His son’s secret

From the first moment that he understood the meaning of getting presents, he began asking for them.1

His father asked him: “Frankie boy, what would you like to have for your birthday?”
Little Frankie looked up, smiled at his father. “Red ball.” He raised his tiny little hand, and showed his father the desired size with his thumb and finger.
Father laughed, he was happy his son did understand him. And at his birthday Frankie got his little red ball.2

A year later father asked his son: “Frankie, what would you like to have for your birthday? You like a tricycle?”
Frankie looked up, tried to look serious, but smiled. “Daddy, the only thing you can really make me happy with is a little red ball, just a little red ball.”
The father found it a little strange, he did remember the year before, but he didn’t ask why.
If his son only wanted a little red ball for his birthday, he should have one.3

This ritual repeated itself every year, every birthday.
Frankie asked every year for the little red ball. Father never asked why his son only wanted a little red ball.4

The same happened when Frankie went to basic school, to high school, when he graduated, and when he went to university.
Father offered his son, bicycles, clothes, a car, a television set, and all other kind of expensive things.
Frank always shook his head, always refused the presents.
He said: “Dad, the only thing you can really make me happy with is a little red ball, just a little red ball.”
Father never asked why or what.5

When he came from university - Cum Laude - father asked Frank again the question: “Frank, my fantastic son, what would like to have; now you’re a doctor? Would you like to have a sports car?”
He knew the answer already, so he carried a little red ball in his pocket.
Frank looked his father straight in the eyes and said: “Father, I know you want the best for me, and I appreciate that, but the only thing you could really make me happy with is a little red ball, just a little red ball.”
Father didn’t ask anything about his son’s wish. He gave his son the little red ball, and he also bought for him a sports car.6

Years went by. Every birthday, same question, same answer, same gift. A little red ball.7

Frank found the love of his life, and they planned to get marry.
Father asked again: “Frank, what would like to have for you’re wedding day? A house where you can life with your wife?”
Frank shook his head, like he had done many times before on the same question. He smiled at his father and said: “Father, I know you want to make me happy, but the only thing you could really make me happy with is a little red ball, just a little red ball.”
Father gave his son the desired present, and kept his questions to his own.8

Five months after the marriage Frank had a terrible car accident, when the ambulance reached the hospital, Frank was hardly alive.
The doctors did the best they could, but they knew they were loosing this battle.9

His father, mother and his wife stayed at his side the whole time.
A priest came to him for his last confessions. His mother and wife didn’t stop crying.
Father stood near the bed, holding his son’s hand, he said: “Son, always when I wanted to give you a present, you asked only for a little red ball. I never asked you why. I never asked what you did with that little red ball.”10

“Soon you go to meet the good Lord, all the way up to heaven.
Frankie boy, please tell me your secret about the little red ball.”11

Frank slowly opened his eyes, he looked up to his father, a thin smile came on his lips, he opened his mouth a little…12

13

…and, then he died.14

15

Author notes

This story was a kind of cynical joke in my country. I wrote my version of it.

Contest name - I Want Your Gold!!!!

Bring it On! contest - Humor

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 34 of 34

  • ForTheLoveOfBooks silver member
    November 15
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    So no one will ever know what he wanted all those little red balls? I'm soooo curious.
    It wasn't really funny to me...nice read and it built up anticipation for what the red balls meant to the boy but yea just wasn't that funny for me...
    Thanks for entering my contest and good luck!


  • Farhan
    November 13
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Hello!

    Well, I am curious as a sheep about all this mystery of red ball but I think this is one of the mysteries which will remain unsolved forever. The twist in the end was unexpected and the story was good overall. Anyways, Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
    Happy Writing.
    Farhan


  • Silenced Lullaby
    November 5
    Edit | Reply
    aggggghhhhhck! i hate hanging endings. good story though. held my attention thoroughly. ^^


  • chiapet
    October 29
    Edit | Reply
    wow


  • rocker4life
    August 29

    Edit | Reply
    Um its a great story.. couple mistakes like in Para 2 its says he was happy his son did understood him. change that to understand... well thats all I could find but it was great... was disapointed cuz i dont know what the little red balls were for but... okay it was great so good luc


  • Ayesha Raees
    August 29

    Edit | Reply
    cynical joke?
    that seemed nothing like a cynical joke.

    I loved the story. Really. Though i really want to know why he wanted the little red ball.


  • ELFgirl12
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    You need some work on your grammar, but, all-in-all, it was a well-written story with some added humor. It was a good entry...good luck in the contest!

    -Ellie (Rae)


  • Asfand
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    I think overall, this story is good.
    There is one thing very good about it, and one thing that put me off.
    The concept is original, bold and very unique. The twist in the end was certainly one hell of a twist - I did not expect him to die. Excellent work here.
    The bad thing: grammar and sentence structure. I thought the story was choppy, lots of tense problems here and there which really bugged me.
    I think if you could just take the time, give it thorough edit, this would be excellent.
    Anyway, I enjoyed the twist.
    Thanks for entering and good luck!


    P1: he begun[began] asking for them

    P2: Frankie-boy - [remove hyphen]
    P2: Why the change of tense. At first it's past [asked/smiled/looked] and then suddenly present [gets/understan]

    P5: shakes his head [shook his head]


  • lesbian-in-love
    August 23
    Edit | Reply
    That was good. Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Para Turkey gold member
    August 19
    Edit | Reply
    kewl good luck


  • Melancholic Smile
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my, now I'm frustrated! But in a good way - I think! Like everyone else who has commented, I really want to know the significance of the red ball! You wrote this well, it was short and sweet with a good flow and it kept me hooked from beginning to end. I did actually like the ending despite it being so frustrating *laugh* Keep up the good work

  • DeathByChocolate
    July 27
    Edit | Reply
    lol awesome idea i really wanna know about the red ball


  • YourPinUpDoll
    July 12
    Edit | Reply
    **scratches head** now i want to know!!!

    lol Good Job and Good Luck!

    Raven


  • DreamWanderer gold member
    July 10

    Edit | Reply
    God. I laughed out loud. Superb. I'm not even going to nitpick the two, maybe three awkward passages I had an issue with (I admit I can be the critical Nazi sometimes). There's no point! I like the format, too. A fresh approach.

    Dw


  • Rosemary silver member
    July 10
    Edit | Reply

    Good story

    Frustratingly good. This story will keep me thinking for awhile. Hmmm, what would I do with all those red balls?


  • Mistress Cheetah
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    awww this is so sad!!


  • Marisalyn13
    July 2
    Edit | Reply
    This is really good, good job!


  • hsmlover1
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic the story leads to that finall question though it suprises u when he dosent answer! Its sad really but fantastic story reall gets u hooked to the very end!

    Thanks for entering my contest and good luck!!!


  • MissIndecisive
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    Talk about a let down! (The ending not your story). I was so curious waiting the entire story to find out about the little red ball, but then nothing. It was good story though; I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for entering my contest.


  • Violette silver member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    Oh god my thoughts were not leaning toward that ending at all. Nice work, it surprised me! A rarity to be sure. Your beginning was very sweet too, I wanted to hug the child for saying such cutesy things.


  • Valkyrie silver member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    Agh! Agh agh agh...that's so wrong! I was expecting a long, serious story, but no no, we veered over here into irony instead. Ah the irony of not getting what I expected! Ehhhhxcellent! Thanks for entering my contest.


  • Cupcake14
    April 18
    Edit | Reply
    The first few parts had me feeling it was some kind of philosophical story, especially when he had that accident(How cruel ). And just when he was about to say it, he died. It made me laugh, but I can see the cynicism in it-though it's a bit too subtle for people to catch.
    The last sentence made me smile though, it was a bit funny, in a dark sort of way.


  • Preeti Prasad
    April 4
    Edit | Reply
    Y did he want the little red ball?!?!?!?!?!


  • WhiteHorse17
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    it was good, but not that funny


  • Keirii
    March 21
    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely loved this story!!!
    It's simple yet really different and it just makes me think of family stories, like christmas, and now I'm rambling

    Oh, whatever...

    I really thought this was a cute story, and i'm really glad you entered it!!!

    Great job!!!
    I'll come back and check it out at the end of the contest.


  • IceIceBaby
    March 19
    Edit | Reply

    Terrible!!!

    Terrible! But in agood way!!! I really liked this, cute, mean, harsh, cruel, and good!!


  • Savage
    February 27

    Edit | Reply

    Lol!

    This was serious... serious... serious... LOL! Yeah, this definitely is a really cynical joke, but it's funny.


  • Elvenfairy
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    I couldn't really see anything amusing in this, especially the ending. Thanks for enetring it into my contest though.


  • beerstorecowboy
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    Ok, I'm gonna be honest: I thought this was going to turn out to be really dirty at the end, especially with the priest there and all. I'm not gonna tell you what I thought he was doing with the balls, but you probably get the idea.... I'm a little ashamed of myself...

    Anyway! I love the story. Had a very traditional/joke feel to it and seeing that it's a folktale of your motherland... well, that explains that. This does present a problem for me, though, because the story isn't original. But that's not what this contest is about, I suppose, so I'll just skip over that part.

    Since the story is solid and a re-telling I really can't give you much of a critique on substance. I hate being stuck critiquing grammar, but: Double-triple-really-really proofread your work. For example, here's the first sentence of this story:

    From the first moment when he understood the meaning of getting presents, he begun asking for it.

    This should have read something like:

    From the first moment that he understood the meaning of getting presents, he began asking for them.

    I know. I know. It's really lame to even point that stuff out, but it's all I've got for you. Sorry... By the way, from which country does this story originate?


    • Luci Ferraris
      March 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your comment. I don't mind getting critic, it improves my stories.
      The story was told in the Netherlands. I have seen a English tale that was kind of similair to the Dutch version. Except in the English version the father gave his son on every occasion a little red ball, the son never asked for it.


  • StreetRider
    February 17
    Edit | Reply
    a very good story, it really got my attention.

  • TheDecree
    February 15
    Edit | Reply
    This story really kept my attention. I was trying to figure out why the son kept asking for a red ball, and then at the end of your story it was like a cliffhanger! So the father was hanging on his son's last words, nut he did't get an answer.

    Nice job. (:

    Good luck in my contest. (:


  • neutraltint
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    I REALLY LOVE THIS STORY! It is SO funny! PERFECT FOR MY CONTEST! I liked how it cut off - making the people reading it want more. NICE JOB! Thanks for entering my contest!

  • cooliobean13
    February 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is friggin hilarious! I love how you jsut cut it off at the end, like, it leaves me wondering what he wanted the little red ball for.

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