Vexed Schism (Chapter#13)

Chris didn’t go to school the next day, saying he was sick and wouldn’t be able to concentrate. Anne came up several times to ask him if he needed any help or offer him some soup to make he feel better, but he only refused her kindness. After yesterday, it was weird to think he’d be sick, so I knew something else was going on. My first thought was he was avoiding me, like a coward, but that quickly slipped my mind when I realized he wouldn’t run from something like that. He was obviously faking it. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t as great as him at faking it and I was forced to go to school. Pat saw right through my pretend coughing. He said me and Chris’s fighting couldn’t intervene with our school. 1

I didn’t have anyone to talk to except Vincent. He was in an unusually happy mood today and as much as it was pissing me off, I couldn’t be mad. He kept ranting on and on about useless stuff I didn’t care about. I immediately bolted when the bell finally rang and ran home.2

When I got home I wasn’t going to bother with Chris. I’d just about given up on him, but Anne came into the room looking upset and I knew it had to do with him.3

“Would you talk to Chris?” I raised an eyebrow at her. She looked on the verge of tears.4

“Why?”5

“He’s been up in his room all day with the door locked. He hasn’t even come down to eat and every time I went by his room I could hear him crying. He didn’t think I could hear him, but I could. Something’s wrong and I’m worried. Could you please, just try?” A single tear fell down her cheek and I hugged her. I couldn’t say no to that. I nodded my head and she tried to smile.6

“I will.” I said. 7

“Thank you.” She said before kissing the top of my head. “I worry about all my babies.” 8

I smiled at her before pulling away from her hug and running up the stairs. Good thing she didn’t know about the lock-picking secret between me and Chris. He was going to talk to me wether he wanted to or not. I was going to get answers and now.9

I quickly ran to my room and grabbed the two bobby-pins(sp?) I’d stolen and then back to Chris’s room. I tried knocking first and got no answer, but a soft sniffle. I quietly picked at the lock so he didn’t hear me coming and then burst through the door.10

I expect to see him on his bed, but he wasn’t. I looked around. Was he even in here? I started for the connecting bathroom, but a creak from behind me caused me to turn around. I shut the door and he was behind it in the far corner or the room. He was sat on the floor with his legs out. He starred blankly ahead at nothing while his hands clutched and un-clutched the fabric of his pants. He was crying, but he didn’t make a sound to show that he noticed. Unusably when I see someone cry, the can’t talk right or they will whimper a lot, even have a hard time breathing, but he wasn’t doing any of those. It was almost as if the tears were coming down without his consent.11

I had to stare at him a few seconds longer than normal to register it was even him. He didn’t look like himself. In fact, he didn’t look human. There were dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t gotten any sleep. The bruises and cuts that usually littered his body had increased full blown. It saddened me to see him in this state. I decided then that this was going to stop. Whoever was abusing him was going too far. At least before they’d had the decency to hurt him where it didn’t show, but now...12

I walked forward slowly and the creak in the floor made him flinch and I stopped. Whatever had been done to him had caused permanent damage to his ego. I walked the rest of the way to him cautiously, stopping whenever he pushed himself further into the wall. Eventually, I reached him and slowly squatted down to his level. My knee accidently brushed his leg and I quickly covered his mouth before he could let out the scream I knew he was about to.13

He shivered profusely and pulled at my hand, his words muffled under it. I told him to shush and that if he wanted me to let go he couldn’t scream. He nodded hurriedly and I let go, but immediately grabbed him again by the shoulders as he was about to slam his body into the wall.14

“What’s the matter with you?” I yelled at him and it only made him flinch away more.15

“G-go away.” He squeaked out.16

“Not until you explain yourself.”17

He only looked away from me and stared at the floor.18

“You can’t do this anymore. This guy, whoever he is, is going way to far. This is more than just the little beating’s you use to get.”19

“Th-this is nothing...” His voice sounded hatful and it was scaring me. “He’s stabbed me before.” He rasped.20

“What?” My breath caught. How could someone do this? “Who is he?” I tried, but he only shook his head.21

“Why not?” I growled out angrily.22

“No...he’ll h-hurt you if I t-ell.” He stared sobbing and I pulled him against me into an awkward hug. 23

“No one will hurt me, Chris, cause unlike you, I’d tell someone if they did.”24

“Not if they said they’d hurt someone you cared about?” 25

“Then just tell after you knew that someone was safe.”26

“It’s...it’s not that simple!” He pushed away from me and stood up on shaky legs. I got up to help him, but he pushed me away again.27

“Sure it is. I’m right here, aren’t I? He can’t hurt me right now, so tell me. Then we’ll tell someone else before he finds out?” 28

I almost thought I wasn’t making sense. He took a step back from me and shook his head while starring wide eyed at me. Those blue eyes of his still made me think he was the most beautiful person in the world. Didn’t this ‘he’ see his eyes when they did this to him? Didn’t they see how hurt he was when they looked into them? Maybe it was only me that saw this when I looked at him, or maybe this person was too heartless to care.29

“B-but...” He didn’t having anything to say to my reasoning, because it was true. Even if he didn’t want to admit it.30

“No but’s, now tell me...please.” I walked forward and gripped his arms softly and looked into his watering eyes to show him how serious I was and how badly I wanted to know who the bastard was that was doing this to him. “I’ll do anything, but please let me help you.” I added.31

I felt him shaking in my arms. He sighed and I let go of him and waited. He looked like this was what he’d been dreading to do his whole life. He wrapped his arms around him to try and stop his shaking so he could talk clearly, but it didn’t work very well. He looked up at me, tears still running down his already wet cheeks. He didn’t want to do this and if I had to see this hurt on his face to find out who was hurting him, it wasn’t worth it. I dropped my head in defeat32

“If you don’t want to, never mind. I’m sorry-...”33

“No!” I looked back up, hearing the urgency in his voice. He wanted to tell me, he was just scared. Was this it? Was he finally going to tell me?34

“...r-remember...when you came in my room yesterday?”35

I thought on it and then rolled my eyes.36

“You mean when you and Vincent were fooling around? Ya, I remember, not something I really want to remember, but what does that have to do-...” I stopped when I heard him grind his teeth in anger.37

“We were not fooling around!” I blinked.38

“...ok.” This was weird. What did I say to make him so mad?39

“Then what do the kids call that now days?” I almost wanted to laugh, but the look on his face told me this wasn’t a joke.40

“It’s called what you just said, but we weren’t doing that.”41

“Then what were you doing?”42

“I-I...I-wasn’t d-doing anything.” Ok, now we were back on track. The track that he stutters on.43

“You guys were obviously doing something like that. You were both naked. I saw! If you weren’t playing around then why were you naked?”44

“He made me.” If I wasn’t standing right in front of him, I wouldn’t of heard him.45

“What?” I didn’t understand what he was saying or what this even had to do with what we were talking about. The next thing that came from him was not what I was expecting at all.46

“He. Made. Me! Don’t you get it?! Don’t you get any of it?! I thought you would of found out as soon as it happened, I was no good at hiding things and it looked so obvious from my point, but you are so-stupid! I have to fucking spell it out for you! We weren’t fooling around, we were having sex! Fucking sex! No-he was having sex. I was being raped! RAPED! He was forcing me! Do you get it now? It happens every damn day, right under your stupid nose, either at his house, mine, or the school! The freak-in school! He did it at the school! I hate it! I hate it so much! He promised and then he said it didn’t matter! He called me a slut! It’s all I was good for to him! What I wanted didn’t matter! It didn’t to you either! From the very start you hated me and I never did anything to you! Nothing! You hated me for nothing, just like him! Are you happy now? You know everything! The bruises are from him throwing me against the wall! The teeth marks are from when I don’t listen to him! It’s all from Vincent! He hurts me! He hurts me!...he hurts me...and you don’t care...”47

It clicked. 48

Everything clicked. The gears in my head were suddenly working again. They’d been jammed so long from all the confusion and questions. But now that everything made sense, I could think straight. I could understand...what he was...saying...49

He sank to his knees in front of me and sat on his feet, his hands immediately going to cover his face while he bawled his eyes out.50

“You don’t care...” He said again, through his hands. I wanted to tell him otherwise, but I didn’t think I could move. Everything made sense and I had too many emotions flooding in at once. Without even noticing, my eyes watered and tears spilled over. I couldn’t even notice them. My eyes were fixed solely on Chris. My knees felt week and I sank down in front of him the same way he just did. 51

He sniffled and pulled his hands away from his face to look at me. I couldn’t do anything for a long time but stare at him. Once I’d gotten over the shock, I grabbed him so fast he didn’t see it coming. He let out a small cry of surprise as I squeezed him as tight as I could to my body. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening. When he’d first started his yelling, I was angry because he called me stupid, but as he continued, that feeling and all other feelings had completely left me. I was stupid. Stupid for not helping him sooner. He was my friend. I was supposed to be there for him no matter what. And what did I do, but abandon him. I abandoned my one and only friend and then almost lost him. I did care, but I tried to pretend I didn’t. I thought he had become a jerk, but I was the jerk. I left him when he needed me most. I didn’t deserve his friendship, didn’t deserve him.52

“I’m sorry.” I whispered against his neck, where my head was buried. He relaxed in my grip and hugged me back, his nails digging into the fabric of my shirt like I was suddenly not going to be there. He cried into my shoulder softly and it made my heart ache. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I care more than anything in the world about you, so please don’t say that.” I was begging for forgiveness. 53

“J-just hold me, please.” And I did. He whimpered slightly as I gently pulled him into my lap, my arms wrapping around his back securely. He laid his head against my chest while he cried. He was hiccuping now from all the crying and I held him tighter, hoping he didn’t hate me for all I’d done.54

Eventually, he’d cried and hiccuped himself to sleep in my arms. I gently stood up, carrying him with me and walked to his bed. I laid down against the warm sheets, pulling him down next to me, his head still safely resting on my chest. He snuggled closer to me, his hands gripping my shirt. He looked so beautiful and calm now in his sleep and I felt relief fill me. As long as he wasn’t hurting anymore, I could rest easy. I put my hand over his and laced our fingers together, squeezing lightly, while I wiped his tear stains away with my other hand. He stirred slightly and squeezed my hand back, a small smile tugging at his lips. 55

“You wont leave, will you?” He whispered against me.56

“Never again.” I promised, leaning down and kissing his hair.57

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.” I shushed him with a finger to his lips.58

“Don’t think about that now. I wont see you cry anymore.” I pet his head gently and he sighed in contentment. Everything was fine now. He was happy and if he was happy so was I.59

I pulled the blanket over us and snuggled down into the warmth of them and Chris’s body heat. I pulled him close to me, whispering soothing words into his ear to keep him happy and relaxed all night. He never stirred once and slept soundly through the whole night.60

I, on the other hand, couldn’t sleep. I wouldn’t even if I wanted to. I starred at him all night, making sure nothing disturbed him. He deserved this happiness. Especially after everything he told me he’d been through. It would never happen again. I wouldn’t let it. 61

It felt so perfect in this position with him looking so happy. I didn’t think people could smile in their sleep, but he was. He was beautiful and I couldn’t help but run my hand through his hair. It made him smile more, like he was having a wonderful dream. 62

In that moment, when I saw him smile so brightly, the same way he had when I first saw him. That day, by the doorway while I sat on the staircase. He’d looked at me like he knew, knew I was going to change his life, cause I was. From this point on, I was going to give him everything. Make his world seem perfect and amazing. And even if he didn’t care, I would always love him.63

Forever64