Wake up.
Get breakfast.
Walk dog.
Shower.
Clean teeth.
Leave for work.
Sit in traffic jam.
Get to work.
Do boring unsatisfying job.
Eat lunch.
Do more unsatisfying work.
Go home.
Sit in traffic jam.
Walk dog.
Cook dinner.
Check emails.
Watch TV.
Go to Bed
And repeat.
Every day, every week, every month, every year, for the rest of your life, until you retire.
This is the life you must lead, this is the life prescribed to you… you, and everyone else.
Those who differ from the norm are hidden away and ignored, forgotten and feared. They are mad, they are dangerous, they are the terrorists and anarchists, they are the bane of civil society, they are psychopaths and they are different.
Difference has become stigmatised, even those who try to avoid conformity conform, trends and herd mentality infiltrate every aspect of life.
This is everything that we have been led to believe, and this is what the first free man discovered was a lie.
Author notes
A begining to another story I hope to work on, about a man who realises that the normal every day life isn't for him. Partialy inspired by Neitszche's theory of Philosophers of the Future and Ubermen, partialy inspired by the Movie Fight Club, and a lot to do with my own discontent with normality.
Is the title any good, and would you read on?
Comments
-
Oh, wow. Daily routine. Good job! I liked this and it was so funny! lol! Good job! Keep it up!
-
Good work describing the "daily routine" - the list-like format you used made it feel all the more prescribed and monotonous, which was a great touch. The longer sentences at the end feel a bit more awkward at times; a few commas tossed in here and there might make them flow a bit better. For instance, in the line that begins "This is the life you must lead," adding a comma after the "you" that follows the ellipses might help a little. The next line ("Those who differ") feels like it could use some work as well; I don't think you'd want to cut it out, as it's important to your central idea, but look over this one again, see if you can rephrase it at all, or edit the punctuation in any way.
All in all, though, nice start to what looks to be an interesting story. You clearly have some interesting thoughts to share and I look forward to seeing where this narrative goes =) Title seems fine to me, and I'll definitely read on if you decide to post more.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
-
-
Thanks for the help, I've edited it a little, and will probably add some more to it on friday night.
-
Adding your comment:
