Part 11
I was sleeping when the call came. I only remember because I was really enjoying this dream. The arms that were wrapped around me were strong and secure, unlike the ones in the future, but I didn't know that yet.2
Those arms really put a smile on my face. But that's getting off track.3
The call came and instead of picking it up I pushed my alarm clock onto the floor. When this failed to make the annoying noise go away, I cracked open an eye and noticed my phone doing it's pretty light show. I watched as purple turned into blue, then red and so on down the rainbow. I had bought it for this reason. I sometimes have a hard time waking. The lights help focus me.4
As soon as I grabbed the handset the light show stopped and the room was plunged into darkness again. "Hello?" I mumbled, fighting to keep my eyes open.5
Dead silence radiated from the other end. I took the phone away from my ear, getting the antenna knotted in my hair, to see if it was on. It was.6
"Hello?" I tried again, my voice clearer.7
"End deal, Raisa." Then a dial tone.8
I sighed and hung up. I threw myself back on the pillow before pushing my warm covers off my nude body. Padding to the end of the bed, I put on a tight black tank top and pulled over a black hoodie with a C embroidered over my left breast. This hoodie got me in places a normal twenty-something girl wouldn't be permitted to enter. Next, black jeans with black all-weather boots.9
All the while I was wondering what I would be walking into. The last one had been a disaster. No way that could be staged as a natural death.10
I pulled my shoulder length strawberry blond hair into a ponytail as I walked to the door. Everything I needed was waiting in the car below.11
My hand slid down the gray granite counter-top, feeling the tiny bumps, before swiping up my car keys and heading out the door.12
The hallway was empty, but what did I expect? It was falling just past two in the morning. The quiet buzz of the sconce lights serenaded me as I swiftly walked the carpeted floor. Plant leaves swayed as I hurried to the elevators.13
I hated the elevators. They always smelled of lemons, vomit and day old sweat. I caught myself in the glass doors wrinkling my nose at the smell. Time also seemed to creep, like a slow worm, when I rode them. At last the bell dinged and as soon as the doors were opened far for me to slip through, I did. 14
Waiting in slot two-hundred and fifty-five was my reliable, but somewhat beat-up white Corolla. Dependable, without standing out in a crowd, my Toyota was the best. I just wished the darn radio would stay were I programmed it to. I patted her affectionately before sliding in the driver's seat. 15
"Wonder what music I'll be listening to this dark and eerie morning?" I asked myself in the silence of the parking lot. 16
I checked to see if my Bag of Tricks or BOTS was stocked before starting the car. BOTS was full of everything I would need, including money if I needed to get away. Directions for the job were clearly written on my pad of paper I kept on the passenger seat.17
I had always wondered who was fast enough to write the address on the paper in a locked car. I probably always will.18
Getting to the site wasn't difficult. I'd seen the name a couple million times when reading the newspaper. Mr. and Mrs. Grossman, Carter and Lily. Mr. Carter Grossman had made his fortune in real estate in the early 2000's, when the market was at its best. Lily Ann Fossen had married well. Both in their mid-forty's. Enough said.19
Apparently someone didn't like the wealthy couple. A hit gone bad. That's why I had been called. No one called me to show me they'd done good.20
The Grossman's penthouse was, of course, on the east side. The upscale side of town. Beautiful people, gorgeous places of residents.2021
Finding it wasn't hard. I'd been thinking about upgrading and Wall Avenue looked like a good enough place. As if I could really afford it. I sighed, but a girl can dream.22
The job was good. Good pay, great benefits. No one tried to kill me, no one ever took notice off me. Maybe that's why I felt reluctant as I walked through the lobby.23
The doorman was sleeping. His snores were like a small chainsaw in the distance. The lobby was full of plants. Big leafy potted foliage sprang up from urns, surrounded by smaller ferns. Their long arms swung with my passage.24
I should have felt relieved as the doors of the elevator closed in front of me, but even the cold walls couldn't squelch my nervousness.25
My only comforting item was my BOTS hanging form my hand. Everything I needed was at my fingertips, well almost. Sometimes I had to search for the item.26
So with my Bag of Tricks at my side, the doors closed and I had only to do my magic. Magic being a loose term. I had acquired my 'magic' by means of seduction and trickery. There really was no other truthful way of putting it. I had literally slept my way to the key.27
The feeling of disgust washed over me as I slipped the deceptive key into the penthouse slot and waited for the car to start moving.28
The memory of the acquisition of the key was never easy, but each time I used it I made myself remember. After being introduced into the 'club', I had been given a long and drawn out training. As if Closing would be hard. I'd been cleaning for people anyways, just not to this extreme.29
Kale Gardener had been my instructor. Wide shoulders V'd into sturdy hips that made every woman lick her lips and say yum. He was one man that got under your skin and stuck like a burr to a dog's leg. Strong willed with deep, wishing-well brown eyes, ones you could emerse yourself in and not come up for air.30
He'd not fooled me, at least that's what I keep telling myself. I had taken him for a ride, not the other way around. I was the one he sought and I played hard to get. Only giving in when I knew he would give me what I wanted, needed.31
I'm not beautiful, I know that. I'm pretty, that I can admit, but if I am persistent I can get what I want or need. I needed that key. Not all closers are given one. I don't know why, they just aren't. I knew that if I were to make this job work I was one of those that needed it.32
So here I was riding the penthouse elevator up to an assassination gone wrong. This is where my job started.33
Part 234
The apartment was a mess. The smell of gunpowder was heavy in the air, almost like after a fireworks display. My nose burned and I wrinkled it. There was something sad about walking through a dead person’s apartment. It always reminded me of my gramz’s house. My mom and I had the unfortunate job of cleaning out her house. I remembered my mom’s muffled sobs and how gramz’s perfume was everywhere. It was as if she was still there. Every once in a while I could swear I could still hear my mom’s cries when I was working. 35
First things first, I searched my BOT for gloves and full body suit. These things were wonderful. My hair and any other DNA particle would be contained within these lightweight plastic babies. I would have bought stock in the company that had manufactured these suits if they would have let me. I put the gloves on with a snap that echoed through the empty apartment.36
The penthouse amazed me. I was expecting elegance- expansive paintings and curios. What I found was comforting wood furniture. Dark wood with scrollwork, deep colors of mahogany browns mixed with royal purple and gold made up the fabrics and enhanced by plain white walls. Bay windows that reached from floor to ceiling, looked out over early morning sun. I swiftly strode over and closed the thick gold fabric, for privacy. Although it didn’t seem possible that anyone could see in here.37
Next was assessing the condition of the bodies. I forced myself to walk past the overturned loveseat and follow the hall to the bedroom, there I found Mr. and Mrs. Grossman.38
Lily Ann was where she was supposed to be, lying on the bed, curled up on her side, like she was sleeping. At least the assassin got that much right. Her short blonde hair was perfect, as if she had just stepped out of the salon.39
Along with the directions to the site, came the instructions on how the job was to be set. This was a homicide/suicide situation. Mr. Grossman had found a note from his wife’s lover. He was distressed and angered. Then pulling out the .38 revolver he’d bought for protection last fall, he shot Lily while she slept. Then he turned the gun on himself. Thus the murder/suicide.40
Easy, right? Some how our “man” was surprised. I could just imagine what had happened. Maybe Mr. Grossman wasn’t sleeping. Maybe he was stronger then the assassin. So I was called. I reached up and scratched the back of my head through the hood in frustration.41
First to position Carter’s body. He had managed to get to the bathroom. The floor was a complete mess. I had to try to get most of his blood contained, so that I could make the scene believable by having the blood around the body. The hard part was getting the blood and brain matter to splatter on the wall beside the bed to make it look like he had offed himself right there instead of getting killed in the bathroom. I guessed the Company owned a lab where all my neat little gadgets were manufactured. I even had this little bottle that held a serum that would halt the blood from congealing. A couple of drops of this and the magic begin, if only for a while, undetectable to most tests. That was one my favorites.42
Another was the turkey baster. Yeah, you read that right, turkey baster. It’s great for blood splatter.43
My bangs had fallen in my eyes as I lifted the body up. I had to grab him from behind, with my forearms under his armpits. What struck me as odd was that his heels left lines in the carpet. Dragging him right under my nose made the smell of copper and gunpowder more overpowering. 44
After I had Carter positioned I started on the bathroom. As I wiped up blood, the little that was left, I caught myself revisiting how I had gotten the job as Closer. 45
I hadn’t been wealthy or poor. I was average, middle class. My father had been a salesman for a sporting goods store, the only one in our small town. He was a bear of a man, barrel chested with a dark beard and white teeth flashing under his mustache. My dad was a good salesman. He laughed easily and often.46
Mom was a stay-at-home mom, and it drove me crazy. She was over-protective, and I didn’t understand what my dad was doing with her. I still don’t. By the time I was fourteen, I spent nearly no time at home. My friends were more my style. They had parents that worked.47
It just so happened that I had been out prowling around the neighborhood, looking for some friend's that were supposed to meet me, when I noticed a strange car parked in front of a friends. I sneaked up to the window,stepping over the rock border and looked between the partly closed curtains.48
I watch in horror as my friend's parent were murdered. Yeah, so they had been the local drug dealers. So they were basically bad people. It was still wrong to take another’s life.49
After I witnessed the ‘execution’, I stumbled back and fell over the decorative rock border. Hearing the commotion, the assassin raced outside to find me limping towards the trees.50
She captured me and was about to kill me when the black masked female received a phone call. After a few clipped responses she hung up and hauled me into the strange car.51
I found myself, a little later, sitting on a hard, red chair in a nondescript room. Nothing to see but gray cinder blocks for the walls, the chair I was sitting on and the bright overhead light.52
I wasn't sure why they didn’t just get rid of me. It would have been easy. My parents didn’t know where I was. All Sunsaray would ever tell me afterward was “They liked your fire.” Guess my answers were acceptable.53
They didn’t let me go home right away. That worried me for a time. Even though I wasn’t on the best of terms with my parents I still didn’t want them to worry. I still had school and friends. What would they think?54
Sunsaray was my official contact. She actually went to my house, and talked to my parents. She gave them some song and dance about me bring questioned by government official about the recent disappearance of the town’s drug dealers, my friend's parents. As soon as they heard government official they stopped asking questions and demanded I have a lawyer. Sunsaray assured them I already had representation and that I would call them soon. They bought it, the poor dears.55
Noise from outside the penthouse apartment brought me back to the present. I couldn’t imagine who was out there.56
Part 357
The bedroom didn’t have windows on the street side, so I ran out to the living room to the floor to ceiling windows. From there I looked to the street. Even before I saw the ground, the red of the lights bounced off the front of the building facing the penthouse. It reminded me of the time I had driven by a car crash on the highway. The reds and blues blended together as the shadows danced in a macabre dance with strobe lights.58
I froze. Never had I been faced with this situation. I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I have stayed and explained? Or hide and hope they don’t find me?59
My best bet was to run, but run in a penthouse? Where would I run?60
I remembered a maintained garden patio off the dining room. This was placed so that dinner guests could soak up the skyline and appreciate the city below. 61
I sprinted back to the bathroom to retrieve my BOT and hoped I hadn’t left anything of importance behind. 62
When I opened the French doors my breath caught in my throat. It was amazing. Tall orange and lemon trees reached up to the skyline. The sun was just breaking and the rays highlighted the mature leaves a bright jungle green.63
Below these fruit trees were Persian blue butterfly bushes. The blooms touched the lowest limbs and swayed in the light breeze. Path of pea rocks meandered between well-tended flowerbeds. A riot of colors assaulted my eyes even in the gray of dawn. I could hear the laughter of a fountain off to my left as I jogged down the middle path.64
When I felt I was far enough from the penthouse, I crouched down behind a magenta butterfly bush to wait it out. I couldn’t understand who had called the police early. I should have had two or three hours until the cook or maid showed up for work. It would be hours before the police left and hiding from them would seriously stress me out.65
The bush I was hiding behind gave off a light sweet fragrance that reminded me of simpler times. Outside my parents’ home, we had a similar bush. I remember sitting with mom watching the butterflies land and take off.66
I shook off the memory and peered through the leggy limbs. Movement near the window caught my attention and I watched as a uniformed officer slid open the privacy curtain I had closed when I first entered the place. I thought it odd that a lowly beat cop would mess with a crime scene, but I had no time to wonder. He was moving through the apartment. I watched as his shadow moved across the bay windows towards the hall.67
I waited a moment before heading further into the garden. My path ended at a small grotto and I had to push my way through miniature willow trees, artfully pruned to give shade at the edge of the pond.68
I did realize that the further I made my way in the garden the closer I was getting to the edge of the penthouse building. What I was going to do when I got there, I had no idea.69
I did make it to the edge of the garden and was looking for a way down, when my cell phone rang. That was very rude of it at that moment. I was peering through the hedges that border the garden when it happened. I held my breath and quickly turned it off. I didn’t even look at the number. I couldn’t imagine who it would be, but thought it was another job, since it was still late or early, depending on who you talked with.70
I pleaded to the Almighty above that the man inside hadn’t heard the phone ring. ‘I’m a Bitch’ wasn’t a tone you could ignore. I stood listening for yells or footfalls.71
After a couple of minutes I started to take a deep breath of relief when I heard the door open. I froze. I started gasping for breath. My heart rapidly beat in my chest as beads of sweat formed under my hairline. The plastic suit chafed against my bare arms.72
Below me, hanging off the building, was a flimsy drainpipe leading to the floor beneath the penthouse. The opening hooked into the drainage hole under a mature hedge. It looked like a bendy straw reaching down in a cup. I squeezed it and felt it give. This was not my best plan, but the only one I could come up with in this critical time.73
I slung my BOTS over one shoulder and proceeded to get a firm grip on the pipe. I felt it sway as I put my whole weight on the first rung holding it to the wall. I held my breath as I slipped down, hand over hand. My palms were sweaty under the latex gloves and it made my grip unstable. It was hard to hold on with my knees in the suit but I managed to make it to the apartment below.74
My legs were unsteady on the ledge, but I was determined to escape. Two doves cooed on the windowsill as I approached and they took flight when I got close.75
The room beyond was dark. The occupants were obviously still asleep. With gloves still on I pressed my hands flat on the glass and pushed up. I had figured being this high up with a doorman, people would be lax on security. The window slid soundlessly up.76
When there was enough room I wiggled my way in. I landed face down as quietly as I could, but still made a light thud. It was a good thing the tenants hadn’t put anything in front of the window or there would have been a bigger crash.77
The apartment was clean and the furniture simple. I scooted my way around a floral print sofa and the glow of the massive fish aquarium.78
I almost stopped to admire the tank. The vibrantly colored fish darted in and around rock formations, with anemones and sea grass swayed with the current. I took this in at a glance as I continued to make my way to the other side of the room. In a matter of minutes I was down the hall and out the door.79
I made it to the elevators, passing three other quiet doors and a variety of potted plants. My feet were silent on the patterned carpet.80
In the elevator I quickly tore off my suit and thought about how I was going to get by the doorman. I hoped luck was with me and he had accompanied the cop up to the penthouse.81
I needed to get to my car. Only then would I feel safe enough to call Sunsaray and report. I bounced on the balls of my feet as I silently willed the lighted number’s to move faster.82
I decided that going out the front door was a bad idea. There was a hole in the bottom of my stomach. I knew I was getting anxious. I kept biting my cheek to keep from yelling at the elevator.83
I couldn’t stop the car from opening the doors at the lobby, the button had already been pushed, but I hit the Parking button anyways. That was where I needed to get off. I could sneak around, using the shadows and hopefully leave the parking garage undetected. At least that was the plan. In training I had never paid attention to escape plans. I didn’t think I would ever need them.84
Now I needed them. I raced through my memory for relative scenarios and all I could come up with was staying to the shadows or play like I belonged in the building. The second scene didn’t sound so bad. If I looked liked I belonged then I would only be looked over briefly.85
I decided my best bet would be to stick to the shadows until that was no longer feasible. Then act like I was on my way to an early morning meeting or trip.86
The lighted numbers approached one rapidly as I studied the interior of the elevator. Like all elevators, this one had four walls, a ceiling and a floor. Buttons dominated on the right side of the door wall. A sign reading the weight capacity was on the left. Above me was the escape hatch or emergency door. When the elevator stopped at the lobby I would have to hide myself. The escape hatch was the logical choice, but it was also the obvious one. I just hope the doorman wasn’t very curious. 87
As the old saying goes ‘Curiosity killed the cat’, I’m afraid that’s what would happen if the doorman got too nosey. Killing wasn’t my thing, but I was trained for it if it came down to it. So far I’d never had to resort to violence, but there’s a first time for everything.88
As the light passed between floors one and two I leaped up pushing the hatch over. Once that was done I threw my BOTS through the hole, then wiggled through yet another tight space.89
I heard the bell ring as I noiselessly slid the hatch door back into place and held my breath as the twin doors opened. I realized I’d been holding my breath a lot tonight. Sweat ran between my shoulder blades and I wanted to rub up against the elevator shaft to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling.90
I hadn’t shut the hatch door completely, so I had a thin sliver of light to peek through. I watched as the inexperienced doorman shakily searched the elevator car with gun drawn. In all the ‘closing’ I’d done I’d never met a doorman that carried a gun. Jot this down as my first.91
It wasn’t like anyone could really hide in an elevator car, but he was thorough. He checked every corner and then checked them again, as if someone would magically appear. He seemed to be satisfied and showed it by tipping his navy blue hat to the car and strolling away. 92
When the door closed behind him I noticed myself getting lightheaded and took a breath. I would have laughed out loud if I had thought no one would have heard me.93
I landed softly after having thrown my BOT to the floor. The vials were insulated, so there was no chance of breakage. Again, I was on the balls of my feet, waiting.94
It was an eternity before the doors opened at the Parking level. With a quick glance I darted out, keeping to the walls. It didn’t make sense that in a place that so many crimes were committed that the lighting would be crappy, but at the moment I wasn’t going to think to hard about it.95
During the time I rode down on the elevator another police car had to have shown up. I came to this conclusion because two new officers were roaming around the parking garage.96
I had made it half way across the floor when I encountered one. He was peering under a car when I saw him. I made a quick decision and jumped up on a car bumper. I hoped that the car didn’t have an alarm. When no loud alarm sounded I held myself ready to jump off if the officer stood up.97
The garage was fairly warm and the scent of used oil hung on the air. I wondered why an upscale apartment building would allow oil stains on the floor, but quickly dismissed the thought when I saw the officer stand up.98
I landed lightly behind the car and stayed in the shadows. I could see the entrance. The gray of the false dawn had gone and now a soft glow of the sun’s light reflected off the blacktop. 99
Freedom was only a few yards away and relief flooded through me. Only problem was, the shadows stopped before I got there. From my hiding place I searched for the cops. When I didn’t see them I boldly strolled out into the open.100
With every step my confidence soared. I was going to make it into the light. Maybe that was a little over the top, but I felt a religious experience happening at this time. The light beckoned me, called to me like a junkie’s pull to their drug of choice. I heard early morning birds calling to one another and the impatient horn of workers rushing to work.101
Every step brought me closer. The opening yawned widely. My salvation loomed ahead and I only had a couple of feet to go.102
“Hey Miss!” called a voice deeper in the garage.103
I stopped, frozen in the motion of taking a step. Over my shoulder I watched the cop stalk closer to me. Frantically I racked my brain for a plan. No plan came. I realized that I had better run now. It was a flight or fight situation and flying was the best path.104
“Yes, officer? What can I do for you?” I called, while he was still a distance off. I slung my bag over my shoulder. Secured it in my hand and sprinted towards the entrance without waiting for his answer.105
“Stop!” screamed the cop, as he ran after me.106
I didn’t slow down as I rounded the building. My car was parked around the corner and I ran full speed with the policeman trailing behind me.107
I fumbled with my keys before I hit the door, slid in, started the engine and took off like the devil was hot on my ass. I crossed my fingers that the dried mud still hid my license plate number.108
Out the rear view mirror I watched the blue-suited officer grow smaller and fade.109
In a list
A contest entry
- Prologues and Chapter One - Beginnings by Forgotten Anomaly.
1300 points, ended February 19, 91 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Chapter I: Can You Keep Me Reading by Asfand.
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Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Who Do You Work For? MI6? by GuitarShank.
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Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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It's good, but there are a few things here that bug me.
It isn't directly stated what the main character's name is. The only indication that it *might* be Raisa are the title and the line "End deal, Raisa." Then again, it could just be a codeword in this situation.
A bit of a smaller thing that I just had to question: Would an apartment building big enough to have a penthouse be without a fire escape? It just seems odd that she would take the flimsy drainpipe instead of what's essentially a stairway to freedom. This is just based on my own experience though, so I may be wrong.
Finally, your description is very strong. You're good at painting the scene for the reader. But there are times where you should ease up on it. For instance, when she's frantically trying to get away from the cop, she goes out into the garden and she's amazed at the orange and lemon trees and then you go into a bit more description on that. It just doesn't seem right because it comes off as, "Gotta run! Gotta run! Oooooh... pretty!"
It's just the way I see it.
Like I said, the story is interesting, and your writing is strong. These are just a few of the things I found.
Good luck!
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You've got valid points and someone brought up the over description of the garden and such. As for the fire escape, I guess I just didn't think about that

Thanks for bring those up and I will go through this and see what I can do
Again thanks
Brooke
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Interesting idea. I like the carefree narrative too.
God job on this one .... especially your eye for detail ... nicely done!
Good luck!
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Thanks Asfand. Glad you enjoyed.
Thanks for taking the time to read it
Brooke
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You write very well with a strong narative and wonderful descriptions of what's going on around you. I like the idea and the story. Sorry it took so long to get this read. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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I'm just glad you read it. Thanks
Brooke
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1 - 6 of 6





