Tick Tock, Tick Tock.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock.1

The minutes pass by, and I'm on the edge of my seat, eyes darting to and fro until the wall obscures my vision out the window. 2

Ah hah! There he is, the glorious mailman! Not that I have a crush on him or anything, but he may be holding something more important to me than he will ever be.3

Oh, that was sort of mean. Greg's a nice guy and all...just not my type. 4

I run out the door as soon as his little white truck pulls to a stop in front of the box.5

"I got it Greg. Is it here? Is it?" I ask, sounding much like an impatient little girl. Oh, how I long to be accepted into New York State University!6

"Why, yes. I reckon it is little lady." He said in his VERY Southern accent. He moved here from Texas when I was about eight years old, and he never lost that accent.7

"YES!!!!" I shouted, and did an embarrassing little dance, with a chorus of "Uh huh"s and "Oh yeah"s and even a few "Hell yes"es. 8

I snatched the mail out of his hands, my face turning bright red because of the look he was giving me. It was an 'I think she's lost her mind but I ain't telling cause it's amusing' look.9

I dashed back up to the house, and shut the door. I looked to my left and my right, as if I were a child theiving cookies from the jar just before dinner.10

I sat down on the armrest of the couch, and just as I was about to open the letter, the door burst open.11

"Where's my favorite little daughter?" Groan. My mother's here. I'll never get rid of her or have a moment alone to open my letter.12

"I'm your only daughter, mom." I said grimly. I wanted to open the letter so badly, my fingers itched with the need to open an envelope. Specifically, the envelope with the return address of NYU. 13

"Ah, too true. All the more reason for me to visit! Oh dear, did I interrupt anything?" She inquired, feigning innocence. 14

"You know full well that the mail comes about right now and also that I am expecting a letter, mother dearest." I said, staring her down, a glint in my eye. 15

So frustrating, being unable to open the letter. It was just sitting there, begging to be tore at until it revealed what I hoped to be the prize inside.16

"Oh, well, don't let me interrupt, love." She stated, up on her tip toes to see the envelopes in my lap.17

"Out mother, I'll let you know when it comes. It hasn't come yet." I lied, hoping to get her to leave as quickly as possible.18

Her face fell. I felt slightly guilty, but I was dying to open the envelope.19

"Alright then, perhaps another time, Jamie Bear." She said, using my nickname; which only made my guilt increase.20

"Bye mom."21

As soon as she was out the door, I tore open the envelope.22

Dear Jamie,23

We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance to our fine school. We also congratulate you on your full scholarship to NYU. 24

There was more, but I didn't read more after that.25

I danced around, called all my friends, shouted out the window, and almost fell out too.26

Ah, sweet success.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • pink polka
    April 10

    Edit | Reply
    Great story. I like the length, long stories bother me. What she said about the mailman? That was mean. Haha. I am glad she got accepted. So many stories have sad endings. I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

    Again, good short story. Emotions, descriptions, all in 400 words.

    I like the mailman. What's wrong with an accent. Haha, she lied to her mother to open her letter in peace. It would be too much for mom to be comforting you if you didnt' get accepted. Sympathy makes me feel worse.

    Ah, must be a lot of anxiety opening those letters. it would truly suck to get rejected. especially ivy league because you have to be accepted to even apply.

    Nice job, once again. Man, I'm jealous of your skills.

  • BurntUmber
    February 5

    Edit | Reply

    ***** Five Stars!

    Excellent Story!

    It's really the perfect length, with my short attention span.

    Great, terrific, YAY! I am so happy to be reading this writing and having such a wonderful turnout in my contest!

    Good luck in my contest!


  • Amaylisse
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    This sentence: "..It was an 'I think she's lost her mind but I ain't telling cause it's amusing' look...."

    I would rewrite it as:

    It was an I-think-she-lost-her-mind-but-I-ain't-telling-cause-it's-amusing look.

    "..I dashed back up to the house, and shut the door...." This could be switched around. How can you dash in your house and then close your door? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

    Ah....success is so sweet isn't it? We all love the smell and the sight of those letters when we receive one! Great story!

    beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 2, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 3.