Words; how they hurt so badly (poem)

Her heart was sweet, her eyes were kind
She kept secrets and told no lies
She had many friends that helped her out
And she helped them up when they were down 1

One day at school her friend called her fat
She said it so loud that everyone laughed
Everyone turned on her and called her a dweeb
"Please, I've had enough" she would beg and plead 2

She ran home crying that very cold day
Then she ran to the bathroom and grabbed a blade
She pressed it harshly against her wrist
And blood poured rapidly down her skin 3

The next Monday she came to school with scars
The kids in class saw and went on being harsh
They called her big, fat, large, and wide
She wanted to yell but she kept it all inside 4

This time she walked home and decided for fun
She'd slice her legs in rows, one by one
She lost her anger, she lost her blood
She lost her mind, just cause it "felt good" 5

Soon she stopped eating, skipping every other meal
Her parents never knew, she kept her lips sealed
She became skinny, pale, bony, and thinner
She threw up her breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner 6

One day she was bored so she got her hands on drugs to smoke
She blew through her mouth and got a dry throat
She looked around and everything became dark
So she closed her eyes and fell apart 7

She fainted that day but no one heard her scream
Her dad saw her on the floor like it was a bad dream
She was rushed to the hospital in an hour or so
And her parents whispered and yelled "please don't go!" 8

She just laid there on the hospital bed
Cuts on her wrists and a messed up head
Her parents by her side crying endlessly
But she just looked upon them cluelessly 9

She slit her wrists, she slit her legs
She threw up her food every night before bed
She took some drugs, "it was better than a knife"
She wasted her money, her time, and her life 10

Her heart once was sweet, her eyes once were kind
Until a single word mutilated her mind
Her friends hoped it wasn't something they said
Cause a few days later, they found out she was dead11

Author notes

I just wrote this because i have read a heap of storys about eating disorders and how words affect people so i decided to do a poem about it.

it didnt take that long so its not the best i could do.
thanks for reading. please comment!!

twilight
username: Citcat
Happy Days

my fav number is 8, 7 is SunshineDancer423's favorite number.
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Comments

1 - 55 of 55

  • Raining.Fire
    September 7

    Edit | Reply
    wow! That was amazing, and really good for you just writing it fast and it not being the best you could do, lolz. Wonderful poem, GReat job!!!!


  • andhearts. ox
    July 19
    Edit | Reply
    Well done, a good poem


  • silent--scream
    July 14
    Edit | Reply
    Amazing.


  • Le Masquerade silver member
    July 14

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    WoW this was full of meaning and emotions! I loved it and hope to read more of your work thanx for entering my competition and welcome to the finalist list!


  • Silenced Lullaby
    July 9

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    Very touching. The sad part is it's all possible, too. Things like this happen every day. Good writing. Easy to follow. Nice work.


  • Willowleaf-
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    That was very very good, but sad. I understand how this poem has got so many trophies. Congratulations!

  • lalala69
    July 6
    Edit | Reply
    This was good. I was able to relate. Not to sound bad or anyhting, but I will admit to having tried some of that stuff before. The one thing that got to me about this poem was that it started to rhyme and create a rhythm, then it went off to not doing either of those things, then it went back to having those things again. Otherwise, good work and thank you for entering!


  • Intoxica
    July 6
    Edit | Reply

    OOPS!

    Sorry, I thought this was a story in my contest and then I got all confused...I must have clicked on the wrong "next in this contest" link...
    Please disregard the first comment i made.
    Otherwise, good work!
    I think this has a strong moral.


  • Intoxica
    July 6
    Edit | Reply
    I did like the end where there is a repeat of the first few lines, though...

  • Intoxica
    July 6

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    Very touching...and an issue that may affect almost every girl in her lifetime...
    But I'm afraid it didn't quite suit the contest theme...
    But hey, that's okay! It seems to have won an honourable place in a lot of contests anyway. What's one rejection, right?
    Just don't go cutting yourself over it...lol


  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    hhaha lol love it!


  • try2changeme
    June 23
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    great. deep. and it was true.


  • SCREAMxTOxxBExHEARD
    June 10
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    I liked this even though it was sad, but that's what makes it interesting.


  • trekkergirl
    May 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sadly written poem. It flowed well though and you used imagery and emotion very well. Also, you followed the rule that it must have won Gold. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering this into my contest.


  • Violette silver member
    May 17

    Edit | Reply

    no wonder...

    you have won so many trophies my friend. That was utterly superb. You are in my finalists guaranteed. So true, words are indeed are powerful thing

  • DeathByChocolate
    May 6
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    Thats so sad, and true. Words do hurt, badly sometimes. Good job!
    Good luck in those contests!


  • HaydenLautner
    April 22

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    I have read this poem so many times and it still gets to me. Thank you for entering my contest, and good luck


  • WhiteHorse17
    March 30

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    Wow

    This was so touching (in a sad way.) It's so heartfelt and deep. Good job, and thanx for entering the contest.


  • Keirii
    March 29
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    I love this one!!
    I've read it before but it still got me.
    Great job!!!


  • DogsLookUp silver member
    March 25

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    Wow...that was fantastic. Emotional, sad, heart-wrenching, intense and just...amazing. Nice job Kit


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    March 12

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    Hi!

    I think that this is a very good poem. The meter is off in places and you may be able to fix that. Otherwise, I thought it was very well done.

    Thanks for entering For Members Fourteen Or Under Only.

    Andy


  • Vampiric souls
    March 7

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    Ok that was so well written and so wow! I love the Rhyming and the storyline and everything!!!!! It is so beautiful..
    Thankyou so much for entering!!!
    Souls


  • lavanya
    March 4

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    beautiful poem...not only poem it has nice story too. good job Kit...i liked the way you discribed her ..simple but in meaninful way..and rhymimg is perfect..keep it up hon. good luck.


  • SunshineDancer423
    February 28

    Edit | Reply

    Comment from SD423

    Well, I think you have entered more than one thing in this contest, and I think I asked you to only enter one. So..hmmm..I liked it, it makes you think that there really are people like that out there, and I asked people to maybe be a little humorous, well I can tell you..this wasn't. Still liked it.

    Good Luck!

    SD423


    • citcat
      February 28
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for the trophy, applause and comment. I only entered once in your contest by the way

  • secretpart
    February 27

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    wow-wow-wow!

    This is really amazing! It's not only beautiful, but also quite clever! It all rymes, flows beautfully and tells a story about serious disorders in a easy way. It doesn't sound rushed or corny, the words were fit just right. Amazing work here! Good work!

  • Keirii
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    You really reached down deep and formed a beautiful poem.

    Everything from her thoughts to her actions was portrayed beautifully in this poem, and I really enjoyed reading it.

    I especially like the ending:

    Her voice once was sweet, her eyes once were kind
    Until a single word mutilated her mind
    Her friends hoped it wasn't something they said
    Cause a few days later, they found out she was dead11


    You did an awesome job!!!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • lavanya
    February 23
    Edit | Reply
    Hey lil poetess!
    very sad but touchy poem. in whole poem deep emotions were flowing with rhythem. i was feeling pain while reading it . this is indeed a very good stuff. keep writting dear ,you are good in writting poems.good luck hon.


  • LoveGo13
    February 21
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    It actually is a good story. It didn't have much detail, but it made it all the better. Good work!


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    February 21
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done.
    Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering.
    Brooke


  • SweeneyTodd-girl
    February 19
    Edit | Reply
    This is nice. Shows what just a few mean words can do.


  • Confused-girl
    February 19

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    sorry, i just now got the chance to readd this peom.
    It is amazing! I love it! All of your work is great! Glad that I read the peom and lots of your other work!

  • countrypoet5
    February 16

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    I think this describes how alot of people feel and brings light to a sad situatuion..... im glad i stopped to read it.


  • Cajun.Lullaby
    February 15

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    This is sadly all too real. Well written in that regard. The rhythm is good, but watch out for rhyming patterns. You have words that look similar on paper but are not true rhymes when spoken aloud. Consider revising this; it's an awesome write.


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    February 15

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    hmm.. sadly enough I can relate with eating disorders and cutting as that was once something I dealt with personally. This really hit home for me- and almost made me cry. It flowed and paced well. The rhyming was a little off in some places and agree about tightening it up into stanzas for a better read- but overall, good work at conveying the emotion in this.

  • Writing0Freedom
    February 14

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    I think you should put a lot of the lines close together and seperate it into stanza's because its kinda hard to read through. Its good though- and I think its well written but some of the lines could be tightened so they read with a little more punch. You are a good writer though with talent- Keep writing!
    WritingFree


  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    February 14
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    kool poem i need sum more of them


  • Owen Aero
    February 14
    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful message through great poetry. Nicely done.


  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    February 14
    Edit | Reply

    hm...

    Thank-you for your entry i will be reviewing all of the finalists momentarily!


  • FearedCries
    February 13

    Edit | Reply

    Fantastic

    I love how you didn't just write a random poem. The words in it held meaning and I like that. That is a great poem and the emotion in it makes it what it is.

    beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 3.


  • Alexgia
    February 13

    Edit | Reply

    Very Very Good

    I liked the way it flowed and the meaning of how much mere words can hurt. Having been through the cutting myself I liked the way you described it. Her dying at the end brought the point of the impact mere words have one someone. Great job. I loved it.
    Ria


  • Bernice DeLucchi gold member
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a sad, sad poem! I felt the young girl's pain. However, it does need a little 'tightening' here-and-there.

    line 8 - your tense is incorrect.
    line 15 - i would end the sentence with the word large and put wide in its place.
    Other than that, well-written.


  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    February 11
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    hm...

    WOW THAT WAS GREAT I LUVED IT!!!! U R A FINASLIST

  • shan700
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, completely and utterly blew me away, a reminder to keep our words kind, making us refelect on how one "joke" can cause a person's despair. Well done Thanks for the read


  • bridgieD
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    OMG. that's way.... umm i dont know the word... ???


  • Lachrymose.
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This poem blew me away because it's so pure and holds so much truth to it, despite how tragic it is. It really meant a lot to me because I have experience with starvation, bulimia and cutting. Your writing has gotten really good, keep it up!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Annastones
    February 9
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    Great poem, one people can relate to.
    Sometimes people just don't see what words can do.


  • MrsSpunkRansom
    February 9

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    WONDERFUL!
    I can relate to that poem a lot.
    I like it, the flow of the words work out so flawlessly.
    I would be a nice song to sing.
    It almost made me cry because things like that have happened to me before.
    Great job, keep up the good poems!


  • Rawrr.
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful.
    I loved it. (:
    I undertsand how the girl feels. It's obviously horrible beingcalled something like "fat".


  • Paper.thin.paradox
    February 9

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    AMAZING!! that was quite brave I must say. sometimes people just don't know how much their words hurt so great job!!
    I wish people would stop doing those things and you know what its damn true one word can ruin a life just one action that wasn't thought of before done led to an innocent life being destroyed and wasted
    great job <3

  • HaydenLautner
    February 9
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    This was truly amazing, more people should be like you and raise awereness on these issues that are affecting millions of people.
    Well done, there are no flaws, this was a really great poem!!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • DogsLookUp silver member
    February 9
    Edit | Reply
    My gosh, that was so sad...especially the last lines. It's shocking how name-calling can escelate into the person taking their own life, but sadly this really happens with teenagers. That was so beautifully written and poignant, wonderful job.

    ~ Cheers
    Ink

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