We entered through a gate while Edward covered my eyes with his ice-cold hands.when he lifted off his hands I saw a waterfall,everyone I knew was there -even Mike Newton- and everything was so vivid. They were throwing me a birthday party -which I didn't want- that was a very big picnic. Everyone was talking to me but, I zoned them out. All I really wanted was for Edward to put me on his back and take me for a run to the waterfall. It also seem like he wanted to get away from the party.1
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Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Mhmm
Awesome starter,good description and it fits with the Twilight characters

beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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This is a good start. Such a sweet thing to do. So edwardish. Well done!
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yeah...
I wished there was more to this, and I'm not really a fan of fan-fic. You should really continue this, though...(: -
good starter
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I like it, there are a few errors. Like capital letters. But still good, Bella would react exactly like that. I think that Alice would be the one to plan the party. You had good descriptions.
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