Prelude: Confessions of a writer

I love soundtracks. Ambiance. Interlude. Crescendo. Interlude. Finale. But I am picky, I only adore those that pour elixirs of emotions, so intense that my creativity urges to be splashed out.1

Perhaps you see writers as eccentric cigarette-caffeine addicts whose inspiration depends on their artificial highs? Well, some are. Or the hippie who doodles poetry in pubs? Perhaps so. But for me, I am simply playing a never-ending game entitled "language and emotions."2

Sunny day, replay.3

It was long ago - I was soaking in scarlet sun rays above the monkey bars, another challenge won in playground's realm. But something is missing as sun rays fill me with bursts of innocent happiness - the chemical X to complete Transcendence's solution, the essence that links ethereal thoughts to sunken realities.4

Perhaps that's when you came and played the sonata of signs, ripping the barriers between my Kitchen Sink dramas and stirring emotions.5

*6

9:30 AM - the window is blasted with swirls of wintry winds sweeping cascades of snow onto barren grounds - not exactly work inviting.7

But Manami Konishi's soundtrack "Sunny Day" will be my caffeine today. Perhaps its melodic rhythms remind me of my dreamlike games with words, or perhaps its pounding intensity injects a boost of sheer precision in me as I fix distortions and tears from a series of paintings entitled "language" by a client called "business."8

That flashback was life 10 years ago, when childhood innocence meets words' purity and unleash an unconscious of imaginative thoughts. How I wished I could experience words' naivety again, when bare words express a wholesome philosophy. 9

But that was impossible, for adjectives and templates are invented to polish one's craft of letters, as if inlaying or embellishing them with lacquer. And childhood simplicity has to cease - I work as Marketing Associate for an auction house.10

First email:11

" Siobhan - please complete our online press release for the East Asian collections in the Spring Auction - Evan" (Evan's the Head of Sale, thus Supervisor in other terms)12

Here it goes:13

Colenso's Spring Auction
The Kruger's Collection of Qing Imperial Porcelain
May 20 - 21, 2008 at Four Seasons Hotel, Toronto14

Colenso's Annual Spring Auction proudly brings The Kruger's Collection of Qing Imperial Porcelain in its East Asian sale, with a variety of rare Qing imperial porcelain estimated to be sold at world record prices.15

Mr. Warren and Olivia Kruger are internationally renowned collectors of Chinese Porcelain, with their first purchase dated back in 1978. Mr. Kruger first started collecting as an interest, and eventually acquired many major collections, such as the Tang three-coloured porcelain utensils, Sung imperial white flasks and Ming porcelains for Maritime Trade. This collection features special lots in Qing Kangxi to Qianlong reigns, such as a pair of Qianlong swallow bowls (estimated CAD$5,000,000), Yongzheng famille rose vase (estimated CAD$2,000,000) an Kangxi Dragon Moonflask (CAD$100,000).16

Fast forward:17

Night serenaded its entrance as dark carpets rolled into the sky, and I entered my home office for my nocturnal job. Well, not exactly a job but simply a beautician of words on my writing blog.
The melody of keyboards injects a boost of joy as I assemble and blend words in its mechanism. What am I suppose to do with a request on dissecting the essences of love? 18

La Vie
La Vie En Rose:
a chimera of abstraction19

You brought me a Rose-bed
so freshly pumped with love's perfumes
as if I am your million dollar lottery win20

but they
soon withered:
now a bottle of melted love in thorny structure21

I can't transcend anymore, emotions surpass and fracture my senses as they overwhelm words with fragmented memories of once sweetened love.I no longer remembered the surge of feelings, but what am I to do with my friends' request to publish a collective anthology of feelings? (Why am I being assigned to write the love part?)22

My mind's palette transform into a chaotic playground of distorted thoughts - amour, la vie en rose, Shiina Ringo's La Belle De Sain, chocolat, je t'aime & au revoir, roses - love is a disorganized soundtrack of uncertainties, a cosmos that venture beyond my senses..23

"But Siobhan, you have to do it, you can capture that abstract essence of love like most of your stories!" - my fellow online poet voiced.24

"Yeah, we assigned everyone to the best of their roles, and you are the emotional confession specialist, just sprinkle it with good vocab." - my encouraging poetry family replied.25

I listened to Sunny Day - third time, it's one of those captivating songs, perhaps because I can't resist Takeshi Kaneshiro's looks, or perhaps because I am in a paradoxic writing realm with my pragmatic self infused with a passion for my words..26

Perhaps..perhaps I will just write that emotional confessions and find my Sunny Day.