The Fight

Andraia bit her lip, eyes never leaving her opponent. She was a warrior and she was NOT going to give up. She had worked too hard and too long. Her life had been worthless up to now; she wasn't going to remain that way. She knew now that she was worth something. He had taught her that and she would not let him down. 1

Keep your gravity centered and low. Never take your eyes off your opponent even if it's to wipe sweat off your brow. You never look away. Some people, all they need is that split second and you are dead.2

His voice echoed in Andraia's head. Andraia nodded to herself.3

"You might as well give up girlie." The man in front of her was large, his muscles clearly visible and defined even through the vest he wore. He had spikes on his wrist guards and a thick wooden club hung from his belt. His fists were large and meaty but Andraia could easily see there was not an ounce of fat on the man. His bald head gleamed, reflecting the torchlight and throwing his face into shadows.4

"I am not giving up," she pushed through gritted teeth. Her blue hair was held back from her face by a leather thong and her green eyes glinted almost manaically. 5

The man shrugged and swung his club. Andraia ducked away from the assault, knowing that she would have to stay one step ahead if she was to stay alive. The club crashed down and Andraia just managed to keep from wincing knowing that the solid wood could easily split her skull. Her own footwork brought her behind the guard and she swung with her staff. 6

The guard however for all that he was large, was not slow. Hardly before Andraia could blink, he had moved away and was coming at her again. Andraia just managed to duck but the club caught her shoulder. She gasped in pain, but bit her lip before the exclamation could get past her lips. Still, she saw the guard's flash of white teeth. 7

"That hurt girl?" he asked.8

Andraia shook her head even though she could feel the throbbing in her shoulder.9

"Well this will," and before Andraia could move, he was right there. She just managed to bring her staff up and catch the blow but the effort shook her whole body, leaving her arms tingling.10

Kicking out with a leg, Andraia managed to hook hers behind the large man's and, with a yank, she used his weight and momentum against him. 11

He fell hard on the cobblestones but struck out, catching Andraia's knee. Andraia fell as well and in seconds he was upon her. 12

Desperately trying to protect her face Andraia raised her fists, pushing and kicking out blindly. The man pulled her to her feet, twisting her arm behind her and pushing her against the wall of the alley. "Give up?" he asked, increasing the pressure on Andraia's arm.13

Andraia shook her head, biting her lip against the pain. "I--am--not--giving--up," she said, managing to wrench her arm out of his grasp. Turning, there was a wild look in her eye and the guard couldn't help for a moment falling back a step because for a second there was no girl there anymore. In her place was a women, a warrior, a goddess. Green eyes flashing, blue hair falling in layers out of the thong, teeth bared in a snarl....14

Andraia felt strength filling her body and knowledge pouring in. Her staff flashed out and, faster than the guard could see, got under his defenses. It pushed him in the chest and, with force greater than Andraia had beat him to the ground. Her staff was at his throat, and she tossed her hair out of her face, eyes blazing and breathing heavily. It had taken less than five seconds and yet it seemed longer and at the same time, shorter. The man looked up, his eyes wide and fearful. This creature was not a girl; he did not know what she was and he did not want to know. 15

With a strangled noise, the guard pushed her staff away from his face and ran, feet slapping on the cobblestoned street.16

Andraia stood back, still breathing heavily and then smiled. She had won. She had not let him down and she would not.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Myryca
    February 10

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    Great level of description. The beginning was attention grabbing and made me want to keep reading.

    Your action, however, was a tad slow. Simply because your sentences were somewhat passive and lengthy. Don't get me wrong, they were good sentences (you write well) but they weren't action sentences. Action sentences are short, active and snappy.

    Example: Instead of "Andraia ducked away from the assault, knowing that she would have to stay one step ahead if she was to stay alive..." etc, try: "Andraia ducked. She'd have to stay one step ahead just to stay alive. The club crashed down. She winced. The solid wood could have easily split her skull. She stepped behind the guard and swung her staff."

    Interesting idea of Andraia being something more than what she appears. I quite like that. I kind of wish there was more backstory to explain why she was fighting a guard (and a guard to what) and who she was trying not to let down and just what or who she is to instill such fear in a big man like that.

    I felt some of your fight moves weren't all that realistic. I mean, I don't think she could wrench her arm out if it was twisted painfully up behind her back. I don't know how easy it would be for her to kick such a big man's legs out from under him either, especially if he was in a solid fighter's stance which I assumed he was since you didn't say otherwise.

    Ending the fight with the man running away was a nice change from the usual way fights end, in particular because it was due to some powerful change in Andraia.

    Thanks for entering this. You really do write well. Keep it up. I enjoyed reading it.