "its or his or her" (Is America masculine? My country tends to be written off as female).

    But this is just a suggestion Your poem is amazing still anyway.

    Thanks for sharing this with SW ^_^


  • Britty1995
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    Oh...wow. This was pretty good. I just have to mention one thing: "god" is supposed to be "God". Good work. Keep going with your writing.